chapter 1

lived with my grandparents for the first 9 years of my life. With also my uncle and my two aunts. It was during this time I grew somewhat closer to him then anyone else.

It was good for me because our schools were next door to each other and by time school was done, we head home we either both  be watching TV with him sprawled out on the chair me lay AAT on knee for like two or three hours out of the day then straight to garden to play, weekends were lazy days for us we both dive in the bed under the duvet watching cartoons.

To me I loved nothing more then being around him. Though when I moved out and moved home with my mum I started noticing these slight changes I was withdrawn depressed and all I known was tipped.

I thought it might been because my grandmother died and he wasn't there when I needed him but I wasnt attracted to girls though they befriended me. And people thought I was to young to be depressed I didn't know then like I do now that I had fallen for him.

When I turned 13 I knew by this point and my best friend knew the only person I could ever tell and I started to separate from him. By time my aunts wedding came about I had turned 17 and had been in relationship for a year by then and things were slowly changing I drank a lot of vodka and coke that night and I went for a smoke to get some air, and he had stopped me on the stairs of the pub we argued because he knew the distance I put between us and this is the conversation we had.