Professor Mark

A person with an interest in balancing the long running format of a story would never allow a group like the Viltrumites to learn magic. After all, when you already have enough strength, toughness, and speed to dominate a setting what would you need magic for?

Utility. Utility is the correct answer, as well as covering that insidious advantage magic users have over the physically inclined. And as someone quite happy to flip the table over rather than play the comic book game like a good little boy, I took up a teaching position at the Imperial University in the newly established School of Mystic Arts.

I did this with the intent to create a full division of magically adept Viltrumites, ten thousand new sorcerers and sorceresses for those unfamiliar with military group sizes. For this I created an eight year long program intelligently designed to force even mouth breathers to become at least journeyman spell flingers. Those smarter than cats and dogs, not many if you have spent much time meeting new people I assure you, could expect to master the basics in that period and become Masters of the Mystics Arts by the standards of Kamar Taj.

A hundred students filled the classroom for my first Mystic Arts 100 course, all of them veteran students of the university so as not to bog me down with non-hackers. All of them my very own descendants as I do not place faith in others not bound to my will through filial piety or long suffering partnership.

"Today, I will show you all just how much you do not know." I smirked as I looked upon my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and so on and so forth, "You all think you know how the world works, that the material is all there is. What is real, what exists beyond sensation and perception. At the root of existence mind and matter meet. Thoughts shaping reality. I am about to expose you all to universes so far from your comfort zone you may find yourselves driven quite mad. Do not fret though. If your mind breaks, there is a long waiting list of students to replace you."

I grinned as my descendants realized that my long absence had been very beneficial for their well being, "So let's go my little students. OPEN YOUR EYES!"

The distorted power of my voice sent them on a spiritual journey through the trippiest mind fuckiest possible dimensions one after another with no stopping, resting, or recovering. Their brains would absolutely light up under a MRI scan, full activation while they tried to process the kaleidoscopic phantasmagoric experience. Essentially, this process opens the mind back up for those who have become set in their ways and patterns of thinking.

"Show of hands who has lost their mind." I commanded of the class after I ended the trip.

Though they all looked quite unwell, not a single hand went up.

"Wonderful." I smiled and continued on with the lesson.

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"Oh Professor, I'll do anything to pass your class." Kate teased in between kisses as we moved this party to the bedroom.

"Please don't do that." I stopped her, "All of my students are my descendants, and incest makes my boner blood go right back to my brain."

Kate huffed, "Now you are just being tangential, and boring."

"Boring?" I growled, "I'll show you boring!"

Kate squealed in joy as I hauled her over my shoulder and worked my way through a dozen of her before the night ended, and as we finally passed out I knew we were going to be alright.

We settled into a comfortable period of our lives while Hela entered a period of regular terror and stress. In a glorious example of poetic justice, she had in fact conceived on that conference table, and the proud Asgardian conqueror crumbled in the face of all the fears of a first time parent. Obviously between magic, science, and her own vast power no part of the pregnancy carried even a hint of risk, but the ever fresh discovery of new ways to harm a fetus and then a child drove her up the wall.

She gave birth to Bron, and declared him the god of strength. I thought it was cute right up until Bron proved that he wasn't supernaturally strong for an Asgardian, but was supernaturally strong for a Viltrumite. At every stage of his development Bron was ten times stronger than an elite class Viltrumite, and his supernatural strength interacted with strength enhancing enchantments. Where I could achieve a five fold increase in strength using my nanite power suit, Bron achieved a twenty five fold enhancement.

He also grew a foot taller than me and proportionally bigger.

Bron out wrestled me for the first time at the age of eighteen. I found myself caught in a lock and realized that I would have to fight dirty to escape, sullying the sacred art of the wrassle. I tapped out, and for the first time in my life lost a wrassle to one of my children.

The boy obviously hyped over his first win, celebrated with little regard for my dignity and I gave him that, but then Bron became… uppity. My son with Hela was always a bit of an arrogant douche, but he'd always known better than to act that way towards me. He even went as far as to tell others of his victory over me.

This obviously could not stand.

Late in the night - while Bron slept - I entered his room and opened a portal, dropping his bed into the Marvel universe, and I followed after him. As Bron sprung from his bed, spilling his alien lover into the planet wide sea of Morag. While he did this I used the Reality Stone to make my Viltrumite biology temporarily compatible with the All-Black, and then I proceeded to lay an Omni-Man style beat down on the boy.

"What's wrong, son?" I asked as I punched his face into a battered mess, "Will this not make for a funny story to tell my friends?"

"Da..d?" he mumbled through fat lips, "Dad, pweeze."

"You thought that being physically stronger than me made you the big man, the big boss." I spat on him, "You thought you would lead my armies, steal my treasures, fuck my women. Not in a million years will you rise to my level. I will always be out of reach."

I then dragged him back to where we started this beat down and showed him the crocodilian creatures inhabiting this world circling around his lover as she floated on his bed. We waited until one thrust itself up out of the water and snagged her, dragging her into the deep dark waters where the other crocodilians waited, and together they tore her to pieces.

"You are the woman. Who am I?" I demanded of my weeping son.

"The crocs…" he wailed.

"No. I am the water. I am the black depths, and no matter how deep you dive I will always be deeper. And no one gets back to the surface unless I let them." I explained, "Do you understand?"

"Y…yes, sir." he croaked.

"Good. Now let's go home, and clean you up before your mother finds out about this session of cognitive recalibration." I smiled and with a flash of Chi put his face back together.

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They say that beating a child doesn't work to correct misbehavior, so Bron must be special because the boy saw the light. Became a wonderful person. A little jumpy, but I'd take that over douchie any day of the week.

Unfortunately, Bron wasn't the only descendant in need of a reckoning during our stay in the Flaxan Dimension.

I took the top three students from the first graduating class of Mystic Art's students and made them my personal apprentices, showing them the Path of the Abjurer. I am not a magical genius or savant, but my talent in negation and my willingness to sit down and grind created a brilliant field of anti-magic capable of no selling supreme wizards into weepy little man children.

It culminated in the creation of a single spell - the penultimate and greatest spell of Abjuration - Instant Negation. This spell applied all my might and skill in the field of anti-magic in a single instant. It didn't matter how powerful a spell, enchantment, or being was, for by the time they could even react to the spell I'd have already nullified the spell, stripped the enchantment, and magically neutered the being.

As you might imagine this is one hell of a spell, and though I would always keep that ace up my sleeve I willingly taught my three apprentices the magics leading up to that spell. They'd need at least a century to become experts in the field, but not a one lasted even a decade before the corruption of the Darkhold twisted their minds.

I had to give it up to the book. It spread its influence even through magic made specifically to counter its contents, the relation to the knowledge within a tenuous enough connection to attack through. I had to kill my apprentices.

So no great school of Viltrumite Abjurers turning grand wizards and witches into their bitches. Sad face.