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Invictus: A Naruto Insert.

When I died, I never thought I'd get a second chance at life, let alone another chance as the protagonist of an anime. Getting another chance in a world with Snake pedos, heart thieves, and peepers with doomsday capabilities wasn't a part of the memo. But I ain't selling my life cheap, that's for damn sure. Male OC NarutoInsert. Chapters 1-4 prologue.

Raging_Smurf · Anime e quadrinhos
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78 Chs

Team Assignments

Team assignment was today. The two week wait was finally over. Kakashi told me I'd be part of Team 7's test, but he didn't give any details. I'd get acquainted with the other teams within the first week, and by the look in Kakashi's eyes, he planned on having some fun.

He knows how irritated Rin and me get when he'd intentionally show up late a couple of times.

The insufferably lazy Jonin would make us go out to find him to drag him to training.

Helping us with tracking, He said. Although that was true that it did help, I'm pretty certain he just liked to screw with us.

You'll get your comeuppance if you're late this time.

Rin and I walked to the Academy, a spring in her step being noticeable. She'd been elated since she realized Hinata would be on her team. Even Sasuke couldn't put a dampener on her mood.

Keeping ahold of her hand, we arrived at the Academy, most of the other Rookie 9 already there. Nodding towards Shikamaru and Choji in acknowledgement, I sat right next to Hinata, Rin sitting next to Sasuke to irritate him once again.

She pisses him off more than I do. I chuckled to myself.

I'd never think of breaking someone's nose, then proceed to "apologize" by setting it back in place. His shout of pain and the fangirls shrieking and wailing about their "Sasuke-kun" getting manhandled by another girl never failed to bring me amusement.

Sasuke should have known better than to snicker at Rin being called a bitch.

Calling her "crazy" ticked her off, but "bitch" was a sure fire way to set her off. I'd never call my sister that word, but it was funny to see her get worked up and take it out on the fangirls in taijutsu sparring.

Waiting several minutes for Iruka, I wondered what was taking so long. This was the second time he was late, what's going on?

Bored, and wishing to pass the time, I started singing softly.

Rin shot me a glare when she could hear me because I was singing in a language she couldn't understand. Joke's on her though, it technically is a language she knows, just not the version she would understand.

"Lociende ymbe rum, nile tellan th'e his raed."

////////////////////

What the hell is he singing? Sasuke thought with a narrowing of his eyes. He wasn't going to try understanding a single word of the language Naruto was yammering on in.

Rin was almost vibrating next to him from how irate she was. He could hear her muttering something about "Always doing this." Sasuke just assumed that Naruto did this to irritate her specifically.

Siblings tormenting each other.

Praying that neither of them would be on his team, his thoughts settled towards wondering who his Jonin instructor would be. He'd heard about there being a taijutsu specialist and a Genjutsu mistress, but nothing concrete on who they were, or who their colleagues were.

"For thenung is on cycenan bathod on ise Ic beo waeht for lange hwile."

Will he SHUT UP for two minutes!

Sasuke was ready to yell at the only redhead in their class to shut up. He'd not had the best of sleep and was already on a short fuse from the nightmares that plagued him for the last four years.

Naruto's pitch then shifted to a higher one.

"And secge thin haer is on fyre thu most hafian losod thin witt, gea."

"Shut up." Sasuke finally growled, his fuse finally burned out.

Naruto just stared at him, bright blue eyes full of sadness.

"That was rude." he fake sniffled. "Not even my beloved loves my singing voice."

Sasuke clenched his fists, tired of all the jokes about him loving Naruto.

"I'd prefer the fangirls over you, idiot." he said coldly.

Sasuke twitched when he heard Rin huff right next to him.

"Don't call my brother an idiot." Rin said, her eyes narrowed, "Only I get to call him that."

Sasuke turned to Rin. "You," he pointed at her, "Are crazy," he then pointed at Naruto, "and he is an idiot and as crazy as you."

Rin hopped on to the desk and stared straight into his eyes, just inches from his face.

"Your 'brides-to-be' are stupid fangirls." she growled, "and you," she leaned closer, "have a duck's butt for a head. Don't you, Uke-kun?" she grinned sweetly, displaying her teeth.

Sasuke's glare intensified as he refused to break eye contact with the blonde.

That damn nickname. He seethed, his hands clenched on his desk.

Sasuke never did discover who threw the book. Whether it was Ino, Sakura, or some other fangirl, he didn't know. What he did know was that a book went sailing through the air and struck Rin in the back of the head. The impact drove her face forward several inches...directly into his own.

Oh Kami, no! He internally screamed, not believing the hell he was thrown in.

Her lips were pressed against his, his horror growing by every nanosecond as his thoughts turned to how soft her lips were. She pulled away, a look of shock and horror on her face matching his own. Her face then changed to one of fury.

I'm dead.

The next thing he knew, she'd grabbed ahold of his hair and smashed his face into the desk, hard enough that he heard a crack and felt agony burn through his nose.

Shouting in pain and trying and failing to get his hair out of her grip, he heard her growl towards everybody behind her.

"Who threw that?!" She snarled, her eyes burning with fury at the unknown thrower.

Sasuke shivered at the rage in her voice, temporarily losing the psychological fight mentality.

Nobody answered.

"Nobody?" she said, her tone slightly manic. "Ok," she continued, "I'm going to have fun." she said, eyeing Sasuke like he was prey to be pounced upon.

Trying to pull away from her, he felt a couple of his hairs pull loose as her grip tightened and he fell to the ground, trying to crawl from her.

"I'm not done yet." she growled at him, reaching for his face.

"Stay away." He stammered fearfully, not liking the look in her eyes.

"You need your nose fixed, Sasuke-kun." She said sweetly, wiggling her fingers slightly. "I'm just trying to help."

Sasuke shook his head, trying to avoid making eye contact with the scary girl standing over him.

"No." He whimpered, trying to drag himself away from the crazy blonde, "I can do it myself."

"You need a woman's touch." She said, her tone dripping fake kindness, before she jumped on him.

Sasuke kept his hands over his face to stop her from grabbing his nose, the jostling causing the pain to flare up even more so. He heard Ino and Sakura try to pull Rin off of him, only to see several bunshin appear and tackle the girls to the ground.

They're solid? He thought, before two more bunshin grabbed ahold of his arms and pulled them away from his face.

"Don't be a baby and take it like a man, Sasuke." She said, before reaching for his face.

This was the scene Iruka walked into. A twelve year old blonde straddling the waist of a boy she hated, grabbing ahold of his face to reset his broken nose, all the while as the aforementioned boy was screaming bloody murder at being restrained by the girl's clones.

He also saw her clones holding down Ino and Sakura from helping Sasuke. Shikamaru was pale and looking between the two blondes, muttering something about "Troublesome blondes". Choji was snickering at his friend's fear at the thought of Ino being on their team. Kiba was laughing like a loon and kept shouting "Cat fight". Shino was appearing to try and ignore what was happening, but one could see he was shaking slightly from laughter if one looked close enough.

Hinata had her head buried in her hands, horrified at the thought of having to deal with the two of them now. Naruto's face was shifting between multiple expressions at an almost indecipherable rate. One moment, it was of anger. Another moment, it was revulsion. He sent a few death glares at Kiba everytime he said "Cat fight". But the two most prevalent expressions were amusement, and strangely, worry.

Ino, Sakura, and the fangirls were shouting at Rin, demanding that she get off of Sasuke, to stop hurting him. Iruka had enough after only looking for a few seconds.

"What is going on?!" he shouted, using his Big Head Jutsu.

Everything got quiet, aside from Rin's heavy breathing and Sasuke's whimpers of pain.

Rin looked straight at Iruka, before answering. "Sasuke slipped and fell. He broke his nose from falling and his 'girlfriends'", she stared at the other girls, "Didn't like me putting his nose back in place."

"That's a lie," Sakura shouted, "Yo-".

"Quiet," Iruka demanded, not in the mood for quarreling girls. "Continue, Rin." he said, knowing that she probably wasn't being completely truthful.

"He fell," Rin said, "On his desk and I helped him... Didn't I, Sasuke-kun?" she finished sweetly, eyeing the boy she still had pinned to the ground.

Sasuke just gave a slight grunt of pain.

"Close enough." Rin said happily, before standing and going back to her seat, all her clones dispelling.

Iruka just shook his head. Thankfully this is their last day. It'll be someone else's problem to deal with them. He chuckled to himself.

After the room was paying attention to him, he addressed the graduating students.

"I will be announcing team placements." he said to the class. "Team 10 will be Nara Shikamaru, Akamichi Choji, and Yamanaka Ino. With Sarutobi Asuma as your Jonin Sensei."

Shikamaru and Choji showed no surprise, though Shikamaru looked depressed at the thought of dealing with Ino today, given what just occurred.

"Team 8," Iruka continued, "Will be Aburame Shino, Inuzuka Kiba, and Haruno Sakura. Your Jonin Sensei will be Yuuhi Kurenai."

Hinata adopted a contemplative look at the mentioning of the kind ruby-eyed woman who had helped her when she was younger, until Naruto and Rin came along.

"Team 7 will consist of Uchiha Sasuke," Sasuke perked up at his name being mentioned, avoiding making eye contact with Rin, "Hyuga Hinata,"

Good. Not a fangirl. Sasuke thought with relief.

"And Uzumaki Rin."

A tingle went up Sasuke's spine like some spectral creature just cut his life short.

I didn't hear him correctly. Sasuke thought, horror showing on his face. Not her. I'll take all the fangirls before her. She'll probably kill me on a mission after what just happened. She'll make it look like an accident.

"It's destiny, Sasuke-kun." She whispered to him, a sinister grin on her face that promised pain, "You can't fight Fate."

Sasuke flinched at her tone. Her brother would have been better.

"Hatake Kakashi will be your Jonin Sensei." Iruka finished, before sitting down behind his desk.

Over the next half hour, Jonin's Yuuhi and Sarutobi arrived to collect their students. Hatake had failed to show up.

Why is everybody late today? Sasuke thought, this day being an atrocious one in his opinion.

//////////////////////

Of course that happened. I thought cynically.

I never thought I would cause a "canon" event to happen from boredom. I'd been prepared to put the fear of God in Sasuke and whichever shrew chucked the book at Rin's head. Rin managed to do it far better than I'd been thinking of doing. I would have just punched Sasuke. She had humiliated him and the fangirls.

I knew Rin would be mortified at the thought of accidentally kissing the guy she considered to be an "emo duck ass".

I taught her well. It gave me ample blackmail material on the two of them. But another event that happened to "canon" Naruto happened to Rin. I knew that I was being paranoid to a ridiculous level, but knowing I was being irrational didn't stop me from still thinking about it though.

Over the course of an hour, everyone but Me, Rin, Hinata, and Sasuke had cleared out of the room.

"He's doing it again." Rin muttered to herself irritatedly.

"Hinata," I asked kindly, "Could you try and find where he's at?" I gestured to my temple to signify her eyes.

Hinata looked slightly ticked at Kakashi taking so long. She nodded before activating her Byakugan. After a moment, her face shifted to one of resignment.

"He seems to be lost on the road of Life." she said, almost as annoyed as Rin.

The day I found out there was a road in Konoha called "Life" was the day that I nearly wept at the BS that I knew would happen. Kakashi could get himself lost on that specific road and truthfully say he was lost on the road of life.

"Is there a cat or old lady?" I asked in a deadpanned voice.

Hinata reactivated her eyes, trying to investigate. "I see a few ninken," she started, "And they're chasing a black cat."

Muttering "Screw it." under my breath in English, I got up to leave.

"I'll drag him here. No guarantee on him being alive." I informed them in an aggravated tone, before walking out the door.

//////////////////

Sasuke looked at the doorway where Naruto had just vanished, then to Rin, then Hinata.

"What is even happening?" He asked, not understanding what was even going on.

"What's happening," Rin growled, "Is that our stupid Sensei is finding an excuse to be late as usual when he wants to piss me off."

"Wait," Sasuke stepped in, "You know him?"

"Yeah," Rin replied, "He's helped me and Naruto from time to time." The girl didn't elaborate further.

Is that why they're so good? Sasuke thought darkly. Favortism?

"So he's being late intentionally... to mess with us?" he asked.

"Yes," Rin said with a frown, "and he knows how to make a good excuse."

Sasuke thought on what Naruto had asked Hinata, then what Hinata's reply had been.

It then dawned on Sasuke what their Sensei was doing.

"You're telling me," he started, his voice tight, "That our Sensei intentionally got lost on a road called 'Life' so he can say he was lost on the Road of Life and not be lying?"

Rin just nodded. "And he's scared black cats to run in front of him."

Most veteran Shinobi had at the very least some degree of superstition. It tends to happen when your trade is one involving killing and running the risk of being killed. Kakashi could truely say he felt a sense of danger from seeing a black cat cross his path.

Sasuke groaned at the realization of who he'd be training under.

He's sounds like Shikamaru.

After about 10 minutes, Kakashi showed up. He was above average height with a mask, his Hitai-ate covering his left eye, and silver hair that seemed to stand up on its own accord. His posture was a bored one.

"Hello." he said, his tone relaxed.

"You're late." Rin said, her tone clipped.

"Sorry about that." he said, rubbing the back of his head, "I got lost on the Road of Life."

"We know." Hinata frowned at him.

Kakashi just looked at her. "I also saw a black cat walk across, so I needed to take the long way."

"We know." Rin growled.

Sasuke just remained quiet, looking at the nightmare that was unfolding before his very eyes.

Just end me.

"First expression," Kakashi said, looking at the three, "You have a temper," pointing at Rin, "You're quiet," he pointed at Hinata, "And you take things too seriously." he finished, looking at Sasuke."

A slight grunt was all that Sasuke responded with.

"I don't speak emo." Kakashi said simply, "Meet me on the roof. By the way, you might want to do something about your nose." he added, before he Shunshined to the roof.

He's like a cursed mixture between Shikamaru and Naruto. Sasuke thought, desperately trying to clean the blood off his still throbbing nose. Is this day going to get any worse?

/////////////////////////

I'd decided to mess with Kakashi and Sasuke. After about 10 minutes of standing outside the Academy, I Henged as Kakashi and walked into the Academy to act like I'd gotten Kakashi to get his ass over here.

After messing with the three, I Shunshined to the roof, waiting for the three to reach me. Pulling out a copy of Icha Icha I had bought for such an event, I peered over the top of the book to see the three of them walking towards me, Rin having a look of irritation on her face at what I was reading.

"Where's Naruto?" she asked, her tone betraying her continued irritation.

Still looking at the book, I answered. "He wasn't looking forward to 'dealing with me'", I said, turning a page, "He said he'd be at home and let you deal with me."

Rin's face twisted into an aggravated one and I heard her mutter 'Idiot brother' under her breath.

"Now," I said, closing the book and smiling, "Would we like to do introductions?"

I decided to start as an example. "I'm Hatake Kakashi. I like my dogs and reading books. My dislikes are traitors and those who don't appreciate good literature," I glanced at Rin, who discreetly flipped me the bird, " My dreams... Hmmn. Not sure about future dreams. I know I'd love to be in an Icha Icha film, even it were just a bit part." I finished, relishing in the looks I was receiving from Rin, Hinata, and Sasuke.

Rin glared at me for a moment, before following suite. "My name is Uzumaki Rin. I like my brother, Hinata, ramen, and training. I dislike liars and people who annoy me." she gritted out, glaring at Sasuke and me, Sasuke twitching at the glare. "My dreams are to be a strong kunoichi and protect the village... and have a family one day." she added quietly.

Rin had always told me how she wanted to have a large family one day. It was a dream I had in both my lives. Family meant a great deal to me in my last life. It wasn't any different in this one.

I then looked to Hinata, gesturing her to go next.

"My name is Hyuga Hinata." she started quietly, "I like my friends Rin and Naruto, my sister Hanabi, my Father, and cinnamon rolls. I dislike rude and cruel people. My dream is to be a strong clan head and bring my clan together again."

I nodded, before turning to Sasuke. He glared at me slightly before answering.

"Uchiha Sasuke." he said, his tone neutral. "There are few things I like, but there are plenty of things I hate." His voice then changed to an have an icy tone. "I don't have a dream, I have a promise. To kill a certain man and restore my clan."

I just gave him a look at his grand proclamation. "You didn't give anything about you." I said simply, "I'll just fill in the blanks with my own ideas." I then adopted a look of deep thought. "I think you like Naruto."

Sasuke sent me a look promising death at that. "I don't li-"

"You hate that he doesn't like you back." I interrupted, hearing Rin snicker to the left. "You see how this game is played?" I asked, "I'll keep it up until you show that you're willing to share like the rest of us."

Sasuke looked at me with hatred, before seeming to deflate at my gaze. Taking a deep breath, he looked directly into my eyes. "I like training, tomatoes, and curry." he said tightly, "I hate betrayal." he whispered.

I gave him a sympathetic look. "Thank you." I said.

"There will be a test to determine whether I accept you as students tomorrow."

At that, Sasuke looked back at me with a surprised look on his face. "What do you mean a 'second test'?" he demanded, "We already graduated."

"Nothing forces me to accept you." I shrugged. "If what I see tomorrow impresses me, I'll accept you."

Hinata and Rin were aware of what would happen tomorrow, so they kept quiet.

"Be at training ground 7 at 6:30." I said, "I'd recommend not eating breakfast, you'll likely vomit." I then prepped to leave. But before I did, I gave one more bit of information. "The test begins when we're all there. Try not to be late."

I then disappeared into a Shunshin, making my way to no location in particular.

/////////////////////

Kakashi finally got to the Academy after walking around and messing with his prospective students. He'd visited the memorial earlier, but had a great deal of time to drag out before he was supposed to greet them.

He used his tried and tested route across the Road of Life and got lost on it, getting a sense of Deja Vu with every couple steps, only to forget where he was. Pakkun and the rest of his dogs helped with the black cat.

Naruto looked like he was going to have a stroke the first time he saw the road sign. He snickered to himself.

Anytime he'd have a mission that was lower than A-rank, he'd show up hours late. ANBU missions, when he was still part of the group, were ones where he was always punctual. Testing Academy students, and normally failing them, was a much loved pastime of his. The only students that age who understood the true strength of teamwork were Rin, Naruto, and Hinata.

Teamwork was what made Konoha the dominant military power in the Elemental Nations. Mid-tier Shinobi working together had a much greater chance of surviving conflict. Konoha nin may have had a slightly duller edge in self sufficiency when separated from their team, but 3 Konoha A-ranks working together as a team were far more dangerous than 3 A-ranks from Kumo, Suna, Iwa, or Kiri.

Teamwork makes us great.

Kumo and Iwa may have quantity, but Konoha had quality. Konoha had a similar number of S-ranks as the other major villages, but their B and A ranks could work together much better, and there were very few individuals capable of turning the tide of a war on their own.

Sensei was one, though.

Arriving at the Academy nearly 2 hours late, he made his way to where he could vaguely sense four people's signatures.

Opening the door, he witnessed a horrific sight.

He saw Gai in a green speedo, stretched horizontally on a turtle, the only article of clothing on his oiled frame was the speedo.

"Are you going to draw me like one of your youthful girls, Kakashi?" he gave a dazzling smile.

Kakashi felt bile rise in his throat, his eye twitching.

I'm going to kill you, Naruto.

Stalking towards him, he saw 'Gai's' smile grew even more. "Yes!" he shouted, "Show me your youth, Kakashi! Fill me with your flames of YOUTH!"

Kakashi blasted him with a concentrated application of lightning chakra. 'Gai' shouted in pain, before the Henge dispelled on him and the clone Henged as the turtle took the brunt of the shock, dispelling it in the process.

"The hell, Kakashi." Naruto growled out, "You didn't have to hit me that hard. You almost popped me."

I don't even get the benefit of killing the real one. Kakashi growled to himself.

"Where's the original?" He asked, more like demanded, "Where is Rin, Hinata, and Sasuke?"

"Rooftop to both answers." The clone said, a sly grin on his face. "Like the show, my youthful rival?"

Kakashi simply responded with chucking a kunai that the clone didn't bother trying to avoid.

Tomorrow's test will be a living hell for him. He thought angrily. I'm going to use The taijutsu technique.

Arriving on the rooftop, he saw the three he came for. Taking only one step forward, he felt a wire break.

Shit.

He noticed a tag hidden under a rock that was pulled off by his foot catching on the wire. The seal exploded green paint all over him, and he smelled something that made him want to strip naked and scrub the foul scent off of him.

Catnip.

He heard Rin laughing hysterically, Hinata was smiling, and Sasuke's lips twitched upwards.

The little red haired irritant was cackling like a damn fox at his predicament.

"Don't be late." Naruto managed to breathe out after trying to wheeze out a sentence.

Kakashi stalked towards him, paint dripping from his clothes. "You," he growled.

"Yes," Naruto grinned at him, "Me."

"I'm going to kill you." he said, his tone as cold as ice.

Naruto snorted and looked unrepentant.

"You know you love me." Naruto responded cheekily.

Kakashi looked at the other three, then to Naruto. "Keep out of the way." he bit out towards Naruto.

Kakashi then went through the same likes, dislikes, and goals talk he'd give all the time. He got what he expected. Rin liked her brother and wanted to be strong. Hinata loved her friends and family, and wanted to bring her clan together. Sasuke was as cold as he expected in his reply, wanting to kill his brother.

Not that I can fault him.

Kakashi was about to gesture for Naruto to add in his 2 cents, but Naruto shot him a grin.

A grin he did not like.

"You are dismissed, my servants." he said gruffly, looking towards the three.

What?

The three then dispelled.

I should never have taught him Kage bunshin. Kakashi growled to himself.

"You wasted my time talking to them." he said irritatedly.

"You wasted my time too." Naruto replied simply.

Kakashi just groaned at what had happened. "Where are they?" he asked.

"I Henged as you and did the whole 'Likes and Dislikes' talk. I actually played you very well," he said, "Even Rin and Hinata were convinced I was you."

Kakashi just looked at him with barely disguised irritation, with a small amount of pride as well.

He actually managed to copy the Copy Nin.

"I also set up the time for the test." Naruto added.

Oh great. he thought sarcastically.

Kakashi sighed. "What time?" he asked.

"Noon." Was Naruto's reply.

"Noon?" Kakashi asked, shocked at the time, "That's a bit late, don't you think?"

"And you weren't?" Naruto asked rhetorically.

Sensei, your son's going to send me to an early grave. He thought.

"Why the Gai joke again?" he asked, revulsion making it's way into his voice.

"I'd be repulsed at the thought of me having sweaty, naked fun time with my best friend." he said simply.

"Your two closest friends are female." Kakashi pointed out.

"And one is my sister." Naruto choked out, his face turning a shade of green. "Don't joke about that."

Checkmate.

"I like how you didn't dispute Hinata." Kakashi grinned.

I got him.

Naruto's face still showed disgust. "It's not like that." he said.

"You sure?" Kakashi asked, noting Naruto's discomfort, "I know first-hand that girls like geniuses." he waggled his eyebrows to embarrass the kid.

"This conversation is over." Naruto said flatly.

"No, let me finish." Kakashi wasn't going to relent, he needed to know something that he still second guessed. "You traced a penis on my face. Hyuga can see through clothes. I bet Hinata saw something she liked."

Naruto's face turned red. "T-that's not," he sputtered, "I didn't actually trace it."

Kakashi was relieved at that. He almost thought Naruto would actually have done it.

"What did you trace then?"

"Not my junk," he shouted, "I'm not a barbarian. Besides, I'm not a damn horse from the waist down. And don't make me think of what the Hyuga use their eyes for. It's creepy." he shuddered.

"Most boys your age would love to think a pretty girl finds them good looking enough to catch a peak."

"I'm not most." he deadpanned.

Kakashi normally didn't make jokes this in depth around students of his. Naruto happened to be an exception. Naruto understood every joke Anko and Kakashi made when they passed the time when Naruto and Rin were working on Jutsu. These were jokes that a twelve year old normally wouldn't understand the reference to.

He acts almost like Jiraiya.

Jiraiya was a pervert before he even seemed to hit puberty. Minato had told stories of how Jiraiya would regale his genin team with grand tales about the wonders of the fairer sex.

Probably why he seemed so kind and polite. He saw how much a lecher was disliked by the women.

Jiraiya was a true ladies man when he wanted to be, but normally didn't act like a gentleman because he probably found it so damn funny to play the part of a SUPER Pervert.

Kakashi read Icha Icha in public often because he'd be able to read his favorite choice of literature and get a rise out of people.

Him showing Naruto how to shit-talk and throw people off with crude jokes was a form of training in itself. People underestimated Jiraiya when they think he's just a pervert who writes smut to make money. A sarcastic kid and prankster would also be seen as less dangerous.

But Kakashi knew better. He'd seen Jiraiya and Minato do full speed spars. Even with the Hiraishin, Minato was still left short of breath, limping, and bruised from fighting his Sensei. Even though he did lose to his student almost every time, Jiraiya had made him work for every last advantage.

If I can get Naruto to seamlessy make joke, he'll have a second camouflage to his personality.

He couldn't do this with Rin and Hinata. The thought made him uncomfortable at making crude jokes to twelve year old girls. Anko was better at teaching girls how to taunt and throw people off their composure. He could do it with a mature twelve year old boy, but girls needed a different approach.

Maybe it's because I'm better at joking like guys do.

Naruto stared at Kakashi with annoyance. "Can we drop this?" He requested.

"Yeah." Kakashi answered, "But don't think I won't get you back for this." he gestured towards the paint all over him.

"You like the catnip?" Naruto grinned, "I thought I'd help you out. It'll do you good to attract all the pussy, given no woman wants to be around a pervert." he quipped.

Kakashi's eye twitched.

"Naruto," he said quietly, "Run."

Naruto prepped to dive off the roof, but before he did, he left a final parting shot. "I used Gai as the tracer." before the Clone dispelled.

"I hate Shadow clones." he growled. He's lying about tracing it.

The visuals still didn't help.

Still nearly overwhelmed by the reek of catnip, he summoned Pakkun and the rest of his ninken.

"Hey, Kakashi." Pakkun greeted him, before cringing at the smell, "Why do you smell like a cat shelter?"

"Naruto." Kakashi gritted out.

"Oh." was the reply, "Well, what do you need us for?" he asked.

"Keep the cats away from me, please." he requested.

"No prob, boss."

Pakkun saw Kakashi turn his back to head down to get to his house, only to spot something peculiar.

"Kakashi," he asked, "What's that on your back?"

Kakashi grabbed at his back and felt a piece of loose fabric. He balled it up and flung it off the roof when he saw what it was.

It was a green speedo.

////////////////////

"Ugh," Rin scowled as she tried to focus wind chakra into a kunai, flinging it at a tree.

The steel buried itself into the wood, but didn't pierce completely through it.

Rin resented, more than once, Naruto having two affinities that didn't mesh with hers. They were twins! Why couldn't they have the same so he could help her out?

Naruto was progressing faster than her, but at least she wasn't stagnating.

Looking around at the forest, she replayed the events of today.

Tomorrow was the test, Kakashi was a pervert, and Sasuke-.

Rin gritted her teeth and wiped her mouth again for the hundredth time.

Absolutely disgusting. The horror of Uchiha Sasuke being her first kiss still haunted her. The only way it could've possiblity been worse was if it was Naruto.

She shivered at the thought, banishing it to the confines of hell.

Focusing as much as she could, the blonde Uzumaki went through the needed hand seals and shaped wind chakra around her hands.

Futon: Juha Sho. (Beast Tearing Palm).

It was a jutsu she'd been working hard on for weeks to pull off. Naruto had several ranged water jutsu and she was trying to manage an area effect wind one that could cut.

Slashing her hand across her body downward, Rin felt herself get launched back a few feet and landed roughly on her back.

She caught a glimpse of blue and a howling sound, followed by a loud impact noise and a groan.

She pushed herself up right as a tree fell down, sliced clean in half.

"I did it." She said to herself, genuinely surprised.

I did it. She realized, seeing how the tree was torn in half.

"I did it!" She whooped, jumping in the air and throwing up a fist in triumph.

"Beat that, Naruto." She laughed, ecstatic that she finally pulled it off.

Sure, she got knocked to the ground and the wind wasn't stable enough to tear through several trees like it was described, but it actually worked.

Smiling brightly, Rin called today's training a success. She practically skipped back home, ready for tomorrow's test.

//////////////////

Sasuke drove a kunai into the wooden dummy, ducking an imaginary punch and flipping over the wood target, flinging another kunai at a target he nailed to a tree.

Before his feet even hit the ground, his hands were already in motion, forming hand seals.

Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu.

The fireball struck the disposable dummy, burning it to a crisp.

Without hesitation, Sasuke bolted towards a separate target, sliding under it and using the momentum to twist and fling ninja wire to ensnare it.

With a jerk, the wood board was pulled to the ground and he was back to his feet, flicking three shuriken into his hand, the weapons flying from his fingers to hit three other targets.

All three hit the center.

The alarm he set then dinged, bringing an end to the exercise.

Sucking in deep breaths, Sasuke pushed his damp hair back, putting his hands behind his head to breath easier.

He was two seconds faster this time around. It took three minutes and thirty eight seconds last time, but he could do even better.

Sasuke finished catching his breath and decided to go again.

He needed to get his mind off of his Jonin Sensei being a nightmare for him. He needed a serious and competent teacher, not a lazy pervert like Hatake Kakashi.

And the other thing plaguing him didn't help.

Stupid book. He growled to himself, flinging a shuriken at the bell to trip it again.

Uzumaki Rin was the most insufferable female he ever had the displeasure of knowing. Loud, opinionated, and extremely violent were the main traits of her.

Stupid blonde. He growled internally, running through the proper motions of his training drill.

Within seconds, Sasuke knew he wasn't going to break the time, but he still kept running through the katas and target practice.

Once he finished and was wobbling from fatigue, he saw he had lost thirty seconds.

Sasuke's flung a shuriken at a target angrily, not even hitting it.

"Damnit." He pulled his shirt off, walking back to his house that was a short distance from where he was training.

He got inside and tossed the damp article of clothing to the corner and hopped into the shower, turning it on to clean up.

After finishing washing the sweat and wear of the day, Sasuke stepped out and put on fresh clothes, going to his kitchen to fix supper.

The silence of the next couple hours was normal for Sasuke. He fixed the food in silence, ate it in silence, being totally alone, and washed the plate in silence.

Just like any other day, Sasuke went to sleep, not finding proper rest since the night four years ago.