Chapter 38 - Across the expanse (9)

I didn't know exactly how many hours had passed since the previous night, but once the howling winds and the rocking of the wagon had subsided, signalling the end of the storm, and I had unlocked the latch and opened the door, I could see the high sun of late morning shining its rays over the world.

The surrounding environment was completely desolate, with scattered debris everywhere and a dilapidated soil, crossed by a web of shallow trenches. The erosion of the elements would eventually restore the environment, at least partially, but it would require a long time and for the foreseeable future this ruined landscape would be the one to welcome passerbys. The Obsidian Path showed no sign of damage, proving its characteristic imperviety to mana.

Before exiting the wagon I rummaged through the crates and found a change of clothes, as the one I had been wearing the previous night had been almost completely destroyed. I grabbed something to eat from another crate and stuffed it into my mouth without even paying attention to what it was. I donned a new set of tight clothing, as it was the first thing I found, I stepped out of the wagon and closed the manatight door behind me without locking it.

The exterior walls were visibly damaged. The shiny metal had become opaque, a plethora of scratches had been left behind by the corrosion and erosion of the wind, and entire sections of the outer surface showed signs of being ready to come off, or already had. Thin metal sheets and cerulean dust surrounded the wheels deformed by material removal. The hub assembly had seemingly been welded in some points to the primary structure. Pulling the wagon would be more challenging than the previous days.

I circled around the wagon and sat onto the protruding platform with my back resting on the outer walls, waiting for Faye to wake up. She would find herself in the dark, but she should be able to find and open the door by feeling around the inside of the wagon. I could have remained with her, but considering the state she and her clothes were in, I imagined she could find herself uncomfortable.

I didn't need to wait for long to start to hear vibrations traversing the walls of the carriage. Soon enough, I heard the rear door open and a small squeal of surprise emerging from Faye's mouth. After listening to the sound of rummaging around, I heard the door getting closed and locked from the outside. Finally, Faye's face peeped out from behind the right side of the wagon and she timidly came to sit next to me, wearing a loose shirt and trousers, fastened against her body by a repurposed string.

<<John…>>, she tried to open her mouth, but I immediately cut her off.

<<We are going back>>, I spoke with a monotonous but assertive tone.

<<What?! No!>>, she exclaimed.

<<I'm still too weak to take responsibility for both of us. Back at the Gamma you'll be safer>>

<<I can't go back!>>

I simply stared at her. I needed an explanation.

Faye gathered her legs in her arms and bent her neck forward, hiding her face from sight. After some time, she turned to look towards me, allowing me to look into her eyes. They betrayed sadness and pain. She finally raised her head and while looking at me at point blank, she opened her mouth.

<<For as long as I can remember, I've lived while lying to everyone around me. Do you remember the first time we met? You talked about my "genetic memory". Well, calling them "memories'' may be an overstatement, still… Since I was a baby, I knew I had to keep myself hidden.

Fear has always been my companion and it has never abandoned me. I woke up every day looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself, "Nobody can know what you are. If you are discovered, you are dead. Don't let anybody know". It's a funny thing, it really is: I inherited these "memories" from my mother, but the most crystal clear of them is the absolute hate and despise that members of another species felt for her>>

Faye stopped for a moment to hide her face once again and then she resumed speaking.

<<But then you appeared. A newborn arch with barely any memory of itself, but who for some reasons knew things nobody could envision. When I read the message you had sent, I felt my blood freeze. I ran to confront you, putting on a mask of bravado I did not possess, and which shattered immediately. But then you spoke your mind and told me what you wanted from me.

The first thought that went through my head was: "This guy is a moron". But the second one was: "He doesn't hate me". That moment changed everything. There, in front of me, was a person who didn't mind what I was and moreover was looking just at me, the real me. I didn't care if he had a few wheels out of place or if he just wanted to make use of my alleged intellect. I would follow him anywhere>>

She stared at me with a frown.

<<Then you spoke some more and I regained my bearings. I was certain you were an idiot, but I told myself "F**k it, I've nothing to lose", and the rest is history>>.

<<You've yet to explain why I shouldn't bring you back>>, I intervened.

Faye spent a moment gathering her thoughts.

<<Before we left, while you were fighting for the role of representative… I thought "If he can accept me, maybe others can too". So, full of foolish hope I…>>

<<You revealed yourself to someone. Who is it?>>, I said with a stern look.

Tears started to fall from her eyes.

<<My grandfather. I called him and told him who I really am. He raised me since I was an infant, his eyes were always full of love when he looked at him. He always told me I was his pride and joy. But the moment I finished telling him, in his voice there was only disgust.>>

Her voice became choked.

<<He said to stop joking. That if such bullshit were true, he would make sure to be the one to personally cut my throat.>>

Only her silent tears and the faint beating of her heart could be heard in the still air.

<<I don't want to go back. I don't want to live a lie. The true "Faye Deveraux" has no one else, except for you. Please, don't leave me alone>>, she begged.