Welcome to my life or Mind?

I was at school playing with my phone. It was 2 weeks after school have started, and it didn't go as well as I was expecting it to be.

"Marquez, Aranea Vien," my teacher called me for attendance -in the middle of me, convincing myself that it will be okay as I have rehearsed in my mind in the last few minutes how to say 'present' without stuttering.

"Present," I responded, and I went straight to overthinking about what I should do if I messed up saying that in a number of different ways.

People may think that I am ace-ing my academic journey; people may think I have a wonderful life; people may think I can handle things excellently; but I hope they will still ask me if I'm okay when they see wounds in my wrist or when my eyes are not smiling with how I smile on my lips. In desperation, I try to find a way to escape my anxious mind and comfort myself. I find it through art. At least when I am drawing a scene or painting landscapes, I have my characters with me. I find peace through the landscapes. With my art, I am not alone. I draw or paint what I need or feel, and that is my salvation.