CH 35 - Nica's Regrets

As Nica follows behind the youthful memories, she feels a dull emptiness within her chest. A thousand small promises echo as she listens to herself talk to her sister.

Promises that they would always be together and she would never abandon her. That they were united in both life and death.

There is a measure of overwhelming sorrow that seeps into her mind. A feeling of loss as if she hears because Zoe is dead? Did her retreat from her father leave her sister vulnerable?

She listened to the screams; why didn't she return to protect her? Why did she cower from her responsibilities? She abandoned her sister at the moment she needed her most. Is this why she is here, to face the same horrors? Or worse, is she hear to hear her promises and then eventually see her sister's death?

"Why did you run?" The sad voice asks.

"What?" Nica turns on her heels, looking into the darkness.

"Why did you run? Why abandon her?"

"I... I didn't abandon her."

"You ran... she was being attacked. She cried for you, and you did nothing."

Nica turns on her heels, throwing her hands up to defend herself, but there is nothing. Even as the moon's light falls through the ceiling light, she cannot see anyone except a young woman walking towards her.

"Why did you leave me?" An almost transparent form of Zoe walks forward.

"I didn't mean to."

"But you did, didn't you?"

Nica nods her head as tears slip from her eyes. She left and did it for her faith, but if she could do it again, she would do it differently. She would rescue her sister; she would go back. "I am sorry..."

"I died; I lost everything, everything you did for me. I lost my innocence, my faith, I lost it all...." the spirit begins to weep as Nica's heart breaks openly.

"If I could take it back, I would. I swear. I went back and saved you!"

"That was just a vision, and you did it when he couldn't hurt you. When it was hurting... where were you?" The spirit says as it slowly fades from view.

"Please, I will do anything. Please let me save her... she didn't die. Please tell me I didn't kill her!!"

Nica collapses to the floor as her tears fall readily to the floor. She is... she isn't sure what she is. There is a heaviness that engulfs her heart and soul. She can't help but feel the absence of her sister. Running her fingertips in the dirt, she begins to sing a soft melody that her mother used to sing to them as children.

There is another set of footsteps walking behind her. None of this is true. There is no reason to look up or have faith any longer. There is only turmoil, pain, and suffering. This is a hall of mirrors where nothing is real.

Fingertips reach out and run through her hair. A familiar yet distant voice speaks, "I miss you..."

Turning her head into the hand, she sighs, keeping her eyes closed, "Who is it?"

"It's your father..." the familiar voice comes into focus as Nica wretches and hurries away from him. Her heartbeat rings in her ears as the pace quickens at his touch. Her body wretches as she struggles to find her peace.

"Wh...what....what are you doing here?" Nica begs.

"I am here to take you up on your offer. You offered to go in her place. I promise to release Zoe if you come with me now. She is tied to the bed, awaiting my return...." His words are calm yet disturbing.

"No, I can't... I don't believe you."

"Why don't you believe me? You know your mother would approve."

"Please.... please wake up." Nica cries as she pulls her legs up to her chest.

"Don't worry, it will only hurt for a little while, but it will feel nice."

"NO!" Nica cries, clinging to her legs, "I will find her; I will protect her."

"Come here; I will take away all your nightmares...."

"Cruel..." a low growl escapes the lips of an unknown entity. "That is cruel, Ezra.... send this spirit away."

As the dark spirit moves forward, Nica's father looks up, "Do you speak for the child now?"

"I will not ask again..." Caesar says as his skin cackles with fire that moves up and down across his arm.

"You don't know who you are challenging, boy."

"I know exactly what you are... you are the creature who taunts your creations. You are the monster who unleashed the darkness on the world, and you are the demonic stench in my veins."

Laughter booms across the darkness, shaking the ground beneath Nica's feet... "You want her that bad? A creature meant to be bred by the Gods you refused to kill."

"I refused to be your puppet. I refused my fate, but I no longer. Cease this constant torment and let her go..."

"I will let her go if you pass one final test, son..." as the spirit vanishes and the

Caesar breathes deeply as he stares into the darkness waiting for the trick. Waiting for the demonic to appear and challenge him. The depth of his night goes through his body as he struggles to suppress his rage. His anger coursed through his veins as minuscule sparks of fire ran through his arms.

"You came for me?"

"I came to find you..." Caesar says as his dark black eyes glow softly in the night.

"To save me? I rejected your guidance, your discipline, and I rejected you."

"I came for me...."

"For you?"

"I can't keep letting my fears guide me. I need to face them head-on."

Nica nods her head as she curls up slowly. She wishes someone was there for her, to rescue her, to keep her safe. But then... if she was honest with herself, she never spoke to Caesar. How could he want to save her when he never has known her?

How could he want to be with her when she never gave him authority? How could he even want her when all she did was treated him like he was nothing?

She treated Caesar precisely as her father had always treated her. Like she was an afterthought and only was there to serve a purpose.

At this moment, with this disgusting realization, she wonders why he is here. Why save someone who wants nothing but the worst for you?