Men Are Always Men

    Ms Celine was quiet for some time, when she spoke up she sounded worried," I don't mean this to sound disrespectful,Jenny. But do you think Zain feels the same way about you? What if he ditch you again? I know I gave my consent but then men are always men, you can't change who they are"

  I sighed knowing that I had received a comment like this earlier.

  Come to think of it, Lizzy being here should say a lot but that was when Susan was driving him crazy.   The question now is, can I deal with who he is? will a time come when I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him?

  "But you love him and he loves you, that's all that matters"

My subconscious mind stated. Will love be enough?

   "Will his loving me be enough to make us work, will it make his life happy?

  I actually haven't thought about the whole thing thoroughly but if there is something I know, I love Zain and because of it, I will fight for us, no matter what.

  "Ms Celine, I know you are looking at for me but I think I am old enough to know what I want. Zain truly loves me. I know he ditched me before but he is not going to do that again, if he dares I will tie him to my destiny"

I chuckled at the end of the statement.

  "Alright dear. Like I said before, your happiness is my priority so I am with you if you are sure that this is what you want"

  She paused and looked at me, "Since you both are good now, don't think you think it's time to tell him?"

I sighed,

"I am not sure it is the right time. I am not sure how everyone is going to take it so I will wait for the right time"

   "It's fine then, when you are ready, I am ready too. By the way, the twins can't stop talking about their new school and asking after you too. They are asleep now, If you can video call later to say hi to them, it will be much appreciated."

  She said smiling. I smiled too and nodded.

  "Okay, I will call back later then. Let me leave you now"

I made to end the call but stopped,

"You are the best"

I muttered and ended the call.

  The enthusiasm had put on calling Celine had died with the call. I was feeling scared and sad right now

  What if Zain ditch me again? I love him, yes but I was suddenly not sure.

    "I stared at the ring, may you be my consolation"

I mumbled and stripped off the shirt from my body.

  I stepped into the tub and settled on it. The water helped calm me a little bit.

When the water reached to the top of my chest I sat upright in the tub and took my necklace off my neck and placed it next to me on the towel. It was still intact and beautiful.

   I leaned forward and touched the diamonds on my necklace. I removed my ring too. The necklace and the ring looked like they are pairs.

  Zain got this necklace for me on my fifteenth birthday and I had wore it since then.

  It reminds me so much of the love I once shared with Zain. How beautiful it was then.

  A minor who was head over heels in love with her gorgeous boyfriend. The one who took her innocence and showed her world of pleasure. The girl who defied her Mama's order and ate the forbidden fruit at the early stage of her life, that girl is me, Jenny.

  There is much I have become, keeping the whole affair a secret and keeping my mistakes a secret plus watching my sister get married to the man who had promised me the world have been the biggest things I have done in my life.

     I wiped my tears away and turned the faucet of the shower to get cold. The cold water would help me relax. I needed to get out of my thoughts.

While sitting there in the freezing water, trying not to cry, I couldn't get the image of Zain telling me it is over out of my head.

  I am supposed to be happy that I got what I wanted but here I am feeling miserable instead.

  As if it wasn't hard enough, I was also facing a decision about my engagement, I now had to add this to the list of trouble I am having. I had never thought of such problems as I do now.

I felt frustrated. I tried to push these doubts aside and concentrate in the present moment.

     Somehow, I have to be happy. Dwelling in the past has never be an option if you want happiness.

  "Jenny, you have got this. You deserve everything good. Don't let doubt and indecision take a way the joy of the moment. keep aside your worries and let yourself flow with the moment"

I reminded myself.