20

I haven't spoken to Barry. We ran into each other at star labs every now and then, but we didn't talk. I was too afraid to talk to him, and I have a very strong feeling he didn't want to talk to me.

Iris was with me every other night, either comforting me, helping me with an article, or trying to encourage me to call Barry. Linda was finally out the picture, which gave me some sort of comfort.

I couldn't deny that I was stressed, and upset. I was lashing out on everyone. I was so caught up in my articles, or what I would tell Barry once I got him to talk to me, that I would forget to eat. I'd eat a little whenever Iris was around, to make sure she didn't worry, but I wasn't doing good. I really wasn't.

I stood up, changing into a pair of jeans, tucking in a plain white long sleeve shirt into it. I stumble slightly, feeling a little lightheaded, but drank some water and ignored it. I slipped on my boots and leave my apartment, driving to star labs.

I walk inside and into the cortex, immediately noticing Cisco, Caitlin and Barry. Barry kept glancing at me as I walked in, Caitlin was out of it, and Cisco was doing something on his computer.

"Is there a new meta?" I say quietly, that being as loud as my voice can go, standing next to Caitlin. "Mhm. One that's been watching us every single day. Since we all stepped into this laboratory." Caitlin speaks, staring at nothing.

"Who are we talking about here?" I put a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Dr. Harrison Wells." Cisco says, shaking his head as he does, a small huff leaving his lips. I open my mouth to question, but Barry cuts me off. This being the first time I've heard his voice in a few days. Him even speaking to me was leaving me in shock. "Harrison Wells is the Reverse Flash."

"I- what?" I say, stepping back, stumbling slightly, feeling my head get lighter every moment. Cisco spoke, but I couldn't make out why he was saying.

"Zee? Are you okay?" Barry steps closer to me, his voice muffled. I feel myself shift my weight off my feet, causing me to free fall to the ground, hitting the ground. I hear footsteps rush over to me, and a few shouts of my name, but everything went black.

-

I heard a few distant muffled voices, as I start to wake up. I hesitated before I slowly opened my eyes, my vision blurry from how bright the room was. A small grunt leaves my lips, as my hand goes to my head, a headache existing. I blink a few times, getting used to the light before my vision settles in, causing me to sit up and look around. Barry makes his way over to me right when he sees me move. Caitlin and Cisco quickly make their way out of the room. I got up, reaching for the pain killers but Barry stopped me. "You shouldn't be up-"

"I'm just grabbing the pain killers." I say quietly before slipping out of his grip and grabbing the bottle of pills, popping two pills in my mouth and taking them. Barry sighs quietly, before crossing his arms.

I stay stood still, as I look at him, about to open my mouth to ask why he was here but he beats me to speaking. "Just because I'm upset with you, doesn't mean I don't care about you, Zee. Why haven't you been eating- the test results show how weak you are, and it's because of the lack of food you've been eating."

"I forget." is all I say, it being the only answer I can come up with right on the spot.

"You forget? You forget to eat. You're telling me, that you forgot. to eat. Something that is very needed in order for you to ."

Even though I knew he was only upset with me because he cared, I couldn't help but snap, "Well I'm sorry, that I'm not a speedster that needs 10,000 calories a day in order to prevent passing out."

"You're a ." He emphasized, then continued, "You need to eat in order to stay alive and well. You're acting like you don't care if anything happens to you. Why don't you actually give me a good reason for why you haven't been eating, Zee?"

"I'm not lying to you. I have literally forgotten  to eat or drink anything because of how- I guess- stressed I've been."

"Why have you been stressed? What is there to be stressed about?"

"! All I've been thinking about is how I was going to tell you about what happened. I tried so many ways to start a conversation but I was always left with nothing. And now you're suddenly talking to me, I-" I huff.

He goes silent, his hands shoved into his pocket. I crossed my arms, leaning back against a desk, staying silent until I could find the words to speak. "I was 10."

Barry's eyes quickly looked at me, his eyes widened, as he starts to try and stop me, "No- no- don't tell me- you can tell me when you're ready-" I cut him off, "I am, ready."

He goes silent as I continue to talk. "I didn't know much about what my dad did. I just knew he fought for the country then came home every once in a while. I didn't see him much, my mom was always there for me. Obviously I was closer to her. My brother and I were close. It's kind of- sad that everything fell apart." I mumble, uncrossing my arms, putting a stand of my sort of tangled hair behind my ear. "The night my father came home from his, well. work. I was in my room, awake past my bedtime, finishing the last touches of the coloring page I worked really hard on." I lightly laugh pathetically at myself, remembering that night perfectly. He stays silent, watching my every move.

"I was so excited to show it to her." My voice cracks lightly, biting down on my bottom lip trying to prevent tears to form in my eyes. "But I heard them arguing. I didn't know what was going on. I was definitely scared. But I decided to go downstairs." I paused. "I went downstairs, and my brother, Hunter. He was already down there. I was holding my coloring page. My mom was yelling for us to go back upstairs, but I decided to go and give her my coloring page. I ran over to her, and he ripped it out of my hands. He stared at it. Then ripped it. At the bottom of the page, there was a small drawing of my perfect family. Hunter, my mom and I."

I let out a breath and continue, "I started to cry, as he made Hunter stand next to me. My mom pulled me into her arms and held me while I cried. Then he shot her. While she was comforting me." A small tear slips as I speak, "After everything, my dad was sent to prison, Hunter and I both got sent to different foster homes. Mine was just- crap. Then I became friends with Iris. And you. Joe decided to come in every day, make sure I was okay. I didn't leave my room and always sneaked out. I was honestly a wreck. I was only happy when I was around you and Iris. Other than that, I always did really- bad things. Then after a huge talk with Joe, I decided to clean my act up. And now this is me." I sniffle, a few more tears falling.

Before I knew it, I was engulfed into his arms. I take in his scent, before letting out a shaky breath and hugging back as tight as I could, a few more tears falling. "I'm sorry for- everything. I'm happy I got to know the real you." Was all he said, as he held me while I cried.

I just cried and cried.