Prologue: It's time to leave(EDITED)

There are 2 guards right behind me sent by my dearest father wearing full clad silver armor with Fiore family crest in the middle of it. It might be hard to notice at first glance in the dark but if you look at them carefully they are tense and stiff ready to attack any minute, if I have to compare it to anything it would be like they are protecting war supplies. I can feel their glare on us while I can only imagine what's going on in their head. It must be him, because they have been looking at him an awful lot than they have been looking at anything else. I don't know the particulars of the orders they received but it's relieving that they are not attacking him straight away. It must be because they are intimidated by him. Asher is a well build muscular man with bright yellow hair going up to his shoulders and scars over his arms spiraling around to end who knows where on his back, some of scars I recognize are from monsters but some are definitely from human weapons, though I don't know the backstory behind it, I assume it's common among adventurers to fight among themselves and I don't think much of it. Though I am glad that no scar could work up their way to his beautiful face at first glace his face and manner of speech resembles that of a noble, but he is most definitely an adventurer. I have known him for almost a year now and he doesn't talk about his past much not before the adventurer life, it's not that we meet very often or anything. I am a busy noble woman and he occasionally comes to our territory to dispatch monsters on guilds request. He hasn't proposed to me yet, I imagine he is holding back for reasons more important than his love for me or maybe he thinks that I wouldn't agree because I am a noble woman. Earlier I would have hoped he would but not anymore. I hold him dear though I can't be with him anymore. It's not that I don't want to and It's not my father either though it would have taken some convincing to do. Nobles daughters are meant to marry into families with status or power, or both. Being a daughter of Fiore family I was meant with the same fate. My father never brought this up himself to me but I know it. I once overheard him talking to my mother:

"I've been getting a lot of marriage proposals for Esme, I recently got one from Zenith Duchy's first young master. Apparently he saw her in a ball they held last year and has been asking for her since. It's a Dukedom you know and it's not even the second or third young master, it's the first. The heir." said my father in an exciting voice emphasizing the Dukedom and heir part. He sounded like he was talking about a great deal.

My mother frowned but said nothing looking him in the eyes.

"I don't want to go against her wishes. I would let her marry anyone but..."he trailed off. 

"But what"

"He must have my approval. I must know he can make her happy. And love is not the only thing that's needed for it. He must be able to protect her. Have at least enough money and status. I don't want her life to be hard. I can let her marry a small noble or a strong adventurer but I can't let her marry a poor peasant or a weakling. I" just...don't want her life to be hard." He sighed and looked at the floor.

My mother moved beside him and put a gentle hand on his back and stroked his back lightly in a comforting way.

"I wonder who will be the lucky person that will take our daughter, I am excited for her marriage." said my mother with a smile.

Then they made eye contact and laughed and hugged. A grin spreading on my face from where I was standing along the doorway. I know it's not very noble like to eavesdrop but I just happened to be close by and they just happened to be talking about me. That was around an year ago. I mused looking at the sky. We are sitting on the ledge of a stone bridge over a thin river that flows beneath. The stone is cold beneath my hands that I rest on either side of me. I am wearing my favorite white gown tonight which just happened to be the one I was wearing when Asher saw me for the first time. It's nightfall but there still plenty of time till midnight. The buildings behind us are bustling. The night moon is shining so vibrantly today it feels like full moon. And that same is reflecting in the slowly moving river. It's waves like a swing slowly moving up and down. Thus, the reflection of the moon stretches reaching close to our feet. Besides the white it's all black both the sky and the water. It is the harmony between the two that makes this view stunning to look at. Their colors blending so well together yet not crossing their boundaries at the same time. They are so different yet so compatible...just like us. We are so different with completely different kind of upbringing. But we are also so close to each other and understand each other. And we like each other at least I do and I hope somewhere that he does too though I think it's cruel for me to want that considering what I am here to tell him.

"Esme what are you thinking? he said looking at me.

"It's nothing, just thinking about the past" I said a bit surprised by the sudden question.

"Was it a good one or bad one?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"A good one." I said smiling.

"I see. It always helpful to remember the good times, helps us fight the bad ones when the time comes." he said making a gesture with his hands.

We looked at each other and then he started talking again.

" When I was dispatched with a 4 member party to slay a herd of ogres, it wasn't easy but wasn't something too difficult but then...a twin headed ogre showed up. Bigger and stronger he was probably leading the pack. It was an A-class monster, you know. Two of our members died and I would have too if seeing you in the castle wasn't keeping me going. That was around 8 months ago." he smiled at me.

He is talking about the second time we ever met. I feel unconscious as soon as he reached town. They said the quest was more difficult than assessed. My father even sent a written apology to adventurer guild for our wrong assessment. To think it was so dangerous. I look at him and he is looking in the water, the floating moonlight perhaps.

To think he had me in mind while he was escaping a dangerous situation, taking this chance I blush when he is looking away still thinking about what he just said I can see a grin spreading across my face and then it suddenly disappears. I look at him thinking how am I gonna approach this.

"Isn't it beautiful tonight" he said gesturing with his arms in front and looking from the moon above to the moon reflecting in the river.

"Yeah it's a great view" I said following his gaze.

A light cold wind blew moving my hair.

"Asher, I need to tell you something." I said with a stumbling voice biting my bottom lip.

"What is it?" he asked pulling the hair from my face aside brought by the recent wind.

God, he is so sweet. I look at him. He looks worried. He must be worried what I must say.

"I am getting engaged" I said in a shaky voice.

"What?" he is looked at me with wide eyes.

"How? Do you like someone. Are you being forced"

"I...am getting engaged to the crown prince" I said looking down. I knew it was going to be hard. But it must be done lest I hurt us both. As much as I hate to admit it I have no choice. I have never talked to him personally and he suddenly sends a marriage proposal to my family. From what I have heard of him he is a witty and intelligent but also cruel and a greedy man. He will do whatever he takes to get what he wants. While it is said that he has a conquering nature though whispers suggest it to be more of an obsession. I can't not marry him lest they threaten me. My family can't stand up to them and neither... can Asher. 

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He still looks shocked. I have never seen such an expression on his face before. He has always been the strong and reliable type. I don't even know what's going on in his head. Maybe he thinks that I betrayed him? Maybe he thinks that I didn't love him? Or maybe he already understands everything and knows that I am not getting engaged by choice, but compulsion. What should I say to make him feel better. What can I say so that this beautiful moment doesn't doesn't turn into a miserable memory. We were just talking about it and he said that he will think about me to overcome sad moments. Then what will he think when he thinks of me? Will I become a hurtful memory for him? Will he hate me? What can I do to make it so that he can forgive and forget me. 

I look at him and...

He looks...confused, shocked, hurt.

We lock eyes and every thought goes blank. I can't possibly say anything to make him feel better. He is hurt...because of me. His eyes are red around the edges he must feel like crying though I can't blame him. I was the one who said It and I am in a much worse condition. 

My tears start to fall not being surprised at myself, I look away. 

He asked me a question and I still haven't answered it yet. Am I being forced, no. Do I like someone, yes...it's you. But what will I say change now, what I said has hurt him and only I am responsible for it neither my family nor the prince and nor Asher who hasn't yet proposed to me. He was just taking things slowly. My father doesn't want this marriage either. And he can sense I am unwilling too though I don't doubt that many women will jump at this opportunity. It's not me, I already have someone and I love him. Asher...I love him.

"It's time we take our leave my lady, it's already late." He said in a louder than normal voice for what was expected of him. He might have sensed the atmosphere.

"I guess it's time for me to take my leave, it was a pleasure knowing you...Asher" surprising myself at what am I saying. I should be explaining to him why I am leaving, what's the reason. He looks so sad and...broken.

I look at him with an expectant gaze, I don't know what I am expecting. But he doesn't make eye contact. He is looking down with his back hunched. He is looking into the water which just a moment ago seemed so beautiful to both of us. But I sense he is not even looking there, it's beyond. He is looking at nothing, he is zoning out.

This might be for the best I guess. He must think I betrayed him though he is not wrong in a sense but if he thinks it to be the whole truth I don't intent to change it. This way he won't compare himself with the crown prince not that there is any comparison to begin with. Asher is the best man I could ever hope for. He is strong, reliable, kind and trustworthy and most of all he treats me right. Though many people like me and flatter me but Asher treats me with decency and compassion.

I stand up from the ledge and start to leave while I look back one last time at the back of the man who I feel in love with and whom I am leaving so coldly. I expect him to look back but he doesn't still looking at nothing, staring at nothing. The back that I always associated with strength and reliability looks so weak and...vulnerable.

The wind blows and I walk away...