Thirty First Chapter

Since John arrived in New York, this is the 1st day he got no chauffeur in the person of Bruno.

(Spoiled noble brat! Chauffeur? Just a driver.)

Absent is the smiling John, now, he is squinting and much like all villains in epics and tragedies, he mumbles.

Mumbling about how to disembowel and torture a demon.

"Torture item number one..." Steps below the Holy Trinity Church, he looks at Jesus on the cross.

"Doesn't he get tired just hanging there? He got no cloths on too, dont he get cold? Sigh. Questions i dont get an answer...my Go...no...no more mention of the absentee father...he might smite me." John dont want to mention God with big G and god with small g cause if he is in Supes world, God or god is chilling on Earth.

After his blasphemous remarks on poor Jesus that was killed by his own kind, Jews. Yeah, facts.

(To all the Jews, if you get offended, sorry but really not sorry. You freaking crucified the son of God or god. Dude....that's like top top top douchebag attitude. Now back to the story. Please don't cancel or bombed me. Ps. I am not anti-semetic, i'm anti douchebags.)

"Hello, young man, what can i help you with?" A sister welcomed John as he enters the church, she is sweeping the floor. Wonder if she and Jesus did the thing last night. You know..... (hahahaha)

"Sister, looking good. How much? 1 pop and unli pop?" This what John thought, just a fleeting thought. He would have said this in alternate universe, thank go..sorry, he cant enter chat right now. So much crap the author saying. Back to story guys and girls and everything in between. Haha

"Sister, can i have a holy water?" John nicely said. Even he got murderous thoughts, he still try to be nice.

Police 101, be nice. Nah, not even police, just a human, pro tip, be nice.

"Yes. We have. Why?" The sister enthusiastic still.

"Sister, can i have some?"

"Yeah. Its good that you ask this first thing in the morning. Or i might have used it to water the plants, wash the dishes, sometimes wash the peepee." The sister in her 40s winking at John.

"Say what??????" John just got spider sense, hairs stood up. Hahahahaha

Eventually, with his masterful communicative skills, he successfully acquired Torture Item #1 without causing adultery, not his adultery but the sister's, she freakin married jesus.

(This what happens when you got imaginary husband or boyfriend, you got nuts for nuts. If you know what i mean.)

"Lets go find Torture Item #2." John mumbles.

"Fuck! Forget it! Let's kill some demon....and little bit torture. Mary is waiting!"

He looks to the right and left. Saw an alley where theres a mountain of garbage.

"Luckily no cctv in 1912." John comments.

"Hey, if Superman gets his get up change inside a telephone booth. Where is mine? If i do this in an alley? Its like im Spiderman. Where...think....garbage damps..i can transform in garbage damps...cause the author got the spelling of damps and is a garbage author." Shaking his head, dismayed by the author Boy_George why he hasn't ramped up the updates today. Oh, well, that's life, its always not up to us. "Shitty author." John spits at the garbage.

"In brightest day, in blackest night,

No evil shall escape my sight.

Let those who worship evil's might,

Beware my power...

Green Lantern's Light!"

Dang dang dang dannggg dannnnggg dannnnggggg dannng.

BGM sounded.

Swah!

Swesssh!

Swish!

Swossh!

Swussssh!

The alley lit up in green light.

Let's pretend there are no people in New York in the morning where he can freely change his fit and make weird green lights in green tight.

"Oh hell, i look like Reynold Ryans...look at my 9 packs. Weeew...and my junk...hahaha. garbage..junk...im gifted."

"Mary! Wait for me!" John's feet or foot, whatever, slowly hovers, defying gravity.

"Up up and away! Look! Its a bird. Its a plane. Its...its...." when he gone to 10 meters above ground. He looks down, his head spins. Pupils dilated.

"Uwaaakkk!!!!" He vomits mid air.

John standing in the middle of the alley. Doubting life.

He tried flying 6 times and all 6 times, he fed the rats in New York.

For the first time in history, he flies, surprisingly, he discovered he is afraid of heights.

"Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Whaaaad da fukkkk!!!!!!!!!!!" He screams his lungs out.

"I have to All Fiction this or else the readers will complain again to the author if he doesn't!!!!"

"No! No! No! I can do this. I must do this. This is my original story. My original arch rival, heights! I must defeat it myself. Not rely on All Fiction! Hell yeah! Try again."

5 seconds later.

"Uwaaaaakkk!!!!" He vomits again.

45 seconds later.

A shame to all super powers started asking questions how to get to 39th street, Brooklyn.

"Fackk! Im a disgrace! Ahhhhh!!!!!!"

"Afraid of heights! Im afraid of heights!!!! Fucking demon!!!! Change of plans....ill fuckin torture you!!!! Ahhh!!"

John hates himself. Loathes even.