have a Body and a Mind

This happens, but it just happens. I don't know how to say it. But this body, it's not mine.

I feel pain, I can talk, I can do things. But it doesn't feel like I do it, it feels when I control it, I feel my body, but more, my mind.

My mind drowns the automation of my body, that automation that connects my body in a sole creature with my mind.

That mind, that mind of mine, is awake, but I feel my body sleeping. So this collision doesn't feel natural within me.

But then it happens, I do things I don't feel. I scratch my nose when thinking of my body, but don't feel an itch in my nose.

This feels like I was visiting the body of other people, sometimes, I'm a passenger, sometimes I can't come back. Not because I don't want to, the body keeps me captured.

When my mind is awake, I feel emotions and everything passing vividly through my consciousness and all. But, My body.

IT DOESN'T RESPOND TO THOSE EMOTIONS.

I hear screaming from children and it makes me feel distraught, but my body, MY BODY. does not cover their eras, doesn't go away. But, MY MIND wants to escape, it doesn't want to be there, it wants to run and be in tranquility. In peace.

This body sometimes cooperates with my mind, but it doesn't feel like they are together in one, my brain has ideas, and my body does what it wants and it chooses to hear my mind.

My body focuses in a place with their eyes, but my mind, if it chooses to see. It only sees the blurry parts. Because, MY BODY is occupying the space of the focus, and MY MIND only can use the residue of what my vision is.

When I write my body is in control, and only does what my mind tells, but when I draw. Is the only moment my mind can take that grasp of control over the body, it's the only time I'm me, and not a passenger. But, something changed recently. My body draws, it draws with little effort, it feels like my hand has wings and the lines pass through the paper. This body is not mine.

But something feels off recently, IT FEELS horrible, MY BODY is taking MY MIND for the first time. Its trying to shut down this loud mind that speaks and speaks and speaks without stopping, but this body, has only one thing it can't control, and it's their mouth, the mind speaks and the mouth follows, and that anger the body, the body tries to shut the mouth, it takes that the minds doesn't have a voice anymore, but that's something the mind doesn't have present, the mind doesn't know this control, it ignores it, because, all the time that mind speaks, it speaks through the mouth, and the body is the one to hear it and is the mind that hears the echo through the ears.

My body will try many thing s to shut my mind, feel it with food, make it dry, make objects enter, or try to speak over the mind but only puny sounds get out, but when the mind speaks, it only whispers, and that doesn't satisfy the body, the body wants to be loud but the mind feels it and its scared.

I don't know why I want to explain it right now, but the body and mind are at war to get what's written.

That said, The mind felt jealous of the body, because someone hugged the body, the body kept the warmth of the hug while the mind just analyzed everything that was making contact, then the hugger asked a question about what it thinks the body and mind are doing. But this time, the mind knew it was speaking, and it was so scared, that it only repeated three things to all the questions: YES, NO and ok.

But when the questions keep happening, the hugger knew something was wrong, so the mind, begging crying, and the body, that always receives the warmth, it was just cold, and tried to stop from the eyes watering, but when the mind finally think it could control the body and make the body cry, THE BODY, just shut the door between the hugger and them. Today, both are losing, no one is going anywhere, and they are hating each other more as the days pass. THE MIND has gone to a corner, and now the body feels empty. As the mind and body stopped writing, the only thing left to type was the soul with no purpose beyond being between the Body and Mind.