chapter 4 the spider experiment

Looking at a jar full of insects I feel

something indescribable as they kill each other.

It is impossible for me to understand what this unfamiliar feeling is.

It has never been there before it is a feeling as if I am seeing something interesting something so captivating that I can't help but put my whole attention onto it.

Watching these creatures fight fills me with this unknown feeling that I promptly snapped out of because there was only one spider left.

Now with my dad gone my experimentation will begin.

Carefully extracting the spider, I take a 2nd to observe its albino body, It is quite unique as most spiders are black to camouflage, but this spider is all white, stopping my observations I promptly use my enchantment ability to give it one thing that all animals crave its intelligence.

As soon as I enchant this living being, my energy quickly Drained from my body, it's as if I have not slept for two days I feel so drowsy that I promptly pass out on the floor.

My consciousness awaken in a avoid like World, all I see I can see is darkness.

Looking around, I feel no panic in fact, I feel nothing at all, It's as if my emotions are drained for my body.

Then I hear a monotone voice call out to me.

Suddenly the world around me, distort into a memory that isn't my own.

Looking around once more, I see a bedroom with a black haired girl, sitting in front of the TV playing some sort of video game I don't recognise.

Then she began to speak to me In a monotone voice.

The same monotone voice that I heard in the darkness.

Do you feel empathy?

The black hair girl ask me.

Well, of course you do.

She responds as if she wasn't talking to me.

It seems like she's talking to herself more than anything.

I try to speak, but it seemed like I couldn't do anything in this dream, but watch, I could only listen as she monologues on.

What if I told you? you weren't supposed to feel empathy?

What if I told you that feeling empathy at all is an anathema to your very nature.

Of course, you wouldn't believe me, you've been taught your whole life that hurting others, lashing out or killing is a bad thing.

You should feel empathy towards others.

You may want to deny me, you may want to never believe that you could be such a terrible person.

Well I'm here to prove you wrong In fact, you've already felt what it's like to be a bad person.

That feeling you felt before watching those creatures die, it was pleasure.

You may also think that having this sense of justice or empathy is a good thing.

But look at your friend Emma she betrayed you and look what she got everything you ever wanted.

Looking at the black hair girl in disbelief, I didn't know if this was my inner psyche, my mental projection, or whatever this was all I know in the deepest corners of my heart, I want to deny it.

But in side, I know in the deepest corner of my mind that she's right that, I am in fact a monster, but I'll never admit it, because if I do, they'll be no turning back.

I was snapped out of my disbelief by a flood of unfamiliar memories of boredom and sadism.

Diving into one brightest memories of these memories, I see a white haired girl.