Capture the exact image

"Hi!" I murmured while stifling a sob. The silence in the other line only made me uneasy. The guilt was eating at me. I could tell him the truth. What good would that do in our situation? I had been dodging his call the whole afternoon, but I could not avoid him anymore.

The truth will set you free was easy said than done. If I did that, I would be hurting a good man who truly cared about me. I did not want to do that unless I was very sure of what I was feeling.

"Are you crying?" He finally asked, laced with so much concern. Suddenly, I want him to be here. To comfort me and assured me that everything was going to be alright.

"No. Something just caught in my throat." I knew it was a lame excuse. How do you tell your boyfriend that you just made out with another man? Not just once. Alcohol was not a good reason, since deep down inside of me, I knew that my body wanted it too. I betrayed him.

"Ok. What happened to you last night? I'd tried to call you several times." I could tell that he was getting suspicious, that I was hiding something from him. Regaining some control of my emotion, I made the same lie I gave Gemma. It seemed the better thing to do as of the moment.

"I'm glad you're ok. You'd got me worried. I can't wait to see you again. I miss you, Scarlet," he said on the line.

"Daniel, I miss you too," I responded. I wanted to see him. We talked more for a few minutes until we finally hanged up.

Now, back in my quiet solitude, my mind drifted back to my thoughts. My attention went back to the moment I closed my eyes that evening. Nathan was right, I might be under the influence of alcohol, but I could distinctly remember everything that happened.

I had a dream or flashback of something that seemed so real. This vision was new, nothing I had seen before, and it was quite clear comparing it to the others. It happened on my birthday, one of the instances in my life that I could not recall after the accident.

Almost all of the people on it were family and friends, except for him. He looked familiar, but I could not remember him. In that dream, everybody knew him. He was the bestfriend of my brother, and it would appear that I was his girlfriend. His girlfriend, and yet I still could not remember anything about him, not even his name.

Could that be real or just a dream? Those blue eyes were the only thing that linked everything together. This new revelation meant that my dreams had nothing to do with Nathan. It was a mere coincidence that they have similar eyes if it was real.

I went to my cabinet, took out a big box at the bottom of the pile. I had not looked at its content ever since I moved here. These were the only few pieces of stuff that connected me to my past. Most of my things were destroyed in the fire together with the rest of my memory.

Mom told me that I barely survived the accident. The fire destroyed everything, including our house that my father built and all our precious belongings. The fire even took the life of my brother. My mom was at work, so she was not there to witness what happened.

Inside the box were some of our old family pictures, back when I was young, mostly with my brother and Mia, some childhood memorabilia, and some of my painting materials. They were not included in the fire since I left most of these things with Mia at her place. When we last saw each other, she returned this to me.

"You can do this," I reassured myself. I opened the drawing pad, scrolling one page at a time. The first leaf was a sketch of a flower in a vase. The next few sheets were random things of objects and scribbles of lines and curves, not necessarily depicting a subject but more on emotion.

Another drawing showed me a sketch I made of Harry and Mia when I asked them to pose for me. I remembered doing another one, but it was better than this, and I gave it to Mia as a present on her birthday.

I lifted the next piece of paper, turning it to the new ones I had drawn after Mia returned this to me. I did the first few sketches using charcoal and pencil, while the last one I colored with oil pastel.

With Mia gone, I never felt so alone. First my brother, then her. I started conjuring this image in my head and unconsciously transferred it to my work. It had triggered the unwanted dreams that had plagued my memories until now.

The distorted memories, a vision I had no recollection of, and the eyes that haunted me. An image that troubled me for so long was now coming into pieces. I wanted to paint the face behind those eyes, but I could not remember to whom it belonged, and I had no idea back then. I could see it more clearly now.

"Ha-Aaah!" Waking up with a jolt. I had the same dream again. I must have fallen asleep while looking through my old things.

Recalling my vision, I mechanically clutched my chest. It was empty. Oh no! Realizing, I lost my necklace.

In the hotel, I wore it at dinner with Gemma. I must have lost it in the bar together with my bag, remembering my humiliating experience that morning, asking for a spare key. Later on, I reported my missing bag, which, unfortunately, the security told me that there was no bag found within the vicinity.

I always thought that my father gave me that necklace, but my dream told me otherwise. It revealed that it was no ordinary pendant but a locket with a tricky lock. Now, I had no way of proving if the dream was real or not. It was gone. It could have been a significant key to my past.

Moving about my bed, I found scattered papers on the covers and the floor. Last night, I started sketching the image in my mind. Those on the floor were bad, but the ones on my reach showed improvement.

It was hard to capture the exact image since I lacked the practice, and I still needed more details of my mystery man. I gathered all my works and hid it under my bed. I did not want Gemma to find it scattered in my room. Not yet anyway.