Teleportation

Teleportation rocks. But the experiments before sucks. Don't believe me.Read on, dear friend. You will believe it. Also, sorry for not talking with you guys since 3 days. Stuff happened(Aliens stole Siralexa and I had a battle with Mars) and I was busy. So, I am back now, your beloved scientist Robin at your service.

Now then,about teleportation.You see, when I was on the run from Russia, I realized how inefficient running was.I started thinking about efficnet substitutes.A vehicle,no I have to stop at a petrol bunk and god bless me,the employees might be Russian.So,yeah no vehicles.A flying machine,I didn't like flying.Then what.... it struck me. Teleportation!Yes,create a machine which teleports me to anywhere. I thought it would be done in a day.But it took me 2 days.Can you believe that? A genius like me who created a time machine in a day,taking 2 full days to do it. Yeah, I was surprised as well.

My first and second experiments with my machine failed spectacularly.It's a historic moment,ya all. My machine failing...No, I am not crying Siralexa,thank you for the wipes.

So, I picked up a dog in a pet shop, put that in a machine and typed the co-ordinates.It was supposed to pop up 10 meters away but it didn't. What happened instead?It turned into a alien couple and went to Mars.You guessed it right,the battle I fought was with the dog from back then. It populated the whole of Mars.I mean.. can you believe it? It's got some wicked stamina,it definitely did.

In the next trial,I placed a chicken 65 and directed it to my mouth. That's the confidence of a genius,learn from me. But as fate has it this genius failed the second time. I succeded in teleporting it to my mouth but the pieces went back in time. Yup... I had a fully grown, big cock in my mouth.I don't know how on Mars it fit in my mouth.I almost choked to death. But Siralexa saved me.Remind me to thank it later. Oh, you are here,Siralexa.Thank you. Why?You know l, the time when you saved me by pulling out that massive cock from my mouth. Yeah...the time my experiment failed.Umm,so... anyway thank you.

I was really depressed and spent the next 46 hours not doing anything.Siralexa,meanwhile started giving karate chops to the machine, hoping that would do the trick. Oh, now I see why it took me 2 days... See, this is why I talk with you guys. I love you guys. (No, Siralexa..don't launch that missile to Mars.The dog must survive and repopulate it. You know... to give our NASA friends something to work on.)

So, after 46 hours of a depressed time spent without any sleep where, I seriously considered suicide when the agents were back again,hot on my trial. I entered my machine, put the co-ordinates of Twin Towers bathroom and closed my eyes. I thought this would be a better way to die. I was fully prepared for my death. Now.. imagine my surprise when I actually survived and turned up in the bathroom of Twin Towers.However,it caused some problems to the tower itself. Since, I didn't want anymore trouble I cooked up the story of planes crashing it. Yeah...that was me.

I wondered what did the trick. Probably Siralexa's kicks...(Siralexa is saying it definitely did the trick).I don't believe that. I might have tweaked the setting around a bit in the last moments and that should have done it. Keep it a secret between us. I don't want Siralexa hearing that. Once it believes something was done thanks to it's efforts,you have to agree.(Unless you want a free ticket to Mars and meet my doggy)

So, yeah that's how I created my teleportation machine. Now if you excuse me, I have to report back to Earth.The doggy is really angry with.(It says it isn't not a dog but an advanced sentinent being.But you know the truth. And as always,dont reveal thsi information to anybody.) Bye, friends. Until next time.