Chapter 24

As I opened my eyes again, I found myself back in the same spot, and everything repeated in the exact same manner. It all went so fast that I still couldn't understand what was going on. My ears were filled with laughter that reminded me of that day as if I was standing there once more in that darkness of disbelief as the sound of smashing and crunching blanked my mind.

Again and again, in a cycle that never stopped, I couldn't escape as my head twirled through the air every time. His words that signified my end were always of a similar sentiment. "Weakling." "Trash." "Useless." "Unbefitting." "Undeserving" They were all short and sweet, but I knew what more was behind them. These sentences raced through my head making me crazy. "You're weak." "You're unbefitting of life." "You're undeserving of happiness." "You're completely useless." "You're trash incapable of completing the simplest of tasks."

With my hands on my head, I couldn't stand any more of this. Their hands reached for me out from the puddle underneath my feet. Inside the puddle, I could see them, Sarah, Valentine, George, Kathleen, everyone. They got a hold of my body and dragged me down into the darkness. Enveloped by it I lay like a baby in the whom, events flashed before my eyes making me unable to resist.

I tried, I really did try, that's what I always told myself, but what have I actually done? I hid in a corner and buried all my feelings inside myself, to never let the world see the pain I was in. I looked for ways for me to relieve these feelings, but did they ever help me? In the end, I just did what I was best at, running away and never fighting back.

The stench of blood clogged my noose, while I stood on that dreaded street I had to witness my greatest regret. As I witnessed her death, fear engulfed me, yet a fiery rage simmered within me. It heated up at an incredible rate and took over my body. I ran with fury in my sight towards that giant monster knowing well enough it was me or him.

With the wind swaying my hair, I felt the ground around me breaking open, but my gaze wasn't wavering I stared at the little girl who had a frightened look on her face. Filled with urgency, I dashed forward to reach her, fearing what would happen to her, and not caring for my own well-being. Still holding my regrets in my hand, I only needed to glance once before dropping it on the ground, there was something else more important to never let go of.

Fire caused me to excessively sweet while smoke blocked my vision and made it hard to breathe, but I couldn't stop. The time was ticking, and I didn't know how much time I had left. I never stopped to take a breather I ran as fast as I could just to see her smile again.

"What's the matter, Samuel?" I looked up and found myself kneeling on the training ground facing the temple. With my eyes on the old man, I thought about what he asked.

"Master, I was thinking about something you had told me before. What if desperation is the only thing I have going for myself?" When the old man heard me, he smiled. "Samuel, there is nothing wrong with being desperate. It shows that even in times where everything feels unimaginable to you, you are still clinging onto a thread of hope."

After reflecting on his words, I contemplated all my past actions. It truly made me wonder why I never tried every single second of the day.

As I regained consciousness, I could still hear those maddening taunts that made my body feel unbearably heavy. The repeated sound irritated me, but my anger was not directed at the conveyors; it was aimed at myself.

Full of determination, I grabbed the darkness and pulled myself up. I climbed and climbed until my head came above water, and my body ascended from the puddle of tar. They tried to stop me; they wanted me back in there, but I didn't even give them a glance. Hand after hand they all lost their grip, feeling freer than ever I let out my voice against it for the first time. "Shut up."

My fist moved in a straight line right towards the knight's helmet. The forceful collision resulted in him being forcefully thrown to the ground. "Shut up!" An unbridled number of emotions soared out of my body as my voice roared inside the area, making everything go quiet.

I glanced at the armored man below, from out of every slit in his armor flowed a black liquid. He picked himself up as I walked backward. He glared at me from behind his visor, and I could see one of his eyes shining a golden light.

He came charging towards me, and I felt the force of his punch slamming into my stomach. While Leaning against a crumbling wall, I cradled my arm protectively across my abdomen. When I lowered my head, I froze up when I noticed something strange. My hand shook in front of my eyes when I saw that I as well was made out of tar.

As he walks towards me, his sword magically reappears in his hand. I stared at him not knowing what I could do to him when he was equipped like that, and I didn't have anything. After standing back up, I took a deep breath before running straight at him.

As I dodge his slash, my fist surges forward and strikes his side, causing him to stumble. The force behind the punch had waned somewhat since the first time. With a swift motion, he raises the sword above and slashes down.

When I reopened my eyes, he stood in front of me with tar still dripping down his armor. Not being discouraged in the slightest my mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. I continued my desperate struggle, rushing towards him and pounding my fists against the metal that enclosed his body. I let out a scream of pain as he tore into my flesh. We repeated this cycle as I tried to grasp that threat of hope, my way out of this nightmare, there had to be something I could do.

I stood on the stone pavement and looked down at the wooden sword in my hands. With my head raised, my eyes stopped on the old coot across me, who had a smile on his face. "Come at me, Samuel."

While dashing forward at the man clad in armor a sword manifested in my hand. The blade swings through the air, aiming for his body. When he blocks it, sparks of light burst around us, causing his other eyes to gleam with a golden glow.

I couldn't help but notice that both he and the old man have a similar fighting style. I tried to keep up with him, but our sword skills were far apart from each other. Even though he easily cut me down every time, I never wavered in my struggle against him.

"Samuel, you only see a sword as a tool. A sword should be an extension of oneself, remember what is the weight of your sword." I always found the old man's words hard to understand, but for some strange reason, it was now that I had to remember them. 

As he blocked my sword, more of this light flew around us. As I created distance, I gazed at him briefly, prompting me to ponder who was concealed beneath that armor. Before I could do anything else, my eyes opened wide as I felt his blade cleanly severing my head of my body.

"Damnit!" Back in the same position the sword reapers in my hand as I dash towards him. "Samuel a battle to the death is not but a dance with murder. It's a fight with your opponent and yourself. If you can't even hold on to yourself, then how will you ever be able to strike someone down." 

As I swing my sword, I notice him preparing to block it. When our blades collide, I let the handle go and move even closer to him. I raise my hands, seize his head, and forcefully slam him onto the floor. Helmet in hand, I stare at the man that was beneath it. He looked somewhat older, but I was certain he was me and I was him.

"Let me see it for just a while longer." After he spoke golden light bursted out of his body causing my vision to fog up. Memories of times I didn't remember spending with the old man raced through my head, days upon weeks of moments in time spent training. Time began to flow at a fast rate as seasons and years began to pass. Coming to a standstill, I could see him, or should I say myself, kneeling on the pavement.

"You have learned under me for many years, and now it has come to that time. I have taught you everything I could all you can do now is hone your craft."

"Thank you for everything you have done for me, master."

My attention was drawn to him in this scenario, who appeared slightly older than me, almost like a reflection of my future self.

The elderly man smiled and gestured towards the gate behind the older version of myself. "Go see the wide world out there. Find companions you can rely on, find someone you love to live the rest of your life with, become the great man I believe you can be, and make sure to visit this old fool when you have the time."

the older me stood up, and turned to the gate. "I will come back and when I do, I'll repay your kindness." When he left the temple grounds, seasons began to pass, after a few years, he came back with friends to introduce to his master. Upon leaving once more, the rest went the same, he came by from time to time along with new faces. New friends, his wife, his kids, until one day it was time to say goodbye.

The older version of me and his family witnessed the final moments of the old man's life as he passed away from natural causes while laying in his bed. He chose to take over the temple and train his children in the exact location where he had been put through hell. Time continued to flash by but stopped on that faithful day when I better said he was being laid to rest next to the old man.

I stood next to his gravestone, just like his wife, children, and grandchildren. I stared at it not knowing how to feel. 

Upon touching the stone, the world around me began to change. When I turned towards the temple, I see the veil of precious memories gradually fading away, while fire devoured everything in sight. Screams filled my ears as the horror of this sight became clearer to me. Pierced by a spear at the entrance of the burning temple was the old man's body.

He kneeled before the staircase into the temple. With my eyes on him, I noticed he didn't look much older than when he left the temple for the first time. I quickly understood what was going on and what I had just experienced. In the end, he wasn't much different from me we both were wishful thinkers.

He sobbed, while his eyes were fixated on the lifeless body of the old man. "Weakling." "You should have been here." "You should have never left." "Why are you so untalented." "This is your fault!" 

Malnourished creatures emerged from the black puddle beneath his body. Completely covered by them his head turns to me, in between their fingers, I could see his pure black eyes staring at me. "Let me go back."

Slowly opening my eyes, my body ached all over. I felt delirious and didn't know what was going on. As I gazed ahead, my vision blurred, and I noticed something peculiar as he adjusted his helmet. His head was completely made of tar.

He was approaching me with a sword in hand, as I timidly stood up. With every movement I made, pain coursed through my body. While he got closer the black goo that dripped down his body conglomerated and climbed up his armor. "You're weak, weakling, you don't deserve any of this. Why can't I go back!" From an air hole in the sludge, it howled out words as it ascended. Two hands grew out of the tar and tightly grasped his helmet. The goo continues to take shape and forms an upper body with a neck and head. It hung onto his armor as golden eyes glared at me.

With my back straight, I stared at him while a sword reappeared in my hand. I tightened my grip around the handle and I wished away the pain before dashing forward.

I swung my sword, but he blocked it. I grit my teeth and tried to put more strength behind it, but it didn't help. He played with me like a fool when I stumbled forward I lost my head. "Weakling."

I charged at him and I fought him with all I had, yet I was still nothing in front of him. "Waist of space."

No matter how many times we repeated our bout I could never get the edge on him. "Unworthy."

"Shut up." Furious, I launched another volley of strikes and he took on every single one of them. "Disappear." "Disappear." "Disappear." "Disappear!" "Disappear!" "Disappear!" He taunted me with every death, making my blood boiling 

"Shut up!" I slashed and slashed I wanted this hellscape to disappear forever, but he seemed impenetrable. "Could you even save anyone?"

As I opened my eyes, uncertainty started to creep in. What if I should have never tried in the first place? 

I stomped my foot down and I swung my sword in pure anger. I was pissed, mad, infuriated; I wanted to rip my soul out of my body and spit on myself. I hate these feelings that roam my mind; I hate myself for how I act; I hate that what he is saying is correct. 

I glared at him furious at how things were going. "You're weak!" I shouted the same words at him and swung the sword. "You're a waste of space!" When he moved backward to create some distance, I quickly closed the gap. "You can't protect a single person!"

My blood boil, as I shout at him every time I attack. "You're useless!" "You are nothing, a pest that is better off dead!" "The sight of you pisses anyone off!" "You can't even show people that you care for them!" "You wallow in a corner and feel like blaming the world!" "How can you ever look them in the face again!" We moved around in the arena as our swords continuously clashed, and I let everything out.

With my next swing, I throw his sword to the side and my blade collides with his armor. He slid over the ground but quickly got back up. I attacked vigorously, yet nothing I did could be called good swordsmanship, I just let my instincts guide me as desperation was in my stride.

Our fight raged on as his cold metal fists smashed into my body as time passed by.

As I looked down at him, these last few moments felt exhilarating, my blood was pumping as I swung the sword around, I was completely high on ecstasy, and my brain had shut off. With every shout, I felt like my stamina was infinite. This was all incredible and eerily similar to the time I fought that giant monster. Just like then I felt like I had wings on my back while charging down towards them with a weapon in hand and only one thing on my mind, die.

"Why do you make me look so miserable!" I let out my last cry as with the swing of my sword the whole arena was cut in two.