Chapter 49 Couldn't Happen to a Nicer Bitch

Harry's POV

It had been a hard battle; the army was larger in this room. After an hour of fighting, making sure not to kill the little buggers, they finally got the queen. Harry looked at the royal doxy he held captive in his hand. She was bigger than her minions, longer too. Where the soldiers were palm size, she was the length of his whole hand. Her coloring was darker as well. She stood in his grasp and glared at him, folding her four arms over her flat chest. He glared back and the two got into a staring contest, until Sirius cleared his throat, which made them turn their angry gaze to the dogman.

"Funny as it is to see you try and dominate a pest, don't you think you should… I don't know, find out if she can understand you?" Sirius asked with a chuckle. The way they had been battling the doxies meant that they were, at the very least, as intelligent as house elves. They didn't seem to have any magic though, just higher thinking.

"Fine," the teen huffed, and turned back to the queen. "Can you understand me?" he asked, leaning in a bit, causing her head to move back.

"Of course, I can, you pitiful human," came the tiniest voice Harry had ever heard.

He leaned in further to hear it better, and she bit his ear. "Ow!" he yelped, pulling back. "Here now, none of that. I wanted to make a deal with you," he said, clearing the venom with a wave of his free hand.

"What could you possibly offer me? We were doing well here, until you came along. There was plenty to eat and no humans to bother us," she snarled, making Harry chuckle at her.

"Well, first off, I'd like to know how you can understand us. Particularly, if there were no humans around," Sirius inquired. Like he had said before he had never seen doxies act like this and wondered what caused the change.

"I'm not sure," she confessed unwillingly. If it hadn't been for the tight hand that held her and the fact they had her children in that prison box, she wouldn't have said anything. "One day we were mindlessly eating, when I suddenly had a coherent thought. If I have one, then my swarm has one. It started out small and then progressed to the intelligence you see now. We learned most of our language from the portraits. They are a talkative bunch. Not a nice crowd though, you filthy blood-traitor. Your mother really doesn't like you." she smirked at Sirius, making him growl a bit.

"That's okay, I don't like her much either," he perked up with a grin. He smiled at the memory of the tirade that portrait had had, until Harry simply vanished her mid-rant. Nothing warmed his heart more than to see that crone completely gone from this earth. Couldn't happen to a nicer bitch. He had said as much to Harry, making the teen laugh.

"Were you in this room when it happened?" Harry asked, looking around with his map scanning the room. There were definitely dark objects here. There was a necklace that radiated evil. He squinted his eyes at it and thought about destroying it. Before he could, his attention was captured by the doxy's answer.

"Yes, I never leave this room. It is where my nest is," she said, not giving any indication where said nest was.

"What do you see, Harry?" Sirius asked, looking around to see if he could feel what Harry seemed to be feeling.

"There's a necklace over there," the teen answered, nodding his head to the cabinet. "Feels like a horcrux."

"Are you going to destroy it?" the dogman asked, backing away from the cabinet.

"I want to, but something is telling me that others have to know besides Bones. I mean, I can't find them all, so I wonder who else could," Harry replied, listening to Spock give him some advice.

"Maybe you should give it to Waters. He might know people," was the thoughtful suggestion. That man seemed to know how to get things done, so he should know the right sort of people.

"Sure, I'll send it to him tomorrow," Harry said, it was good suggestion and Waters hadn't steered him wrong yet. The lawyer was one of the few adults Harry respected. "Okay, now, back to you. What should we do with you and yours?" he asked as he looked back to the queen.

"You're not going to kill us?" she questioned with narrow eyes. She wasn't sure if she could trust this human, but she could feel her hive in the back of her mind, hurt but alive.

"Nope," our hero replied, making her sag with relief. "I thought we could put you to good use. I mean, you won't be effective to a large number of people, but you could take down a few at a time." A few plans were already going through his head. An army of any kind would be useful. Even if they only took a few out of the battle ground. Not that he planned on fighting anyone, but it never hurts to make allies. After all, he had two crazy old men after him for one reason or another. Who knows what the future would bring? Well, Luna, but she only got flashes, and they were usually in the immediate future.

"Then can you find us a place that's not so evil?" she asked hesitantly. She was worried for her offspring. Whatever caused their sentience was making a few of them rebellious. She knew that if they broke off from the hive, they would die. They needed to be part of the swarm to live, but there was dissention in the ranks. Some were even questioning on whether or not they should overthrow the throne. It would be suicide at a mass proportion. She had yet to produce another queen, she hoped it would be soon. The hive was getting very large, and it would need to split soon. That could only happen if there was another queen. Perhaps in the new batch of eggs.

"What? You just got through saying you liked it here," the confused teen said, wondering what caused that quick turnaround.

"Not really. Now that we can think, it's very depressing here," she hedged, looking around at the gloomy room and shivering. "We just never left because it was convenient," she shrugged and held out all four hands in a 'what can you do' manner.

"Let me think about it," Harry said, scratching his head. "Until then, let's get you with your family."

"Wait!" she yelled. "I need my eggs… please," she tried not to beg, but it was a close thing.

"Sure," Harry said, not really caring if she took them or not. "Where are they?"

She pointed to her nest and with a wave of his hand, he relocated the post of the bed into the TARDIS box, causing said bed to crash to the floor. No big loss, it was trash anyway. He then bid the queen goodbye and added her there as well.

"Well, that's done. And I'm ready for bed. Do you want to go back to the Shack or stay here?" Sirius asked with huge yawn.

"Let's go back. I don't want the girls to worry."

"Right, poof away," the older man said with a grin. He did much prefer Harry's form of travel. He was almost to the point where he could do it as well. Harry had given him the comic book he had gotten the idea from, but Sirius was more into the story than to learn new magic from it. Wolverine was a hoot. What he could do to Death Eaters with claws like that.

Harry grabbed the TARDIS prison, then his godfather and the two disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Neville's POV

The next morning the group went to breakfast as usual. They were chowing down and talking about the Ball in vague terms. Luna was still eating at the Gryffindor table and was creating a castle with her scrambled eggs, using the cheese as glue. It was when they were halfway through that the Daily Prophet appeared. On the front page were two glaring headlines.

Boy-Who-Lived Tossed Out of Hogwarts, and Fudge Dead, Foul Play Suspected

The first article was a very accurate description of what had happened between Harry and McGonagall. It detailed the amnesia and how it happened. Then went on to say that the McGonagall was being cruel and unreasonable. Her treatment of the Boy-Who-Lived was uncalled for, or anyone one who suffered like that. It was the school's responsibility to see that the boy was taken care of, since they caused his ailment. It asked the question on why she would kick an orphan to the streets when she had been the one to bring him back to Hogwarts in the first place, for 'his safety'. There were a few lines on Dumbledore and the first task, but it mostly focused on the Deputy Headmistress, currently Provisional Headmistress.

The second article was not as comprehensive, it just said that Minister Fudge's body was found, hidden in the ministry with his Undersecretary, and that they were killed with the Killing Curse. It asked that anyone who had information to come forward and report it. There was a short biography of the two dead people's life, but not in great detail. Neville never knew that Umbridge was a half-blood. His gran never stopped ranting about that woman, especially after a Wizengamot session. Couldn't happen to a nicer bitch.

The Great Hall exploded with whispers, accusations, and some shouts of protest. Not everyone liked the disparaging things the first article stated about McGonagall, but they were few. Her strict teaching methods, and her unbending personality didn't win her a lot of fans. Specifically, with her neglected House. There was no love lost between them and their inattentive Head.

Neville could see Harry's hand in this, because no one knew that last fact except the people sitting at this table, and part of the staff. Well, Dumbledore, but he didn't see the old man saying anything that would put the school in a bad light.

"Oh, the fallout from this is going to be bad for her," Luna warned ominously, eating the top of her castle.

"Serves her right," Hermione huffed. She was very disappointed that she and Luna would not be attending the Ball with Harry. It would have been fun, and she could learn more about her friend. Especially, since he was regaining his memories. She had wanted to see if he changed back into the former boy, or if he maintained his new attitude. She was hoping for the latter, since the new Harry treated her as an equal.

"Don't worry, Hermione, they're back at the Shack," the little blonde said with a bright smile as if she had read Hermione's mind.

"How did you…. oh, never mind," the bushy-haired girl huffed again.

"When do you think the howlers wills start?" Fred asked, looking to the ceiling as if they would suddenly appear.

"Don't know, but it should be fun," his brother answered with a smirk.

"I guess, we'll have to wait until after classes," Neville said, taking one last bite of his toast and getting up.

"Yeah," the others said, disappointed.

They all got up and headed to class. It was going to be hard to wait.

Harry's POV

"Shite," Harry said as they were sitting down for breakfast.

"What?" Remus asked as he joined them.

"We forgot the necklace," the teen answered, serving up some bacon.

"What necklace?"

"Don't worry about it, we've got it covered," Sirius said, sipping some tea. "You could give Dobby a container, with a note, and have him pop it over to Waters," he suggested, turning to his godson.

"Good idea," Harry said, waving his hand and creating a small rubber box, shielded much like the rubber ball had been. "Dobby," he called. And when the little guy appeared, he handed him the box and pointed to the only opening. "I need you to go and get the bad feeling necklace in that last room we cleared. Levitate it in this opening, don't touch it. It'll swallow it and close by itself. Then take this, and the note I'm about to write, to Waters," he gentle ordered. Taking out a small paper and pencil and jotting down what the lawyer needed to know.

"Yes, sir, Harry Potter, sir," Dobby said, taking the box and waiting for him to finish.

Harry handed him the completed note and smiled. "Thanks, Dobby."

"Wait, I need to write to Waters too," Sirius said as he scrambled to get what he needed to say on paper. He then sealed it and handed it to Dobby.

With a beaming grin, the little guy popped away.

"That's a load off my mind. So, what are we going to do with and army of doxies?" Harry asked the two men sitting with him.

Remus spit his tea across the table. "An army of what!?" he shouted, really wishing he had been with them yesterday.

"Yeah, my house was infested with them. They took over the first floor. We think it was the horcrux that did it," Sirius said with a grin, picking up his cup to finish the last of his tea.

"They formed an army? As it tactical movements and everything?" the confused werewolf sputtered. He was well versed in the creatures of the Wizarding World, and he had never, ever heard of such a thing. "Wait, what horcrux!?" he yelled, getting beyond frustrated with how they were throwing things around so casually and not going into detail.

"Yup. Found another one, it's what we just sent to Waters. As to the doxies…" Harry said mischievously, waving his hand and calling the TARDIS box to him. When it landed on the table. He opened it, carefully shielding the top so only the queen could come out. He saw a few of the doxies slam into the shield and said in a playful voice, "Oh, Queenie, come out, come out, where ever you are."

The queen flew to the top and cautiously left the box. Seeing as her army was stuck inside, she sat on the edge and glared at the humans. "What?" she demanded in her tiny voice.

"I had an idea last night on how you could be useful, but we just need to do a bit of training. So, I was wondering if you wanted to hear it? It could be fun, and you get to bite people," he said enticingly.

The queen thought about it for a moment, tapping the finger of her second left hand on her chin. "Will it be dangerous?" she asked, looking around to see if said danger was already here.

"Nay, with the training I'm going to give you, you and your army should be okay. Well, no more dangerous than your life usually is," Harry allayed her concern.

"And we get to bite people?" she inquired, perking up at that thought.

"Yup, but only a select few, I'll have your word on that. We'll draw up a treaty or something. It'll state that you and yours, including your descendants, will only attack certain people and me and mine will not hunt you down," came the tempting offer. He wondered how Waters' firm was going to feel drawing up said treaty.

"Give me a few days to think upon it. I must to what's best for my swarm," she said thoughtfully.

"Sure, take your time. I have all the time in the world," the teen said with a bright smile. He really hoped she took him up on it. It would be a great help and give her and her offspring a better life.

The queen nodded her head and went back into the box. Harry carefully sealed the lid and put the container aside.

"Sirius, what did you need to tell Waters?" Harry asked, smacking Remus about the head to get him out of his shock. The man was sitting with a fork full of scrambled eggs halfway to his mouth, staring at the box on the floor. The smack cause his eggs to fall, but he was still wrapping his head around what he just witnessed.

"Oh, I am having him present the money we raised to the Board. I'm letting them know they can have it, but because of McGonagall's actions, we almost donated it to someone else," Sirius said slyly. "I made sure to tell him to have an ironclad agreement that it would be used for the school and would never wind up in someone's pocket. Maybe he could set up a committee to oversee the disbursement of the funds. I told him to make sure that they knew it was from you and Reggie Sirius Grey. This way I can start my new identity." He shrugged, knowing that it was a good start. He had thought long and hard about it and decided what they had talked about earlier was the way to go. He had gotten used to not being looked at with mistrust or outright scorn. No one but his friends had ever trusted him, and even Remus turned on him because of his former name. No, he was killing off the Blacks. He'd go to Gringotts later today to do just that.

He and Remus would set up an antique shop and hire someone to sell the stuff. Profits would go to the fund. Now, that Remus had established himself as an honest seller, it should be good money. He could come in as a co-owner in his new name. They found out went they started, anything with the Black name was treated with suspicion, because of Sirius being wanted in the non-magical world as well. So, when Remus came aboard, they switched it to him. Sirius had made a killing with a few less savory people, and he still might sell under the Black name from time to time.

Harry laughed as he finished up his breakfast. Winky popped in about that time with the Prophet. They all took in the two headlines, and Harry laughed harder.

When Remus read the fate of the woman who had made his life hell with all her anti-werewolf laws he said, "Couldn't happen to a nicer bitch." Causing Harry to fall to the floor he was laughing so hard.