How Could I Say That?

"Hey, Y/N! How was your patrol with Ryukyu?" Denki asked, jogging to catch up with her as she entered the dorm.

"Not that great. I don't really want to talk about it."

She waited long enough for him to catch up before she answered, then entered the building with him only a couple steps behind.

"Anything I can do to help?" he questioned as they switched out their shoes.

As much as she loved Denki, she really didn't have the energy for anything more than scrounging up something for dinner and then crashing. He was his normal, bubbly self and as much as she wanted to give him a smile she just couldn't bring herself to.

Her patrol that day with Ryukyu had been one shit show after another. Several civilians had gotten hurt because she'd been distracted during a scuffle with some robbers. Then she'd scared a kid with her quirk, trying to protect him until his dad could get him. To top it off she'd nearly lost a villain Ryukyu had recognized as being connected to the League of Villains and Paranormal Liberation Front during the war. She was feeling like a failure and just wanted the day to be over.

"Not right now Denks, maybe tomorrow."

"There's gotta be something! You know how great I am at cheering you up."

"I know, Denki, please, I just want to be alone for a bit."

"Aw, come on, Songbird! You know you'll feel better after we hang out!"

He caught her hand, whether he was trying to get her to stop walking or he was just going to do something silly, she wasn't sure, but it pushed over the edge. Something inexplicable rose up and made her snatch her hand away, feeling like she was tainted and it would rub off on him.

"Phoenixes don't sing, Denks."

"Y/N, don't be such a grump!"

"Oh my God, Denki, I told you I want to be alone! Stop being stupid!"

Even in the midst of her anger and frustration it took less than a moment to realize what she'd done. In a blink her stomach dropped and she covered her mouth with her hand, self loathing replacing her earlier aggravation.

"Denki…"

The light in Denki's eyes dimmed, leaving behind something hard and his normally soft smile turned sharp as he took several steps back from her.

"Yeah, sorry, I should have backed off when you asked. Was just trying to cheer you up, but I guess now's not the time."

"No, I'm so sorry. Fuck, Denki, I'm sorry. I'm such an asshole."

Before Denki could say anything she spun on her toe and ran.

Without a care of where her slippers landed she snatched up her regular shoes and burst through the front door. Hopping on one foot as she fought to get her shoes on but still trying to move forward, away from her best friend that she'd just hurt; possibly beyond repair.

Not bothering to use her quirk, she sped across campus, aiming for the front gate. Rounding the corner onto the street had her running face first into Shinso, heading back from his internship.

He managed to keep them both upright, catching her around the waist, but when he realized there were tears streaming down her face his hold on her shifted to her shoulders.

"Y/N, what's wrong?"

Shaking her head she took a step away from him, getting ready to resume her mad dash away from the school.

"Denki, check on Denki."

"What happened?" He started, eyes wide at her sobbing plea, but she was already taking off again. "Y/N!"

She didn't stop, didn't look back to see if Shinso had gone to do as she asked, she just ran.

As if her day hadn't already been terrible enough, she had said the worst possible thing she could have to Denki. Her best friend that she knew struggled with being insecure about his intelligence.

'I'm no hero. I couldn't help those civilians earlier, I scared that kid, I nearly let the villain escape, and I just hurt Denki.'

When she found herself back outside her mentor's agency, she hurried through the lobby and into the elevator, scanning her ID at the security desk while keeping her head tilted down. She hoped the guards couldn't tell she'd been bawling like a baby a few minutes ago. It was bad enough she'd clearly ran all the way from the school. Sweaty and still panting a little.

She punched the button for the top floor and shuffled to the back of the elevator to wait.

At this time of day the agency wasn't fully staffed so there were only a couple of tired looking office workers heading to their respective desks to start their evening shift. When Y/N arrived at the top floor, she beelined for the short set of stairs and the door to the roof.

Working directly with Ryukyu allowed her to learn a lot of nuances that came with having a quirk that allowed you to transform into a mythical flying creature. It also meant her agency ID opened the door to the roof when most agency members didn't have access.

She'd never been more thankful for her choice of internships as she was at that moment. Ryukyu's love of heights led her to create a peaceful outdoor seating area on the roof of her agency that most people didn't know even existed. Since the weather was good, the retractable roof was put away, leaving a clear view of the sky; something that brought peace to dragon and phoenix alike apparently.

Y/N sat on one of chairs, cushions and pillows giving her the opportunity to comfortably curl up. The solitude had her thoughts spiraling once more, her tears coming back full force as she crushed one of the pillows to her chest. She felt her phone vibrating in her pocket, but she ignored it. It was probably Shinso checking on her, but she didn't deserve that so she refused to allow herself the opportunity to feel better.

And if it were Denki… he was the sweetest friend she'd ever had, he'd probably try to tell her it was okay and it didn't bother him when she knew it absolutely did. She wished he would yell at her, curse at her the way Bakugou did all the time.

'God, how could I say that to him?'

She'd just made the decision to steer clear of him until he realized she was letting him off the hook of being her friend, no obligation to stay with her meant she'd never be able to hurt him again, when her early morning, long day, and tears caught up to her. The last thought she had was of how pissed Mr. Aizawa would be when he found out she was out after curfew, then exhaustion pulled her under.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Songbird. Time to wake up."

Gentle fingers brushed her hair off her face stirring her into wakefulness.

"Phoenixes don't sing." She muttered, still half asleep.

Light laughter had her eyes snapping, immediately meeting a pair of golden eyes that were only slightly less sad than the last time she'd seen them.

"Denki!" She cried, scrambling out of the chair she'd been sleeping in. "How did you find me?!"

On her feet once more, she turned away, fully intending to run away from him again, but he caught her hand before she got far.

"I don't think so, Y/N. No way am I gonna let you run away again before we talk."

"Let go, Denki! I will jump off this building and fly away if you don't!"

"You go right ahead, Songbird, but I hope you've been practicing flying with someone in your back because I'm not letting go."

Tears sprang up again, so she stubbornly refused to face him. Kept yanking at her hand, but didn't want to do anything that would hurt him just to break his grip on her.

"Talk to me Y/N."

"That's what got us into this mess! Me talking and being a jerk!"

"Hey, you weren't being a jerk, it was the truth, I was being –"

Anger coursed through her and she turned to glare at him, causing him to shut his mouth.

"I'm already pissed at myself for saying that to you, Denki, don't make it worse by even trying to say I was right."

Denki sighed, but only pulled her into his chest. She didn't make it easy, but she couldn't bring herself to pull away again. All she wanted was for them to be okay, but even if Denki could forgive her for what she'd done, she wasn't sure she could forgive herself.

"You know I'm not mad at you, Y/N." He murmured as his arms wrapped around her.

Shoulders shaking, she slipped her arms around his waist and clung to the back of his jacket.

"You should be! You're my best friend and I said something unforgivable." She sobbed.

"Well, I was bugging you when you'd obviously had a rough day."

"Ugh, stop! You were being a good friend! Trying to cheer me up, or at least talk about what happened. I was an asshole!"

"Aw come on –"

"No, Denki!" She cut him off, leaning back just enough to look up at his face. "I know better than anyone how much you struggle with confidence in how smart you are, and I still said what I said. You're the sweetest, funniest, most fun to be around guy that I know. You always make me feel better when I'm in a bad mood, you bring me snacks, and you watch movies and anime with me even when it's something you don't like, and how do I repay you? By calling you stupid! You're not stupid though! You're smart! And kind and intuitive and handsome and I've never had someone in my life I care about the way I care about you. Then I went and ruined it!"

She buried her face back in his chest, not even registering the way Denki froze for a moment. Then he was gently tipping her chin so she'd look at him again.

"You think I'm handsome?"

Y/N rolled her eyes even as she felt her cheeks go warm.

"You're kidding right? That's what you're choosing to focus on right now?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"That you think I'm handsome? That you've never cared about anyone the way you care about me?"

"Yeah, I meant it!"

"Shit, I forgive you."

"What –"

It was Denki's turn to interrupt her, leaning down and pressing his mouth to hers. If Y/N hadn't known any better she would have sworn he used his quirk on her, but even as she found herself unable to move, there was no fiery pain that accompanied being stunned with Denki's electricity.

When Denki broke the kiss just long enough to tilt his head and lean back in, Y/N involuntarily shifted her weight into him, lifting onto her tiptoes to reach his lips better.

It wasn't much more than a press of their mouths together. Awkward because of their inexperience, but still enough to set butterflies off in her stomach.

Then he was pulling away to look her in the eye. For several moments they were silent, but his eyes seemed to be sparkling with so many feelings and thoughts. It was probably pretty similar to what she felt was going on in her mind.

"Denki?"

"Yeah?"

"I really am sorry. I shouldn't have let my shitty day cause me to be such a terrible friend."

"I already forgave you, Y/N."

"Doesn't mean I shouldn't apologize. Or try to make it up to you."

Eyes lighting up as he grinned, Denki pulled her with him as he sat in one of the chairs.

Sitting in his lap, legs draped over the arm of the chair and tucked into his chest was more comfortable than she would have thought it would be. Though her cheeks were much warmer than normal at the intimate embrace she'd never been in before with anyone, much less Denki.

"I think I know how you can make it up to me, Songbird."

Pulse skyrocketing as he pulled her even closer, she had to swallow hard to be able to respond.

"How?"

"Be my girlfriend?"

Her mouth dropped open in surprise, eyes growing wide in disbelief at what he'd said.

"Really?" She choked out.

His smile dropped at one corner, and insecurity flickered in his eyes causing her to scramble to grab his face and pull his mouth back to hers. Noses bumped together but she didn't let that deter her as she tried to keep her mouth pressed to his as she shifted in his lap to straddle his legs.

"You actually want to date me?" She asked when she broke the kiss.

"How could I not?"

"Denki, I could give you so many reasons not to! I'm grumpy all the time, I'm completely addicted to caffeine, I have a terrible sense of humor, I never look cute for class because I sleep instead of doing my hair or makeup, I take myself way too seriously, I get stuck in my head and overanalyze everything –"

"Kind of like now?" Denki teased.

"Humph!"

He laughed before pressing a kiss to her cheek. She was already getting attached to the way the easy affection felt as she allowed herself to return it.

"You are not grumpy, Bakugou is grumpy, you're just not over the top bubbly like Mina. And you still have a long way to go before I consider you 'addicted' to caffeine. Shinso is addicted to caffeine, Songbird, you are not. Your sense of humor is absolutely adorable, you like puns! Which means you actually laugh at most of the memes I send you. How could that be anything other than perfect? And regardless of how your hair and makeup looks, you're always absolutely gorgeous. Your eyes sparkle and your smile is beautiful no matter what. I wouldn't say you take yourself too seriously so much as you care very deeply about things that are important to you. That's not a bad thing usually, but sometimes, on days like today, you let that push you into a dark place. On top of that, you overanalyze, which comes in handy in class and in hero work, but can be dangerous if left unchecked."

Her face grew warm with every argument Denki gave, disagreeing with each flaw she thought she had. By the time he finished she wanted to bury her head in his neck and hide away. But then he reached up and palmed both of her cheeks.

"And I wouldn't change a single thing about you, Songbird."

Tearing up a little she melted into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck to hug him close.

"Yes, I'll be your girlfriend, Denki."

Denki laughed as he squeezed her around the middle, then suddenly they were up off the chair and spinning around. Her giggles joined his as whooped loudly, dancing across the roof in his exuberance, then set her down to stand in front of him.

"Not a bad way to end a bad day, huh?"

"More like start a new day, the sun is coming up, Denki!"

"Oh shit, we'd better get back to campus before Mr. Aizawa finds out!"

"Even if he does, it was worth it!" Y/N laughed as she pulled Denki to the edge of the roof.

"You have actually been practicing flying with someone riding, right?" He asked a little worriedly as she transformed. "Y/N?"

"Hold on tight!" She called as he settled onto her back.

Then they were off, Denki squeaking at the unexpected feeling of speeding off the roof and through the air. She leveled off as soon as she was high enough to see over the majority of the city.

"Look to the right!"

"Whoa!"

It was one of her favorite parts of being able to fly, getting up so high nothing blocked the view of the sun as it dawned over the horizon.

The sky was blushing pink, just starting to turn orange, revealing clouds that had been nearly unnoticeable in the dark.

The way the light hit the different shapes in the cloud, painting them every hue of pink and orange imaginable was unlike anything else she'd ever seen. It was like living in a water color painting, filling her with adrenaline as she took a moment to enjoy the view and the wind in her feathers.

"You get to see this all the time?"

Denki's awed question had her chuckling, but she waited to answer as she tilted forward to begin their descent towards the school.

"I'll take you up whenever you'd like Denki." She offered as she transformed back, turning to the blonde who immediately pulled her in close and captured her lips.

"Totally worth it."

With another laugh they were off, racing to the front gate of the school, unsure of what they would find and neither one caring a bit.