Unrequited Love

Third Person's Point of View

“DID Gavin go home last night?” She asked Manang Belen, one of their maids. She just finished her breakfast and she doesn’t even see Gavin’s shadow.

“He didn’t go home last night, Ayana.” Manang Belen looked at her with sympathy in her eyes. Of all people, Manang Belen is the only one who knows her real feelings. She’s the only one who knows how much pain she was bearing.

“I’ll go to work now. See you later.” She bid goodbye at Manang Belen.

“Go ahead now. Just don’t mind your husband, okay?”

Sadness consumed her again. How she wishes she can easily ignore her husband. If there’s a magical way to erase her feelings for Gavin, she’ll not think twice to do it. “I’ll try.” A sad smile appeared on her face.

She was working at Gavin’s company. All the employees there don’t know that she’s the wife of Gavin. But everyone knows that Gavin is a married man. Of course, Gavin planned it. He doesn’t want to introduce her as his wife. So, she’s just an ordinary employee at her husband’s company.

When she already arrived at the company, her best friend— Mica approached her.

“Oh my gosh, Ayana! What happened to your eyes? Did someone punch you the reason why you have black eyes?!” Mica’s eyes widened.

She rolled her eyes and just sat in her swivel chair. Her best friend is always exaggerated. It’s not really black eyes but eye bags.

“Mind your own business, please?” She can’t help herself but glare at Mica. Even though Mica is her best friend, she doesn’t know who’s the real her. What Mica knows about her is she’s a single woman with a normal life. Mica doesn’t even know she’s the wife of Gavin— the CEO of their company.

Her best friend keeps bothering her. “Why don’t you tell me what’s happening in your life? Do you have a boyfriend now? What’s his name, huh? Is he handsome and rich? Did you already kis—”

She cuts Mica off. “Damn it, Mica! Shut your mouth, will you?!” She irritatingly uttered. Before her best friend speaks, the CEO’s secretary suddenly approached her.

“Ms. Buenavista, the CEO wants to see you in his office now.” The secretary vanished right away after she informed Ayana.

A trembling began inside Ayana. Her heart jolted. Sweat was moistening her palms. She was so nervous. She will see her husband after he didn’t go home last night at their house.

Even though her knees were shaking, she managed herself to go to Gavin’s office.

“Sir,” her voice almost whispered.

Coldness swallowed Gavin’s eyes and froze any emotion in his face. Gavin was looking at her seriously. His gaze seemed to pierce in her core that her system shivered more. The way he looks at her was killing her inside. That’s not the look she wants to get from her own husband.

“Encode those papers, then give it to my secretary before 6:00 pm, today,” Gavin said coldly.

Her lips slightly parted and she glanced at the mountain of papers above his desk. Is he kidding? No matter what she does, she still can’t encode those papers and submit them all by the given time. She doesn’t have the powers to move fast!

“Are you sure today is the deadline, Sir?” She incredulously asked.

“Yes.”

“But sir—”

“Are you disobeying my order, Ms. Buenavista?”

There’s an unbearable pain struck her heart. Just a simple word but gave different emotions to her. Gavin never calls her with his surname. He never treats her as his wife.

Just for once, she wants to be treated the way she wants. But how? She’s just a slut woman for her husband’s eyes.

She took a deep breath. Even though it’s impossible for her to do the task that Gavin asked her to do, she’ll give it a try. “Right away, Sir.”

“You may leave now.” He focused his eyes again on the papers that he was holding and doesn’t bother to look at her anymore.

“Yes, sir.”

She immediately went out to his office. Her heart tightened inside her chest and fresh tears well up in her eyes. She leaned on the wall. If she didn’t do that, she must be tumble-down on the floor again.

Her feelings came rushing back like a tidal wave. The sadness consumed her so much that it left her aching and exhausted.

She’s a battered wife.

Her story is unrequited love.

She bitterly smiled. Why she can’t let go, Gavin? Why did she keep insisting herself to the man who can’t love her back? She actually can divorce him and starts a new beginning. But the only reason why she was still holding on because… she loves Gavin.

Love can make all people fool, right? Even though the pain was unbearable, the person was willing to bear it just for the person he loves.

She wiped her tears that consistently running down her cheeks and fixed herself before she entered in her department. Though her hands were still trembling, she started to encode the papers that Gavin asked her to do. She wants to impress her husband. Just for a minute, she wants to get his attention by doing the task perfectly. She wants to slap his face that she’s not a useless slut.

The lunchtime came but Ayana doesn’t have any plan to eat. She needs to finish her work and the time she’ll consume by eating her meal will spare her to do her work.

“Ayana, it’s already lunch break. Let’s eat now in the cafeteria.” Mica invited her.

“Just eat without me. I have so many things to do.” She answered, never taking her gaze from the computer.

“Did you know that a workaholic person will never meet his true love?” Stacey playfully said. She’s one of her officemates. “So, don’t be serious about your work and just socialize with others!”

She just smiled. Everyone thought she’s still single but little did they know she’s actually married.

“It’s bad skipping your meal, Ayana. Let’s grab lunch now.” Mica was still forcing her to eat with them but she disagreed. Mica just sighed heavily and walked out with their officemates.

Then silence ensued. She was left alone inside their department. Ayana felt back pain but she doesn’t entertain that.

‘I need to finish my work.’

That’s the only thing running and running in her mind.

******

AYANA rested her back on the swivel chair while stretching her arms.

‘I finally made it.’

She’s done. It’s unbelievable that she finished her work and spared her whole time to encode those papers. It’s already evening. She immediately went to Gavin’s secretary to give the flash drive.

“I’m done encoding the data. Here’s the file.” She sighed in relief the moment she gave the flash drive to Gavin’s secretary.

Finally! She can rest now.

But her smile automatically faded as Tricia stated something that made her heart broke again.

“These are the data in 2016.” Tricia’s eyebrow quirks up. “Why Mr. de la Vega asked you to encode it? In fact, I’ve already encoded this and it’s not needed anymore.”

Literally, her jaw dropped. Her forehead creased and she swallowed deeply. The fire of anger began to build up inside her. She clenched her fist and teeth and fought to hold back her tears.

Gavin did it on purpose. He wants her to suffer. As always, Gavin wants her to see in pain because it was his happiness.

“Is he still at his office?” She asked with disappointment evident on her face.

“Mr. de la Vega already went home,” Tricia answered.

AYANA entered their house with a frown on her face. She didn’t see Gavin’s car in the garage. She thought Gavin went home early but why he’s not there yet?

She took a deep breath and rested her back on the sofa.

“What’s stressing you? Did Gavin maltreat you again?” Manang Belen gave her a glass of water as she sat next to her.

“He doesn’t treat me as his wife and he can’t even respect me as his employee.” She burst out her anger. “What did I do wrong to receive this treatment?” She swore under her breath.

“Gavin doesn’t want you to have a part of his life. Ever since he shows to you that he can never love you, but you chose to love him still.”

She hugged Manang Belen. Simple comfort is the only thing she needs at the moment.

“I know he doesn’t love me. But why he’s treating me this way? I just want to love and be loved. What’s wrong about that?” She can feel her heart being ripped from her chest. She can feel it bleeding and losing its life.

“Don’t stress yourself out, Ayana.” Manang Belen helped her to stand up. “Change your clothes now and let’s eat dinner.”

She obeyed Manang Belen. She went to her room and changed her clothes. After that, she went to the kitchen and slightly startled when she saw Gavin sitting there while eating.

She sat down in front of him but Gavin doesn’t even look at her. He was just eating there silently. They were in the middle of dinner when she called out his name.

“Why did you ask me to encode those papers even though it’s not needed anymore?” Pain flared inside her chest.

“So?” Gavin drawled and just continued to eat.

She clenched her jaw. Gavin was treating her like trash again.

“Did you know I skipped my meal just for that nonsense papers?!” All the blood drains from her face and pools in her bare toes, and she temporarily struck dumb. “I’ve spared my whole time just to finish those fucking papers!” Her lips were trembling. “I know I’m fucking stupid but I just want you to notice me. I just want you to look at me without hatred in your eyes.”

Ayana is a fool. A martyr. She wants just a little love from her husband. Is she hard to love?

Gavin glared at her. “I don’t love you, Ayana. I thought you’re aware of that.” Gavin stands harshly and left the kitchen but before he goes upstairs, she stopped him.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Her heart tightened inside her chest and she can’t stop her eyes from watering.

“I already said the answer, Ayana,” Gavin said in a dangerously low voice.

“Until now you’re blaming me why we ended up like this?” She wiped her tears but it consistently running down. “This is the decision of our parents and not mine. I can’t do anything about this!” She screamed at him. She can’t endure the pain anymore. “If you didn’t marry me, do you think you’ll get the company, huh?!”

The air between them became pressured and heavy. Gavin gazed at her coated with impatience. “I have my ways to get the company but you ruin my plans because you keep insisting yourself to me!” Gavin heavily breathes and grimly looked at her as if she’s the most disgusting person he ever met. “You asked your parents if you can marry me for the exchange of partnership of both companies, right?” She can feel hatred in his voice. “Why did you do that? Because you love me? You do fucking love me, huh?” Gavin sarcastically laughed. “You’re selfish.”

“I want to marry you because I love you.” She feels her heart hammering again and again in her chest. “I did everything but you still don’t feel the same way.”

“I can’t love you. How can I love the girl who destroyed my life? You ruined everything.” She can hear him gritting his teeth. “I can’t stay with you for more than a minute. I’m really tired of this, Ayana. I hate you so damn much.” His furious eyes were staring at her. “I’m not stupid enough to fall in love with you.”

She puffed a breath and gulped. “Then, tell me! Tell me how not to love you?” She can feel her heart being ripped. “Is it hard for you to love me back?” The fact still hurts her like a dagger digging into her flesh. “But damn! I’m so tired and in pain ‘cause I don’t know how to unlove you!”

“You’re stupid.” Gavin left her there and immediately went to his room. His words were like a knife and left wounds inside her. Yes, she’s stupid.

She’s stupidly in love with him.

Manang Belen hugged her tight. She doesn’t usually interfere every time she has fought with her husband. Manang Belen still respects their privacy.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop insisting yourself on Gavin? He’ll just cause you pain.”

“Love is not a switch button. You can’t easily switch off your love for someone just because you’re in pain.”

Manang Belen hugged her tighter. Ayana was still lucky because she has still someone who comforted her when she can’t endure the sadness and pain anymore.

For the nth time, she smiled. That’s the last thing she could do.