Chapter 2 Hikigaya made up his mind

Hikigaya Hachiman gathered all his courage just to enter the classroom. He stepped inside with his head held high, but the scenario he imagined, where he would become the laughingstock of the entire class, thankfully did not occur. Instead, he remained his usual, unnoticed self. He quickly walked to his seat and sat down, secretly observing the class around him.

The first person to catch his attention was Kaori Orimoto, who was always the loudest and most captivating student in the room. At that moment, she was laughing and joking with a few of her female friends by the window, just as she usually did. In a small group like theirs, maintaining strong relationships over time often hinges on having shared interests. So now, Hikigaya wondered, what topic was currently generating the most excitement and interest among Kaori Orimoto and her friends?

The answer has come to you. 

"Ah! Hikigaya-san, you're here!" Orimoto walked toward Hikigaya enthusiastically. Her loud voice quickly caught the attention of the entire class. Her friends smiled at Hachiman without any attempt to hide their feelings. It was obvious they had already heard about what happened the night before from Orimoto. However, their smiles were not ones of ridicule or amusement; instead, they were genuine smiles that conveyed how interesting they found Hikigaya.

"It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over..." Hikigaya lamented in his mind. 

With 20 years of life experience from his previous life, Hikigaya understood that while physical growth is rapid during adolescence, emotional development often lags behind. Junior high school students are still learning to navigate their emotional intelligence. Behaviors, even those thought to be harmless or kind, can—unwittingly—inflict emotional harm on others with potentially irreversible consequences. This dynamic often leads to students unintentionally becoming participants in school bullying.

"Ahaha... What's the matter, Orimoto-san? Look, the teacher is coming soon. Why don't you go back to your seat?" 

Hikigaya desperately tried to stall. The entire class was watching them now, and if Orimoto revealed what happened the night before, it would be disastrous. "Damn it!" he thought.

However, Orimoto seemed oblivious to Hikigaya's attempts to redirect the conversation and continued speaking to him in the exuberant manner typical of junior high girls. 

"Hey, how did you come up with the idea of sending me a love poem yesterday? I didn't expect you to be so romantic!"

As the students in the class prepared for the lesson, this statement hit them like a bombshell, freezing them in place, unable to move—except for Orimoto, who was oblivious to the chaos she had caused.

"By the way, when I first saw the email last night, I didn't understand what you meant. I looked up the sentence you sent online, and then it clicked. It turns out that this poem was written by Dazai Osamu! I haven't read his works, thinking he was just someone who spread emo vibes. I guess I should read his books too."

Orimoto continued speaking rapidly. While Dazai Osamu might not fit the typical "emo" stereotype, Hikigaya Hachiman was on the verge of becoming emo himself at this moment. 

"Please, just stop..." Hikigaya could only shake his head mechanically.

Even with the experience from his past life, Hikigaya found himself unable to handle the current situation. Did Orimoto Kaori have any ulterior motives? It seemed she genuinely wanted to fulfill her promise from her reply last night: "to get to know Hikigaya better." She was even using Dazai Osamu as a conversation starter, trying to find common ground. If only the introduction hadn't stemmed from last night's confession, it would have been perfect.

"What are you all chattering about? Go back to your seats; class is about to start!"

Hikigaya didn't particularly like his Japanese teacher, but in this moment, the teacher's voice brought him some happiness. Although the storm had been slightly delayed by the start of class, Hikigaya at least had one period to think of countermeasures.

"..."

Hikigaya realized he was overthinking and couldn't calm his mind. During class, he could feel one or more pairs of eyes occasionally glancing his way. 

Kaori Orimoto was the catalyst for the class atmosphere. At this stage of junior high, many boys, including Hikigaya, had developed vague feelings for Orimoto. Their eyes showed admiration, curiosity, jealousy, and more. 

Hikigaya increasingly wanted to slap his former self. He thought, you could confess to anyone else, or even fall for a guy—why did you have to fall in love with someone like Orimoto Kaori?

The class didn't last long at all. As soon as the bell rang, the teacher hurriedly left, which Hikigaya found ruthless, further increasing his dislike for him. 

As expected, Orimoto approached him again, but this time, many other students came over out of curiosity, eager to hear some explosive news. 

"You're awesome, Hikigaya!" one boy exclaimed.

"I didn't expect you to do something so big without making any noise," commented another.

These boys were classmates Hikigaya wasn't particularly familiar with.

"Hey Hikigaya, can you repeat that love poem? I want to be more romantic too," another chimed in.

"Kaori is a good girl. You should focus more in the future, Hikigaya. Hahahahaha," joked one of Kaori's best friends.

"..."

Fortunately, the new Hikigaya was mentally stronger than his previous self. There was no malice in their words, so the first day following his failed confession passed in a noisy manner. 

However, the malice of junior high students doesn't take long to brew. When several boys confessed to Orimoto and faced rejection, they took their frustration out on Hikigaya, hoping to mask their own disappointment and avoid becoming targets of public ridicule. They believed that Hikigaya Hachiman, being ordinary and having little presence, had lowered Orimoto's opinion of boys. They also noticed Hikigaya took the same route home as another girl in the class every day. In reality, they only shared that route for a brief period, and he made sure to keep his distance from her to avoid misunderstandings. But the boys spread rumors that Hikigaya was in love with someone else and was a stalker. Such gossip quickly became popular in the tight-knit circle of junior high students, and within days, almost everyone knew about it.

...

The new Hikigaya found himself in a situation even worse than before. 

"God gave me a chance to start over, but aside from being able to walk, how am I different from my previous life? I am still lonely, misunderstood, and discriminated against," he thought, lying on his bed one dark and windy night, feeling emo. 

"Misunderstandings are hard to eliminate because they stem from pure malice. Everything they do is aimed at ruining your reputation. Junior high students lack judgment, making it difficult to convince them with reason. If the situation remains unchanged, the same issues will arise when they enter high school. So, there's only one way left…"

In his previous life, Hikigaya had wanted to become a writer—not only because he loved reading but also because creative professions like writing hold a high status in Japan. Many people in Japan look down on manga and anime, viewing them as inferior, and see those who are passionate about them as hopeless. However, they respect cartoonists. A cartoonist who can serialize in magazines and publish volumes is respected as a "writer." This distinction comes from the identity of being a creator.

If Hikigaya could become a recognized writer, he would naturally gain respect. This was not only to solve his current problem but also for his future life over the next few decades. 

"I want to be a writer," Hikigaya declared, firm in his resolve.

----