c26

The aftermath of the debacle at the Sunwell had very little to do with Harry and his group. In fact, aside from his promise to give Lor'themar Theron and Lady Liadrin a bit of magical plastic surgery to help with the cursed scarring on their faces, he didn't really expect to be involved at all.

Which was why he was confused when Prophet Velen showed up at the Guardian Tower.

"You took M'uru's heart." The ancient draenei said when questioned on the matter.

"Yes?" Harry still didn't know what he was getting at. "The Ashbringer is proof that a naaru's heart can be forged into powerful weapons. With M'uru being darkened, I was going to see if I can incorporate it into Colette's Voidblade."

The former death knight in question perked up at that. "Really? Mmm, to have a weapon as powerful as the Ashbringer… you sure do know how to get a lady excited."

"Don't get too excited." He teased back. "Part of why the Ashbringer is so powerful is because it leaks, for lack of a better word. The naaru heart acting as the keystone of its enchantment can be used to draw in unlimited Light magic, but It's far too easily corrupted for my tastes. M'uru's darkened heart will be used as a way to focus your contemplation of the Void, rather than as a quick and dirty power tap."

"It can still be brought back to the Light." Velen spoke up, bringing the conversation back from the small derail.

"Obviously." Harry agreed. "The Ashbringer's naaru heart was originally darkened as well and the Alliance paladins and clerics shifted its alignment back to the Light easily enough."

That genuinely seemed to put the white-bearded draenei off. "You have no intention of doing so?"

"What am I supposed to do with a Light-infused naaru heart? None of us specialize in using it."

"I do!" Sally Whitemane, who they were trying to include in more stuff as part of her ongoing therapy, spoke up.

They were all here, in fact, except for Garona, who was spending time with her uncle. Aurastrasza had been invited in her capacity as a spy for the Red Dragonflight, but the relatively young dragon had protested the designation and turned down the invitation.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to trust a fruitcake like you with that kind of power." Harry snorted. "I can already see you going 'ohohohohoho!' while burning people alive with pillars of Light."

"I would use it against the undead!" Sally shouted, pale cheeks flushing red.

"Tell you what, if I get my hands on another naaru heart, I'll use it for you if you can convince me that you no longer get turned on by the screams of burning people, be they alive or dead."

"I never derived… arousal from punishing the wicked!" Sally insisted.

"Nooo, just pleasure, right?"

Sally glared, but had no comeback. Everyone there knew that she definitely took enjoyment in her work. She had bragged about it earlier in her captivity with them.

"The naaru are not meant to be darkened." Velen sounded sad when he said that.

"The world is full of things that aren't meant to be." Harry shrugged carelessly. He could see now what the old man was angling at, but he wasn't going to go along with it.

"I was granted a vision of myself reigniting the Sunwell with M'uru's heart. The blood elves could have been redeemed." Velen said.

"We literally just finished kicking your old friend's teeth in when he tried to use the remains of the Sunwell as a portal to Azeroth." Harry replied, slightly incredulous. "And you want to restore the Sunwell and leave it guarded by a race on the brink of extinction? Why, so the Legion can try again? That agents of the Old Gods can try to corrupt it? That another traitor tries to use it for whatever harebrained scheme enters their mind. Absolutely fucking not."

"Empowered by Light, the blood elves could be a great force for good." Velen argued.

"Oh, so they can't be a force for good without it?" Harry countered, smirking. "That's awfully narrow-minded of you."

It was a common trait among those that delved deeply into the powers of the Light. They started seeing only 'one true way' of doing things and ignored all else. Inversely, Void users had a bad habit of accepting all paths as valid, which was why so many of them were amoral monsters. Harry could only be thankful that these forces had been much weaker in his home dimension, otherwise his dabbling would have done much worse than damaging his sense of empathy and making him occasionally impulsive.

That was the reason he would never trust the naaru. They were beings of extremes and lacked the ability to question their own actions. Velen, having been huffing the Light for so long, was clearly also afflicted by the same flaw. Sally was even worse, a large part of her psychotic behavior was tied to her innately deep connection to the Light.

"They might get their faith back now that they aren't starving for magic anymore." Luna piped up. "And I think some of them are thinking of going back to worshiping Elune."

Yes, Luna's temple in Stormwind was having moderate success proselytizing, but it was always after a major battle where people got to see her in action that she got the largest amount of people wondering if it would be so bad to worship the Moon Goddess.

Arko and Jessir didn't say anything, but they were also not liking the accidental implication that Velen had made. Della was sprawled over both their laps, the wolf having been especially needy for affection after the death and resurrection of her mistress.

"That is not what I meant." The ancient prophet shook his head with a sigh. "Of course it is possible to do good without the Light, but is it not better to have the Light always with you than not?"

"This is where we disagree – I don't believe that the Light is innately good." Harry replied. "As Sally here proved, you can absolutely be a vicious bitch with it."

While the former High Inquisitor squawked in outrage and got cuddled into silence by Luna for her troubles, Velen frowned. "There are always those who misuse even the most benevolent of powers, but that does not mean we should reach for the darker ones in the hopes of turning them to good."

"That's a good argument, I like it." Harry approved. "I'm going to ignore it because somebody on our side needs to be an expert on the darker powers, but it's a good argument all the same."

"Even to the point of dabbling with demons?" Velen changed the subject a bit. "I heard that you captured Sacrolash and Alythess. They were once bright stars among our people, powerful twin archmagi capable of feats of collaborative magic that none in our civilization could match."

"They were so cool!" Luna gushed. "I just knew that we had to have them when I saw the show they put on."

Everyone sighed, rolled their eyes or looked generally indulgent of her shenanigans. Unlike the priestess of Elune, who was clearly focused on the theatrics the eredar twins had gotten up to, the rest of them more keenly remembered how annoying it had been to fight a pair of powerful warlocks that were capable of covering for each other so perfectly.

"You will clearly not listen, so I will leave you with this final warning." Velen said gravely. "Do not underestimate Sacrolash and Alythess."

XXXXX

"What are you doing with those two eredar?" Arko asked after Velen left, her fingers digging into Della's thick fur.

"Do you know what a demon is?" Harry asked in a seeming non-sequitur.

"They are denizens of the Twisting Nether, seeking to corrupt and destroy the righteous!" Sally said passionately.

"They are indeed denizens of the Twisting Nether." Harry nodded at her. "But do you understand what that means?"

The former high inquisitor paused, confused by the direction of the conversation. Jessir and Arko were similarly unsure of what he was getting at.

"It means they're made up of fel!" Luna bounced on the couch, acting like an excitable schoolgirl. She was either really enthusiastic about the topic, or the two females at the core of it. Harry didn't think it was the former.

"Yes, fel." He steepled his fingers sinisterly. "A most peculiar and problematic element. It can take many forms and taints everything around it like radioactive waste."

"Radioactive waste? Like the stuff the gnomes flooded their home with?"

"Exactly like that." Although how the gnomes had figured out fissionable materials and not immediately made a bomb with it was extremely baffling. Truly it showcased the different mindsets between species.

"Alright, please continue."

"Thank you. Fel is a problem, because it is chaotic and chaos naturally breeds more chaos. This is what makes it such a potent source of power for warlocks and why it's so hard to deal with in a combat situation."

Give him time to work and the right tools and Harry could turn fel inert, separate it back to its component Light and Dark energies, reshape it as he pleased and do all manner of other things with it. Alas, there was no spell he could devise or substance he could concoct that would provide a simple and easy way to neutralize fel. That would be adding things to it, and chaos was rarely undone by adding more shit to the mix.

"Demons are, technically speaking, dead. By the mortal definition of the term, they died the moment they became demons. Effectively, they are just souls infused with fel, their bodies becoming merely an expression of their spirit given form by the malleable nature of fel. This is why so many of them mutate, and why the likes of Kil'jaeden could become so huge. That size is an expression of his ego more than anything to do with his power. I've heard that there are such things as pure demons, formed in the Twisting Nether without ever having been in the material plane, but I have my doubts. Pure fel seems to be nothing more than magical toxic sludge."

"What does this have to do with my question?" Arko asked, frowning.

"Attacking fel directly is inefficient and, in the case of demons, dangerous because they will fight back with their souls to give it force and purpose. It can be done, but as we've so recently experienced at the Sunwell, it's an uphill battle. Even if you win, they just get banished to the Twisting Nether and can try again at a later date after enough fel coalesces around them to reform their bodies. The key to defeating a demon lies not in attacking the fel, but its soul. And when is the soul most vulnerable?"

"During orgasm!" Luna hurried to answer.

Sally scoffed incredulously. "I hardly think that-"

"Exactly." Harry cut her off, agreeing with Luna and making the former high inquisitor gape in shock. "Sex magic is particularly insidious, because a person's guard instinctively drops during the moment of climax, especially if their partner is someone they trust. All manner of spells may be laid on a person when they are in such a state, spells that would otherwise never take hold as their soul rejects it."

"Harry, this had better not be your way of telling us that we need to agree to let you lay all the female demons in existence." Jessir stated flatly.

"Even I would prefer that you slay them." Colette agreed.

"Haha, no." Harry chuckled. "Not only would it be ridiculous to try capturing that many demons, some of them – such as Sacrolash and Alythess – are definitely skilled enough magic users to make penetrating them perilous even when they are bound with anti-magic shackles."

"Then what…" Arko trailed off when she saw what he had put down on the table. "Harry, that's a crystal penis."

It was indeed a crystal penis. Smooth, purple and made of many reflecting fractals. It was quite large and had a sort of curving hook at the base that was clearly meant to be inserted into a vagina.

"Yes." Harry nodded proudly. "The draenei have millennia of experience using crystals to make weapons, armor and all sorts of other stuff, all of it quite resistant to demonic corruption. Miall shared that knowledge with me and I have used it to create this: the Rod of Rebirth, the Cock of Cleansing, The Penis of Purification, the Shaft of Sanctification, the Demonbane Dildo, the…"

"Please stop!" Arko begged.

"You really should acquire some additional appreciation for the art of alliterative appeal, but alright." He agreed with a smirk.

"This is blasphmmmph!" Sally tried to protest, but Luna put a hand over her mouth.

"You want us to use it to undemonify the eredar twins." The priestess said with intense interest.

"Yep." Harry nodded. "I've been keeping them on the edge of orgasm for several days already, so they'll be desperate for a finish. Just fill that bad boy with purifying moonlight, pound them for a few minutes until they get used to it, then let them cum and flood their souls with Elune's girl juice. The fel will be blasted right out of them and we'll have a very different pair of twins on our hands."

There was silence for a full minute after this before Jessir spoke up.

"Elune cannot possibly be alright with this."

XXXXX

In the Astral Plane…

But Elune had a piece of herself in all of her followers, and thus knew the purity of Luna's intentions. After all, it wasn't the Highborne's debauchery that she had a problem with, only their self-destructive obsession with magical power.

XXXXX

"She is." Luna dashed the huntress' assumptions, moving Sally all the way into her lap to keep a firm hold of her squirming body.

"Just… why?" Arko asked plaintively, staring at the crystal sex object as if it would jump off the table. "Couldn't you have figured out a way that doesn't involve sex?"

"Well, yes, of course I could." Harry smirked at her. "But that would be both less fun and less reliable. The sexual method is an almost guaranteed success, whereas attempting to forcibly purify them with some kind of non-sexual ritual is just as likely to simply destroy their bodies and send them back to the Twisting Nether. Also, since the two of them are so closely linked, Luna can't do this alone. You're going to need to help her."

Colette started laughing.

XXXXX

"People always told me I was a strange one, but I think even they didn't realize how right they were." Arko muttered to herself, staring down at her crotch.

She had the crystal… accessory… lodged firmly, but comfortably, in her vagina, ready to be used. The worst part was that this wasn't even the first time she'd used such a sex toy. With a ratio of four females and one male, there was always a shortage of penetrative organs. Night elven culture was hardly unfamiliar with the concept of sex toys, although it was kept very discreet since they had left debauched culture of the Highborne behind. There were also persistent rumors of some druids getting creative with their powers…

In any case, Arko had used similar things before and enjoyed it quite a bit more than she had expected to. There was something to be said for the feeling of power and control when you were the one doing the penetrating.

"There's nothing wrong with being a little strange." Luna beamed brightly, her own crystal dildo swinging as she bounced excitedly on her feet. "That's the part that makes life interesting!"

But this was taking it a lot further than she was comfortable with. No matter how you dressed it up, they were about to penetrate the demonic eredar twins whether they liked it or not. Or, as Harry had put it ever so tactfully, they were going to rape the evil out of them.

Arko was deeply, deeply conflicted about the matter. The act itself was unarguably wrong and immoral, but the end result would be good and the targets were demons. Was doing evil unto evil a good thing if the end result was good? Was she showing weakness or moral fiber by hesitating?

Harry's ability to consistently walk right up to the line of what was acceptable and wave his hand over it while claiming that he still hadn't crossed it might have been impressive if she wasn't the one that had to deal with it.

"I'm just worried." Arko admitted, by now having no hesitation in unburdening herself to her friend and sister-wife. "Are we doing the right thing?"

"They'll thank us for it afterwards." Luna assured with utter certainty. "Right now, they don't even realize how much their souls are suffering with all that icky fel stuff polluting them and denying them peace."

Arko took a deep breath and gave a jerky nod, deciding to trust Luna and Elune knew what they were doing. "Alright."

The two of them entered the room where the eredar twins were being kept and were immediately treated to quite a sight.

The two demon females were bound side by side, back-first to slabs of rune-engraved rock, holes cut into them for their tails to fit through. They had adamantine bands around their wrists, biceps, thighs, ankles, neck and a big one around their upper abdomen just beneath the ribs, all engraved with runes of suppression. The position was predictably lewd, with their arms stretched up above their heads and legs bent and spread apart. There were clamps over their nipples and a tiny ring around the clitorises. A look slightly below also revealed buttplug jammed in their rectums. As a final piece, they were gagged, fanged teeth constantly gnawing on the bright red balls and trails of drool running from their mouths.

A wholly different sort of fluid was running from their exposed sexes, glittering faintly green with fel energy.

"By the goddess." Arko muttered, not entirely sure what she should be feeling about this.

She knew that this setup had originally been created for the purpose of interrogating succubi. The lustful demons were perverse enough to enjoy pain, so conventional torture was pointless, but they were much less able to withstand being denied release. She had never seen it before, but looking at the glazed, desperate eyes of the eredar twins as they writhed helplessly in their bonds, tails lashing furiously below them, she could definitely see it working.

Harry had apparently even gone to the trouble of healing them first, probably so that they couldn't be 'distracted' by the pain.

Being kept on the edge of orgasm for days on end might sound sexy – and Arko was willing to privately admit that she did find the sight kind of arousing – but it was definitely torture. More so for demons, since Harry didn't need to account for things like food and bathroom breaks.

"Come on, let's end their torment." Luna suggested kindly… although her lustful look and the way she was fondling her fake crystal penis showed that she wasn't being entirely altruistic about it.

"Right." Arko was grateful for the prodding, but firmly kept herself looking neutral. It would be embarrassing to admit that she was probably going to enjoy this as well.

As planned, priestess and paladin both drew on Elune's power, channeling it into their 'additions'. Arko found it easiest to treat the crystal penis as if it was her sword. Despite her skepticism about the Moon Goddess truly condoning this, the power flowed easily and the tool began to glow silver beneath the crystalline purple.

Maybe she didn't understand her goddess quite as well as she'd thought… maybe none of their people did. Go figure that Luna and her lack of preconceived notions would be the one most in tune with Elune.

"Which one do you want?" The priestess asked.

Arko really had no preference, so she just randomly pointed at the light red Alythess. "That one."

"Alrighty!" Luna agreed easily and stepped up to the shadowy purple Sacrolash.

The eredar twins had noticed them of course and their eyes were begging for… something. It was hard to say whether they just wanted it to stop or if they were eager for what was about to happen. Harry had been quite clear in telling them that Sacrolash and Alythess by this point weren't in any state to be thinking clearly, which was the whole point.

Arko gave one final uncertain look to Luna and received an encouraging nod, then she stepped between the red-skinned eredar's lewdly splayed open legs and gently began to push the crystal dildo in between her folds. Some inane part of her noted that eredar had much thicker labia than night elves.

Both warlocks moaned deeply in their throats as they were penetrated, bucking their hips as much as they were able in their bonds. Clearly, they weren't upset about the forced copulation and didn't care that it wasn't being doing by an organic member…

Spotting Luna already thrusting with an eager smile on her face, Arko shook off the rest of her hesitation and got to it. Fun wasn't the point of this, but she couldn't deny a certain thrill from doing it. She'd never had Jessir or Luna tied up before when they were using toys… maybe they would be willing to give it a try.

The eredar twins' moaning and squirming got worse as orgasm continued to elude them despite the extra stimulation. Their fel green eyes begged for release.

"I think they're ready." Luna murmured, reaching over to place her hand on the small of Arko's back. "You know what to do."

Of course she did, they had practice. Arko made her thrusts more forceful, and at the same time reached out towards Alythess with her spirit. She wasn't at all practiced with it, but the captured warlock was also in no state to resist. Her defenses were down and she immediately gave way to the paladin's intrusion to her soul.

A soul that was darkened and tainted by fel corruption, but currently extremely vulnerable all the same.

Arko reached out towards the adamantine band circle Alythess' abdomen and dragged her finger over what she'd been told was the primary control rune. It went dark and the warlock immediately started screaming into the gag as her long-denied orgasm abruptly crashed over her.

In that same moment, Arko also released the power stored in the crystal penis, pouring it into the demon. Just as Harry had assured her would happen, there was no resistance or bad reaction. Elune's purifying moonlight burned through the demon, making her glow from the inside out.

It only took a few seconds, then Alythess, her skin changed from red to pale silver, slumped in her bonds, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Next to her, the same had happened to Sacrolash, although she was a pale azure rather than silver.

"It worked!" Luna cheered, pulling out of the former demon and jumping over to hug Arko in her excitement.

Knowing better than to try dissuading Luna from the physical affection, Arko instead just maneuvered her slightly away. "Yes, it worked. Now how about the get them out of there? Harry's little gadgets are still… stimulating them."

Indeed they were. The purified eredar twins were still very much out of it, but their bodies occasionally spasmed from the continued stimulation.

"Ah, right!"

XXXXX

Sacrolash and Alythess woke up, as they did everything else, together.

That was unusual enough in and of itself, as demons did not sleep. The next thing they noticed was that they could no longer feel the fel or the Twisting Nether. Instead, there was a calm they had long forgotten, and the sense of a greater being watching over them. The closest comparison they had to it was Sargeras, but the Dark Titan could never feel so benevolent.

They rose from the bed in unison and stared at the people sitting at the foot of it.

"You have changed us." Sacrolash spoke.

"We are no longer demons." Alythess concluded the thought.

"I suppose you could say that you are demons of Elune, but that sounds silly." The mage they had fought in the Sunwell Plateau said.

"Quite." They chorused wrily.

"We never introduced ourselves, did we?" The priestess they had made an impulsive bargain with spoke up, smiling brightly. "I'm Luna and this is my husband Harry. Over there are our wives Arko'narin, Jessir Moonbow and Colette Blaumeux. And lurking over there in the corner is Garona Halforcen."

"Just Colette, please." The dark-haired woman said with an amused smile. "There is nothing left of the Blaumeux family other than memories."

"A pleasure." Sacrolash and Alythess purred.

With perfect mirror motions, they extracted themselves from the covers and sat with their legs curled under them, disregarding their nudity.

"Is it?" The one introduced as Arko'narin asked suspiciously. "You're not holding a grudge over what we did to you?"

"Not at all." They replied.

"We would have been punished quite severely for failing to delay you enough." Sacrolash said.

"So we are grateful that you spared us from that." Alythess concurred.

"Besides, we made a deal did we not?"

"We agreed to be your playthings if we lost."

"We lost, so that must mean we are your playthings now."

"And playthings do not decide how they are played with."

"Just like that?" Jessir asked bemusedly.

"We committed great evil as demons." Sacrolash frowned sadly.

At the time, spreading misery and chaos had been fun and seemed like the right thing to do. With the fel purged from their souls and replaced by the radiance of Mother Moon, it was a tapestry of pointless horror. Still, they were grateful to be taken off that path, forcefully though it was and as much as their memory would torment them for what they had done before.

"We would swear ourselves to you, Lady Priestess." Alythess said seriously, shifting to a kneeling position and bowing her head along with her sister.

"I accept!" Luna said quickly.

Sacrolash and Alythess rose back with identical smiles on their faces. "Thank you. Though we no longer wish to fight, we can aid you in other ways."

"We overheard that you wish for knowledge on the Burning Legion? We can provide that."

"And we would ask to be trained as healers under your guidance, Mistress."

"Huh, I guess you were right." Arko sounded impressed. "They really did make that 'heel-face-turn' thing you said they would."

"Told you." Harry shrugged smugly. "Spiritual beings are ridiculously susceptible to outside influence without any meat to act as a buffer. That's why I'll be making them physical bodies to inhabit as soon as possible. It wouldn't do to have Elune's influence supplanted by something else after all that effort we put into them."

"We would appreciate that." The eredar twins took no offense at the words. Having been trained as mages and after spending more than thirteen thousand years as demons, they knew well the risks of corruption and would prefer to stay as they were now.

"You said you don't want to fight?" Luna asked, getting confirmations from the eredar twins. "How do you feel about babies, then?"

Sacrolash and Alythess lowered their eyes in shame, remembering that they had done horrible things to a great many babies. "We would do anything to protect them."

"But would you like to have your own children?" Luna pressed.

The eredar twins didn't need to exchange glances to confirm what the other was thinking. Their thoughts had always been so closely in tune that it went beyond even telepathy. Neither one of them was a dimwit and Luna was being quite obvious about what she wanted.

They had still been relatively young when Sargeras came to Argus, not even three thousand years old, and their deep bond had made finding a mate… difficult. Eredar only took one mate in their whole lives. For the twins, who would only ever accept either a similarly in tune set of male twins or a singular male that could handle them both, that was a problem.

What Luna was suggesting was not ideal… but it wasn't entirely disagreeable either. Plus, they had killed many of their own kind while in Kil'jaeden's service. It felt only right bring a few into the world as a form of atonement.

"Could they be made full-blooded eredar?" They requested. As former archmages, Sacrolash and Alythess knew that there were magics which could affect how much of each parent the child took after. While they had nothing against half-breed children, they would like to see a resurgence of a pure and untainted eredar race to join the renamed draenei.

"Easily." Harry confirmed. "I can just tweak the bodies a bit to make sure the children take more after you than me."

"Then we look forward to being bred." Sacrolash chuckled dirtily, repositioning herself.

Alythess had also changed her position to mirror her sister's inviting posture. "Would you like to get in some practice first?"

"Weren't we going to ask them some questions about the Burning Legion?" Jessir asked plaintively.

"Two thousand years old and still so adorably naïve." Colette placed a hand on her cheek in a faux-charmed gesture. "Come on, Garona, let's leave the perverts to their playtime. Make sure to save some energy for me, Harry~."

"Don't act like you aren't a pervert, Colette." Arko yelled after the retreating woman in a huff, only getting wiggle of the fingers in response as she and the half-orc disappeared from the room.

And then there was… playtime.

XXXXX

Jaina had learned to fear invitations to the Guardian Tower. Not existentially, but personally.

"I thought you said you were going to interrogate them?" She asked tiredly.

"We did, they were very cooperative." Harry said.

"That's right, we revealed everything we know." The blue eredar, which had been re-introduced as Sacrolash, purred.

"It would be unconscionable to hide anything from our new mistress." The pale silver Alythess agreed, also purring.

Both of them were sitting on either side of a beaming Luna on the couch. Well, more like draping themselves over her.

"Aren't they great?" The priestess smiled widely, clearly very pleased with herself.

"You turned them from demons into… whatever this is." Her voice had taken on a flat tone. "How?"

"You don't want to know." Arko assured her, cheeks going a slightly darker purple.

"Under Harry's cruel ministrations, we had abandoned hope of salvation." Sacrolash began explaining dramatically.

"The noble paladin and Mistress Luna came to us in our torment and thrust the sacred rods of Elune into our bodies." Alythess picked up.

"We clenched with all our strength and accepted Elune's sacred light as it poured into our souls in a thick, gushing torrent. The Moon Goddess was merciful and embraced us despite our past misdeeds."

"Out of gratitude, we pledged ourselves to her priestess."

"A deal is a deal, after all, and we agreed to become her playthings if we were defeated."

Jaina was quite sure that nobody except Luna had actually expected that deal to be honored from either end. It reminded her of Harry's warnings about how the quirky priestess tended to get her way more often than not.

"So does this mean that your Battle Harem is expanding again?" She had to ask.

"Just the harem, not the battle." Sacrolash said teasingly, snuggling closer to Luna.

"Indeed, we are lovers now, not fighters." Alythess concurred.

"They're reliant on Elune for their existence now and need to stay close to a moonwell or a temple to keep from fading away." Harry explained. "And we kind of fucked with their souls by replacing the fel with moon juice, so their inclinations took a sharp turn… and the sex might have influenced that. Just a little."

"They're my first acolytes. Isn't that great?" Luna beamed happily. "We were talking about having them stay in the Stormwind temple when they aren't with us."

"Yes, Luna, fantastic." Jaina could only be droll as she turned to Arko, Jessir and Colette. "And you three are alright with this?"

"If they keep the others busy, that means I get to spend more time with Harry." Colette shrugged pragmatically.

"We did do this to them and they are, in a way, Elune's emissaries now." Jessir rationalized.

"And they're not bad looking." Arko admitted with the air of someone who had given up on something.

"Thank you!" The eredar twins chorused. "You are quite beautiful yourself."

Jaina decided to stop asking personal questions despite her nagging curiosity. "So, did you find out anything important about the Burning Legion?"

"Ladies, if you would tell Jaina what you told us?" Harry prompted.

"Fighting Sargeras directly is impossible." The eredar twins chorused.

The statement was absolute and allowed no argument, but Jaina couldn't accept it so easily. She turned to Harry to give him a pointed look. "That's it? You never struck me as a man to just give up."

Much as she would like him to on certain matters.

"Oh, I'm not giving up." He assured. "It's not like I ever thought it was a good idea to challenge Sargeras to a straight fight. Sacrolash and Alythess just provided a little… perspective, on how bad of an idea it would be exactly."

"Sargeras is the size of a planet, and a peerless warrior besides." Sacrolash took up the implied prompt.

"He is impervious to all weapons not made of immortal essences, and highly resistant even to those." Alythess added.

"No mortal magic can harm him."

"Even simply being in his presence is fatal, for his body radiates enough heat to be felt a thousand kilometers away."

"Sooo, yeah, fighting him is out of the question." Harry exhaled gustily. "We're going to need to work around him."

Jaina wouldn't say it to his face because she didn't want to encourage him, but she did respect how he didn't give up simply because the odds were steep. She knew that many people would immediately lose hope upon hearing how powerful the Lord of the Burning Legion was. It had happened to two thirds of the eredar race and she knew that if it happened to a lesser percentage of humans, it would only be because they were more ignorant on average.

"You have some ideas?" She ventured.

"Some." He confirmed. "And it isn't all bad news. It turns out that Illidan Stormrage has been his usual cheeky self."

Jaina's brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

The eredar twins took it upon themselves to answer. "Long ago, Sargeras created an artifact called the Sargerite Keystone."

"It is a fel-corrupted titan artifact that allows the wielder to open portals to any Legion world, from anywhere in the universe."

"It was given to the keeping of Brood Queen Tyranna on the shattered world of Mardum."

"But Illidan Stormrage must have learned of it while sacking Nathreza, the homeworld of the nathrezim."

"He sent his Illidari demon hunters to Mardum and they stole away with the Keystone after slaying Tyranna."

"With the Keystone, it is possible to reach Argus, the closest thing to a homeworld the Burning Legion has."

"And upon Argus, being tortured ceaselessly in an effort to break them, are the souls of the titan Pantheon."

"If we could free them…!" Jaina sat up, mind racing. Obviously, the Pantheon had already been defeated by Sargeras once before, but it was still a much better chance than anything else they had.

"It will be no small task." Sacrolash warned.

"Argus crawls with powerful demons." Alythess took over. "Sargeras has twisted the planet's world soul to use it as fuel to rapidly reform any that fall."

"Antorus, The Burning Throne, where the Pantheon's souls are held, is the Legion's most important stronghold, guarded by the most powerful demons. Chief among them are the avatars of Aggramar, Sargeras' former apprentice, and Argus the Unmaker."

"Besides, we don't have the Sargerite Keystone." Harry reminded them. "And I don't think Illidan is the type to just hand it over if we ask politely."

That was undoubtedly true. "Well, this at least explains why Illidan's defense of Outland was so weak. He was focused on something else the whole time."

"How is that going, by the way?" He asked.

"The Black Temple is under siege last I heard." Jaina said, frowning.

"I don't suppose the Horde and Alliance could be convinced to just maintain it?" Harry ventured. "Illidan might be an asshole, but he's a competent asshole. I can work on weakening the demons on Argus, then we leave the suicide mission of assaulting it to him and, if we're lucky, two of our problems take care of each other."

"I… don't think anyone would agree to that." So help her, Jaina didn't think she would go for that. The reports she'd been getting on Illidan's actions in Outland painted him as little better than the Burning Legion. "And how would you weaken the demons on Argus without the Sargerite Keystone anyway?"

"I'm glad you asked! Do you remember that little side project of mine where I tried to make drugs for demons."

"I thought you gave up on that?"

"Haha, no, I just ran into some issues. With demon biology not even really being biology, the vast differences in power between them and the many forms they take, concocting something that would work on all of them has been a pain in the ass. To top it off, it also had to be subtle, pervasive and extremely addictive and I needed to get into contact with a demon that could act as a dealer. That last issue was solved by Sacrolash and Alythess."

"We know quite a few well-connected and ambitious succubi on Argus." The eredar twins smirked.

"And what does this drug do?" Jaina asked, curious in spite. Harry seemed to know what he was doing when he talked about drug distribution, which was honestly not all that surprising.

"At the moment, nothing." He harrumphed. "I'm hitting a roadblock in my attempts to engineer a plant that will do what I want and be able to thrive in fel-saturated soil at the same time. My skill at druidism is just too limited, so I'm going to have to ask Malfurion for help."

"Please don't create a diplomatic incident by asking the Archdruid to help you make demonic Black Lotus." Jaina begged.

"That hallucinogen apprentices in Dalaran like to chew to 'expand their minds'?" Harry made mocking air quotes. "Don't worry, what I'm intending to make will be much worse."

"We'll ask nicely." Luna assured. "We have to introduce Sacrolash and Alythess to Tyrande anyway."

Hopefully, the leaders of the night elves would take it well.

"I hope you aren't stretching yourself too thin?" Jaina changed the subject again, knowing that it was pointless to try talking them out of anything. "The invasion into Northrend is due to launch soon and I know you were intending to be heavily involved in that."

"If Illidan gets killed and can't do his part, then we'll just have to postpone any actions against the Burning Legion." Harry acknowledged. "Having him do all the heavy lifting would be ideal, but if I can engineer a drug problem on Argus then waiting for it to spread will be for the best anyway. Honestly, my biggest concern is that Azshara will try something at the worst possible time."

"It could be centuries before she acts." She reminded him.

"I know!" He exclaimed in frustration. "This is why I hate dealing with ageless beings – they act like everyone has time to wait for them to be in the mood."

"Hey." Arko and Jessir protested.

"Don't you 'hey' me. If we left the decision-making up to you we'd be having sex once a decade and you'd train maybe once a month."

"You do need to be prodded a bit." Colette contributed with a small grin.

The two night elves stewed silently, but offered no rebuttal. Jaina wasn't surprised, having long since noted herself that long-lived beings were slow to take action unless there was an immediate threat.

"Hmm, perhaps you are on to something." Sacrolash mused.

"Indeed, we were still apprentices when we reached our thousandth year." Alythess agreed.

Taking that long to get anything done was unfathomable to Jaina, but she was too polite to say it. "Was there something you wanted to ask me or was this just to introduce your new… associates." She certainly wasn't going to call them pets or playthings or whatever!

"Well I was hoping that you'd say that between the two of us we have enough clout to convince the Horde, Alliance and Illidan to the negotiation table, but I suppose that's not very likely?" Harry's tone was more of a resigned sigh than anything hopeful.

"I'd sooner expect Thrall and Varian to become best friends." Jaina grimaced. "Both factions are eager to pull their armies out of Outland and they're both angry at what they've seen the Illidari getting up to. To say nothing of the locals who have their own bone to pick or Illidan himself. Communications have completely broken down."

"Annoying shithead and his anti-hero complex." Harry grumbled. "Well, never mind that then, let's move on to the real reason I asked you here."

"Yes?" Jaina asked warily, bracing herself for another attempt at seducing her.

"Are you ready to start wearing armor into combat like a sane person? I noticed that you got a little singed during the battle with Kil'jaeden."

"Are you still on this?" She deflated a bit.

"We just want you to be as safe as possible." Luna spoke up, her voice gently chiding.

Jaina still didn't think she needed it, but Harry was hardly the only one that was nagging her about this. Aegwynn had mentioned wearing something more substantial a few times as well and Rhonin agreed with him on the subject of armor.

"I will… consider it." She grudgingly conceded.

"Progress! Today armor, tomorrow your hand in marriage!"

"No!" She snapped, blushing. "This? This is exactly why I didn't want to agree to anything. You always do this!"

"I strive for consistency." Harry agreed unapologetically.

"You are consistently annoying."

"She's right." Arko supported her. "And all those Elune-damned puns…"

"But Elune enjoys the puns." Luna was clearly puzzled.

"Hmm, perhaps we should try to make more use of them, then?" Sacrolash suggested.

"We should do what we can to ingratiate ourselves with our new goddess." Alythess agreed.

"…Are you sure you got all the evil out of them?" Jessir questioned, directing a suspicious look at the eredar twins.

It was a good question. Jaina wasn't sure if she could survive having those two tossing out puns as well.

XXXXX

Archbishop Benedictus had been doing better recently. His talks with the Lady Luna had helped shore up his faltering faith and the recent restoration of the Forsaken had taken it further. When his lost mentor, the deceased Archibishop Alonsus Faol, walked through the doors of the Church of Holy Light in Stormwind, apparently having been raised into undeath and freed from the Scourge during the Banshee Queen's rebellion against the Lich King… well, Benedictus would say that his faith was firmer and deeper than ever now.

He had much to be grateful to Lady Luna and her husband for… but he still never quite learned how to handle her.

"Benedictus! Hiiii!" The woman in question greeted exuberantly as she nearly skipped her way into the church. Fortunately, there was no ceremony ongoing, but the lack of solemnity was still quite jarring.

"Lady Luna." Alonsus, who had refused to retake his position as archbishop, but accepted to stay as a guest, smiled at her.

"Alonsus, you're here too?" The tall woman was clearly happy about that. "That's great! I want you to meet Sacrolash and Alythess, they're my acolytes!"

Benedictus had noticed the two draenei walking behind Luna. They were of a slightly peculiar coloring, being light blue and silver, respectively, and their eyes glowed silver instead of the sorcerous purple or blue so common to their race. It was likewise odd that Luna would have draenei acolytes, considering that as far as he knew, they were followers of the Light. Then again, Luna always was an odd one.

Their clothes were another oddity. While the doctrines of the Holy Light did not put too much emphasis on modesty or chastity and some priestesses did like to customize their robes to be more alluring… these two took it a bit far in his opinion. Their 'robes' were little more than loincloths and straps across their breasts, hiding practically nothing.

"Greetings." They chorused in perfect unison.

Now that he really looked, they could only be twins.

"A pleasure." Benedictus said politely, turning back to Luna with a curious expression on his face. "I was not aware that you also preached the teachings of Elune on the Exodar?"

Prophet Velen was without question the most powerful and learned priest of the Light on Azeroth, and his much diminished race put great stock in his teachings. It was puzzling that Luna would manage to gain two converts from the draenei.

"I don't, Sacrolash and Alythess used to be high ranking warlocks in the Burning Legion." Luna corrected his assumption.

Benedictus paused, wondering if his hearing was going.

"You converted a pair of warlocks to Elune?!" But no, Alonsus had clearly heard the same thing, if his incredulity was anything to go by.

"Demons, technically, but yes." Luna nodded.

"HOW?!"

"We were captured." Sacrolash began dramatically, posing, of all things.

"Left at the mercy of her husband." Alythess continued, adopting a perfect mirror pose to her sister.

"Sexually tortured for endless days!"

"That was when Luna came, along with Arko'narin, the first moonlight paladin."

"They thrust the love of Elune deep into our bodies."

"It purged the poisonous fel from our souls and left us born anew."

"We begged Luna to guide us in the ways of Elune."

"And now we are here."

"Yep, that's how it was." Luna nodded sagely to the twins, smiling widely at their ridiculous performance and even more ridiculous poses. "Anywho, all of that warlock stuff they used before is pretty useless now, so I'm trying to get them up to speed on healing and protection spells, but ummm, I'm kind of a bad teacher? Harry is busy and he doesn't use magic like a priest anyway, so I figured I'd ask you for help. They used to be archmages before they turned into demons, so it shouldn't take too long."

There was silence for a while, and then Alonsus started chuckling. "Demons, she converted demons."

"We already said that." Luna said, more in concern than irritation. "Are you feeling alright, Alonsus?"

"Luna, are you sure this is… wise?" Benedictus managed to ask.

"Of course! Why wouldn't it be?"

Such a simple question, but so very hard to answer.

"You needn't concern yourself about betrayal, Archbishop." Sacrolash said.

"A bargain was struck between us." Alythess, by now predictably, took over speaking.

"We are fully dedicated to our new lady and to Elune."

"We will heal the sick and punish the wicked."

"In the name of the Moon!" They finished together, posing again.

Why were they always posing?!

"Aren't they the coolest thing you've ever seen?!" Luna squealed excitedly, very much not acting her age. She got in between them and hugged both of the former demons close to her, and they responded by pressing themselves close to the priestess in a manner that made Benedictus feel very hot under the collar.

"Yes, very 'cool'…" He agreed weakly, not really sure what that even meant.

"I suppose Azeroth can never have too many healers." Alonsus said with resigned humor.

XXXXX

Aurastrasza walked through the halls of the Guardian Tower, claws gently clicking on the black marble floors. She no longer looked like a generic high elf. Instead, Luna had convinced her to show more of her true nature – her legs and arms were draconic below the knee and elbow, her eyes were golden, horns grew from her head, a tail flicked out behind her and scales shimmered across other parts of her body.

The young red dragon had to admit that it was nice not having to hide her true nature. The older, more worldly dragons had always said that mortals tended to get distracted by it even if they were not hostile or fearful. Granted, Luna certainly was distracted… but in a good way.

Aurastrasza had initially been a little embarrassed when the quirky priestess had asked to care for her claws, horns and scales, but she had allowed herself to be convinced to try it. Now she wondered how she'd ever lived without having some kind of gold-based oil rubbed into her scales. They were so shiny!

Another thing she'd gotten used to was sweets. Dragons, as a general rule, didn't need to eat much, intensely magical beings that they were. That meant that Aurastrasza had been seriously missing out on delicious concoctions like hot chocolate!

The kitchen should be empty right now, so she could make herself a cup and then go back to keeping an eye on the moonlight dragon whelps.

But it wasn't empty. Harry was sitting at the table with a cup of tea, seeming deep in thought.

"Aurastrasza." He greeted with a knowing smirk. "Hot chocolate?"

Refusing to be embarrassed by her sweet tooth, she simply nodded and sat down at the table with him. "Yes, please."

"Coming right up."

He puttered at the counter for a minute before coming back with a large cup of delicious dark sweetness.

"Thank you." She said as he placed it in front of her, smiling eagerly.

"Wait just a moment…" He asked, and pulled a small vial from… somewhere.

"What is that?" The red dragon asked curiously. She could sense life in that vial.

"Just a little something that I think you'll appreciate." He smirked. "Normally, I wouldn't expect it to do anything for an immortal being, but with the Red Dragonflight being connected to life, I think you'll like it.

Aurastrasza wasn't a naturally suspicious person, so she didn't really consider that it might be harmful and let him pour it into her drink. The liquid was strangely both clear and opaque, a contradiction that only magic could achieve, and it disappeared into the hot chocolate without having to be stirred.

"There, give it a try." He invited.

Aurastrasza did, taking a cautious sip. Her golden eyes widened in surprise. Not only was it deliciously sweet, but it tasted of raw life force. Warmth spread through her body as if someone had managed to turn some of Alexstrasza's flames into a drink.

"This is very good!" She complimented, taking a deeper drink before pacing herself to make it last. It was too good to just gulp down all at once.

"I'm glad you like it." Harry smirked again. "So, how are the whelps doing?"

"Climbing over everything and getting into play fights all the time." Aurastrasza said wrily. "They are much more wild than the red whelps I am used to looking after, although no less energetic. It will take some effort to socialize them properly, although they are fortunately good-natured."

She didn't mention that she was very much enjoying herself. Whelps from the Five Flights had much of their intelligence passed down to them from their parents, which meant that they became properly sapient very early on in their lives. The moonlight whelps would remain cute and playful for a lot longer.

"That's good to hear." He nodded. "Would you like an update on anything from me?"

Aurastrasza sighed and looked down at her cup of hot chocolate. "Why do you insist on thinking that I am a spy for the Red Dragonflight?"

"That's just how the game is played." He shrugged. "Alexstrasza is considered the de facto leader of the dragons and she's had enough bad stuff happen to her that it would only be natural for her to be a bit paranoid. In her shoes, I would certainly be wary of an archmage dabbling in projects of a dubious nature. And since I don't want there to be any misunderstandings, I would like to assuage any worries she might have. If you don't like the term 'spy' then consider yourself a liaison."

That did sound better, although Aurastrasza didn't think she was qualified for such a position. "Alright then, what have you been working on?"

"I'm glad you asked!"

And he started telling her all about his current projects. The collaboration with Archdruid Malfurion Stormrage to create an addictive, self-perpetuating poison that would subtly undermine the strength of the Burning Legion. The final preparations for the invasion into Northrend, his efforts to keep down tensions between the Horde and the alliance, even his ongoing secret efforts to tilt the balance of strength in favor of the Alliance because he didn't trust the orcs to behave themselves.

Aurastrasza thought that last bit to be especially dangerous if it became widely known… but she could not help but approve. None of the Red Dragonflight had forgotten or forgiven what the orcs had done to Alexstrasza. They could understand that the Dragonmaw Clan was not part of the current Horde and that Thrall would not tolerate such behavior, but the orcs would have to put in a lot of effort indeed before that stain was wiped away.

Her hot chocolate was all gone by the time the recitation came to an end and the warmth of the elixir he had added to it spread throughout her body. Harry stood to put away the cups and then returned, but not to sit at the table. Instead, he came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

There were patches of scales across the elven flesh there, but not enough to stop him from ever so pleasantly digging his fingers into the muscle.

"What are you doing?" She asked nervously. Luna's rather insistent physical affection meant that she wasn't too startled at being touched, but this felt altogether different from the quirky priestess.

"You seemed a bit tense after all that heavy talk, so I figured you could use a little… relaxing." He replied smoothly.

Well, it was true that Aurastrasza wasn't exactly used to these kinds of plots and intrigues. There had been talk about rejoining the world more instead of hiding away in their sanctums and she had been considering doing her part in that before the opportunity to look after the moonlight dragon whelps came up, but she knew that she had lived a rather sheltered life on the whole.

And the shoulder rub did feel good. Not as good as having Luna rub gold oil into her scales, but still very good. Then Harry cast some kind of spell on his fingers and the feeling penetrated deeper. Her tail writhed in at the pleasure and a deep, definitely draconic growl rumbled from her throat.

A few minutes later, she was lying down on a soft bed with Harry above her. Both of their clothes had been removed on the way, but she didn't think much of it. For dragons, clothes were just accessories, meant to look pretty rather than cover anything.

It was only when his hands started wandering high up her legs that she remembered the warning Arko gave her, about how Harry or Luna might try to seduce her. Aurastrasza considered whether she was willing to mate with Harry right now and decided that yes, she was. The massage felt really good and the raw life force he had added to her hot chocolate tingled through her veins pleasantly.

She had never mated with anyone before, but instinct guided her. She rose up on her knees and shook her rear end at him invitingly, her tail raised up out of the way.

He didn't hesitate and gripped her thighs, his erect member prodding at her entrance. Moments later, he was sliding inside.

Aurastrasza's breath caught at the feeling of her flesh being parted and stretched. She was just so small in this form. She thought about making herself a bit bigger to better accommodate him, but couldn't muster the concentration. Instead, her body seemed to clamp down on the invading member. Thankfully it didn't hurt, despite feeling as though it was always on the very edge of painful.

Then he was fully sheathed inside her and the red dragon breathed heavily at the feeling of fullness. It was… really good. Harry held on to her hips and just ground himself against her, letting her adjust to him.

"Are you ready?" He asked about half a minute later, his voice deep, rumbling and full of lust.

Aurastrasza was more than ready. Her tail curled around his arm and she pushed back with her whole body. "Yes!"

He didn't hesitate and pushed forward again, then pulled out a little and thrust back inside.

Aurastrasza cried out in surprise at the feeling. It was better than she expected it to be, either because the mortal form she'd taken was more sensitive than her dragon body or because she was just so ready. Whatever the case, her hands clawed at the sheets her breaths started to come in harsh pants as she let herself just enjoy mating with the powerful mage.

He set a slow pace to begin with, keeping a firm grip on her hips and making sure that he sheathed himself all the way to the hilt every time. Aurastrasza liked it, but soon her body began craving more and she wiggled against him in a silent request for more.

He obliged at first by increasing the strength of his thrusts, making her head dip down in an instinctive sign of submission. Then her surprised her by grabbing her horns and using them as handholds while he sped up his pace.

Rather than being offensive, his aggressive and dominant manner was tickling her instincts fiercely. It was the way of dragons for the stronger to take the lead role during mating and Aurastrasza had never been a particularly powerful dragon. Being taken so boldly felt natural.

The quick, harsh pace was quickly bringing them both to climax. Aurastrasza could feel it in the tension of her body and in the slight raggedness of his motions. Her tail curled around his waist and pulled him close as if to stop him from even thinking of releasing anywhere but inside.

Not that he had any such intentions. He pulled on her horns and changed to short, rapid thrusts in a clear build up to climax. The anticipation did at least as much for her own impending orgasm as the physical stimulation and she gave herself fully to the sensations, breaths turning into short, rapid pants.

Then it happened. He thrust inside with a harsh grunt and didn't pull back out. His member throbbed and pulsed before his seed gushed forth from it, filling her up. Aurastrasza cried out, her body clenching up with pleasure and her inner walls contracting to squeeze out as much as possible out of him. And he had plenty to give, filling her transformed body up with a sticky warmth that tingled against the flesh and drew out the orgasmic pleasure.

Harry let go of her horns once it was over and put his hands back on her waist, but didn't pull out. They quietly stayed that way for a while and Aurastrasza didn't mind. She could feel his seed oozing deeper into her and idly wondered if it was possible for a mortal to fertilize a dragon. She had never heard of it happening… but it wasn't like dragons frequently mated with mortals either.

Her lazy thoughts were interrupted when she felt his member going hard again. He pulled out and spun her around so that she was on her back. Then he nudged her legs apart and took hold of her wrists, leaning down until their faces were barely an inch apart.

"You know that ever since I've come to Azeroth I've wondered… could I impregnate a dragon?" He said suggestively.

Aurastrasza looked into his green eyes and saw that he had no intention of stopping at just once and that he would make every effort to fertilize her. More heat burst into being in her belly and she lined up her pelvis with his member. "I don't know."

He took the invitation for what it was and sheathed himself back inside her, pressing his lips to hers in a bruising kiss.

"Let's find out." He stated more than suggested and cut off any response with another kiss.

This position didn't feel as natural as having him take her from behind, but Aurastrasza didn't mind it. Bipedal mortal bodies had so many options that it would be a shame to not explore them.

XXXXX

Far away, in ruined Lordaeron, Luna suddenly paused.

"What is it?" Sacrolash asked, noticing the distraction,

"Do you sense something?" Alythess added to the inquiry.

"Rogue undead?" Sally Whitemane's own question was a mix of hateful and eager.

The four of them had come to this land to aid in the efforts of purging the necromantic taint. It was a good way to practice with their powers while also doing some good. And it was hoped that seeing her homeland cleansed would do some good to Sally's state of mind.

"No, it feels like something really great just happened." Luna smiled. "I can't wait to find out what it is!"

XXXXX

OMAKE – Graduation Day

"… distinguished guest speaker, Sunnydale's own mayor!" Principal Brooks announced enthusiastically, ceding the podium.

Nobody had been sad when Snyder got replaced a few months ago without any explanation.

Harry rose from his seat and stood in front of the microphone, instantly silencing all conversation with his sheer presence. Unlike his preferred casual wear, Joyce had insisted on having him wear a suit for the occasion.

Said suit, comprised of a dark jacket, crisp white undershirt, black tie and perfectly pressed black slacks, was doing a very poor job of making him look like a politician. Business suits were generally not made for people with that much bulk to them. Even with a custom job and a little magical enhancement, it looked like it was about to burst at the seams.

Joyce may have had ulterior motives in having him wear the suit.

Some people surely wondered why their new mayor was so huge, why his eyes glowed or why he had pointed ears... or why he had four wives when polygamy was illegal in the state of California, two of which were visibly and blatantly not human. This being Sunnydale, nobody asked these questions.

"High school." He began contemplatively. "A curious place where time, space and irony intersect. You learned many lessons here, most of them having nothing whatsoever to do with what your teachers were talking about. Don't let that bother you – despite what you may have been led to believe, the odds of you ever needing anything academia-related that you learned in high school is minimal."

"Oh my God…" Joyce moaned in embarrassment, hiding her face in her hands.

"Don't worry, Joyce, he knows what he's doing." Luna whispered supportively.

"Does he really?" Jessir spoke up with a bemused smirk, side-eyeing to collection of teachers standing at the side. "The teachers look crushed."

"I really don't understand your education system." Arko muttered. "What kind of sense does it make to have one teacher talking to a group of twenty or more people with no practical work? I'd have fallen asleep in minutes!"

"Well, he did say it was a bad system." Colette shrugged.

Harry had used significantly stronger language to describe it.

"Being something of an educator myself, it seemed wrong to not take this opportunity to impart a valuable lesson upon your impressionable young minds when I had a chance. For this reason, I would like to invite your class Valedictorian to join me at the podium – Faith Lehane."

The dark Slayer, no longer wearing thick makeup or trashy lipstick, looked like just another graduating teenager in her red gown and cap. Upon coming up to the podium to stand beside Harry, she flashed everyone a grin and the horns. There was only one problem.

"Some of you may protest that Faith is not part of your class, was never part of your class, did not actually graduate high school anywhere, nor would she have been the best academic even if she did." Harry conceded to the confused murmurs, giving a nod towards a certain redhead in the crowd of sitting students. "That particular distinction belongs to Willow over there – sorry about stealing your thunder, sweetie, but Daddy has a point to make."

Willow immediately forgot any indignation about having Faith steal her title in favor of wishing for the gates of Hell to open up and swallow her to spare her the embarrassment. Alas, the Hellmouth was firmly under control and refused to cooperate.

"You see, Faith is this year's Valedictorian because of nepotism. Sheer, unbridled nepotism." Harry continued, putting an arm around the Slayer's waist. "Out in the real world, you too will be denied what you earned because some asshole wanted to give it to his friends or family. Or in this case, because he thought it would be funny. I am the asshole today, in case you were wondering. I'm not even supposed to have any input into who the class Valedictorian is, which brings me to my second life lesson – the theory and the practical are two wildly different things."

"What is he saying?!" Joyce hissed incredulously.

"It seems like a good lesson to me." Colette shrugged again, getting nods of agreement from the other women.

"The organized educational aspects of high school were all theory, and thus worthless because nobody gives a shit about theory in a vacuum. As a technical part of the United States Government, I apologize for wasting four years of your time with this overcomplicated daycare center for teenagers. During this period of your lives, you should have been learning valuable skills and engaging in awkward human mating rituals. Theoretically, you were doing that. Practically, you were pretending to do that. To make up for this travesty – but mostly because all of my kids are in this class – there will be a barbeque at my place. Everyone is invited, including the teachers and staff of Sunnydale High, because you poor bastards don't deserve this place either."

The crowd, which had ranged from confused to indignant by this point, was drowned out by the cheers of many teenagers.

"I should have checked his speech." Joyce muttered, mortally embarrassed.

"Why?" Luna asked, puzzled. "He'd just say whatever he wants anyway."

XXXXX

"Great party, Buffy." One of the football team said to her, grinning widely and holding a cup of something.

Buffy gave him a fake smile and kept walking over to the drink's table. There were two drink tables, actually. One for non-alcoholic drinks and the other for alcoholic ones. The latter had a sign next to it.

Alcoholic beverages!

You're old enough to know what happens when you get drunk, so I don't want to hear any whining about who you had sex with while under the influence. If you don't trust Drunk You's decision making, then don't get drunk. Offenders will be mocked.

Anyone slipping drugs into the drinks will spend their summer working in a brothel in Thailand.

That was just so typically Harry, and she didn't think it was an idle threat either. Buffy poured herself a cup of juice and slowly walked towards the grill, where the rest of the Scoobies were hanging out.

If they could even still call themselves that. It wasn't like there was anything to Slay in Sunnydale anymore. She knew that Faith had gotten as antsy about it as her, if not more so, but unlike Buffy she had an outlet.

Harry had noticed and, contrary to most fathers, instead of trying to keep her away from fighting all that goes bump in the night, had just asked if they wanted to go on a Slaying field trip. Buffy had refused, Faith had not.

Since then, she'd heard that the demons in the neighboring hell dimensions lived in fear of the dark Slayer's cackling rampages, because she wasn't sent in with just a stake. Oh no, that wasn't good enough for daddy's little girl. Instead, she went in armed and armored to the teeth.

Buffy was not bitter, she just wished that the rest of the Scoobies were a little more suspicious of what was going on!

"Hey, Buffster." Xander greeted when she joined them. "Want some stegosaurus?

"What?" She asked in confusion, staring at the large grills that he and Harry were manning.

"Stegosaurus." Faith repeated with a grin. It was still strange seeing her without the heavy makeup, though she kept her leather-based fashion sense. "Dad took X-man and me hunting."

Buffy twitched. Her fellow Slayer's easy willingness to call the extradimensional wizard god her father always gave her some very mixed feelings. "Hunting stegosaurus."

"Yep." Xander popped the P with a grin. "Turns out that there's plenty of dimensions out there where dinosaurs are still alive and kicking."

"And you went there to kill them." Giles sighed in disappointment, staring down at his plate with a conflicted expression. "I wish I could say I was surprised. Americans…"

"I'll have you know that I was born in Britain." Harry revealed casually. "And let me tell you – that British pride is going to take a pummeling in the next few decades if history unfolds the same way in this world as it did in mine."

"Why?" Giles asked with clear trepidation. "What happens?"

"I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."

"Oh dear." Giles looked even more worried now.

"So, Buffy!" Willow cut in chirpily, obviously intending to change the subject. "Are you excited to start classes at Sunnydale University in September?"

The normality of going to college might have been more attractive if she had needed to Slay regularly. As it was, Buffy actually dreaded the start of classes.

"Wills, come on, we just got out of school." Xander complained. "I'm still upset that we didn't get to blow it up."

"I'm going to Hollywood." Cordelia cut in excitedly. "I'm getting tutored for a couple of months and then right into a mid-level acting job!"

"How?!" Buffy demanded in confusion. While she might not be interested in an acting career like Cordy, she did know that you didn't just get acting jobs lined up and waiting unless you were already famous.

"Bribery and threats." Harry said sagely, flipping a big slab of meat on the grill. "The most common way for pretty young women to get a foot through the door in the acting business is with prostitution, but I wasn't going to let my little girl do that, so I astral projected over to some big name producer and… persuaded him to give her a chance."

Buffy could only stare at him with her jaw hanging. He was just coming out and admitting something like that?! And nobody seemed surprised… She knew that she'd avoided spending time with the wizard, but what the hell had she missed?!

"Aww, thanks so much… Dad." Cordelia mumbled the last part with clear embarrassment.

"Haha, that's four down, two to go!" Harry cheered, reaching over to pull her into a hug.

"Four?" Faith asked, confused. "Isn't Cordy only the second one to give in and call you daddy so far?"

"Xander and Oz did it, too, in their hearts." Harry replied, nodding at him. "We're men, so it doesn't need to be said. We just know."

"Yep, there's no need to get weird." Xander quickly agreed, with visible relief. He pointedly didn't refute anything, though.

"Mmm." Was Oz's only response. The werewolf had been taught how to control his inner beast and wasn't forced to transform by the moon anymore.

"I'm not going to call you my dad." Buffy huffed. "Ever."

Willow, the other person who hadn't done so yet, squirmed uncomfortably in place. The redhead didn't just have a terrible poker face, she had terrible poker body language in total. She was probably going to be calling the wizard 'dad' before the summer was over. That would leave Buffy as the last holdout against this insanity.

"So, Buffy!" Willow repeated the same chirpy line from before, once again obviously trying to divert attention. "University classes?"

"Yeah, I guess that'll be cool." She said unenthusiastically.

"I can't believe you're wasting your time with more school." Faith shook her head. "Why read books when you could kick ass?"

"Leave it be, Faith." Harry chided gently. "Not everyone figures out what they want to do as quickly as you."

"X-man did." The dark-haired Slayer pointed out.

"Hmmm, fall asleep in class or learn to be a badass demon hunter?" Xander faux-pondered. "Tough choice."

That was yet another thing that bothered Buffy. Xander was the normal guy in their group, the guy with no powers. Why was Harry drawing him deeper into the demon slaying instead of letting him get on with his life?

Cordelia got a complicated expression on her face for a second, but then she flashed everyone one of her brilliant smiles. "Speaking of choices, Xander and I have a bit of an announcement to make."

"You're getting married?!" Willow jumped the gun, looking completely scandalized.

"What?!" Cordelia squawked. "No, we're breaking up."

Xander snorted in amusement, but then cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. We figured that with her going to LA and me staying here, it just wouldn't work out."

"And you'd get jealous when I started doing kissing scenes." Cordelia added with a smirk.

"And I'd get jealous." He conceded easily.

"Maybe I'll take him off your hands." Faith said silkily, eyes half-lidded. "Always good to have a source of stress relief nearby after a good fight."

"My little princess is so wise in the ways of the world." Harry fake-sniffled, instantly embarrassing the dark Slayer.

"Since when is being a slut wisdom?" Buffy snarked bitterly.

"Buffy!" Giles exclaimed in shock, while Faith just glared at her angrily.

"Hey hey, don't talk about your sister like that just because you're mad at me." Harry scolded. "Xander, take over the grill, somebody needs a hug."

"You got it."

"Stay away from me!" Buffy yelled, going into a martial stance to defend herself.

It was useless, of course. The damn wizard god-thing was just way too strong and massive to be moved or hurt by her punches and kicks and she was too stubborn to run, so she ended up in an unwilling hug.

She hated the fact that it was a nice hug even more.

"Is everything alright over here? I heard shouting." Her mom asked worriedly, apparently attracted by her raised voice.

"It's fine, Buffy just got a little upset." Harry reassured, letting her go. "Though she does still owe someone an apology."

The kindness of him not mentioning what she had done was even worse than if he had. And she did owe Faith an apology. That comment had been uncalled for.

"Sorry, Faith." She said, shrugging off Harry's hand from her shoulder.

"It's cool." Her fellow Slayer said, although she wondered how 'cool' it actually was.

"Alright…" Mom clearly didn't know what exactly was going on, but was willing to let it go for now. "You might want to check up on Jessir."

"Why, what's going on?"

"The football team challenged her to a drinking contest and I think they're trying to get her drunk enough to sleep with one or more of them."

"I told you that your policy on alcoholic drinks was dangerous." Giles sighed in that exasperatedly smug British way he had.

"Dangerous?" Harry snorted. "To the football team, maybe. Night elves might be lightweights by the standards of Azeroth, but drinks without magic in them will have less kick than lemonade for her."

"Can we strip them naked and put them in bed together after they pass out?" Xander begged. "Pleaaaase?"

"I'll do you one better. There's a sex dungeon in the basement, we can string them up in there."

"Best. Dad. Ever." Faith whispered reverently.

"Isn't that a bit excessive?" Mom asked hesitantly.

"Of course not, they'll be fine. You enjoyed the sex dungeon, didn't you?"

"MOM?!" Buffy shouted, horrified.

"Harry, please, not in front of everyone." Joyce Summers hid her face behind her hands.

"Did you know that your mother likes roleplay, Buffy?" Harry continued on relentlessly. "She especially liked being the mayor's naughty secretary."

Unable to take it anymore, Buffy launched herself at him with a scream of rage. The worst part was that she knew exactly what he was doing – because he had outright told her. He was deliberately making her angry so that she'd 'let it out' or something stupid like that.

One day, she was going to let all the blood out of his body, is what she was going to do!