CHAPTER 8

Marcus's pov

"For some time after the assault, I used to have nightmares. I  could feel his breath and his touch whenever I closed my eyes. It was awful."  I hear her say as I continue holding her. 

Hearing her say what she went through breaks my heart. I can't even imagine what she had to go Through because some bastard could not take no for an answer. I will find him and teach him how to treat women properly. I will make him pay for every single tear she has shed because of him.

"When did the nightmares stop?" I ask her.

"They did not stop, they just did not come regularly. Plus I found a way to make myself forget about the assault for a while." hearing her talk like this, is making me want to hunt down the bastard that made her go through this fucking shit and make him pay.

"What kind of way have you found to forget about what happened?"

"I pretend that what happened that day was not an assault but that it was consensual. The only difference is that the man is faceless or used to be. I imagine the person making love to me, gently." she says, playing with her fingers nervously.

 I have noticed that she plays with her fingers when she is nervous, scared, or excited.

"What do you mean used to?" She looks at me and gives me a shy smile. She is avoiding my eyes.

"From the time we met, I have replaced the faceless face with your face."

"You mean to tell me that you touch Yourself thinking of me?" I ask her. 

"Well, yes." She shyly replies.

 I want to celebrate that she thinks of me making love to her but I can't. Her pretending that what happened did not happen is not healthy but I am not going to tell her that. If she has found a way to cope with her pain then it's fine.

"I am happy the nightmares have Stopped baby girl," I tell her.

Time passes with the both of us not saying anything, I continue holding her scared that someone might rip her out of my arms. She looks so fragile right now.

"Marcus, can....can...I... I ask you something?" she asks in a low voice, it's like she is not sure whether to ask me or not.

"Sure, you can ask me anything babydoll," I tell her.

"What do you do for a living?" By the way, she was looking nervous before she asked the question I thought she was going to ask me a much more personal question than this.

"I am a businessman, I have hotels, leisure resorts, and clubs all over the country and some outside the country." It's not like I am bragging or anything, it's just that I am proud of the things I have achieved. And I don't refrain from talking about them when asked.

"Wow, I knew you were a big shot but I did not know you had all those things. When I tried to find out something about you on the Internet before our date, the only thing that the Internet could tell me was that you are a millionaire and nothing about what you do for a living."

 I can't help but smile after hearing her say that she wanted to know things about me before our date. I am relieved I am not the only one who was nervous about our date. I was shaking before our date, I didn't want to make a fool out of myself.

"What were you hoping to find on the internet about me?" I ask her, amusement in my voice. This woman is bringing up the side of me I thought no longer existed. She makes me want to be good.

"I was not looking for anything in particular, I just wanted to learn something about you to help me during our date. I was hoping to find maybe what you like doing in your free time or the places you like visiting, but I found nothing," she says.

"I don't put any personal information on social media, that way no one can use it against me. I don't even do interviews unless they are business-related." 

I have friends who complain about how some women learn about their lifestyles on social media. And how they use the information to stalk them, I try by all means to avoid that. I like being a little mysterious that way no one will have anything against me unless I tell them myself.

"You are right, these days as long as you know the person's name you can learn things about them, that's why I was shocked to find nothing about you," she says.

"I avoid personal questions even during interviews that's why some reporters call me the cold King or the arrogant asshole"

 It's not like I love being called the arrogant asshole but I can't help what people think about me. I just put boundaries between my professional life and my personal life and so far it has been working for me and I like it.

We stay Quiet, I almost think my baby girl is sleeping when she asks me a question that I wish she did not ask but not all wishes come true.

"Have you ever been in a serious relationship?" My first instinct is to say no but I change my mind and tell the truth instead. Even if I am to avoid it now I am sure it will come up in the future.

"Yes, we almost got married five years ago."

 She sits up the moment I mention the marriage. I can tell she wants to ask me something but she is failing.l don't know if she is scared or nervous and I am hoping for the latter, I wouldn't want my babydoll to be scared of me.

"You can ask me whatever you want baby girl, I can tell you have something on your mind," I say to her.

"Why did you guys break up?" I don't know how but I kind of had a feeling that this question would come first.

"She ran away with my stepbrother on the day of our wedding," I tell her. I see a lot of emotions pass her face. My baby girl is feeling sorry for me even though what she went through is far worse than I did. 

I can still remember how heartbroken I was when I found out that Thelma had run away with Kevin. My wife-to-be and my stepbrother that shit hurt me to the bone.

"Oh God, I am sorry Marcus." She says looking at me with sad eyes.

"Don't be sorry babydoll you did nothing wrong."

"Did she at least tell you why she ran away?"

"Yes, she did, she sent me a text two days later. To let me know that she had fallen out of love with me." 

"No one falls out of love without a reason, And why run away with your stepbrother of all people?"

 I asked myself that question a million times from the day I found out about them. I waited for her In church for hours. Everyone kept assuring me that everything was fine and that she was just stuck in traffic. But deep down I knew something was wrong and my fears became a reality when her sister showed up alone and told me that my bride was missing.

"Her reason was that I was paying too much attention to my company than her. And that my stepbrother Kevin was always there for her when she needed someone." 

"Do you still talk to your brother?"

"No,  after they ran away together that day they went abroad. We didn't see each other for about five years until last week. Last week I went for the family dinner which I have not attended in five years, and the only time my stepbrother said a word to me was when I called Thelma a cheater. I know I shouldn't have called her that but my stepmother kept on poking me and I know that's not an excuse but well she provoked me." I don't know why I am telling her about the family dinner  I just find myself doing so.

"I am sorry, you had to go through all that alone, I wish I was there."

It's not the way she speaks that makes me want to tear up it's the care I see in her eyes She is looking at me like I mean the world to her. No one looks at me like that except my father.

"It's okay baby girl, everything that happened led me to this day, to you." 

I never used to believe in fate but now I do. Thelma leaving me happened so I could meet my babydoll and I am glad about it.

"I am happy that I met you," she says in a low voice.

Hearing her say that makes me want to announce to the whole world that she is mine and mine only, but I also don't want to act like a lunatic and scare her away.

"I am glad I met you too baby girl." 

She gives me one of her smiles and does something I did not expect. She sits on my lap and connects her lips to mine I freeze for a moment but recover quickly and take over the kiss. I kiss her for a moment and then I pull away.

"What are you doing babydoll?" I ask her breathlessly.

"Kissing you, taking charge of my life. I have been living in the shadows for far too long Marcus, I want to get out of the dark. Will you help live again?" I look at her and I see vulnerability in her eyes.

"Yes, sweetheart, I will help with whatever you need," I tell her.

"Then kiss me and make me feel myself again."

I connect my mouth to hers and kiss her like my life depends on it. I do not want to stop, her mouth is so intoxicating. I can't help myself but continue devouring her. The more I kiss her the more I want her in so many ways. But I know it is too soon for us to do that considering what she has been through. I stop the kiss and hold her before we go any further and ruin what we are trying to build.

"I think we should stop for tonight," I say barely holding myself from devouring her. She nods her head in understanding. I pull her close to me as she puts her head on my chest.

We don't talk for a few minutes, we just hold each other. The only sound in the room is the sound of our breaths. She does not flinch or shake after our kiss, so I am sure she is okay with what we just did.

That kiss has left a strong yearning in my body. I knew I wanted her the moment I saw her walk into the restaurant but right now I want her even more. I want to be the only man she thinks about every time she is alone.

I want to sleep and wake up with her in my arms. I have never wanted anyone like I want Juliana right now. She is my second chance at life and I will do anything within my power to do right by her. Not everyone gets a second chance but I have one and I am going to use it wisely. I am going to hold on to her until I do not have the strength to do that any longer.

I look down at my baby girl and find her sleeping. She looks even more beautiful in her sleep, the way she is pouting her lips is adorable. She looks peaceful in her sleep. I want her to be like this even when she Is awake free and happy she deserves it. I fall asleep a few minutes later with my baby girl and how much I want her on my mind.