12. Chapter 12

Dean was sitting on the couch watching a movie when he heard the distinct sound of wings. He tensed immediately, his eyes darting to the kitchen door. There was just enough time for half a dozen panicked thoughts to tumble through his head - Castiel was out on the porch, Dean didn't have a weapon, wasn't this place supposed to be hidden? - before Gabriel strolled into the room. At the sight of the archangel, Dean blew out his breath in an annoyed sigh and grabbed the remote to pause the movie. Iago had some of the best lines when he was arguing with Jafar, and he didn't want to miss them.

"You look like the cat dragged you in," he observed, eyeing Gabriel critically. It was the truth. For an angel, Gabriel was very vain. There was never a hair out of place on his vessel. Usually. But right then, Gabriel's hair was mussed and his clothing was wrinkled. He was also scowling like he desperately wanted to smite something, though his lips twitched a little when he looked over at Dean.

"Better start being nicer, kiddo, or Uncle Gabriel won't bring you any more presents."

Torn between another sarcastic comment and the sight of the sleek, shiny computer tucked under Gabriel's arm, Dean frowned. Then he said the only diplomatic thing that he could think of: "I'm never going to call you that. Ever."

Gabriel laughed and came a little closer, dropping the computer in his lap. "You say that now, but I won't hold it against you when you start feeling differently. What's your daddy?"

"Out on the porch," Dean said without looking up, only realizing after Gabriel had already left the room that he hadn't corrected Gabriel in calling Castiel his daddy. He frowned even more deeply at the computer and quickly opened the lid, waiting impatiently for it to finish starting up. He had a lot of stuff that he needed to look up and fast.

Finally, the screen booted and he immediately opened up the search engine. He typed in 'adults acting like little kids' and a bunch of results came up. Some were definitely not what he was after, and some of them were about hatchlings. He avoided those for the time being, first wanting to know more about the humans that, according to Castiel, chose to do this kind of thing just because they thought it was fun. It didn't take him long to stumble across the term 'age play', and after that he really started finding some interesting sites that had a lot of information.

Dean browsed for hours. It was easily the longest he'd spent on research in a while. Sam would've been shocked. But it was way more fascinating stuff than any hunt had ever been. Even when he moved on to the stuff about nestlings, there was a lot of detail about angels that he'd never known before. Like the fact that nestlings grew wings, a process which was similar to teething. Or that angel wings needed to be preened on a regular basis to keep them in peak condition. Or the fact that all angels were expected to take a nestling at some point. Or that nestlings were actually very welcome in heaven.

He read until his eyes started to hurt in the dim light and his back protested at being bent over for so long. He straightened up reluctantly and leaned back against the couch, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. So Castiel was right. There really were people out there who did this kind of thing for fun. And while some of them did it because they found it sexy - which, okay, as far as Dean was concerned there was nothing sexy about this - others did it because it was a way to unwind and feel loved. One website had even pointed out that age play had a lot of the same emotional connotations as BDSM play, because one person was put in charge of another.

Which was all well and fine. Dean had never been into judging people. But he still wasn't sure about how this all related to him. It still sounded like an awful lot of work, for one thing, and he didn't know why Castiel would be willing to step up and do it. The nestling part he understood better now, because Castiel was awkward enough that he would've had a hard time finding another human to say yes if Dean hadn't agreed, but the rest of it? Unless Dean regressed that far, and he was confident he could keep himself from doing so no matter how much grace he consumed, it just wasn't necessary.

So then why was Castiel so intent on taking it that far? Maybe even further than it already had. He glanced down at himself automatically, taking in the jeans and t-shirt he was wearing. They were brand new, not clothing from his duffle bag, but still looked like something he might've walked into Wal-mart and picked out for himself. The pull-up, on the other hand, crinkled faintly every time he moved. It was impossible for him to forget that he was wearing it. Which, if he was willing to believe what Castiel said, was the whole point.

Dean sighed and lifted his hands to rub his eyes, feeling a headache forming in his temple. Probably from spending so much time on the computer when he wasn't used to it. Put him behind the wheel of his baby for fourteen hours and he was fine, but three or four hours on the computer and his head was just pounding. At least some of his questions had been answered, though there was still more he wanted to look up. Later, though. For the moment, he set the computer aside and stood up with a wince. He couldn't wait until he'd consumed enough grace to not having to worry about muscles aches or headaches anymore.

Neither Castiel nor Gabriel had come back into the cabin as far as he knew, and he hadn't been that intent on his work. Dean walked over to the window and drew the curtain back, peeking out. As he'd expected, the two angels were sitting on the porch again. Or, well, Castiel was sitting in a chair. Gabriel was kneeling in front of him, facing away from Dean. Castiel's hands were busy, though to Dean's eyes it looked like he was just waving his hands around in midair. He would make his hand into a claw shape and rake the air, occasionally pinching at nothing and making a motion like he was flicking it away. It took a couple of minutes of watching and puzzling over it before he understood: preening. Castiel was grooming Gabriel's wings.

That was... kind of cool. Enough to make him wish that he could actually see the process, though it was also comforting to have proof that he was still human enough for that to be impossible. He stood there and watched a little longer. He couldn't see Gabriel's face, but the archangel was obviously relaxed. The tension in his shoulders was gone and he was leaning back against Castiel's legs, chin lowered to his chest. He kind of looked a little like a kitten that was basking in its master's attention. The thought made Dean smirk.

More than anything, though, what struck him was the complete trust between them. Gone was the animosity that had once plagued Castiel's and Gabriel's relationship. Right then Castiel could've stuck an angel blade in his brother's back and Gabriel would've been none the wiser. The only person that Dean trusted that much was Sam, but... He swallowed hard, thinking of Ruby. Thinking of how mad he'd been after Sam came up with the ludicrous idea of actually allowing Lucifer into his body so that he could try to overpower the devil. Thinking of how he hadn't actually talked to Sam since his brother left for Stanford. Thinking of just how out of sync he and Sam had gotten.

Really, Dean didn't have anyone to trust right now. But if this thing was going to work between him and Castiel, no matter how far it went or what kind of role play it included, he was going to have to trust Castiel more than he had ever trusted anyone. He would be completely vulnerable. If he had been asked, Dean would have said that Sam was easily the most important thing in his life. And he'd entrusted his brother to Castiel more than once. So why was he hesitating so much to entrust himself? It should have been the easier decision to make; he wasn't nearly as valuable as Sam was, after all.

Those kinds of thoughts weren't making his headache any better. He shuffled over to the door and pushed it open, poking his head out. Castiel glanced up and smiled at him, but Gabriel didn't react. Dean slowly stepped out onto the deck, half-expecting Gabriel to suddenly come alive and chase him off. It felt like he was intruding on something very private.

"It's alright, Dean," Castiel said, flexing the fingers of one hand. He held that hand out to Dean. And, after a second of hesitation, Dean took it and allowed himself to be pulled closer.

Even from this vantage point, he couldn't make out anything between Gabriel and Castiel. Experimentally, he poked at the air. His eyes widened when his finger tingled like he'd just been shocked, only a lot more pleasant, and he quickly pulled his hand back.

Gabriel snorted. "You can't hurt them, if that's what you're concerned about, and since you're Cassie's nestling I don't really care if you touch. Just make sure your hands aren't covered in chocolate or paint."

Dean looked at Castiel with huge eyes, too amazed to bother being offended over the last remark.

With what looked like a lot of effort, Castiel did a very poor job of smothering a smile. "What's wrong, little one? Are you in pain?"

"My head hurts," Dean admitted uncomfortably. He was half-expecting Castiel to react the same way his father would have, which would be a gruff "unless you need stitches, take an aspirin and be quiet". But he wasn't even sure there was any medication in the house. Maybe it would've been better to just go upstairs and lay down?

But even as that went through his head, Castiel pulled him closer still, until Dean was standing between his legs. Gabriel had leaned forward to let this happen, but now he leaned back against Dean, effectively caging him in. He should have felt trapped. He didn't. He stood still as Castiel reached up and pressed his palm to Dean's forehead. There was a cooling sensation, like someone had splashed him with cold water, and then the pain faded away.

"Is that better?" Castiel asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"Yeah. Thanks." Dean blinked, realizing that his eyes were still tired. He really didn't want to go back to the computer. "Why are you, um, grooming Gabriel?"

"Because he's a mess," Castiel said.

"Hey, you try keeping your wings in mint condition when you hardly have five minutes to yourself. You don't know how lucky you are, Cassie. You only have one baby to deal with. I have like a million," Gabriel grumbled.

Dean twisted around and frowned at the back of Gabriel's head. "I am not a baby."

"Whatever, kiddo."

"Gabriel, please," Castiel said, rolling his eyes. He continued running his hands through Gabriel's wings, working around Dean this time. Dean watched in quiet fascination, wishing more than ever that he could see Gabriel's wings.

"How long until I can see them?" he asked, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

Castiel seemed surprised by the question, but he answered readily enough. "Not until you grow wings of your own."

"And when will that be?"

"I don't know, Dean. It's different for every nestling."

Not really the answer that Dean wanted, but at least Castiel was being honest. Still, as he watched Gabriel sigh and moan under Castiel's ministrations like it was the best thing he'd ever felt, even if what he'd read on the internet said it would hurt a lot, Dean found himself looking forward to it.