Haru

Obviously, Isaac had been reading too many yaoi manga, since after Jess had introduced that world to him and his friends six months ago. And now he, and of course his friends along with Jess, had begun to use the terms like seme and uke and neko whenever they discussed yaoi, which they did often, like once a week at the apartment. Of course, no one dared to bother them during their serious yaoi conferences, especially during their heated debate when they preached to each other like a bunch of Roman philosophers about their top pick of the week.

A neko, meaning cat in Japanese, or a uke, in a gay relationship, meant the bottom partner or the female role when it came to sex. A seme, obviously, meant the top or the male role.

"I'm not telling you," I said.

Isaac pulled a face. "I bet you're a neko. I just can't see you pushing Aiden down and doing whatever you want with him."

Well, he was right on the money on that one. There was no way I'd be able to do that, I had to reluctantly admit. I mean Aiden was bigger and stronger than me, after all. Unless, of course, he was willing to submit and just lie still as a log while I did all kinds of erotic stuff to him. Then again, I couldn't see Aiden doing that, considering he could never keep his hands off me. He was always the one seducing me and ended up fucking me until I was dazed and breathless. I bet he wouldn't even feel a thing if I were to stick my tiny dick inside his asshole.

Damn, but the thought of that was really embarrassing.

Isaac said, drawing my attention to him again, "So, what is it like being, you know, made love to?"

I shifted my gaze to him. "Why do you want to know?"

Isaac turned red. "Just…for reference."

Reference? What? Was he secretly penning a yaoi novel or something? Or was he beginning to illustrate a manga? Well, considering he was an art student, I wouldn't be surprised.

Then again, something about his reaction and his reply nagged at me.

Suddenly, it hit me. Fuck! Why hadn't I seen it? When the signs had always been there?

Or maybe I had been too consumed with my own problems that I hadn't pay attention? That Isaac was gay, like me?

I licked my lips and then asked, "Isaac?"

Isaac shuffled about in his spot and turned away from me, probably suspecting I was onto him. He looked damn embarrassed.

"Hey," I began, not sure exactly how to proceed with the topic. "I'm sorry I didn't notice."

"Notice what?"

He was playing dumb. But of course, I persisted. Fuck, but I knew what it felt like being gay, to feel like there was something wrong with you, that maybe others, especially your own brothers, won't accept you for who you are, for your sexual preference.

"That you…" I sighed, scratching my head. "That you're gay."

The moment I said those words, I tensed, my stomach flipping in dread. Shit! Was I being too blunt?

Isaac turned to me then, a tight smile playing about his lips. I sighed in relief. He wasn't mad with me. Thanked God!

He said, "Yeah, I'm gay. I didn't think I was until you came out. I mean I do like to…" He stopped abruptly, as if he realized that he shouldn't say anything further.

I continued for him. "Wear women's clothes and makeup and that sort of stuff?"

Isaac's face went even redder. "How?"

I smiled. "I borrowed your laptop heaps of times, remember? You tend to leave your browser open. You do buy lots of stuff online, don't you?" I chuckled. "I blame Mom. She made us wear those dresses when we were kids and now it's stuck with you."

Isaac chuckled. "Yeah. Though you can't blame her. I mean I would have discovered I liked that sort of thing sooner or later. It makes me happy when I wear those cute dresses, you know. I feel like I can fly or something. I mean you have to admit I look really cute, right?" He looked at me. "Shit! You don't think I'm weird?"

I shook my head. "You're not weird. You're unique, Isaac. I know no one ever says it in the house, but you're the sunshine. You're always so cheerful and loud. Your presence and your voice lightens the mood when hard times hit."

There were tears brewing in his eyes, and I freaked out. "What?" I panicked. "Are you crying? Why?"

Isaac got up and wrapped his arms around me tight. "Haru, you're such a nice brother. You're so cute. When we get back, let's play dress up again."

I shook my head. "No way!" I said, though I was laughing.

Once he removed his arms and released me, he said, "Can you keep it a secret?"

"You mean you being gay and cross-dressing?"

He nodded. "When I'm ready, I'll tell our bros. But I'm not ready yet."

"They'll be all right with it, I'm sure," I said. "I mean they accept me."

Isaac chuckled. "Yeah. I know that." We were both quiet for a moment when he changed the topic completely, which was very typical of him. "So, where are we eating tonight?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't know. Aiden or Reo must have already decided on a place. They planned this trip together."

"Man, Tokyo is amazing, right? Everything is so cool," he said. "I can't wait to explore."

Because I was curious about something else and I couldn't help myself, I asked, "Isaac?"

"Hm?" he responded as he reached out for a remote control sitting on the bedside table. He pushed on the power button and the TV screen in front of us switched on. A Japanese show about a man dining alone in a random small restaurant came up. The actor, or rather the character, who seemed to be in his forties, was currently eating katsudon in a small café, and he was enjoying it to the max, in the subtle Japanese way.

"You don't really like Connor, do you?"

Isaac turned to look at me, his eyes large and his cheeks bright red. "Not really." He paused, as if in thought for a moment, and then continued, "I mean he's such a bully, and he has picked on me since we were kids. I mean does he dislike me that much that he must pick on me? Like do I annoy him or something?"

Really? That was how Isaac saw it? Though it didn't look that way to me. I mean Connor seemed to enjoy being around Isaac, and of course, the other way around. Isaac was always so excited and perky whenever Connor visited. Did he not know that that was how he behaved?

I said, "If you dislike it, why don't you just tell him to leave you alone?"

Isaac shrugged. "I did, but that orc keeps coming back."

It was then the bathroom's door opened and Aiden came out. The moment I saw him, I swallowed hard. The man was gorgeous, especially after a shower when his blond hair was wet and his tanned skin flushed hot.

He said, "Are you bitching about somebody behind their back, Isaac?"

"Not bitching, bro," Isaac said. "Just stating facts."

Aiden wasn't listening, however, as he shooed Isaac away. "Go get ready. We're going out in half an hour. Don't blame me if Japanese people stare at you because you reek."

Isaac sniffed at himself and then pulled a face. "Shit! I do stink." He rushed off the bed, and within seconds, he was out the door.

I laughed. Despite how it seemed, Isaac was a clean freak, like the rest of us brothers.