Broken Resolve

Chris didn't know how much or how little time had passed. She could not open her eyes as she felt excruciating pain in her entire body. For a split second, she thought she was going to die. Right now. Right here. For some reason, the thought made her happy. She didn't have to fight anymore, she didn't have to face the people whom she had failed if she dies here. She knew it was a cowardly thought but she couldn't help herself. The losses of people came crashing down on her. So did the thought of her brutal mistakes.

Something happened. She was so disoriented that she couldn't understand what was happening. She was vaguely aware of someone dragging her somewhere and someone screaming in the distance. Then silence. . .

Suddenly something was forced into her mouth. Chris almost choked because of a sharp bitter taste but as soon as the bitter juice went down her throat, she felt awake.

"SAVE HER!!!"

Someone shouted in her ears while shaking her vigorously.

Chris's body was still in pain but her mind was alert now. She blinked a few times and her vision cleared.

It was a pale and scared-looking Sol. He waved his hands in panic and frustration.

"SAVE HER!!! SAVE!!! HER!!!" He repeated loudly.

"Who?" Chris didn't understand what was going on. But she tried to get up feeling the terror in Sol's voice and winced as her injured body gave a sharp lurch of displeasure. She ignored the pain and the fact that her entire body was wet and soaked with her blood.

"HER!!" Sol shouted again and pointed behind Chris.

Chris turned around and realized they were a little far from the broken fort and in front of it lying on the ground was . . .

"ZIL!" Chris screamed as she rushed towards her.

Zil could barely move. Her pupil-less eyes were half-closed, one of the wings was broken and she gave a quiet whimper when Chris called her.

"Zil! What happened? No-no-no. Please, please, please!" Chris was trembling head to toe as she flopped down beside the thestral whose dark blood run down from her wings and neck. "No, please. You will be fine. I will make it right! My bag--" One hand cradling Zil's head, Chris reached for her purse but it wasn't there. "WHERE IS MY BAG?" Chris shouted looking around frantically.

Sol rushed and started to look around. Zil made a weak noise as she rested her head on Chris's leg.

"It's ok Zil. You will be fine!" Chris repeated again and again. She felt dizzy.

"Here!" Sol finally found Chris's bag and thrust it to her shaking hands.

Chris started rummaging through it and pulled out a vial.

"You will be fine in a bit Zil. Just wait for a --" Chris opened the bottle; Zil forcefully opened her pupil-less eyes and looked at Chris. Chris froze and looked back at her. After a moment, Zil closed her eyes and let out a breath.

". . . . Zil," Chris whispered.

Zil didn't open her eyes.

"Zil?"

No answer.

"Z-zil," Chris's voice shook. "Z-Z-ZIL!"

It was like sinking into an old nightmare; for an instant, Chris sat down again beside Dumbledore's body at the foot of the tallest tower at Hogwarts, but in reality, she was staring at her only friend from Hogwarts who was with her till now.

"Z-zil, w-wake up-p! Zil! Zil!" Chris continued to call her name even though she knew Zil was gone somewhere she can't call her back. But she did not want to believe it.

Zil can't be gone too. 

"Please . . . Zil . . ."

"She knew . . . you . . .were in . . . danger. She . . . brought . . . me here. Then . . . flew . . . inside . . . to save . . . you." Sol sat down beside Chris and whispered very slowly. His eyes were glistening with tears as he watched the thestral. "She was . . . very brave."

Was.

Chris couldn't breathe. Zil was also gone. The only reminder that she was not alone was gone. Zil died trying to save her. Zil was brave like everyone else who has died around her. Chris clutched her head and screamed. Her screamed echoed in the forest. She cried. Screeching. Wailing as loud as possible. She cried like the six years old Christina whose mother told her she was nothing but a worthless freak and didn't deserve to be loved. The physical and mental pain, emptiness, burdens tumbled out of her.

. . .

The cry subsided when Chris had no energy left. She realized she was lying on the muddy forest ground staring at the pitch-black night sky. Her inside felt hollow. The pain in her body was returning which was forgotten till now. She felt tired. So tired. She didn't want to get up. She didn't have the energy to get up and fight. Maybe for the first time, she didn't want to defeat Malgino. She just wanted to run away . . . somewhere. . . away from here . . . and never come back.

"We should. . ." Chris glanced sideways and saw Sol was sitting beside her and Zil. His eyes looked red and glassy as he muttered. "do . . . something for . . . her."

Chris didn't answer as her throat felt heavy, sore, and closed. She just looked at Sol.

"We should . . . give her . . . a proper . . . funeral . . . if you . . . want," Sol mumbled quietly.

Chris slowly got up and flinched then swayed. The open wounds in her body started to bleed again with searing pain.

"Eat this!" Sol hastily shoved some leaves in Chris's hand. "This will reduce . . . the pain and . . . let you stay . . . conscious . . . for a little . . . more."

Without a question, Chris put the leaves in her mouth and the same bitter taste filled her mouth and throat. Chris didn't feel any change this time or she didn't care.

When Sol watched Chris didn't do anything he started to talk.

"I can't . . . do magic . . . but I know . . . how to . . . do it," Sol said looking a little bit uncomfortable but there was resolve in his eyes whereas Chris's eyes looked lost.

That was one magic. One type of magic Chris never tried to learn. She never learned how to build a grave. She could carve writings on a tomb but didn't know how to make one.

After a few moments of hesitation, Chris pulled out her wand and looked at Sol for instructions. Sol very slowly explained what should they do. Chris half-listened Sol half thought about when she first met Zil. How excited she was. How calm she felt when Zil was near her.

" . . . now wait," Sol mumbled as he went to find a good place for the tomb. 

He came back within minutes and helped Chris stand up. He pointed in a direction of the forest and expectantly looked at Chris. With one arm still around Sol's small shoulders for support, she pointed her wand at Zil.

"Wingardium Leviosa," Chris fought through her painful throat and whispered.

Zil's body floated and followed them. They reached a small clearing in the middle of four big trees. 

"Here," Sol gave an encouraging nod.

Chris lowered Zil in the middle of the clearing and took a deep breath. Her breathing quickened and her chest clenched as she softly mumbled, "Aedificate Sepulcrum." 

With a small puff, Zil body disappeared inside the ground, and a grey tomb appeared above it.

Chris's hand went limp as she stared at the tombstone. What should she write on the tomb?

"Now you . . . can do . . . the other . . . thing," Sol said.

Chris just stared at him. She remembered him saying something about some kind of ritual of vampires acknowledging their brave heroes. Some kind of light bursting in the sky so the people know one of the great was gone.

"Just . . . point your . . . wand up . . . and let the. . . magic flow . . . through you," Sol explained again noticing Chris's confused frown.

Chris did as instructed. She raised her arms and let the magic flow wherever it wants to go. Rainbow light burst out of the tip of Chris's wand and streaked across the dark sky. The light spread through all the sky and clouds, with a loud rumble the rain poured from the sky.

As the raindrops continued to fell on Chris and Sol, Chris realized what Sol meant. The raindrops felt like the overpowering sorrow Chris was feeling but there was a feeling of calmness, Serenity in that water.

Chris felt dizzy and disoriented again as she knelt in front of the tomb and touched the stone her eyes tearing up again.

"I am so sorry, Zil. I am sorry."

Chris touched her head on the cold stone and kept mumbling again and again while weeping the loss of her friends.

Chris had no clue how long it was before two strong pairs of arms pulled her from the tomb.

"Christina! We need to go to the palace. You need to see the healer."

A familiar face full of concern and worry came into her view. Oziyat's arms snaked under Chris as he pulled her off the ground.

"I am sorry . . ." Chris mumbled again.

"You will be fine," Oziyat said walking very fast while carrying her.

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To be continued. . .