Mission 2: That's Methed Up

Date: November 24, 1996

Location: Unknown, Newburg, San Andreas

"Ugh, my head, where the fuck am I? Am I dead? Where the hell is that music coming from? Am I blind? WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN ON?!" Remus said mentally. "HEY, WHAT THE FOK IS GOING ON NOW?!" Yelled Slater. The music was turned down, and the two were unmasked. Remus flinched at the new bright light, when the man from before stepped in front of them "Welcome to my crib boys, the name is Jack Napier, now Ima be blunt...I need one." Jack pulled out a bag full of Marijuana and went to sit at a table. "Carter, untie these fine gentlemen," Jack said. "You two wanna smoke?" He asked. Remus looked around the surroundings and saw that they are in a dark abandoned warehouse. "I ASKED IF YOU TWO WANNA SMOKE!" Jack yelled. "Ohhh, you dont even have ta ask me, I need to get high after the night I had with Santa Claus over here" Slater said while looking at Remus. "I see, police really are just pigs, aren't they?" Jack jokingly asked. "Look I dont want no trouble from you Mr. Napier" Remus said "THEN FUCKING SMOKE WITH US THEN!" Napier yelled. Remus joined the 2 men in a smoke sesh. After smoking and making small talk Napier spoke up "That bag yall knocked down costed me money, wich means it's gonna cost yall money, you two are gonna work off yalls debt to me. "How so?" Slater asked, "yall gonna do shit for my gang capeesh" Napier said "heh, dont say capeesh" Remus laughed at Napier. Napier stood up and slapped Remus out of his chair. "I GET TO SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT" Napier yelled as Remus looked at him from the ground. "Get up, bitch" Napier barked. "Both of you come here" Napier said walking away. Remus and Slater looked at each other and followed. Napier led the boys to a very run-down Albany Emperor. "You two will be the proud owners of this beauty" Jack said as he tapped the hood of the car causing the bumber to slightly fall off, "don't think of running off and running yo mouths to the opps" Napier said "my gang owns this city, they will glady blow yalls head off if they see yall fucking wit the police. If yall wanna change state, we will find you. My buddy, Jimmy Pegarino knows a lot of people, not even North Yankton will save you." Remus looked for his gun and radio, "Don't bother grandpa, your gun, badge, and radio are mine" Napier said. Remus looked at Napier, Napier then threw the keys to Remus."Take care of her, now to yalls repayment" Napier started, "I need some more meth to sell to the fine people of this city, so I need you two to head to Los Santos and retrieve it for me. Here is the information you need, it is called the meth kingdom. The people yall are looking for are Hannah and Jasper Barron, just get there, get the meth, and get back. Now get the hell out of here."

Mission: Get to Los Santos

Remus and Slater get in the car and start their way to Los Santos. "Look, I dont think we got to formally meet. My name is Donald Remus," Remus said, trying to break the awkward silence. "Nice to meet ya bud, the name is John Slater." As they continued their trip, the two started to get along. "Why would you join the police after leaving the military?" Asked Slater. "I just needed something to do, I ain't got no family," Remus said. "What happened?" Slater asked."Shit just happens, son, and sometimes that shit can spread as fast as...ugh, fire, " Remus said. "I'm sorry for asking, bud," Slater apologized. "Hey, don't sweat it, son," after they turned up the radio and the song "Hypnotize" by Bigie Smalls came on. Remus turned up the song, and the two men started vibing while driving together. After jamming to a few songs, they started to see the Los Santos Skyline. "Alright, look at the paper Jack gave us, and look at the map to see where we have to go." Remus told Slater, "uhhh after downtown head to Mission Row, keep going down Strawberry and then take a left down Atlee street." Slater said. "At least I know some parts of this plastic fake city" Remus grumbled as he drove. After driving, Slater fell asleep, and Remus saw the building. It was an old abandoned window cleaner manufacturer. Slater and Remus pull up, and a man in a sweater runs up on the car with a gun. "HEY! IM THE METH KINGDOM SECURITY, WHAT THE HELL YALL THINK YOU DOING HERE!?" the man yelled. "HEY, HEY, WATCH YO SHIT, we here for the pickup," Remus said while doing air quotes on the "pickup." "WHAT FUCKING PICKUP"!? The man yelled. "Little boy ima tell you this one more OBVIOUS time, WE ARE HEEERREEE FOR THE PIIICCKKK...UP!" Remus yelled angrily. "LOOK MAN, STOP YELLING! I JUST TOOK 5 TABS, ALRIGH-HEY WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??!" The man yelled while looking at a pigeon, Remus looked at what he was freaking out about. "Son that's a bird, and we need meth" Remus says becoming more irritated. The man went towards the pigeon and quickly picked it up. The man walked back to the car "look" the man said and bit the head off of the pigeon. "JESUS EFFING CHRIST!" Remus yelled, waking up Slater. "OHH, WHAT THE FOK!?" Slater yelled and looked up to see the man stained in pigeon blood with the pigeon's head in between the man teeth. "Jeh, ima jus go back to sleep now." The man then ran towards the street while yelling with the pigeon in his mouth, Remus stepped out of the car to try and get the man to tell them where Hannah and Jasper were. The man started to choke on the pigeon head and freak out, "HEY, CHILL OUT LET ME HELP YO-" Remus was stopped by the man who pulled out a knife, Remus backed up and the man thought he could cut the pigeon out of his neck. The man started cutting his neck, too high to feel the pain. "HEY, WHAT THE EFF!" Remus yelled while stepping back even more. The man started to feel the pain, and he started to run to the street. After going on the street, the man twisted his ankle and fell in front of a semi truck that was going down the street. He was then hit by the truck, and Remus was splattered with the man's blood. "AHHH, OH HELL NO!!" Remus said while wiping the blood from his glasses. Remus headed back to the car and got in, he shuts the door, and the noise woke Slater up. "Ohhh, good morning. What happened to you?" Slater asked Remus, Remus didn't say anything and slowly looked at Slater. Suddenly, a very skinny lady with giant dreadlocked hair stepped out of the building. "Hey, are you two here from Napier?" She asked. "Yes, we are ma'am," Remus said back to her, still a bit in shock. "Ok, just pull your car into the garage," she said. The garage door opened up, and Remus pulled the car into the garage. After, Remus and Slater get out of the car and follow the lady into a room while the other gang members there start to load the car with meth. "I am the Meth Queen, and this is my Meth King," the lady said as she walked up and hugged a giant man. "Holy fok, you are really big," Slater said "SLATER" Remus whisper yelled "what, im telling the truth," he said back. "Look, miss and Mr. Barron, sorry about my...partner here," Remus said. "Whatever, hey, do yall want to have a look around?" Hannah asked. The two agreed and followed Hannah around the building. "These are my flowers, and this is our lab," Hannah exclaimed as she showed the two a giant meth lab filled with chemicals. "Holy shit, yall need this much meth?" Remus asked. "Meth is good, Meth is life," Hannah creeply said, looking at the two with her black eyes and white pupils. "Meth is good, Meth is life," the workers in the lab said mindlessly. Remus and Slater exchange a look of fear and uncertainty. "This wayyy boys" Hannah chirped. The two followed Hannah to a giant shrine with multiple meth rocks and other various drugs all scattered around a giant tank. "This is our shrine to what gives everything meaning, METHAMPHETAMINE," Hannah explains, "In this tank is a drug called Trilex, it is one of the main ingredients for our meth" she says. "Meth is our savior, Meth will deliver all the evil from the world...like liberals," she says, "HANNAH," Meth King yelled. "COMING," she yelled "Thats just Jasper, don't piss him off," Hannah said before going back to where they started from. Remus and Slater look at eachother and follow. In the room, Jasper and Hannah start to make out, "Ew, what the fok?" Slater said, causing Hannah and Jasper to look at him. "I thought you guys were siblings," Slater yelled. "Um, we are married," Hannah said while Jasper was standing there, dead eyeing Slater. "Ohhhh, that makes so much more sense" Slater says "Not gonna lie, you two do look like a pair of Alabama cousin fucking fucktards" Slater said before stopping himself and looking at Jasper and Hannah. "Da fuk chu jus say motha fucka?" Jasper yelled, pushing Remus out of the way, sending him into a wall. Jasper walked up to Slater and looked down at him before grabbing him by his sweater and throwing him into a gas valve. "AIN'T NO ONE TALK TO US LIKE THAT AND SURVIVES!" Jasper yelled before going to slater to beat him up. "HEY JASPER, let's calm down," Remus said, and Jasper walked over to him. "I am CALM, motha fucka," Jasper said before the door opened. "We are done with loading the car," a gang member said. Jasper looks at the gangster and looks back at Remus, "You ahn yo lil friend best get yo asses da fuk outta here...NOW" Jasper yells as he slames the table making it fall. "You two are wonderful folk, tha k you for having us as...uh...company" Re.us says and the two high tail it out of the room and to the car. "Get yo ass in Slater. I am not staying here any longer," Remus yells. "I agree. Let's just get the fok back," the two start to back out of the garage. In the room Hannah throws a meth pipe out of the window and at the car remus is in "Smoke and relax fuckers!!" Hannah yells and laughs. "I want some meth actually" Hannah says and grabs a blowtorch. She tries to spark it to turn on when *BOOM!!* The entire room blew up. When Jasper threw Slater into the gas valve it caused the methane gas to leak. When Hannah sparked the tourch, the combustible gas reacted with the spark and had an explosive reaction. Remus and Slater see the room explode, after seeing it Remus floors the gas pedal and they speed off back to Newburg.

Once the two got back into Newburg they pull up to Napier's crib to deliver the meth. After parking Napier tells his gang to start grabbing the meth. "You boys are just good, here, this is $50 find a hotel and don't even think of running off. Also, here, this is a shitty ass phone, it has my number on it so when I need you I can get to you. Now both yall go and fuck off before I put a cap in yo asses" Napier said. Remus and Slater decided to stay at a cheap hotel called "Pinewood Inn."

"Ok now, that was intense" Remus said before shutting the hotel door. "Fok, I know, hey, remember when we were at that shrine in the Meth place?" Slater asked. "Yeah, shit was creeping me out. Why do you ask?" Remus asked. "I stole a bag of weed they had on the ground," Slater said, pulling out a bag of weed. "OH HELL YEAH, roll us up a joint, I'm ready to SLEEP," Remus said happily.

**Attention units, there has been an explosion at an abandond Window Cleaner factory in Los Santos, cheif of police is requesting the D.R.E.'s operation OPERA to hold until further notice.**

Mission Passed!

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