It's just not me

My hands glided across the rough and torn surface as I hummed a song. My hands darted from this spot and that with the needle and thread. I'd been doing this same thing for hours and wasn't getting tired. I was in a spare room of the bar Solas was in before. Somehow, he managed to get friendly with him and we all got rooms to stay in.

Then I heard a knock on my door.

"Clams, you got time ta' spare?"

Citrus shouted from the other side.

I stood up and opened the door.

"What is it"

I asked.

"There's a copycat out there using my name to commit crimes. They're really bad at it as well."

She answered.

My creation fell of it's stand and tried to crawl towards the door.

"What's that?"

Citrus asked.

"Training. I know, it's badly made but it wouldn't stop squirming when I was making it."

I replied.

She took a long breath, grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. She closed the door and kept dragging me until we were out of the bar.

"Who was that?"

"I'm not entirely sure"

"Why were they in peices?"

"What are you trying to say here?"

"Syllvester won't allow serial killers living in his bar"

"I'm not a serial killer"

"You tore a guys limbs off with a needle!"

"Your point?"

"Syllvester told me to me to keep you in check."

"Well tell him that if he wants to watch me, he can do it himself!"

"He has a job, he can't go around watching some random he doesn't even know"

"I'm not some random"

"What are ya' then?"

"I'm a god"

We paused. She stared at me and laughed.

"That it? We've got about five living in this kingdom alone."

Embarrassed, I tried to change the subject

"I give up, just tell me what I need to do."

She pointed at an alleyway

"Stand there."

I walked into the alley and near immediately heard footsteps behind me. I turned and saw another child that looked similar to Citrus. They were wearing the same hat but their suit jacket more like a cape and their hair was dark blue insted of Citrus' red.

"Hand over your money"

He said in a dignified tone.

I could tell he had no weapons on him. And he was a child. But he could've been like Citrus with looking far younger so I kept my guard up.

"No!"

I said.

"So be it"

He laughed as he stepped closer.

I started leaking construct from my hands in preparation for an attack, but he only walked to my side and tapped my shoulder.

With that tap, I felt my cloak lighten significantly. Like it had lost material.

I grabbed his head and smashed it into the wall. I dropped him afterward when he started crying.

"Why'd you do that!"

He screamed.

I saw an old man walk behind him and grab him over his shoulder. I stepped out of the alleyway to follow him and grabbed his shoulder.

His head shot around and he screamed.

"What now! First you hurt berry, now what? Do you want my life as well?"

"I just wanted t-"

"To what? To fight this poor old man after beating his child half to death? Fine. I accept. Meet me at the large dojo next to the blacksmiths"

He walked away at an unreasonable speed for walking.

"I just wanted to ask..."

I mumbled to myself.

I felt a hand reach for my shoulder and fail because they were too short, then settle for tapping my back.

"Lighten up. Now we know where he lives. That's a start."

We walked to the aforementioned dojo next to the blacksmith. To my surprise, a god was actually living there. Every weapon had chaos leaking out and the aura inside was saturated with enough chaos to suffocate somebody. We also passed the adventurers guild where Solas was.

"Clams, let's be adventurers!"

He shouted from the door.

"No!"

I shouted back.

"But Clams, adventurers are split into six ranks from A to F with a special S rank for special people too strong to be measured"

He yelled. With neither of us bothering to get closer to the other, forcing us to keep shouting.

"We can break the ball used to measure our power but still manage to get put in F rank because they couldn't measure our power even though they already have a rank specially made for that. Then we could do a repeatable quest to gather herbs and end up gathering so many that we are promoted to E rank instantly"

He continued.

"Who are you talking to"

I yelled, already walking away.

"Stop walking away. We could find a princess in danger and save her from bandits easily so she gives us the recommendation to immediately become C ranks but the princess now re-"

He kept saying until his voice was far behind us.

"What a wierdo"

Citrus said.

"He's my friend"

I snapped.

"Don't you have another one, he as strange as you two"

She asked.

"He's pretty dignified actually. According to him, he's royalty. Though, you can't always trust a god."

I finished.

We were finally at the door to the dojo. We stepped inside the door. There was a large ring in the centre and thousands of weapons on the walls until they reached the ceiling. The rude, fast speaking old man from before was in front of the ring, kneeling down.

"Hell-"

I started.

"I'm so sorry for my son. I didn't realise he was trying to rob you and just thought you were bullying him"

He said.

He knelt down even lower

"I hope you'll accept one or two of our weapons as compensation for being robbed and for me putting you in the wrong. Oh and I'm Chatte and this is my son Berry. Anyway about the weapons?"

"I'd be happy t-"

I said

"Oh thank god"

He sighed

With that phrase, I felt a strange primal feeling rise up from my throat. Then to my mouth. Then I blurted out

"No problem"

He stared at me for a second, processing what I had just said. This was followed by a few hand signals that I still believe he came up with on the spot.

"Three!"

"What-"

"You get, THREE WEAPONS!"

"Okay, okay, calm down. I'll look now."

I walked over to a wall and browsed the selection. Many spears, swords, axes, variations of all. Yet no weapons perfect enough to be wielded by yours truly. I turned and looked at the other walls but there still wasn't much. More unconventional weapons this time, needles, scythes and... A gun.

I pointed to the gun on the weapon rack.

"Where did you get this?"

I asked.

"Ah, it seems you have noticed the illegal section of weapons"

He replied.

"Illegal?"

I said.

"Yes, very. Nobody knows why, but the king declared all firearms illegal"

He added.

This was bad for me at the moment. Back in my hometown, we were the sole distributor of guns. I did hear some rumours within the production line about sending them to other dimensions but I never though I'd get to see it first hand. I always thought other dimensions were fairytales.

But then, something called out to me. An energy of chaos. Something familiar yet foreign. Like the chaos that ran through my veins was distorted. Ruined. Torn to pieces and defiled right in front of me and yet. It was comforting. It felt like a pleasant and soft voice screaming in agony. I walked over to the lone podium that the weapon stood.

They were two fans both with brown wooden bases with solid gold and silver covering it. In my haze, I reached out a hand to touch it.

"No don't do that, it's cursed!"

The old man shouted.

I snapped back to reality

"How is it?"

"Anybody who touched it either died a horrible death or their powers went berserk"

I stared at the fans for a moment. Weighing out my options. If I didn't take them, I would miss out on a potential weapon. If I grabbed them, there was a chance I could die.

"Life's not short enough to evade death"

I picked up the fans and the world around me went black.

"Another fool"

A voice from behind me whispered in a voice that felt like it was being said directly in my mind.

I tried to turn around, but my body's survival instinct kept me from looking.

"Who are you?"

I asked.

"I am the primordial being of growth, the one who was granted duothaurity for surpassing all other demons. The one who gives power at a price. The one who has made many warriors and the one who made them fall. I, am, Azath-"

"Aaaaaaaazaathoth!"

A woman shouted from behind me.

I was finally allowed to turn around and looked at the source of the voice. A black, damp cloak that was covered in large, perfectly circular holes. His face was obscured by a hood, but from what I could see there were tentacles and mouths in places there shouldn't be. The woman behind him was dressed in a blood red dress with red and white frills. She looked like if a red velvet cake were turned into a person.

"Hey *hic Azathoth! I brought back some cake from the party"

She said, slurring her words.

"Nobelise, are you drunk?"

He said.

"No, No, we both know gods can't get *hic can't get drunk"

She blurted out.

She walked over to the armchair he was sitting in and fell onto it, her head resting face down on the arm. Her body stopping him from getting up.

She started snoring as he tried and failed to continue his dramatic introduction.

We sat in silence for a minute. I think he got a dead leg from being unable to move.

"So... what are authorities?"

I asked.

"Things the creator of all used to have, he didn't want to be outdone by his bride so he gave them all away before creating her so that he didn't pass down any to her by accident"

He replied.

"And who is this creator and his bride."

I asked again.

"They have existed since before the first dimensions. They exist beyond our comprehension. A notable one is Lemnischekhov."

He answered.

"Who?"

I said.

"Unimportant to the story. Anyways, His bride calls herself Lady Lemnis."

"What did you get from this creator?"

"The authority to bottleneck, the power to slow or stop the growth of a person and the authority to overcome that lets me push people past their limits by adding or increasing the toll it takes on them."

"Why did you say you had a duothaurity then? What does that mean?"

"You should really know this, with you having an authority"

"I have an authority?"

"Yes, and a powerful one at that. The authority to command is hidden under that cloak. More precisely in the outfit you're wearing underneath the cloak."

"What does it do?"

"I believe I've told you more than enough. In fact, so much that to get out of here alive you'd need to make a contract with me"

"So you tricked me?"

"I could also take your friends lives instead. As long as it's equal."

"I've got a person I wouldn't mind throwing away"

He laughed

"Then leave them for dead. See if you can keep yourself sane without people to come back to."

I fell silent

"It's not like that"

"Yes, yes. I'm sure it isn't"

I turned around again.

"Just tell me what you can give me"

I said, agitated.

He laughed again

"Struck a nerve did I? I don't know much, but I bet you still think whatever happened to you was your fault don't you? They all do. Every traumatised soul that thinks they're unique."

"You know nothing about what happened there. Just tell me what you do."

"I've lived millions of years. I've seen at least three of you so far. You're not special. Get over it and you'll probably power up"

"Stop talking about me and get on with it"

"Wield the weapon I reside in. Bathe me in the blood of your enemies and you shall be rewarded with my help. Perhaps enough help, and you'll receive an authority or three"

"Three?"

"Two. I said it wrong"

I reached out my hand again and gripped tightly. The dark world faded away and I felt the rough grip of the fans. I pulled them out of the holders and opened them. There was a small bell contained inside the wood, so whenever it opend or closed a high pitched ring would come out.

I felt a small hand tap my arm from behind.

"You good? Don't go dying a horible death on me now."

Citrus said.

"Yeah, Citrus. I'm fine."

I said blankly.

"I'll take these"

I shouted to the still kneeling Chatte.

"And the other two?"

He shakily said.

I looked around the illegal items section and picked up a ring with a pearl in the centre. It immediately grew small spikes and forced itself onto my finger.

"Hey! What's this?"

I yelled.

"That's a mood ring. Somebody got really mad after finding out they don't show your mood and just change with temperature so they made a working one that told you the emotions of others"

I looked at Chatte again. It felt like my mind was telling me something about him. He was feeling scared, terrified even. But there was also a hint of a need to protect somebody.

"I'll take this as well"

I said.

"Will that be all, o benevolent god?"

He stuttered.

I sighed.

"Yes, more than enough."

He sighed as well and sat up on his knees.

"Oh, and also-"

I started.

As soon as I started talking, he gasped and the fear worsened.

"If anybody causes you two trouble, get me. I'll sort them out"

I laughed.

His face went from being contorted with fear to relief.

I had terrible dreams that night. Just what I get for saying I'd help people. It's just not me.