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FU Tales

Alex Fu-Tales, a nerd, never believed in the supernatural, only science. A prolonged death at a young age of 25 led him to the hidden dimension, where the supernatural beings live in parallel to the human world. Stuck with a mentor who is the forgotten Chinese serpent god, Kanghui, Alex falls into the dangerous web of afterlife politics, and the unsavory company of other destructive gods. His first allies are a shape-shifting spider and a strange group of Japanese serpent ‘gods’ obsessed with Kentucky fried chicken. With crappy fighting skills, Alex is forced to rely on his wits and knowledge to survive the afterlife. Will his luck in the afterlife worsen or turn for the better? Are some of the notorious gods villains or just misunderstood? Is there a higher purpose in his continued existence? Graphics (book cover): shutterstock.com. Font from canva.com. Modifications: own.

Passingsands · Fantasia
Classificações insuficientes
85 Chs

Going back

For a while, banal banter about folklore and myths led to a growing feeling of affinity for Yata, who gave him plenty of interesting information.

The more Alex knew, the more he did not know, but it kept him from thinking about his predicament.

It still did not assuage Alex's wariness about Yata.

Bad enough that spiders were furry critters, especially when they swung back and forth in the air before his face. Alex didn't mind the common but huge huntsman spiders with their long legs crawling about in his home, which often tempted him to swat at them with a rolled up newspaper.

If a spider bite couldn't kill him, Alex wouldn't care, but he wouldn't want to be a meal for one.

Even one like Yata, whose wannabe cool behaviour and speech resembled the guys in his high school.

The only difference between them was the predator lurking within Yata's deceptive human disguise, which he deeply appreciated.

If Yata chosen his spider form, it would remind him of the disgusting-looking Shelob in the Lord of the Rings movie. Big fat hairy bum, eight eyes on a monstrous head and huge fangs - That would really scare the living hell out of him.

A thick white fog started drifting into the shrine, distracting him from his observation of Yata, who froze at its sight.

"Uh oh," Yata muttered as his arm raised up, preventing Alex from venturing to investigate the incoming fog.

"It would have been better if it was Jiuwei, her regular messenger," Yata cussed softly, enough for Alex to hear.

Not a good thing when Yata pushed him back away from the fog. Whatever was entering made even Yata tremble in fear before it, yet enough to act protectively over him.

"She's here," Yata whimpered, increasing Alex's anxiety. "Oh shit, I prefer to deal with Jiuwei, but her… oh man."

Soon, the thick fog swaddled the shrine as the two huddled together. Safety in numbers. Better to die together than alone, Alex thought.

The ground was no longer visible to the naked eye, not even like dry ice. A shroud of deathly vapour started rising to form a solid white wall in front of the shrine.

Alex squinted for a better look inside the opaque white wall of cloud-like fluff with tentacle-like wisps, waving around as though goading him to enter. He could spot something black forming a human figure from within. The insides of the wall looked deeper in depth than it was.

"Who is that?" He whispered to Yata.

"Your marker, Kanghui."

Then he noticed that Yata's former quivering hand, which was holding his arm, transforming into a spider's quivering furry pedipalp.

Before he could react in disgust, Yata clasped his mouth with his other still human hand and murmured in a very low tone, "Don't scream. It irritates her."

It almost wanted to make Alex gag in reflex at the realisation that a spider's sexual organ was against his lips.

A slim woman with distinctive phoenix shaped eyes of amber emerged from the whitish fog in front of him. She had lips that were as red as blood, with long dark hair, which was partially braided. Dressed in a dark grey kimono yet wearing knee-high boots in black, she reminded Alex of a hot Harajuku goth.

Pretty as she was, a perilous air lingered around with a dark femme fatale gloom of an oppressive atmosphere. Alex could feel the suppression, like a mountain weighing down on his entire existence. Everything about her screamed death on her approach.

Yata bowed hastily to her as she glanced with contempt at his partial hairline spider-like hook from the plump pedipalp on Alex's arm as the fog swiftly dissipated, sucked within the wall of whitish vapors that resembled a doorway.

"Half a millennium and you can't even maintain a full form. Also, do you know how filthy those pedipalps are, feeling up the female spiders," she spoke without emotion in her voice.

Alex had an inner retch at the thought of spidery intimate relations as Yata immediately removed his hand.

Yet he couldn't figure out anger or boredom from her tone. It sounded like a monotonous chant than a rant.

One glance at Yata, and Alex realized that the once flamboyant spider in human form was now scratching his head in a very awkward pose, like a petulant child caught red-handed.

Five hundred years? The damn spider being was far more ancient than he thought, despite the teen-like behaviour. Alex only thought of him as a teenager, perhaps no more than a few decades old.

Her eyes continued looking in their direction like dead fish eyes. "Come with me."

Yata pointed to himself nervously, and she shook her head, gesturing at Alex.

"W-w-why?" Alex stammered, pointing to himself.

"You are dying and I can only preserve a soul before death takes the physical body," she replied.

Dying. That word slammed into Alex's head like a sledgehammer, smashing his mind into a million smithereens. He stared at her moving mouth. Kanghui was saying something, but he couldn't hear.

A rising anguish within his insides tightened his chest to the point of a nauseating suffocation. His head felt light, like in an endless fall, where his body descended rapidly into a dark abyss of hopelessness.

A firm hold on his shoulder snapped Alex back to the unpleasant present, and he looked at the most unexpected source of comfort - Yata, whose iridescent eyes had softened into a sympathetic gaze.

"Get a hold of yourself. It is only a passage of a cycle. She needs to take you to your body."

"But I am… d-d-dead."

"Not really," she said. "You need to return to sever the bond with your physical body for that to happen."

Alex stared at her blankly. Nothing made sense. If his body dies, won't it sever his bonds automatically?

"You are on life support now. They will remove everything soon. Your brain stem is still working, but your internal organs are decomposing within. Your kidneys failed. Then your…" she trailed off as Yata waved his hand a few times, disrupting her explanation. "What is it, Yata?"

"Human here is feeling rather… um… human? You know them better than I do…," Yata muttered meekly as he retreated into a defensive pose.

Kanghui rubbed her chin and thought hard of what she learnt from the textbook on doctor's bedside manners. An award winner, the humans called it. If it works, she would have learnt a new behavioural technique. If not, she could return it to the bookshop for a refund.

Humans nowadays needed more reassurance and sensitivity, unlike their fore-bearers. Needed to be softer with them. These books were only a recent addition in this century, compared to the older physician care manuals, which never focused on manners but the curative procedures.

"Sorry for your loss. Your parents are arriving by your bedside soon. I need to get you there now so that whatever words they say, you can listen to."

Alex blinked in disbelief at her demeanour, which seemed to lack any normal human reaction.

Here he was, made aware of his impending doom, and her tone felt automated like a robot.

Yata himself grimaced at her expressionless face and business-like words as he recalled his experience with the monotonous McDonald's assistant at Shinjuku last Thursday. The 'would you like your meal up-sized? Any sides to go? Which drink?' exchange, followed by a deadpan look when thanking him for his order.

"Yata, how did I do? They did say I needed feedback for improvement."

Yata slowly raised his thumbs up with great reluctance and overriding desire not to offend.

"Quit the flattery, out with the feedback."

"W-w-well, the s-s-shearing i-issue," Yata stammered.

"Good point. Yes. After your soul severs the bond from your body, you will undergo shearing. Painful, but we all went through it before," Kanghui spoke as though it was a walk in the park, and then she turned to Yata. "How's that?"

"A-a-ask Alex," Yata pointed at a stunned Alex.

Her face went up close to Alex's face and then a smile appeared on hers. It seemed too forced to Alex. "Any questions regarding shearing or death?"

"What is shearing again? Is it painful?"

"Shearing hurts like hell…" she paused for a while and ran a finger across her lips as though contemplating about the answer. "Three outcomes from shearing: be one of us, be a ghost or enter the reincarnation cycle. First option, you have to exert effort to hold your soul together. Last two, don't bother. Let nature take its course."

The answer was curt beyond expectation. Alex assumed that in her form of a woman, she would be chatty and will get into unnecessary details.

Was ignorance truly more blissful than knowing?

"Just let me know which option you want?"

"F-f-first? I d-dunno," Alex stuttered.

To Alex, the first choice seemed better than the last two, whatever this shearing was.

"Done deal. Yata, standby for my instructions. Any more questions?"

Even her orders didn't seem like orders. More like a monotonous speech of a robot.

Yata nodded his head as he retreated backwards, away from Kanghui and Alex, almost like he wanted to flee.

"Where are we going?" Alex gulped loudly.

"To the hospital where your body is," she replied with her cold gleaming amber eyes, devoid of feeling, staring into his. "Any more?"

Alex shook his head in mute silence.

Satisfied with his answer, she grabbed a shocked Alex by his collar and dragged him off into the white wall of fog.

"Better him than me," Yata muttered as he watched them disappear.

If they said spiders didn't have feelings, Kanghui would be the bottomless pit of despair.