Losing streak

Over the winter break, I have trained everything Holger told me to train. I have trained very hard.

We got a new teammate Alphonso Davies. He is a great guy. He also likes Basketball. Due to this, we were already three people playing Basketball. 

Davies, Alaba, and me.

The winter break was over very fast and the season started again.

We played against Hoffenheim in our first match. 

We played horribly and lost the game 2:0.

We didn't think much about it and blamed it on the winter break.

But after losing 2:1 to Stuttgart we couldn't blame it on the winter break anymore. We were forced to train more and I got to spend less time with Isa.

One thing to say. Me and Isa have recently gotten a little dog called "Coco".

Soon the third game came.

We lost 4:1 against Leverkusen. Now it was over. We were criticized by the media and everyone. 

We were wasting our points. Luckily we had a very good start in the season and were still 1st, but it was now very close.

The game against Leverkusen was the 4th game we lost after another if we include Frankfurt before the winter break.

But the most horrible thing still came. We lost in the DFB-Pokal. We lost in the penalty shootout after playing 0:0 in extra time + regular time.

There were huge shouts for Kovac to get out of class. 

Our next game was played against Schalke.

We had massive pressure from all sides in this game. If this game was lost Kovac would be sacked.

We played better and won the game 3:1.

Sadly I got myself a strain in a training match 2 days before our round of 16 matches against Livverpool.

This meant that I would miss our match against Liverpool and the match against Augsburg.

We didn't play too badly against Liverpool, but still lost 1:0 through a goal from Sadio Mane.

In the game against Augsburg, we played like the rest of the season. Normal again. Finally.

We won the game 2:0.

In the midweek game against Liverpool, I was fit again and in the starting eleven.

...

"This game of Bayern against Liverpool could be the final if the tournament tree decided differently. In Anfield(Liverpool home stadium) Liverpool won with a close 1:0.

Now in the Allianz-Arena, we can expect a heated battle between both sides. On Bayern's side, the young Maximilian Meyer is back in the starting eleven after a strain."

...

"The game starts and Bayern is trying to put pressure on Liverpool. But Liverpool is very stable on their defense and are making it extremely hard for Bayern to succeed."

...

"Long-range shot from Kimmich. Alisson saves the ball. Corner Kick. 

The corner taken quickly. Cross from Alaba. Sule heads. Crossbar. Goal kick for Liverpool."

...

"It is already half time and Bayern are trying everything in their might to shoot the 1:0."

...

"The second half is the same as the first half. Bayern still doing everything, but not succeeding.

...

"Meyer gets the ball. Oh. He doesn't get a good first touch and goes to a sprint battle against Trent-Alexander-Arnold for the ball. Meyer wins the ball and has time on the left flank of Liverpool. He cuts in and shoots with a finesse. ROBBEN CLASSIC. In the upper right corner. Meyer makes the 1:0 for Bayern."

...

"Now Full-time is over and it goes into extra time. Both teams didn't want to risk anything and played a boring rest of the game."

...

"Still a boring extra-time. Now it goes into the penalty shootout.

...

Fuck. I hate penalty shootouts. They were mostly chosen by luck. See it in Berlin. We lost in a penalty shootout. I wasn't too good at penalties. Due to this I didn't want to go on early. I was chosen as 7th.

It starts right now.

Lewandowski shoots and he misses. FUCK. THIS IS SO FUCKING DUMB. THE SAME AS IN HERTHA. WE WILL PROBABLY LOSE THIS SHIT.

I hated this damm feeling. I was still feeling weak.

Salah shoots and he hits the net. They got the lead.

The next is Müller. He shoots a good shot and gives us a chance for hope.

YES. NEUER SAVED IT. Neuer saved Manes's shot and equalized it.

...

4-3. The rest all made their shots. Now it is Van Dijks turn. He shoots. He makes it.

4-4.

Soon I already came on as the 7th. The one before me was Hummels, he missed, but luckily Arnold, who shot also missed.

I was feeling VERY VERY nervous. I almost couldn't breathe as I was so exhausted. Mentally and physically. I had a nauseous feeling. I shot.

The right corner. Alisson guessed it and saved it.

I almost cried at that moment knowing I probably made us lose this game.

The next shooter of Liverpool was Wijnaldum. He scored. We lost.

I was at fault. I had missed such an important shot. I was too weak. I was probably hated by the fans by now. I knew this feeling from my past life. Everyone was mad at me. 

I held my tears in till I was alone. I started to cry. Cry for a long time. Till I couldn't cry anymore.

I decided to get stronger and train. TRAIN. TRAIN. AND TRAIN. I wanted to get stronger. I didn't want to be at fault for losing again. I only wanted to be winning.

When I was at home I already washed my face and everything to not make my tears visible.

At home Isa started comforting me immediately. 

She didn't know how painful it was for me to hold in these tears, but I still did it to not let her worry.

In the next few days. Many media criticized me. I didn't know why. I may have missed that penalty, but I still was the one who made them make it to the penalty shootout. Luckily everyone was there for me. Especially Robben. He knew what I felt.