Ch 17: Charli

"Charli, you still there?"

My red-haired ghost friend appeared, sitting comfortably on a plastic chair. "You can call me Charlotte if you want."

"No, I like Charli," I said, holding Jay's hand. "Kind of reminds me of that Tiktok star, or that one British singer who did the chorus of Fancy."

"Charli XCX," my friend said with a smile. "To be compared to her, I'll take that as a compliment." she started to hum the famous song. "I'm so fancy, you already know." she moved her head, dancing to a silent melody. "I'm in the fast lane from LA to Tokyo."

The hospital room felt cold, sterile. It was the perfect place for someone to die. I pulled my knees to my chest. "Are you're thinking what I'm thinking?"

Charli shrugged. "There's a slim possibility the attackers know he's not dead?

"Slim possibility?"

"They haven't identified him," she pointed out, motioning to the fact that Jay was still listed as a John Doe. "And plus, we made it all the way to a different province."

"But the people who did this were truly evil. With connections to authorities in high places." I had to admit I was afraid. "How long before the police find the vehicles?"

"All they'll find is your body."

"And Jay's truck."

"I mean, even if they assume he murdered you no one going to do shit about it."

"What about when someone does something about it?" My mind was racing, something horrible was going to happen.

"We need to take it one day at a time." She walked over to Jay's body. "How is he?"

I could feel the breath in his lungs, gasping ever so softly. "He's alive."

"Will you be able to get him out of here?"

I looked at her with a mix of anger and confusion.

"I'll take that as a yes." Again she patted me on the head like a pet. "I'll be here if you need assistance."

"Um, ok?" Holding Jay's hand, I mentally created a message on the fly. He was a husband and father, a cop, a protector. He had lost his wife, his job, his career, but he still had his children. That was the key. I needed to make contact. Could I even do that?

I glanced towards Charli. She appeared to not even notice my plight. 'I guess I'm supposed to figure this out myself.' While holding Jay's hand. I tried to focus on his daughters. I could feel the names; Eve and Lucy. This was a start. I was just hoping that Eve or Lucy would be open to the words of a random First Nation angel. (Or a ghost. I was more likely just a creepy ghost attempting to haunt their dreams.)

I closed my eyes and tried to focus, on New York, California, happy blonde teenage girls living their best lives. Soon I could see a light, then two. 'Ok, hopefully, this would work.'

"Hi!" I said towards the light. "Lucy, or Eve, whoever I manage to get this message out to. You need to know that your Dad is in a bit of trouble. He is not safe, in Canada." The light was already flickering. "Look for him in Manitoba, please." That was all I could get out before the connection was lost. 'Well, Fuck. Tinkerbelle I am not.'

When I opened my eyes, I was back in the hospital room. I rested in Jay's bed, laying in his arms. The fact that I lost the connection meant he was getting weaker, but all I could do was wait. 'Oh well.' If I failed at least Jay and I would be together.

I looked to the chair; Charli was gone, I was alone. 'Great, just great.'

Time seemed to stand still in the windowless room. I never felt the need to sleep, instead, I existed in a state of emotional exhaustion. Even with a tube in his chest, Jay was bleeding badly. I could feel his left lung was struggling.

The machines were breathing for him. He had a PICC line in his chest since it would have been too difficult to find a vein in his damaged arms. But even then, he was given only a limited amount of morphine, along with a strong dosage of antibiotics. He wasn't expected to survive much longer.

'She's not coming is she?' Jay's voice spoke to me in my mind. His voice sounded clear, strong.

"Lucy or Eve?"

'Either, but I'd be very surprised if my fourteen-year-old manages to cross the border and travel this far north on her own.'

"If your daughters don't get here in time, I'll bring you to your wife, I promise." I had no idea how, but if she was the love of Jay's life, I'd find the way. "You don't have to be afraid, I won't let you die alone."

Jay blinked a single tear from his good eye. 'But I let you die alone.'

I could feel the aching truth in his words. He saw me as his child, someone he was meant to protect. "I won't hold it against you."

That got a smile; his broke skin, his bandages, blood. 'I love you.'

"I love you too." I stroked his hands, tracing the scars. there were new bruises, broken bones, and even a few missing fingertips. He'd suffered so much. What if no one came for him? But what if they did? Would his children even recognize his mangled face? All I could do was wait.

Every few hours a nurse checked in. Sometimes they noted his vitals, other times they changed his IV bags. Once in a blue moon, someone would actually make an effort to clean his stitches. That was why I was surprised when a team of ICU nurses came to give him a bath.

They came in with packaged bathing wipes, carefully cleaning around all of the sutures. The blankets were removed, revealing his body. He had lost both his legs and part of his hand. The extra materials had been used to create skin and muscle graphs to keep his organs alive. It would take another two days for Lucy to arrive.

Jay's nineteen-year-old daughter was a tall, slender girl with her mother's beauty and her father's height and rugged strength. On a good day, I imagined she looked like a supermodel. But today was not a good day. (By that, I mean she looked like she'd been through hell to get here.) Perhaps it was a good day.

The blonde girl ran to her father's side, falling to her knees as she sobbed. "Oh, God!" Everything else was unintelligible. She took a moment to find her breath. It had been a long difficult journey, but yes, this was a victory.

Placing my hand upon her shoulder, I could feel her thoughts. Somehow she had heard me. (Her sister did as well, but she was in no position to act on the information.) Lucy had apparently always known her father's contact information. For the first time in over a year, she called his house. No answer. She waited a few hours then tried the police station. She knew the names of a few of his coworkers, and they all agreed to run a welfare check.

After seeing the condition of his home, Jay was declared missing. Lucy went out of her way to contacted some of her dad's friends. Truckers, cops from other districts, any old redneck who was a regular at the local white-trash bar. She even spoke to family friends (of her mother) but no one had seen him. Many assured her that it was not worth her time to open a missing person's case. They (mainly his drinking buddies) claimed that Jay liked to travel, and perhaps he went north on a spiritual journey. Knowing how suspicious the whole scene seemed, she traveled to Manitoba on her own.

"Daddy," Lucy cried, cupping her hand over her mouth. Try as she would, the tears could not stop. Her hands were covered in cuts and bruises, and her shoes (expensive-looking ballet flats) were falling apart. Everything about her appeared to be falling apart.

Still, she had her father's strength. Soon she pulled herself together enough to form a coherent statement. "Daddy? I want you to come home with me." She declared that she would get him to her residence in California. "Me and Sam, we'll keep you safe."

"Sam?" I asked.

Jay was still too weak to reply, but I had a feeling he heard her.

Lucy forced a laugh, wiping tears from her eyes. "I forgot you never met my partner." Lucy's hand moved to her stomach. "You're going to love Sam. You two are so much alike."

'Was she pregnant?'

"It'll be nice to be a family again. I've missed you so much, Dad."

My ghost-heart filled with joy. And then the doctor spoke.

"Your father will be released upon his ability to be removed from the life support devices."

"Ok," she said, forcing her composure. "When can we try for that?"

"As soon as we get confirmation that you have medical power of attorney."

From his medical records, from his own state- from the police. This was the very thing that could set off a chain of events. But Lucy had no choice. She was about to knock over the first domino.

Unless Jay could wake up on his own. 'Wake up Jay!' I gripped his hand as hard as I could, causing his muscles to contract. I could move his hand.

Jay blinked his eye as a gulp of air caught in his throat. His fingers attempted to fold around mine, but since I was transparent it was Lucy who felt his movement.

"Dad?" Lucy rested her head on his chest, holding him close as she cried.

Jay placed his hand upon her back, stroking her hair. "Who's Sam?"

Lucy was crying too hard to respond but soon she was laughing. "I met her online, just after mom died. She was the reason I moved out to Sacramento."

"She?"

"Started out as a friend, then a mentor. When I met her she was a lawyer but now she's actually a clerk to the current junior senator." Lucy lifted her head, wiping tears from her eyes. "Sam's great, you'll love her as much as I do."

"As long as she takes good care of you," the words sputtered from Jay's chapped, blood-caked lips.

Lucy nodded. "She does, but she's not a replacement for you." She reached for his face, stroking his bandaged eye. "I never wanted to leave you, neither did Eve."

Jay was too emotional to speak. Instead, he looked in my direction.

I nodded and smiled. 'You've already done it.'

Jay's voice was becoming clearer. "I'm so sorry."

"You gave us the chance to run." Lucy seemed calm in her truth. "You sacrificed your sanity so that we could get as far away as possible. I found happiness and I want you with me."

Jay was still in so much pain, but he was alive. He would be allowed to leave with his daughter.

For the next few hours, Lucy told him about her life. She had gotten married a year ago, and they'd been prepping for IVF. (So yeah, she was two months pregnant with his grandbaby.) This of course meant that Lucy's wife took extra safety precautions.

Apparently, Sam was someone with political power. Knowing the life Lucy had escaped from, she made sure that in the event that Lucy located her father they could get him out of the country on a refugee visa. (Yes, a Canadian seeking refugee status in America.) I had to assume Sam was a political wizard-superhero.

I listened to Lucy's plan with great interest. They would get on a plane with a police escort. When they landed at an airport across the border. They would be allowed in, no questions asked.

Until he set foot on American soil. Once in California, he would be checked in to a more expensive, local hospital. Maybe if I played my cards right, I could come back as Jay's grandbaby. His white, upper-class grandbaby would have no memories of life in Canada.

Maybe, just maybe, I could finally get my own happily ever after. (Not that I deserved it.) Was that why Charli left? I really missed her.

Jay had suffered a brain injury and he would likely never see or walk again. In time he might be able to survive without a feeding tube, but for discharge, he would be given an external device. The pump administered a dosage of food once an hour.

It took another three days for Jay to get medically cleared to fly back to California with Lucy.

He had no passport or identification and traveled in a wheelchair. He could travel without oxygen, but not for an extended period of time. First, we landed in Seattle. We were met by the local police. Jay was given more oxygen and a chance to rest for a bit, while Lucy talked with various people.

That was when I spotted a familiar flight attendant. Charli was sitting at a bar, looking as dead and burnt as usual.

I looked down to see what I was wearing. Prior to that, I had no reason to look down at my own body. My skin flickered in and out of view, eventually covered with a white dress. It was plain, simple, like something you could buy at Target or Walmart.

"We look the way we want to look." Charli was now standing behind me. She took a seat by my side, running her fingers through her hair. Her bright red waves were now long, healthy, like a mermaid on land. "Check out Miss Lucy, she's totally miking the story."

"How much does she know of the story?" I asked. I had not paid attention to the private conversations between Lucy and her father. They mostly talked about the past and their dreams of the future. But there had to be something that lead her to Manitoba. The huge, gigantic, province of Manitoba. How had she found him so quickly?

I perked up my ears, moving towards where Lucy was speaking with a police officer and a journalist. They asked her about the modern mystery, a creepypasta if you will that was the story of my death. The RCMP tried to convince the first nation locals that Jay killed me and then fled the scene. That theory made no sense (and everyone knew it.)

It went viral on sites like Youtube, Yahoo, and TikTok (all of the gossip sites, the places that like to turn mysteries into legends.) And now people wanted Lucy's side. "My sister and I, we had a dream. I heard the voice of a girl who told me that my father was in trouble. I hadn't spoken to him in a while. So, I tried to find him using the phone, but when that didn't work." Lucy was becoming choked with emotion. "I knew he was pretty much gone, I knew I needed to go find him."

I rode with them on the airplane, my first ever. Jay was on a stretcher, suffering from chronic pain, but he was alive. "This means his attackers could pay for his crimes, right?" I asked Charli.

Charli sat in the aisle of the plane. "His attackers? Not your murders?"

"No one cares about a first nation whore."

"Why do you keep calling yourself a whore?"

"I guess it's just my thing." I reached for Jay's hand. It felt nice. He was warm, comforting, alive.

Lucy was on her laptop. I assumed she was texting to Sam, making preparations for their arrival.

Soon we landed in San Francisco; one of many sanctuary cities, a place where a refugee could hide long enough to catch his breath. He was given a private suite at St. Mary's, a posh place that would not typically house immigrants with no insurance. I slept by his side, watching every breath. I remained hopeful until I hear something I shouldn't have.

"There's really nothing we can do?" Lucy asked, crying to her partner.

Sam, an older woman with a motherly demeanor held her close. "I will fight with every resource I have to keep him in California." Turns out, there was a warrant for Jay's arrest concerning my death and the missing car that my corpse was found in. Jay was the only person of interest. Randell Fish and his friends would never face justice.

This was not ok. I went to the roof to scream into the night. Throwing my hands back, the sound that came out of my chest was the sound of a bird screeching. I crossed my arms over my stomach, pinching myself over and over. 'Wake up, just wake up!' Nothing happened. "This life fucking sucks!"

I had no idea if I could even be reborn or if I was going to move on. Right now I'd even take burning in hell or vanishing into oblivion.

Anything was better than the sickening feeling of helplessness. What if I was stuck for all of eternity? Jay needed me. That was why I was here.

"You need to go back to Canada, you know that right?" The voice was male, deep, and scratchy like a smoker.

"Hello?"

The sound was familiar, but the volume was strange, it seemed to echo on the wind, wrapping around my head before settling next to me. "Hi, Tia."

"Dad?"

He started to form before my eyes. At first, it was a black and white version of my father, the night of his death. His long hair was pulled back in a braid, with a few strands around his face. His eyes were dark and deep, with prominent wrinkles, as he looked lovingly at the cigarette in his hands. "Hey, baby girl," the ghost said as he lit up with a flick of his wrist, conjuring a bright blue flame.

"Hey," my voice broke. This had to be a dream. "Where'd you get the cigarette?"

"From the pack that I died with."

I nodded, too nervous to do anything more. "That makes sense." I was afraid to touch him. Part of me knew he would vanish the moment I became too greedy.

"You can't move on until you send Randel Fish straight to hell. As long as he's alive, your little cop friend is in danger."

"Why do you even care? From what I hear you and Jay have some history."

"I care because you care." My father's face fell into an expression of sadness and remorse. "I did a lot of shit in my life that I regret.

"Really?"

"I never wanted this life for you. I mean, do you think I liked seeing you do that shit? When you came home with your grocery bag full of tens and twenties, you were so proud, but I wanted to vomit."

"I remember." Before I owned a purse, I carried all of my worldly possessions in a plastic bag that I grabbed from the trash can of a gas station restroom.

"I wanted so much more for you." My father paused taking a drag of his cigarette. "But I had no means of making things better for us."

I wanted to tell him I loved him, that I forgave him. "What's going to happen to you?"

"I don't even know." My father took another long drag and blew out a glowing blue cloud of smoke. "I just know you're different, you're strong. You have a chance to make things right."

"Killing Randell Fish will make things right?" I asked with a sarcastic smirk. "Do you know how many girls across Canada are turning tricks for drug money? Or how about the highway of tears; a collection of cases showing just how fucked up it is to be Indigenous in Canada. We're still being targeted like the lower lifeforms, hunted like animals and no one cares."

My father only nodded, his eyes glowing in the light of the moon. "I met of few of them."

"You what?"

"I've met a few on my journey; the restless souls lost forever in their earthly pain. A few have found the strength to cross over but most have chosen to stick around to watch over friends and loved ones."

"Wow, I can imagine."

"And then there's Coreen Thomas, she died while pregnant." My father paused to take another drag of his mystical cigarette. "The unborn baby was like a second soul, a source of power that allowed her to ascend."

"Ascend? So, she went to heaven?"

"For her it's heaven," he said with a shrug. "But the work that she does is still here on earth."

"You mean kicking trucker ass?" I could imagine her as a First Nation avenging angel.

"She lives as a mentor, a guardian." He bobbed his head to an unseen beat. "And if you need help, seek her out."

"That actually sounds like a good idea, but I'd want to say goodbye to Jay first. If that's allowed?"

"As far as I know." Father shrugged as he put out the cigarette in the palm of his hand. Instead of a burn, this act created a small firework-like effect. "But you do what you gotta do."

'I will, Dad. I will.' I floated through the ceiling, landing in the guest room at Jay's side. He was asleep, looking peaceful for the first time in a while. "Hello, Officer Jayden."

He smiled, his hand reaching for mine. "Tia," he said in a soft breath. "Don't tell me this is goodbye."

"This isn't goodbye." I rested my head on his. Jay had a bad fever, there was a chance he wouldn't survive to tell his side of the story. I cupped his face, looking deep into his blue eyes. His weak blinded eyes were still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. "I'm just going back to Canada to kick some trucker ass."

Jay tried to laugh but the motion caused a spasm in his chest. This was followed by a painful cough.

"Shh, just relax." I held him close, feeling his energy ripple through my ghost form. "Just relax, you're ok. Everything is going to be ok." I placed my lips to his open mouth, holding the kiss as we both wept. "You're going to be an amazing grandpa. You have so much love inside you. I wish I could have known you for longer."

"Tia?" Jay said, his voice was a little more than a whisper. "Are you moving on?"

"No, I think I'm going to be diving back into hell. I don't even know how I'll get there but I'll bring you Randell Fish's head, I promise."

"You make a lot of promises."

"I kind of do." I looked at his heart monitor. He was weak, cold, in so much pain. What if he died when I was away? "I just want to be your Tinkerbell."

"You're gonna grant me a wish?" he said with a smile. "I settle for seeing you again."

"Me too, Mr. Jay. Me too." I took one step and then another, walking towards the front door.

Lucy was in the kitchen drinking a glass of ice water. Her hands trembled, causing the ice to make a shimmering sound. I placed my hand over her fingers.

"I need you to watch over him, Lucy." I blinked back tears. "He's strong, he's going to survive. But he needs someone to live for. And that person needs to be you. I believe in you."

She held the glass to her stomach, letting the cold seep through her shirt, to her skin. She was talking to her baby.

I reached for her hand, unsure if she could feel me. "Hopefully, I'll see you soon." I passed through the door to the sight of Charli.

"We ready to do this?"

"Always."