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Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Tired of one bad choice in the personalization of his trait, Kaye, now Kai, logically planned his suicide for a better chance of reincarnation to get rid of the curse that his trait had almost become. Now, Kai is in a world where people breathe fire and fart thunder! *** Warning: I'm still playing with the idea of a female and submissive Orochimaru and if you don't think fem Orochi is a waifu with a long tongue and a quirk of swallowing things then... welp. The harem and r18 stuff will happen later because I generally write them after developing a few things but the work is at a fast pace in the terms of mc's strength and growth. Slight AU. *** I do not own the cover pic, credits to the creator. If you want me to take it down, I will.

FanHarem · Anime e quadrinhos
Classificações insuficientes
237 Chs

Evaluation

A pinky-sized pure white snake continued to slither in the area with its only indication of its passing being its soft hisses. Yet, the three bandits failed to consider the thin senbon needles it continued to spit around and scurry away. This continued for a few minutes until—

*Boom*

*Boom*

*Boom*

Multiple short-scaled explosions shook the tiny area of the forest while the snake slithered back to a boy resting against a tree and slid up his body until it contentedly slipped into his left sleeve where the boy wore a special wrist guard to house his precious.

Next to him sat a blonde image of perfection in a not-so-perfect situation while picking her nose idly and blowing over the tip of her finger later. Two shadows suddenly appeared in front of the duo and the raven-haired girl wearing her hair in a bun smiled, "Targets eliminated, Sensei."

"Hmm, the ability to communicate with your pet is just the cherry on the top, huh. Our missions just got several times easier," Tsunade smiled at Kai who grinned in return. Honestly, this sudden skill while trying to train Cinnamon was a surprise to him, too.

[Beast Chatter (10/10): The ability to convey to animals linked with the host's chakra. Perception stat increased by 1 at every level. Reduce Chakra consumption by 5℅ after every level. Current consumption: 10/min.]

[Perception stat reached a threshold. Meta-physical sensing markedly improved.]

[Increase the rate of chakra regeneration by 5 times.]

[Perception: 62→ 72/1000]

Chakra: 14731.5 (3998→ 4209*250℅) || (367.5/min) (105*250%/min)

Only at the fifth month of the year, this was their 12th C-rank mission which stacked his SP just nice. He was a little short of reaching 500!

Anyway, Beast Chatter only allowed Kai to communicate with Cinnamon but it didn't allow the poor soul to communicate back. Cinnamon could only twist its tiny body in certain shapes to communicate simple intentions or rest and have her poison bath later.

"I want one..." Kushina continued to sulk as Tsunade shot the red-haired devil a glare, "What did I tell you about being cautious? Stay alert!"

Mikoto and Kushina gave their Sensei a rebuking glare as these standards weren't being applied to Kai for some time. Ever since Kai returned from Orochimaru's care and sung his praises, Tsunade just had a mental scare and tried her level best to let the boy know that SHE is the best thing that could and would ever happen to him. Her pride as a Sensei won't settle for anything less!

But such back-to-back missions left others a little on the edge and Kai's ability to just send Cinnamon to take on the bandits made it too easy! Of course, no matter how easy the mission was, Kai never left the village with any weights on. Even the chakra mesh shirt was cranked back to become normal until he thought otherwise.

They soon returned to the village with a slightly exhausted expression. They were dirty and grimy and needed to refresh themselves. But they already had a destination in mind to meet each other later and left. They'd been genins for 5 months now and Team Tsunade's rate of success was easy to notice. With Nawaki held back in the clan and Orochimaru happy to let the situation exist so that he can focus on his more immediate goals made sure that Team Orochimaru had no missions. In fact, there's a quota of missions that a team must complete but because of the Senju lockdown, Orochimaru was exempted from any charges.

The other team who was catching up to Team Tsunade wasn't Team Jiraiya. No. Jiraiya would leave the village regularly and only return to fulfill the quota yet whenever he returned every month, he made sure to beat some new training into his apprentices. From Team Jiraiya, the one who entered into the Mandatory Medic-nin reform was Noha Utatane. It wasn't a team in the first place but a member of the genin corps.

Various teams will be evaluated today and will be given a short briefing on what to expect in the future missions since Konohagakure just received another wave of missions. This is an unusual case because the number of missions is startling but the amount of money they can generate is too good to be left and even if they did consider potential traps given the situation, Konoha would still undertake missions because that's its lifeline.

Tsunade knew more about the situation. With her action of bringing in every wayward Senju, others knew that it would be only a matter of time before Iwa and Kumo realize that the jig is up and get even brasher with their preparations. So, the other clans decided to only move the civilian members situated very close to the borders of the nation. As for the rest of the innocent villagers... Konoha didn't dare move them. It would instantly launch the war. Right now, basic skirmishes have already begun with shinobi from Iwa, Suna, and Kumo entering their borders openly for dubious reasons, increasing conflict and harming the public whenever possible and in turn, Konoha could only reply in kind.

But everyone knew that the war cannot be fought in their lands... what a complicated and riddled subject war really is, sigh...

The discussion in the War Council was getting heated every day and more and more radical approaches were set on the table but when three shinobi villages are eyeing you like a fat piece of juicy meat, radical is the way to go.

Mito never once entered the war council letting her disinterest know but the secret letter transported to Tsunade through a seal demanding every single bit or facing retribution... seemed to indicate otherwise.

Still, each team had its own time to meet with the administrative department and Team Tsunade arrived on time.

---

The Hokage and the three elders sat in an intimate setting with three couches facing the table. Koharu and Homura sat on the left couch adjacent to Hiruzen's and opposite to Danzo.

They soon let their next visitor in and Tsunade led her team into the room with a smile, "Nice to see you again, Sensei."

"Hmm, I read the report, Tsunade. Impeccable work as always," Hiruzen smiled before letting his vision drift over to the team behind her and nodded, "You children have performed excellently, too."

By now, the use of medic-nin in each team was becoming more and more apparent. Hiruzen did not doubt that their advantage of iryo ninjutsu would fade with other villages catching on to some degree but it was enough now. It would give them more than enough time for respite and more.

His praise was well-received by the team mostly. Mikoto's calm smile lit up, Kushina's grin widened and Kai bobbed his head down with a short smirk.

"Tsunade, I will start with you so your team can understand how we generally undertake evaluations."

"Right," Tsunade nodded and exhaled sharply before standing straight and puffing out her chest with an obvious jiggle that caught everyone's attention, "Jonin Tsunade reporting for evaluation!"

"At ease, Jonin," Hiruzen nodded, "In these five months you have gotten your team, they have completed more than 53 D-rank Missions and 12 C-rank missions. Aside from one C-rank mission where a genin by the name of Mikoto Uchiha and a genin by the name of Kushina Uzumaki showed signs of insubordination, the records mark your progress as excellent."

"Mission Reports aside, the reports from the Mandatory Reforms show that Mikoto Uchiha has chosen to become the team's medic-nin and has passed the examination set by the Head Doctors before utilizing the basic C-rank Iryo Ninjutsu— Mystical Palm Technique and getting yourself certified as an apprentice medic-nin that can be called into the hospital in times of dire need.

Your performance reports state that Kushina Uzumaki has agreed to learn more detailed Kenjutsu from a retired Jonin Ken Senju while managing to master the C-ranked Fuinjutsu matrix seals of her parent clan— the Uzumaki Clan.

Your performance reports state that Kai has agreed to learn from a Jonin Sensei named Orochimaru and mastered two C-ranked Genjutsu.

Your performance reports state that Mikoto Uchiha and Kai have learned the concoction of poison recipes marked in the secret record of Konoha Recipes namely— 13a, 13b, 15a, 18c.

Is there anything else you would like to add?"

"No, Lord Third," Tsunade smiled and Hiruzen nodded.

"Genin by the name of Kushina Uzumaki, please step forward."

"Yes! Genin Kushina Uzumaki reporting for evaluation!"

"At ease," Hiruzen smiled and didn't let his complicated feeling about Uzushiogakure affect the task.

"Genin Kushina Uzumaki, your performance report has been evaluated in front of you. Do you have anything more to add?"

"No, lord Hokage," Kushina shook her head.

"Your Jonin Sensei has recommended you for a special Chunin promotion while concluding the said review with words suggesting your skills, physical reactions, chakra capacity, and experience far surpass that of Shinobi titled Genin. Do you have anything to add?"

Kushina blinked. Others except Tsunade did, too. The redhead did not expect this and grew hesitant for a moment before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. She spoke with determination, "I believe I am ready, Lord Third!"

"Hmm, Genin Mikoto Uchiha," Hiruzen called out and the raven-haired girl walked out before committing the same formalities as the man sighed while remembering a good friend of his and questioned, "Your mission report mentions a rare moment of insubordination on your otherwise stellar record. It was stated that the emotional outburst caused by the acts of sexual assault made you go unconscious. Is this true?"

Hiruzen didn't mince his words as Mikoto felt the silent stares of other elders and they were in no way positive. While the Uchiha clan is loved by many in the village, they are feared more than many, too.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. It's true."

"Did your clan's Kekkei Genkai, a Dojutsu by the name of Sharingan activate after this incident?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Do you still experience the violent urges that led to your insubordination in the first place?"

"No, Hokage-same. Sensei Tsunade has been accommodating when needed and stern when required. I was reprimanded for my actions and punished in the form of giving to the village by performing more D-rank missions."

Hokage nodded and a tinge of satisfaction could be seen on Tsunade's face as Hiruzen spoke the same thing about the promotion and got a similar response while he continued, "Genin Kai."

Kai stepped out and did the same as the previous three.

"Genin Kai, your performance review has been excellent and your ability is well-noticed by many Jonins. Would you like to comment on that?"

"No, Hokage-sama."

"How old are you this year?"

"5."

"A child by the age of 5 has completed assignments that made him witness acts of cruelty and asked of him to commit murders. Would you like to comment on that?"

"Yes, it is my duty to fulfill the mission whatever it may require."

"Have you faced any psychological issues in the form of nightmares or blood scares?"

Tsunade frowned slightly. She was worried that her Sensei may go down this route. If Kai responds in the affirmative, Hiruzen will reject the special promotion and would have her complete the deal of 20 missions. If Kai declines it then it will be stated that the boy needs regular mental check-ups. Either way, her request will be denied.

"Jonin by the name of Jiraiya helped me cope with the stress of missions. In his words— Nothing like a breast to squeeze to forget murder and firm pair of buttocks to spank for the sound of agonized screams to leave forever."

Everyone's eyes widened while their thoughts froze.

Kushina and Mikoto blushed while a vein popped over Tsunade's forehead at the thought of what that man was teachinG HER student. Hiruzen blushed in anger and shame while the three elders frowned... because they noticed no humor from the boy. He was being dead serious!

"I see. Jonin Jiraiya is not a certified individual. Given the state of the team's condition, the request for special promotion is declined and it is declared for Genin Kai to have three mental check-ups for the next three weeks with Jonin Orochimaru. If the reports are found positive, a promotion mission must be completed with the rewards being a C-ranked Jutsu in all three main jutsu categories.

After that, Hiruzen explained how the missions from now on may have higher risks than stated and everyone must complete their tasks cautiously before dismissing the group who was utterly infuriated at Jiraiya even if they were fated to be rejected in the first place. Hiruzen just placed his question in a way that any answer will blow up on their faces.

As they left, a lone figure entered after a few minutes which made Danzo a little interested.

"Genin Nono Yakushi reporting for evaluation!"

---

Just because Hokage was done with his evaluation didn't mean Mito was. Of course, she excluded Mikoto since her presence didn't have a huge effect on the Uzumaki compound and Tsunade left with an annoyed pout once Mito was done talking with her privately.

Kai sat close to her feet. It was just too usual for him now. Heck, his hands felt weird in missions if they didn't run a pair of feet. Too bad he couldn't provide such fresh experience to his teammates or Sensei as this was entirely reserved for the sweet woman who decided to sponsor him. And Kushina, despite having grown, found the relaxation she sought desperately after every mission in Mito's arms. Her words being— Grandma Mito's embrace is very warm.

"I'm not going to live for very long." Mito dropped the bomb... well, it wasn't really a bomb. She was already so old, what could someone expect aside from a peaceful death? Rising from the ashes like a phoenix? If only there was such a Jutsu...

Kai thought back at Orochimaru and his love for Jutsu once again.

"Huh? Come on, Grandma, this isn't even funny!" Kushina pouted as Mito continued, "Since what we consider the beginning of time, there have been nine chakra beasts of immense strength known as bijuu. The bijuu, aside from their monstrous chakra reserves with the weakest having dozens of times higher than the strongest shinobi ever, also have their unique capabilities but I will not go deep into that one.

When my husband was alive, these Bijuus of extraordinary power could only be sealed and not killed because they will come to life again and again. However, after his death, the various shinobi villages began to fail to contain these beasts in inanimate objects and followed my example to contain the beasts in a human that would suppress them... till they live."

Mito smiled, enjoying the contrasting expression on Kai's and Kushina's faces. While her supposed redheaded successor looked utterly distraught, tears beginning to already fill the watery eyes of the otherwise hyperactive lass as she wholly ignored the implications Mito wished to convey, just like Mito was when she was young, the old woman found Kai a bit more amusing. He looked sad but why he hid it quickly was something she wouldn't know. But through the blank exterior of the boy that he seemed to have mastered by now, Mito felt more.

Sadness was present the entire time, who knows, maybe the boy will miss massaging her legs now that he did the task even without her asking. But as she spoke of Bijuus, his curiosity was piqued and when she spoke of the beast within her... he seemed a little interested. Just the right amount. Not too much to probably try it himself and not too little— ah, Mito had to suppress her smile as the boy looked towards Kushina with barely suppressed indignance. He figured out what she meant.

The two were practically inseparable now and not because Kai was supposed to be her guardian. For all his disgruntlement, he entertained Kushina's requests more than anybody and the idea that some beast would be settling in her didn't settle right with Kai. It just felt dirty and not in the right manner.

"But... but," Kushina fumbled, unable to process things. She had been scared to move away from her clan but the people who made her at ease in this new village just became too close for her and the thought of even losing one of them despite having become more than a potent killer was just... shattering. Tears began to slowly roll down her cheeks, her nose sniffing loudly to control her running nose unsuccessfully as she sobbed lightly.

"And here I thought both brats would be having a hard time controlling their sobs," Mito smiled and let the girl ruin her expensive white dress as she began crying loudly, unable to express herself any other way meanwhile Kai silently massaged the woman's legs mumbling, "Even if I do cry... it'll at least be at the funeral..."

'Heh,' Having had her fun, Mito smirked and hummed loudly, "Before I eventually leave, you should know that the Uzumaki Guardians, at most, are taught D-rank basics. Any seals and matrix above C-rank much less the entire binding of it that I taught you are not a general outcome of situations. And I'm aware that you would want to learn more about Fuinjutsu. With the Uzumaki clan being the greatest in that field, your hope in growing that skill set lies in the Uzumaki clan, too."

Kai nodded as Mito continued, "I may still be here but take care of her..."

He nodded again but felt much more stifled as Mito reached out and patted the boy's head, "Besides, with what I have taught you and what Tsunade will teach you in time, you may just create fuinjutsu on your own." Oh, he planned to form more skills since they could be created by doing certain actions but... still doesn't change what Mito said.

"And with that, we'll start my personal evaluation of the two of you. Kushina, still a cry baby. Must work on this." The girl looked with her eyes red, glaring as Mito continued casually, "Kai, too young. Must grow quickly."

He rolled his eyes. How the hell was he supposed to do that?

"Oh and while guardians can only gain access to little information... there are a few titles you can earn for yourself," Mito smiled, "So, grow quickly."

"Really? Like what?" Kai inquired with slight eagerness, finding the topic more to his choice.

"You'll figure it out... sigh, no off with you two. And send a maid with a change of clothes and oh, Kai-kun, I took the liberty to change your room to a more complimentary one."

Kai nodded as Mito told him the directions and he dragged away the bawling Kushina from the Uzumaki Mistress.

***

Shoutout to Robert Bieluszeweski, Mark Music, Leo, and Dragon Wolf!!

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