Chapter 2 Are You For Me?

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She no longer hid away to cry in aggrievement, instead, she stretched her mouth into a wide smile, a forced smile, despite the torrential rain pouring in a corner of her heart.

Li Li's academic performance was exceptional, and the top spot in her grade had never slipped from her grasp. Before her first exam in the first grade, her uncle helped her review math, patting her head and saying, "Li Li, if a girl isn't pretty, she has to find a way to be smart, otherwise, she'll really end up unwanted."

Li Li nodded in semi-understanding, but since her uncle wanted her to be a smart girl, she took the task seriously.

Li Li took her mother's surname, and her father had divorced her mother before she could form any clear memories. Her mother, Li Meiqing, took her back to her maiden home and changed her surname. Li Li once coaxed out of her uncle the truth—that her biological father's surname was Liu, and her original name was Liao Li.

She couldn't find any trace of her father at home, as Li Meiqing had erased all signs of him, but Li Li remained before her eyes. After entering middle school, Li Li often thought that she might be the thorn in her mother's heart, constantly reminding her of her failed marriage, yet unable to discard the burden. From this, she speculated another possibility—that her father, whom she had no impression of, disliked her even more than Li Meiqing did?

Children with inferiority complexes are usually more sensitive and precocious than their peers, and Li Li was no exception. She played jump rope with the other girls at school, argued about which member of Little Tiger Team was the handsomest, and secretly discussed which boy liked which girl. She laughed the loudest among these girls, seeming no different from the silly girls of her age. However, away from everyone's sight, she never smiled.

The class Li Li belonged to, Class Four, was renowned for its beautiful girls, and there were those who secretly voted on the "Flower of the Grade," with several winners from her class.

The allure of pretty girls was astounding, as they were unanimously elected to student government positions, often as class president, event organizer, or art committee member—positions with prestigious titles but relatively light responsibilities. Even the role of academic committee, which should have been hers as the top student, was taken by the delicate Qiu Yuerong with a coquettish whine of "I don't want to be labor committee." Li Li smiled generously and took up the duty of the labor committee without complaint.

The labor committee was a thankless task—ensuring that the class was cleaned by the duty students before she could go home every day. It wasn't too bad when girls were on duty, but the boys would look for excuses to duck out as soon as class ended, and Li Li was often chasing them down to come back and clean. During school-wide clean-ups, her motivational speeches as labor committee had less impact than the beautiful class president's flirtatious prompting.

In mid-June, before the bet with Pei Shangxuan, Li Li wrote a resignation letter, stepping down from her position as class labor committee. This act caused a minor sensation in the school, which had been established for only thirty years. Her teacher, Tao Haijuan, who loved standing out, was thrilled to see the words "resignation letter" and quickly circulated it in the staff room, even garnering the principal's attention.

The position of labor committee wasn't particularly significant, symbolized only by two stripes on the left arm representing the rank of squad leader; but neither was it trivial, as being elected to a class official position was a serious matter in the middle schools of 1990, and there were official school records. So, the issue escalated and resulted in widespread discussions, ending with Li Li being summoned to the principal's office.

The amiable-looking Principal Shen, with his gentle eyes and kind face, was reminiscent of the Maitreya Buddha statue Li Li's grandmother took her to worship at the temple. Li Li sat upright on the sofa in Principal Shen's office, her hands folded neatly on her lap.

Principal Shen held her resignation letter and first complimented her on her beautiful handwriting. Li Li looked up and gave a wide smile, saying that it was all thanks to her uncle's encouragement to practice her handwriting.

Before talking to Li Li, Principal Shen had asked Tao Haijuan about Li Li's background because "resignation" was an adult term for a girl not yet fourteen years old.

Looking at the girl who laughed unabashedly and even somewhat unattractively, it was hard for the warm-hearted principal not to be stirred by the coldness in her eyes. He kindly asked her why she was determined to resign.

"Putting things to their best use, others have a stronger appeal than me," Li Li said casually, "And besides, it's not interesting."

"Then... what would you find interesting?" At the rebellious age, nothing pleases the eye.

Li Li twirled her index fingers around each other, head bowed engrossed in the action, and calmly replied, "Principal, it's a matter of self-confidence. At this stage, my personality is still not fully formed, and I do not wish to live the rest of my life in insecurity. Continuing as a class officer would only make me feel increasingly frustrated and lead to a personality grounded in inferiority."

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Principal Shen was completely dumbfounded. Is this something a first-year student would say?

Li Li stepped out of the principal's office and saw Pei Shangxuan standing at the end of the corridor, drawing something on the cement floor with the tip of his shoe. She hesitated for a moment and then walked toward her deskmate, with whom she only sat together for one week each month.

In fact, with Pei Shangxuan's height, sitting in the third row of the classroom was an absolute waste, and both of his eyes had a vision of 1.5. Li Li, whenever she switched seats to sit with him, could not help but silently criticize him for not loving to study, claiming a seat in the front of the room was simply an insult to the teacher.

Pei Shangxuan was somewhat of an oddity; he was lackadaisical about his studies, but somehow managed to win over every teacher's heart. Li Li's disapproval was pointless because this boy belonged to the type that was good-looking. More than once, she had heard girls privately discussing which boy in their grade was the handsomest, and Pei Shangxuan's name always came up. Li Li didn't have a strong impression of her deskmate, whom she sat with every three weeks, but after hearing other people's discussions and looking at him again, he actually became more and more pleasing to the eye.

"Pei Shangxuan, what are you doing here?" Li Li approached him and spoke slightly looking up.

"That... that, did you quit because of me?" the boy asked stutteringly, his gaze flickering.

Li Li was startled and couldn't help but wonder where he got that idea, "Hey, aren't you thinking too highly of yourself?" Quit because of him? That's laughable!

Pei Shangxuan seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, still muttering under his breath, "That time you caught me for duty and I ran away, I thought you were angry because of that."

Hearing him mention it, Li Li had completely forgotten about that incident. She grinned and punched him in the chest with her fist, laughing, "I forgot about that, now that I remember, I owe you a beating."

"No compensation for an outdated issue," Pei Shangxuan turned and ran down the stairs, flashing her a "V" sign.

A boy like Pei Shangxuan was destined to become an influential figure in the school, but that was referring to everything but his academic performance.

Students generally admired two types of people: the first kind was brilliant in their studies, so smart it made others wish they had been born a year later to avoid competing in exams; the second kind was adept at stirring trouble, fighting, and indulging in all forms of revelry, making others wish to call them brothers and join in the "misconduct." Compared to the first, the second type was often more popular due to the natural rebellion of teenagers against conformity.

No sooner had Pei Shangxuan entered the school than he had fought with a senior. Nearly every school has some bad students who like to bully and extort money from juniors. Most students, limited by their size, would simply submit, but Pei Shangxuan didn't care. He fought back regardless, and even though he ended up battered and bruised, he made a name for himself with that fight.

Pei Shangxuan was a first-year celebrity, barely acknowledging the bookish, serious students. In fact, he was particularly dissatisfied because Tao Haijuan came up with some sort of rotating deskmate system, which meant he was forced to sit with the nerdy Li Li every three weeks.

Pei Shangxuan didn't have particular feelings towards Li Li; like most boys, he liked looking at pretty girls. Apart from occasionally copying Li Li's homework and exchanging a few words, they barely spoke more than thirty sentences in a week. Li Li's indifference toward him didn't really bother him; everyone knew she was the good student who listened attentively in class, never uttering a word of nonsense.

(End of Chapter)

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