36. Chapter 36

CARINA’S POV

His words were still running through my head, and I never thought I would even consider having a heart attack before my forties, but it was about to happen. I was dizzy, my heart was beating faster than ever before, my hands were sweating, there was a strange tightness in my chest along with intense nausea, and the array of symptoms only made me even more flustered and anguished.

At the same time that I had completely melted with all the love I had heard coming from her words, her gaze, her slightly embarrassed smile as she asked me to move in with her, I was trying to cling to the last shred of rationality that was left inside of me to not let my expectations rise so quickly and words come out of my mouth in a burst of impulsiveness. I had dreamed about those words for weeks, the desire to share life with Maya only grew inside me with each and every moment we experienced together, but life wasn't just made of dreams and expectations, reality can be much crueler and require more reasoning than I would have liked.

-But... - I tried to quiet all the thoughts running through my mind, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on taking deep breaths to calm my body as well, and when I opened my eyes again I saw that Maya's eyes were much brighter than usual with the tears that were gathering there; the skin of her neck was starting to become much redder as well as the tip of her nose and seeing her like this only stirred up my own desire to cry. - But this is a big step, bambina, and I don't want you to make this decision, to ask me to move in with you just because you don't want to be alone at the end of your shift. It's a big decision and I don't know if you're seeing the whole picture here.

-Don't patronize me Carina, don't talk to me as if you were talking to a child. - The words came out through her teeth and now I wondered if the red on her face was due to her anger. Swallowing hard, Maya sat up in front of me, crossing her arms and holding them tightly against her chest. - If you don't want to move in with me, all you have to do is say so, don't go round and round trying to make things easier for me, I can handle whatever your decision is, but I really thought we were on the same page here.

-We... Ugh... - The frustration was so overwhelming that the words were lost in my head, and I couldn't organize them well enough to get them out. - We are! I mean, I want to move in with you Maya, more than anything, I want us to build things together and I want our relationship to keep evolving, but I'm not the easiest person to live with, I'm messy and I hoard, I like bright and colorful things, and I like buying more bedding than I need because I want my room to look different every other day, I don't like it when people butt into my kitchen, I have long showers and usually use all the hot water, I don't wake up early, I have too many clothes in my closet. ..

-None of this is diminishing my desire to have you move in with me, Carina. - Maya rolled her eyes and gave me the smallest of smiles, her arms uncrossed, and her stiffened posture now seemed slightly more relaxed as her hands rested on her thighs. - You also sleep in the middle of the bed, you usually kick me once or twice during the night, you snore if you're sleeping on your back, you forget the milk out of the fridge sometimes and if you're eating and the phone rings you get up and pace around while talking, which is sometimes quite annoying. I know your faults, I know your quirks, I know the things that annoy you, I know you, Carina.

-Then you also know that you are not like that, in most of these things you are the complete opposite, and you are very protective of your personal space and of your things, you like everything your way, organized, within a routine that has been yours for years, and you usually get upset and anxious when things get out of your control. - I looked away from her face because I hated having to point out our differences when all I wanted was to surrender to excitement and just let go of anything that might keep us from moving in together. I wanted Maya, I wanted to sleep and wake up next to her, I wanted to share my closet with her and smile at the contrast of our styles, I even wanted the annoying sound of the blender every morning while she made her disgusting smoothie. I wanted it all, and it was hard to argue against my own desire to move in with Maya just for the sake of good communication and to get everything out in the open before making an important decision like this one. - Are you ready for all these changes?

-Yes, I am. Carina, look at me, please. - Her voice sounded quieter and softer, the bed moved, and I lifted my eyes in time to see her sliding closer to me. - I thought about it and I would be lying to you if I told you that I am one hundred percent sure that I will adapt perfectly and without major issues to the fact that we will be moving in together, maybe I will freak out once or twice, maybe I will be anxious about my space being affected by the presence of your things, but it is all worth it if it means that I will have you with me whenever possible, that I will be able to sleep with you every night, that I will be able to come home and not feel sad because I know that you will be there or come back to me at some point. To me, to our home, to what we are building together.

-Maya... - Her name came out in a whine, a warning mixed with the purest evidence that she was melting my heart. Maya smiled at me, her hands came to mine, and soon our fingers were intertwined. - Are you sure?

-I'm sure, Carina, I'm sure because just the way you say my name makes my heart beat so fast it's almost ridiculous. - The squeeze of her hands grew tighter, and her eyes showed me certainty and confidence, a warm feeling spread through my chest and my muscles seemed to begin to relax; her words comforted me, made me even more sure that we were on the right track. - I want this, I am willing to live with, to accept and love each of your flaws if you are willing to do the same with mine. I know that I'm also not the easiest person to live with, but I love you Carina, and I will always try my best to make you happy. Is that enough?

Once more, adrenaline coursed through my veins, my heart started pounding in my chest again, and the tears that were now pooling in my eyes were ones of excitement and relief. I tilted my face and kissed Maya's lips feeling a tear run down my cheek as I closed my eyes.

-It's more than enough. - The words came out of my throat whispered and choked up, but it didn't matter. What mattered was the big smile that appeared on my girlfriend's lips when the words left my mouth, what mattered was the way she looked at me, with such love and affection, making my thoughts clearer and my insecurities increasingly oblivious. I leaned my face forward again to brush our noses together and Maya let out a low chuckle that made me smile and put the tears aside. - I want you to know that I believe you, I believe that you're making a smart and safe decision, that you're not a complete mess on the inside and doing this impulsively, I just needed to get all my fears out in the open because I'd hate to leave you in the dark about them.

-I know, and that only makes me love you a little bit more. - Maya smiled sweetly at me and I no longer remembered all the anguish.

-Oh, just a little bit? - I asked back, squinting my eyes in clear tease, and the smile on my girlfriend's lips widened.

-Yes, just a little bit. - Maya kissed my lips for a few seconds and then pulled away again. – So, is that a "yes"?

-Yes, Maya Bishop, we're moving in together! - Speaking those words out loud made it all so incredibly real, and Maya's big smile, her sparkling eyes, and the way she threw herself on top of me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and causing me to fall backwards with the impact of her body crashing into mine was a much better reaction than I could have imagined in any of my dreams.

-Yes? - She asked again, her face inches from mine, she was laughing with me and looking so happy that my heart felt like it could burst in my chest. I knew at that moment that I would live and breathe to forever put a smile like that on Maya's lips.

-Sì, vita mia. - I spoke between giggles and Maya buried her head in the curve of my neck giving several quick kisses in the area while somehow managing to tighten her embrace even though her arms were pinned against both my back and the mattress. Maya distributed kisses all over my face next, quick, loud kisses that made my eyes close in response to my loud laughter. I wrapped my own arms around her back, keeping her body still on top of mine, and hugged her tightly in return. - We're doing this!

-We're doing this! - She whispered against my skin as she pulled back from one of her kisses on my cheek and I was the happiest woman in the world at that moment.

-Carina, baby! - I arched my eyebrows at my girlfriend's voice behind me and stopped my steps, as did Jo Wilson, the newest OBGYN resident, to whom I was introducing the floor at that moment. When I turned around, Maya was coming toward me with a sweet smile on her lips and two cups of coffee in her hands. - Hi!

-Hi! - I said back and glanced over to see Jo smiling shyly as she looked at my girlfriend who was approaching the two of us. - What are you doing here?

-It's research day, isn't it? So, I thought I would come here and have some coffee with you! - Maya held out one of the coffee cups in my direction and I took it. - Hi, you're new!

-Oh, yes, Maya this is Jo Wilson, she's a new resident. - I pointed with my free hand to the woman next to me. - Jo, this is my girlfriend, Captain Maya Bishop from Station 19.

-Hi, nice to meet you! - Jo held out one hand toward Maya and the blonde took it in a firm grip.

-Nice to meet you, too. - Maya smiled and I sipped from the steaming cup of coffee, closing my eyes in delight at the drink's strong, delicious taste. - So, has Carina been a good teacher so far?

-I've only heard good things about Dr. DeLuca before I met her and she's as nice as I've been told, maybe a little nicer. - The resident spoke next to me; I smiled sideways at her words and then took another sip from my coffee.

-This coffee is actually delicious but trying to bribe me is not going to convince me that your apartment is a better option than my place. - I said, squinting my eyes at my girlfriend.

-I don't know what you're talking about. - My girlfriend rolled her eyes and drank from her coffee. - Are you busy?

-I'm just showing Jo the floor, but we're almost done, why don't you wait for me in my office? - I suggested and Maya nodded a few times drinking more of her coffee.

-Bye Jo, nice to meet you. - Maya said.

-You too, Captain Bishop. - Jo replied and Maya turned around, walking away from us. - It was so nice of your girlfriend to bring you coffee in the middle of the day.

-Oh, make no mistake, Maya can be cunning when she wants to be. We're in the middle of a standoff right now, and this right here. - I said, raising the cup in my hand. - This is her trying to soften my heart and convince me that I should move into her apartment and not the other way around.

Jo let out a low chuckle and we continued walking down the hallway as I showed her the offices and the delivery rooms, then proceeded to introduce her to the system we use on the tablets in the nursing station and asked her to check on the patients who were already admitted.

-I'm sorry, did I take too long? - I asked as I entered my office, quickly turning to close the door behind me before turning toward my girlfriend.

-Not long. - She answered, sitting down in my chair, spinning from side to side and placing her cell phone on my desk to finally face me and give me a smile.

-Very comfortable, aren't we? - I chuckled and got a grin from Maya in response.

-Come here. - She slid the chair back, turned it sideways, and spread her legs before tapping her hand a few times against one of her thighs. I rolled my eyes, but secretly I just love it when Maya does that, so I quickly walked over to the middle of her legs and sat on her lap. - Can I get a proper greeting now?

-And what would that be? - I asked back, playing dumb and wrapping my arms around her neck.

-Let me show you. - Maya whispered provocatively, making me laugh, but soon my lips were closing around hers in a delicate kiss. I tried to pull away, but Maya's hand squeezing my thigh indicated that she was not at all ready to end the kiss, and I was more than happy to continue making out with my girlfriend for a while longer.

The tip of her tongue slid across my lower lip, and I was soon leaning more toward Maya to let her deepen the kiss; a shy moan escaped my throat at the intimate contact of our tongues and the rubbing of her hand against my thigh only made the kiss even more sensual.

-So that's your plan? - I asked breathlessly as I tilted my head back, giving her more room to distribute her kisses over my neck when air was needed. - Distract me with your wonderful kisses until I agree with you?

-Is that such a bad idea? - She murmured the question with her lips still pressed against the skin of my neck.

-Yes. -The answer came out more whispery and simplistic than I had intended, but I couldn't focus on giving her a proper answer when her mouth was sending shivers through my skin and making the middle of my legs feel so warm.

-Fireplace. - Maya murmured the word against my skin and I creased my forehead and leaned back so I could see her face.

-What? - I asked her in confusion.

-My apartment has a fireplace, and you're always cold. - She shrugged and I rolled my eyes. - What? That's a valid point!

-Well, I have a basement, which is great for when you want to lift weights at home. - I arched one of my eyebrows in her direction and Maya squinted. - And a backyard where we can sit and have a picnic if we want.

-I can live without that. - The firefighter rolled her eyes and I sighed.

-We're walking in circles. - The frustration was more than evident in my voice, and that was really how I felt because for the last four days that was all Maya and I had been doing, pointing out to each other the advantages of each of our places, and neither of us wanted to give in. I got up from Maya's lap and walked away from her, running my fingers through my hair as I grunted, trying to get some of my irritation out. - You don't want to give up your space, that's what I was talking about.

-Carina. - Maya scolded me and I turned to her quickly.

-Are you going to tell me that's not it? - I squinted my eyes again, pointed a finger in her direction, and Maya pressed her lips together trying to hold back a giggle. - Is this funny to you?

-You're just so cute when you're angry! - The blonde walked over to me and stroked my arms, running her hands up and down my biceps before closing her fingers around them. - You don't want to give up your space either, if it wasn't important to you, you wouldn't be trying to convince me to move in with you.

-I simply think that my home has many more benefits than your apartment. We're talking about a house, for God's sake! - I rolled my eyes and Maya giggled again. - How can you be laughing?

-I don't know... It's just the good kind of argument. And I never thought that one day someone would want me enough to have this kind of fight with me, it kind of feels like a dream to be in a relationship where I'm about to move in with someone. - I loved hearing Maya feel comfortable being vulnerable with me, it just showed me how much she had changed since I first met her; her words eased some of the anxiety inside me and gave me some reassurance that regardless of this setback, we were serious about moving in together.

-You said that you are moving in with someone, and that someone is me, so you are coming to my house! Yes! - I raised both my arms in a sign of victory and Maya laughed and rolled her eyes at me.

-You know that's not what I meant.

-Too late! You're coming to live with me. - I wrapped my arms around her neck and pressed my body against hers once more before kissing her. I felt her hands slide around my waist, holding me close, and I sighed into our kiss, imagining being able to do this every day, every night, every morning.

-Rock, paper, scissors. - Maya murmured against my lips.

-I can't believe you're thinking about a silly game while you're kissing me, Maya! - I complained as I pulled away from her face and watched as my girlfriend blushed harder in embarrassment.

-No, I mean rock, paper, scissors as a fair way to decide who will move in with whom. - I widened my eyes at her statement for a few seconds.

-Maya!

-What?

-We're not going to decide this over rock, paper, scissors!  - My voice had risen an octave with my exasperation, and I broke free of her grip so that I could pull away and cross my arms against my chest.

-A coin toss?

-Dio mio, bambina, è una cosa seria, è una decisione seria! - My God, baby, this is serious, it's a serious decision! - I argued, and the anxiety and frustration bubbled up inside my chest again.

-I know, but I don't think either of us will end up giving in, so I'm thinking of possibilities, something that might help with our decision. I'm sorry, I'm taking this seriously, I really am, I promise. - Maya looked away from me and glanced down at her own feet.

-I... - I started to speak but was interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. I grunted as I realized that I was being called to the emergency room. - I have to go, but we'll talk about this later.

-Okay. - That was all she said.

-Are you coming to my house tonight? - I asked, walking backwards toward the door, hating that Maya now looked upset because of my words.

-Yes, I'll see you later. - She answered, finally looking back at me.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

Maya was right and her words kept popping up in my head during the whole afternoon that day. I didn't want to give up my space either. I loved the way everything I owned already belonged in the space I lived in, how my plants were already perfectly positioned to receive the morning sun, how my clothes were organized in my closet, how my kitchen was perfect for me to cook any meal.

Now, cooking dinner, I thought about how frustrating and stressful it would be for me to pack up my things, get rid of half of them, and move in with Maya, but I also understood her point of view and she would have to go through the same stress coming to live with me - maybe even more than me because even though Maya had convinced me that she was ready to take this step in our relationship I knew about all her control issues and how challenging this phase would be.

So, I should just pack up my things and move into Maya's place because it would be easier for me than it would be for her? That didn't sound right.

I just hated that all my happiness about moving in together with Maya was being overshadowed by the anxiety and the need to make a decision that neither of us wanted to make.

Three knocks against the door brought me back to reality.

-It's open! - I shouted from the kitchen and the door opened a second later. - I'm in the kitchen.

-Hey, beautiful! - Maya spoke up behind me and I turned my neck to look over my shoulder and give my girlfriend a broad smile. I arched my eyebrows when I saw the bouquet of roses in her hand. - They're for you.

-No blueberry jam today? - I turned the fire down to make sure nothing would burn, and then wrapped my arms around Maya's neck, who was quick to open her arms and stop me from crushing the flowers with my quick movement.

-I found a flower shop open. - She answered, laughing softly as well as me, and I kissed her cheek a few times before pulling away and picking up the flowers.

-They're beautiful, thank you bambina. - Maya stood on her tiptoes for a brief second to kiss my lips and I smiled at the gesture. It was amazing how I spent most of my time with Maya smiling, she would simply make me forget about my anguish and put aside the fatigue after a long day at work. - Stir the pot, I'll put the flowers in a vase.

Throughout dinner I would look at Maya and keep thinking about how I wanted to move forward a few weeks into the future so that we could already be living together. I wanted to fast forward through this phase of deadlock and indecision and just be able to come home - to our home - and be able to sleep cuddled up in bed with my girlfriend, feeling her hands going up and down my belly and her warm breath against the back of my neck.

-What's on your mind? - Maya asked with her cell phone in her hands, a wrinkle between her eyebrows as she read something work-related. In front of the mirror, I braided my hair as I got ready for bed and tried not to smile at Maya's shocked face as she read some part of the report.

-I'm just tired. - I sighed heavily as I turned around and walked towards the bed, sitting down with my back to my girlfriend and picking up the bottle of moisturizer on the bedside table. - Maya?

-Yes? - She said back, I looked over my shoulder and realized that her eyes were still glued to her phone screen. When I didn't continue, my girlfriend finally raised her gaze in my direction. - Sorry, what?

-I didn't mean to imply that you weren't serious about the two of us moving in together earlier, I'm sorry. - I gave a small apologetic smile and Maya put her phone on the bedside table beside her before crawling up next to me in bed and kissing my cheek.

-It's okay, I just hate that we're both stubborn and neither of us wants to give in. - Another kiss was given, this time on the curve of my neck. - But I've been thinking...

-Another game? - I teased her, rubbing the moisturizer on my legs.

-No, Carina. - She answered, and I didn't need to be looking at her face to know that she was rolling her eyes at me. - I was thinking that since neither of us wants to give in, maybe we both should?

-What do you mean? - I creased my forehead, put some more lotion on my hands, rubbed them together, and turned sideways so that I was partially facing Maya as I rubbed the product over my arms.

-Why don't we look for a new place? A place of our own, not my apartment, not your house. Somewhere that is the best of both worlds, close to the station and the hospital, with a yard and a fireplace, a big kitchen for you, and maybe some space for me to exercise. - I raised my eyebrows in surprise as a big smile spread across my face and, at that moment, I wondered why we simply hadn't come to this conclusion before.

-Have I ever told you that you always have the best ideas? - I tilted my face and captured her lips, my teeth scraping against her bottom lip before sucking it into my mouth.

-No, but you can tell me now. - Maya spoke as I pulled away and smiled openly at my girlfriend one more time before getting on my knees in front of her and pushing her shoulders back until she was lying on the bed allowing me to slide one of my legs across her body and straddle her hips.

-You always have the best ideas, Maya Bishop. - I spoke in a low, husky voice as I watched Maya moisten her lips, her hands coming straight up to my thighs, her fingers running up and down the length of my pants, and though I wished more than anything that I could feel her skin against mine, the indirect contact was an exciting tease. - A house, please.

-With a bathtub. - She added and waggled her eyebrows, making me laugh.

-A bathtub, huh? - I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss, teasing her, pulling my face away from hers when Maya lifted her head to capture my lips. - Is there a reason for this?

-Oh, I can think of a reason or two. - She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist before turning us on the bed, making me laugh with the impact of my body against the mattress, before kissing my lips and silencing my laughter.

-I think you two are going to love this one. - Mr. Jones, a short, bald man dressed in a gray suit that seemed too big for his body, spoke as we walked to the entrance of the fourth house that we’d be visiting this week.

-I'm starting to get tired of house hunting! - Maya murmured beside me, her hands firmly tucked inside her jacket’s pockets as she frowned, and even though I knew Maya was starting to get discouraged about finding the perfect house I kept trying to focus on all my excitement so that I could convey some of my positive feelings to her.

-Well, I was more than happy with the last one we saw. - I said, putting my arm around my girlfriend's shoulders and pulling her body into mine as I followed the realtor down the cobblestone path that led to the front door.

-We’d have to change all the plumbing in that house Carina, didn't you see how humid the walls were? - She complained again, and I knew she had a point, but it was the closest to an ideal house we had found.

-I'm getting a good feeling about this house, let's just try to keep an open mind, okay? - I squeezed her shoulder with the hand that rested on it and Maya sighed heavily before nodding a few times and giving me a small smile.

-You can see we have a porch, so you can easily put some benches there to relax later in the evening. - Mr. Jones brought us back to reality and I finally got a closer look at the house.

The entrance was white and blue, you could see that the house had been recently painted, there was a basement and two floors - we knew this from the advertisement Mr. Jones had shown us yesterday - and it promised us two large bedrooms inside. Looking at it from the outside it definitely looked spacious. The lawn in the front yard was neatly trimmed and well kept, and I couldn't help but imagine toys scattered on the grass while Maya ran after a toothless baby who was just learning to walk - my heart pounded faster in my chest at the mere thought.

-Carina, are you with us? - Maya wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me close.

-Yes, of course, let's go inside. - I kissed Maya's forehead and then we followed Mr. Jones inside.

Mr. Jones was very patient, showed us every detail of the living room and kitchen, gave us many ideas of what we could do with the place, and gave us some time to talk about the rooms while he was on the phone with some other client.

-The kitchen is big, what do you think? - Maya asked looking under the cabinet attached to the kitchen sink counter to make sure there were no leaks.

-Are you kidding me? It has the marble center island just like I wanted and look at all this counter space! - I said excitedly, trying to keep myself from giggling as I tiptoed to look inside some of the top cabinets. - I could put my pans in here, and maybe some more shelves on that wall for my seasonings, and also the gas stove could be over there.

-Gas stove? - Maya asked, leaning back and turning her head quickly in my direction while keeping her eyebrows knitted together in a clear sign of disapproval. - You're definitely not saying that to me, are you? I mean, this is the worst combination ever, Carina, I have literally attended dozens of house-fire incidents that started with gas stoves, you can't be serious.

-Maya, we'll be careful! - I tried to insist, but Maya kept shaking her head in disbelief as I spoke.

-It's not negotiable. Induction stove, end of discussion. - Maya closed the cabinet doors and spun toward me before standing up and patting her hands against her knees to wipe off any dust residue that might have been on her clothes. And seeing the determined look on my girlfriend's face I simply knew there was no sense in insisting on fighting with a firefighter when the issue was something dangerous and fire related. - What about the living room? It has the fireplace we talked about, and I like that it’s a wood burning fireplace and not a gas one, much safer.

-I can see that you're already doing the home inspection, Captain Bishop! - I teased her, but I couldn't contain the smile on my face.

-Safety first. - She said and then walked over to one of the kitchen windows that faced the backyard. - Wow, Carina! The backyard is huge, come see it!

I hurried and took excited steps toward her, loving that Maya was beginning to love the house as much as I did; this was what I wanted, for her to begin to see beyond the technicalities and the things that made that house a safe house, I wanted her to begin to imagine our life there, together, and by the dreamy look on her face at that moment I could see that she was beginning to fall in love with that house.

I pressed my front against her back before nuzzling my chin into the curve of her neck and hugging her waist, pulling her body to me and making a point of squeezing her torso while kissing the spot just below her ear.

-It really is big. - I agreed, my voice was low, but the excitement could be heard in my words. The yard was large and spacious, the grass trimmed and the big tree creating a nice shade in one corner made me dream of spending late afternoons together with Maya, sitting outside, drinking a glass of wine and talking about our days.

-Can we have a swing outside? In the backyard or on the porch, whatever... I just want to be able to hold you and keep you warm while we get some fresh air. - Maya put her hands on mine as she spoke and I bit my lip hard trying to focus on that pain and not on the urge to cry that came over me at her sweet words.

-Sì, we can have a swing. - I whispered back and stuck my nose between strands of her hair before kissing her head a few times.

-And a TV on top of the fireplace? - Maya turned sideways with a smile on her lips and quite excited about the idea.

-Whatever you want, bambina. - I agreed, nodding a few times.

-As long as you have your kitchen with marble countertops? - Maya joked back and I laughed and nodded a few times. - That's what I thought.

-I think you'll like the marble countertops when I'm putting you on top of them so I can fuck you hard with a strap-on. - I whispered the risky words against her ear, and as if to prove my point, I unclasped one of my hands from hers and brought it up to one of her breasts before covering it and squeezing it provocatively.

-Carina! - Maya scolded me immediately, her hand going quickly to my wrist to pull my hand away from her breast.

-Did you enjoy the view? - Mr. Jones spoke up behind us and Maya jumped, still trapped inside my arms, before wriggling out of them and clearing her throat a few times trying to maintain her composure, but the way her face was red made her embarrassment very obvious.

-It's a beautiful view, we love the backyard, Carina loved the kitchen. - Maya spoke hurriedly, but the words came out a little stuttered and I laughed softly, earning a menacing look from my girlfriend.

-Ready to see the bedrooms? - Mr. Jones pointed with his thumb to the stairs behind him, and we nodded quickly. - I think this will be the house for you two, it's a little above what you ideally would be willing to pay, but I don't think you will be able to resist the charms of this house, especially the master bedroom.

-I'm already loving this house. - I excitedly clapped my hands together a few times and Maya tried to hold back her laughter beside me but ended up snorting and I rolled my eyes at my girlfriend before bumping my shoulder against hers in a teasing manner. - Let's go!

Mr. Jones led the way, we passed through the living room and Maya made a few more comments about how nice the armchairs in her apartment would look in there, she even mentioned that we might have some pictures of us over the fireplace - and I had already noticed the pictures of her with her friends in her apartment, so hearing her refer to pictures of the two of us, over our possible future fireplace, in our possible future home was making me much more excited than I would like to admit.

-This is the master bedroom! It's big enough for a king size bed like you wanted, the closet is not as big as the one in the second house we looked at, and we don't have the same amount of windows, but...

-Only two windows? - Maya grumbled, looking around the room.

It really wasn't the brightest room we had seen, but it was spacious, and we could certainly bring most of our furniture to furnish it without any trouble.

-I know, I know, but give this house a chance. You're going to fall in love with it right now, come see the bathroom. - Mr. Jones pointed to the door on the right side of the room.

-Well, I don't know... I'm a morning person, I like to wake up to a sunny room, I'm not sure... - Maya spoke as we walked to the bathroom, but her words died in her throat when she came across the triangular whirlpool tub that was in the far corner of the bathroom.

-Bambina... - I started to speak trying to contain some of my excitement.

-Well, fuck the windows, what is that! - Maya practically screamed and ran into the bathroom going straight to the tub, leaning over the edge to take a closer look inside. - Why didn't you lead with that Mr. Jones! Carina, look at this!

-I didn't mean to be biased, this bathroom has just been renovated and when I saw what the old owners did with the place, I immediately thought of you two. - Mr. Jones smiled at my girlfriend while she was still trying to capture all the details of the tub.

-Well, I love this house a little more now! - Maya spoke up and jumped into the tub, standing on the inside before sitting down in it. - Carina, come here!

-Maya... - I tried to reason.

-No, go ahead, imagining yourself in the house is part of the process of falling in love with it. I'll give you two a few minutes of privacy. - Mr. Jones said. - Oh, and before I forget to do my job, you also got the double countertop with the double vanities you wanted and the separate walk-in shower, that's why this house turned out to be more expensive than the others, this bathroom here is every couple's dream.

-I agree! - Maya put both arms on the edge of the tub in a relaxed position keeping a teasing smile on her lips as I approached the tub and looked over my shoulder to make sure that Mr. Jones was no longer inside the bathroom before slipping my legs over the edge of the tub and straddling Maya's thighs. - Oh, hi!

-Hi. - I smiled at my girlfriend and ran my hands down her face, tucking strands of her hair behind both ears before placing a quick kiss on her lips. - Do you know what I was thinking?

-What? - Maya asked with her eyes still closed as I pulled away from our kiss; I drew back closer, and this time captured her bottom lip between mine and flicked it with the tip of my tongue as I rolled my hips against the front of her pants in a purely provocative gesture and, in response, I felt one of her hands go directly to my ass.

-You, completely naked in this tub, all sexy and soapy, waiting for me to come home from work. - I whispered the words as I brushed our noses together and brought my lips closer to hers, pulling away from her mouth every time Maya tried to initiate a kiss as an obvious tease.

- I would just take off my clothes, run my hands all over your body feeling all those delicious muscles of yours under the palms of my hands before flipping you over and bending you over the edge of the tub so that I could touch that big, beautiful, glorious ass of yours before I started fucking you from behind.

-Fuck, baby... - Maya moaned softly, her breath heavy against my face as she still tried to initiate a kiss, but I continued to evade her advances. Her hand closed against my ass, I rotated my hips to tease her some more, and Maya grunted in response.

-But right now, we need to talk about how amazing this bathroom is! - I said, sitting down on her legs and no longer hovering so much over her body.

-Carina! - Maya complained, opening her eyes quickly and moving the hand that was on my ass to my waist before pulling me forward again causing my body to crash against hers and I let out a giggle before finally giving in to her advances. Maya's mouth was deliciously slow on mine, her lips massaging mine in an intense yet delicate rhythm that drew sighs from my lungs; her soft, sweet tongue making my head spin as I completely surrendered to that kiss. - Okay, we can talk about the bathroom now.

-Isn't it perfect? - I asked after swallowing hard, trying to catch my breath. - And it matches the white marble in the kitchen.

-You really like that kitchen, don't you?

-Isn't it perfect? - Maya laughed when I repeated her words and nodded a few times. - And look, I can sit in the tub and watch you take a shower.

-Oh, I like the way you think.

-And tell you to touch yourself for me while I watch you. - I finished by rubbing my nose against her cheek as Maya kept her grip tight against my waist, keeping me close to her.

-Carina! - Maya scolded me and I laughed softly when her face turned even redder.

-You don't like the way I think anymore? - I teased, kissing her lips quickly.

-You know I do, but now we need to have a serious conversation because we've spent more time than is appropriate in this bathroom and Mr. Jones must think we're having sex. - Maya rolled her eyes and I moved away from her body, remaining seated on her thighs.

-Okay, so, how do you like this house? - I asked, both my hands now on Maya's shoulders as I looked into her eyes and saw a mixture of emotions cross the blue, but finally Maya nibbled her lower lip and squinted.

-We still need to see the other rooms, but... - A sigh was given by my girlfriend. - I'm tending to...

-Yes? - I arched my eyebrows expectantly.

-Inclined... - Maya continued.

-Okay...? - I let out a chuckle.

-To like this house. - Maya finally completed with a discreet smile on her lips.

-Me too. - I smiled back at the firefighter. - But you're right, we have to finish seeing the other rooms.

I stood up from the tub and reached out my hand to help Maya get up as well.

-Walk-in shower, corner whirlpool tub, and a double vanity? This bathroom came straight from our dreams, Carina. - Maya spoke as we walked out of the bathroom.

-So, a bathroom coming straight from our dreams makes a poorly lit room worthwhile? - I asked as we walked across the room toward the door.

-Definitely. - The blonde nodded a few times. - Mr. Jones?

-Here, in the guest room. - He spoke, and we followed the sound of his voice.

It was spacious like all the other rooms in the house, and also only had two windows, but Maya didn't care much about that since she kept mentioning the bathroom in our possible future bedroom, and the way her eyes sparkled, and her voice rose an octave in excitement just made me smile and feel my chest warm up.

She wanted this.

She wanted this as much as I did.

-Good, we both have guest bedrooms so it will be easy to furnish this room. - I commented as Maya talked about the possible colors of wallpaper we could use in there and Mr. Jones stood by nodding and agreeing with my girlfriend's words.

Maya turned toward me upon hearing my words with a slight crease in her forehead and a look of confusion briefly crossed her face before she shook her head as if scaring the thoughts away; her gesture caused me to crease my own forehead in confusion.

-This definitely makes your life easier. - Mr. Jones nodded. - I know how couples like to talk about details alone and away from realtors' ears, so I'll meet you downstairs?

-Yes, we'll be down in a second. - I agreed, smiling politely at the man as he walked past me. - So, what do you think?

-It's a good guest bedroom. - Maya shrugged briefly, no smile on her lips, and turned to walk to one of the windows.

-So why do you seem to dislike this room? - I asked back as I approached Maya's back; carefully placing both of my hands on her shoulders before running my palms down her arms and gently holding her hands together to intertwine our fingers.

-It's nothing. I liked it. - Maya answered still looking out the window, but her voice was low and reserved, as it always was when she was trying to change the subject and didn't want to put too much emphasis on her thoughts or feelings.

-Maya... - I whimpered her name, it was a habit that now seemed old, my own way of asking her to be honest or to expose her thoughts, and my girlfriend sighed heavily before turning in my direction. For a second, our fingers were no longer intertwined, and Maya took advantage of the separation of our bodies to cross her arms against her chest and look down at her own feet avoiding my gaze.

-It's just that... Well, I thought you were going to comment on something other than how easy it would be to furnish this room. - Maya spoke, still looking at her feet, and I creased my forehead for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last few minutes.

-Bambina, I'm not sure I'm following your train of thought. - I confessed, reaching out and stroking the hand that rested on her arm as she kept them firmly clasped to her chest.

-I mean, I know it's not something we're going to talk about now, or in the near future because I know you want more out of your career, and I want more out of my career and I think I'm finally confident enough to start thinking about applying for the Battalion Chief position, which will consume a lot of my time, I know, but at the same time will give me some stability in the future... - Maya rambled on quickly and I arched my eyebrows as I tried to keep up with the speed at which information was being thrown at me, she seemed nervous, her fingers drumming against her own arm under my touch so all I could do was wait and listen. - But I thought that, I don't know, maybe, you were going to mention something about putting something different here?

-As in...? - I wasn't sure if I was following her thought so I just waited for her to be clearer, Maya finally glued her eyes over mine before speaking.

-A crib? - I widened my eyes immediately after her answer and my lips parted in surprise as my heart began to beat faster in my chest and the saliva disappeared from my throat. - Like I said, I know it's not something to think about now, but in the future? I don't know why I'm mentioning this, this is stupid.

-Yes. - I spoke as I was bombarded with millions of thoughts and feelings at once and now the vision of Maya running after a toothless baby who was just learning to walk in the front yard of that house began to grow clearer and my chest grew warmer.

It was hard to believe everything I was experiencing that day. It was hard to believe all the progress Maya had made since I met her years ago, when she still believed that relationships were too complicated for her to handle and that she should always keep people out of her heart and her feelings locked away as deep inside herself as she could manage. The Maya I saw now had asked me to move in with her, had fallen in love with a house, imagined our future together and was nervous about me not living up to her expectations of having a child with me in the future and this new Maya, this constantly changing Maya, was the woman I kept falling in love with every day and she was showing me that love was truly the most important and most powerful emotion.

-Yes? - It was Maya's turn to widen her eyes, a smile beginning to appear on her lips. I licked my lips and swallowed dryly to try to moisten my throat as I organized my thoughts.

-Yes. Not now, as you said we still have so much to talk about and so many things to live through together before we think about having a baby, but yes Maya, someday I would like to put a crib in this room. - I smiled openly at my girlfriend and hugged her shoulders as she uncrossed her arms and wrapped her arms around my waist.

-So, you're saying that you're having my baby? - She asked against the curve of my neck, and I just laughed because it was the only way I could externalize some of the inexplicable and indescribable happiness that was taking over me at that moment.

-Not yet, but someday, yes.

-It doesn't matter! - Maya squeezed my waist tighter and leaned back until she was carrying me in a bear-hug, and I laughed louder in response to her gesture. - One day you'll have my baby in your belly.

-Or maybe you'll have my baby in your belly? - The question escaped my lips before I could think twice about it; Maya put me down again and when she pulled her body away from mine, I could see that she kept her eyebrows arched in surprise.

-Or that, yes... I... I never thought about it. - Her answer came out a little stuttered.

-We have time. - I tilted my face and brushed my nose against hers before placing a quick kiss on her lips. - So, what do we think of the house?

-With that bathroom? That's a yes for me.

-It's a yes for me too. - I agreed, smiling openly at my girlfriend and placed another kiss on her lips, this time slower and more passionate.

-So, we're doing this? - Maya whispered the question with our foreheads still pressed together when the kiss was over.

-We're doing this.