Chapter 1 - Home Sweet Depressing Home

 He took a deep breath, the rumble of the train running through his body as he leaned against the window of the cabin, listening to the blissful sound of silence. He took another deep breath. He had been feeling a dull ache in his chest for a few years now, so often that he barely noticed it until it gave a detectable twinge. As he opened his eyes, studying the empty car, it gave another twinge, and he allowed himself to wince, to show this pain. He continued the slow, deep breaths for merlin knows how long. That's what settled the ache. Focusing on anything but the tremors in his body. He flexed his fingers, looking down at them. 

 His skin had always been pale, paler than a normal person, but to him, it had never been out of the ordinary. His mother with her pale but pinkish skin. His father with his pearly white complexion. He had never felt out of the ordinary or strange being so pale, even if he had never shown any sign of color in his face or body. He stretched out his fingers again, staring down at them. Clean, sanitized, his rings very masculine. All silver, or diamond, all real. Only the best, his father always told him. Always the best, always untouchable, emotionless. He sighed and looked out the window again.

 The window was so pristine and clean that he could see his reflection. His image had degraded over the past year, shadows that seemed to be permanent forming under his eyes, eyes always seeming heavy. His cheeks weren't as full as they had been in his sixth year, but only two people had noticed. His mother, of course, and his best friend. He verbally sighed, raising his fingers to feel his face, looking at his reflection. His skin was slightly dry, and he had even come down with his first case of acne, which he had hidden under his hair that he had swept to one side. White-blonde hair just above his left eyebrow that seemed invisible. He hadn't been getting more than three hours of sleep max each night for months, so he was going to try and catch up at school. However, he worried that his demons would just increase in the place where one of his best friends had been killed in front of his eyes.

 Over the summer, he had also come to realize just how wrong he had been through the years. He had always put Lucius on a pedestal, to be like him in every way possible, but now, Draco wished he had killed that man on the many occasions when he could have. He realized he was on the wrong side and had been the entire time. His blood was no cleaner, or dirtier than a half-blood or muggle-born wizard or witch. Hell, if he compared his blood to Hermione Granger's, he would see no difference. He despised his father for that. For raising him like that. He looked down at his wrist, at his veins, with his horrid blood running through it. His? His blood was the dirtiest of them all, but nobody would know that. Nobody would care, but Draco's blood was plagued with the blood of every person who died at Malfoy Manor. Every person who died in his child-hood home, at the hands of his family.

 He closed his eyes, not wanting to watch his reflection anymore, and laid his head back against the seat, letting out a sigh. The twinges had been growing worse for the past month, but he had noticed them grow stronger after his birthday on June 18. Such a big year for those muggles, yet such a depressing number for him. His friend would never reach 18. She would forever be stuck at 17.

 His eyes opened when he heard the cabin door opening.

 An Italian boy walked in, followed by a Caucasian. The two boys sat down opposite him, arms stuffed full of candies and pastries.

 He studied the Italian, who was grinning, mouth stuffed full of peppermint humbugs. The boy wasn't extremely tall, maybe a few inches shorter than himself, but he was just as lanky. The other boy was tall, the same height as him, but he had a good amount of meat on his bones. The girls loved him for his muscle.

 The Italian spoke, having swallowed his mouthful, "So, Draco, you want anything?"

 Draco ignored him, looking back out the window in silence. Something all his friends and family knew. He had not spoken a word to a single person since the war. He didn't even speak to his mother before she was taken for a life sentence into Azkaban with his father, whom Draco wanted to have received the kiss and then burned at the stake. He was the reason Draco had a horrid life ruining mark on his arm. The reason his life has been ruined. 

 Draco looked back at the Italian and Caucasian, watching as they traded chocolate frog cards, acting like schoolboys. How could they? How could they betray her? As if ¼ of their quadrant wasn't killed in action? He sighed, and reached out, snatching a box of jellybeans from the Italian.

 "Ha, he just snatched them right out your lap Blaise. Going to do something?" The Caucasian asked, snickering but Blaise didn't smile.

 "No…He can have them. He deserves something nice; you know that Theo…" He mumbled, watching his friend closely. He noticed Draco's dramatic change in appearance and that he was getting worse, especially since his birthday. He had noticed him closing off more and more, but also noticed that Draco kept wincing and holding his chest, but one event during the summer, where Draco had just collapsed, holding his chest, and had proceeded to pass out on the floor. The blonde had lost all color in his skin, his body trembling, and Blaise had even seen tears on his face. That day had been his birthday, early June. It just so happened to coincide with the day that the Daily Prophet exploded with the news of Granger and Weasley's horrid breakup, after she busted him cheating with Astoria Greengrass. The girl Draco had been betrothed to, a forced and arranged marriage. Draco had gotten worse and worse, and then this event happened. That was the last time Draco had spent any time outside of his room all summer.

 The blonde abruptly stood, as he grabbed his bag, and pushed them out the room so he could change. He set the bag down, getting robes out, and he got undressed, pulling on his uniform. He had to control his breathing, as the last time he had worn this, he had been dragged into a battle. Draco fastened his tie, right up to his neck. Pristine. Proper. He stared at his reflection, until he mastered his past gaze of cold-hearted distaste, and his guarded eyes and body language. He took a deep breath, putting his wand into his robes, and then he fastened a special pin to his chest.

 He had received his invitation to come back to Hogwarts for his eighth year only two weeks before the start of the term, so he had been slightly rushed, having to send his house-elf into Diagon Alley to collect his school supplies and robes for this year. He had been surprised, however, when he tipped out a weight into his palm, to find the Head Boy pin in his letter. He had been shocked, and still didn't understand why he, out of anybody, had been chosen as a leader amongst his peers.

 The pin had the Hogwarts school emblem on it but lacked colors. The emblem was just a glittering forest green with silver markings, and the words HEAD BOY were in a bold line at an angle, across the center of the pin. His pin was fastened just above his house emblem on his robes. A circle was embroidered in a big patch, silver outlining and a darker grey background, where a forest green python sat. The snake had been enchanted to slither and move around the circle it had been provided with, silent hisses and rattles from its tail as it moved. It had the house name in bold letters on the bottom on a piece of fabric crafted to look like a ribbon, enchanted to flutter as if in wind. All students had the same, except for the animal and words. The Gryffindors had a golden yellow fabric circle with a deep gold, almost brown background, with a beautiful red lion, which pranced around, opening its mouth in silent bellows of power, with the house name in red lettering on a ribbon alike to the Slytherins. Hufflepuffs had a yellow embroidered circle, like Gryffindors, but instead, the inner yellow was a pale yellow like a new sunflower. The animal in the center was a black badger with white fur stripes, which rolled around as if in a field of daisies, which Draco had always found so amusing and fitting. The Ravenclaws sported a sunflower yellow circle, with a deep gold inside, a blue eagle with its wings spread wide sat in the center, as if in mid-flight. The wings would flap, and it would tilt side to side as if soaring on a breeze, its beak occasionally opening in silent squawks and caws of strength and wisdom.

 Draco fastened his school trunk, putting it back up into the celling compartment where it would be magically moved to his dorm room without him having to even bat an eye. He took a deep breath, making sure he looked stoic and cold, before opening the door and making his way down the hall, making sure his strides were even and radiated power, something he had perfected years ago. Step, breath in, step, breath out, step, breath in-

 He continued this pattern as he sauntered down the hall, able to focus on his steps, ignoring the now throbbing chest pain he had. Draco walked all the way through the train, as he had chosen a compartment at the back, so he had to go to the front to meet with someone he wished he would never have to speak with again.

 Draco ignored all the stares, the eyes lingering on his back. He was used to this, to the attention, the hatred, the attraction. It never bothered him, and still no longer influenced his posture, his bottled emotions, his steady stride.

 He reached forwards, grasping the cold, brass handle to the headmasters' compartment, taking another deep breath, and stuffing any thoughts and emotions under a blanket. He pushed the door open, closing it behind him. Draco continued the steady pace and as walked forwards and stopped in front of the make-shift desk that had been placed in the larger sized cabin. An older woman, whose eyes held the sight of one who had seen it all, smiled at him. Draco wasn't sure how to react, so he remained stock still, emotionless, yet polite.

 "Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Malfoy. I am sure it has taken a lot out of you to just board this train, much less stand here in front of me." She spoke, her voice so gentle and kind, reminding him of his own mother. He had longed for her voice for months. He continued to stare; mouth closed. The kind face, as she gestured for him to move forwards and sit down.

 The woman smiled at him more, "I have an informant who said you have not spoken, so I will not make you. I understand all people have their own ways of coping, and silence is a very heavy one. Although I am not your head of house, always know you can come to me for issues. In my eyes, young man, everybody deserves a second chance." Draco wasn't sure how to react, but he bowed his head in acknowledgment, and for the first time, he considered going to her office at some point...For a talk?

 Draco remained silent, and lifted his head, showing his eyes again, a brunette girl with molten chocolate eyes. She walked into the room, standing beside him, giving the woman a smile.

He then blinked. Had McGonagall said second chance? She believes in second chances. Is this why he had this majestic pin attached to his Slytherin robes? Is this why she just offered her personal time to him to try and help? Were this what forgiveness feels like?

"Hello professor McGonagall. It has been a while." She said in a kind voice, but Draco could sense the strain she was using to not freak out. Draco turned his head and looked back at the headmistress, but he knew she had seen him. He knew the strain was because of him. Or at least so he thought.

 Draco watched as McGonagall got up, walking around the desk, and towards her two heads. He studied her. The woman was quite short compared to his 6'5 height. She was stout and seemed to have shrunk over the summer. Or maybe it was he who grew? Draco continued to study her. She had on olden time-y clothes, what he would have expected to see his great grandmother to have worn to a funeral. Her hat was slightly crazy, with feathers that made it look like a bird's plumage, and beads and twigs sticking out like it was a bird's nest. 

 He watched as she handed both he and Granger two large scrolls, and he unrolled the top. His class schedule was laid out, and he smiled to see that he had a good deal of free time, along with the fact that he had no restrictions. Before, he had been told by the Wizengamot that if he set foot in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, all aurors in the surrounding area had permission to free fire, and his death would not be on their hands, but on his own, but his scroll clearly said he was allowed into Hogsmeade. He had a relieved smile on his face as he read his schedule. This would be a calm year, only having to take his core classes, and then Defense against the Dark Arts, which was needed for all returning 8th years.

 He looked up at McGonagall as the woman started talking to him and Granger, "Both of you will be occupying the newly recreated Heads Dormitory's, which live in the main hall, past The Great Hall and near the entrance to the school. Your belongings will all be transferred to these rooms, but nothing will be planted in either room, so you may decide which room you wish to live in. I wish that both of you will treat each other civil, and I ask that Ms. Granger will treat you with respect Mr. Malfoy, and the same for you towards her. We shall be arriving soon, so I ask that you return to your respective cabins, and we will meet once again at the end of dinner, and I will show you to your dorms."

 Draco looked sideways, and finally noticed Granger's appearance. She wasn't looking at him, her head hanging down, but he could still see her face. She had shadows to compete with his own under her eyes, her skin having lost its usual bounce, now stretched, and stressed. Her cheeks resembled his hollow ones, and her forehead had what seemed to be permanent stress lines. Her hair, which had been bushy and matted for so many years, seemed to have finally lost the frizz, now falling in massive curls down her back, framing her face quite nicely. He studied her posture and read her so easily. Closed-off, scared, scarred, broken. Maybe they did have something in common against the will of the world.

 He listened as she spoke, watching her eyes raise to his, "Well, I guess we must tolerate each other Malfoy. I will try to not start any fights, if you agree to not torment me…..." She turned back towards McGonagall, "Thank you Professor…."

 He watched the girl leave the compartment, but then turned back, looking at him, "Are you coming, Malfoy?" Draco stared at her for a good long moment until he realized she had spoken to him other than the need to promise to not argue with him.

 He looked at McGonagall, and bowed his head in thanks and goodbye, and then turned, nodding, following Granger out the compartment, trailing behind her. He didn't understand why she was speaking to him, or even acknowledging him. Draco knew he looked like hell on earth, so he just kept his head down as she led him down the hall. He had to stop abruptly not to run into her when she stopped at a cabin. He glanced inside and saw two other girls. One was a pale girl, with freckles marring her complexion, bright green eyes, and flaming, straight red hair falling down her back, held in a ponytail. She was wearing muggle clothes, some common jeans, and a jumper for the Holy-Head Harpies quidditch team, but without brooms on it so she would have gone unnoticed through the train station. The other girl had the same color hair as himself, intriguing him slightly, but her complexion was nowhere near as pale as his, quite full. She had no freckles, and her eyes were two different colors. A pale blue and a brown. She was wearing robes, so he could name her as a Ravenclaw student. After staring for a moment longer, he realized who this was. Loony 'Luna' Lovegood. 

 Granger opened the door of the compartment, and he stayed behind her, as she sat down, beside the fiery red head.

 He stayed frozen in the doorway and watched as Granger motioned for him to come in. He felt so out of place and confused, and as he slowly entered, the dull ache in his chest faded. He noticed this but didn't acknowledge the sudden change. He carefully sat beside Luna, who smiled at him, and said something that confused him even more.

 "Oh, Draco, you have nargles all around you…...Be careful so they don't start fizzing in your ears…." Her voice airy and for some reason, her proximity made him feel disturbed. He had to move away slightly, as the ache in his chest had started again, and got worse as he grew closer and closer to Lovegood. Draco stared at the floor, a trace of a thought wondering what the hell a nargles was and how it would start 'fizzing in your ear'.

 Draco looked at Granger, as she spoke, "Ginny, Luna, when I went to McGonagall's compartment to meet the other head…. Malfoy was the one there. Apparently, her judgement of him is that he deserves a second chance…" Her eyes betrayed her words. She did not think he did. From her eyes, he could tell she thought he deserved to be in Azkaban right alongside his parents. Just like everybody else. Nobody knows his story. Nobody cares about his story. All they think they need are the stories that the Daily Prophet published about him, and the fact that he had a tattoo on his arm. That's all they need to think it would have been better to send a 17-year-old, someone who had no choice, into Azkaban. Seems easier. Seems like less work for the world. The Ministry. He closed his eyes for a moment, focusing his thoughts off that, on what he may eat at the feast. If he ate at all. He had started to just not eat any food at all.

 Draco looked at Luna, and then Ginny, and his eyes finally landed on Hermione. He stared at her for a while, until the brunette looked at him with an expression, he could only interpret as pity. That made him angry on the inside, and he looked away, as she took in a breath, and he instantly knew she was about to talk directly to him.

 Hermione looked at him, "Malfoy, I am afraid that I can't help but notice that you haven't spoken a word, and…well you don't seem very healthy."

 Ginny glanced at Draco and then at Hermione, "Why are you worrying about him…. Why is he even in here?"

Draco watched Hermione take a deep breath, "Because, Ginny, Malfoy is the same age as us. He was dragged through the war just like we were. He was forced into his side as we were forced into ours. And if I am going to be living across from him all year, then I might as well try to not hate him."

He had no idea what she was doing or saying and was quite shocked by her sudden defense of his character, but he just stayed silent.

"He's a death eater. Was. Was a death eater. Hermione, his kind killed Fred!!!" Ginny snarled.

 Draco looked up, staring at her in silence. His eyes were closed off, and he stared at Hermione when she got up and came towards him. She knelt in front of him, fixing his tie that was done wrong, and he stared longer. She gave him a smile, and he didn't understand. She's being nice. She's not scared. She's in front of him, she's being nice. Being nice.

 Her eyes continued to look like molten chocolate, "Malfoy, just go back to your cabin…. I'll see you after dinner and I'll help you get settled in, ok?"

 He swallowed and nodded, getting up, not acknowledging the other people and he left. He took sharp deep breaths, as he got back to his cabin. He collapsed onto the seat, panting slightly. He sat there, head against the window, eyes closed, and he sat alone for the rest of the train ride. He tried to think about why this had just happened. First his principal told him he was getting a second chance, like a complete reform, and then he finds that the other head is the girl he was forced to torment for years, and then she is nice to him, and kind, and so gentle!?

 He felt the train starting to slow, and he grabbed his robes, pulling them fully on, and getting up. He walked out, in a slight daze, just boarding into one of the carriages, not being bothered by the strange skeletal-looking winged horses that led them. He had been able to see them since first year, and would have been able to before, had he been able to attend Hogwarts before the age of eleven.

 He watched as the school drew closer. It looked so beautiful in the setting sun, but so horrific. The towers were destroyed, and he could see that there were people working on the place where Gryffindor tower exists, and opposite that, on the other side of the massive tower that held the Astronomy tower at the top, the massive telescope no longer broken and peering out at the night sky, was Ravenclaw tower, also being repaired. He scanned the rest of the school and saw that masses of it were just rubble. He closed his eyes, remembering standing in the Great Hall as his own aunt stormed around, demolishing the Gryffindor table, and then blasting the beautiful stained-glass window to pieces. He sighed, opening his eyes, and watching as they started getting pulled across the newly rebuilt bridge to the school. He closed his eyes once again, not wanting any memories to come back, as he rode over the place where one of his best friends had taken her final breath. He felt a sob build in his chest, and swallowed it, burying his emotions deep inside. He felt the carriage come to a stop and he got up, walking through the courtyard where everything ended, and he walked into the school he never thought he would see again. He took a deep breath and walked into the Great Hall.[CD1] 

 He noticed instantly how empty the tables were. Draco walked over to the emptiest part of the Slytherin table and sat down, staring at the silver plate in silence. He heard two people sit either side of him and knew his best mates had come to his aid, but they couldn't help. This was depression, and it wasn't going away any time soon.

 Blaise nudged him, grinning, "Ey Head Boy huh? Care to not take any house points from your besties?" trying to lighten the mood, and hoping to get something out of Draco, but the boy didn't say a word, just staring at the plate.

 Blaise then looked at Theo, eyes urgent, obviously telling him to try. Theo then said, "Hey, Draco, your head boy, right? Have you seen your dorm? And whose head girl is with you? Probably some goody-goody Gryffindor huh?"

 Draco still stayed silent and laid his head on the empty plate. Both his friends cast him worried looks, before looking at each other. Theo hadn't been able to see him over the summer, having been placed under house arrest, as his parents had lied to try and take some of the pressure off their backs, and blamed Theo for some horrific actions. He hadn't spoken to them since. Now as he watched his best friend lay on the table, he knew something was worse than just 'wrong'. The boy was silent, but even Draco had little snide comments usually. 

 "Come on, mate? I haven't even gotten a 'hello Theo old buddy, old pal.' From you. Come on…" He tried to urge, but Draco didn't even move.

Draco could see the hall from his position, noticing that there were only a group of about twelve children waiting to be sorted. Only 12 first years? As he surveyed the room, the biggest number of students were second-fourth years, as all the kids who had been fourth year and above during the war had stayed to fight, while the rest were sent home and protected, so their parents weren't as worried for them, but the older years, many kids had refused to come back, or weren't able to come back. In total, Draco counted about 30 Slytherins, 50 or so Gryffindors, 20 odd Hufflepuffs, and about 40 or so Ravenclaws. The Great Hall had never been so empty in his entire life of going through the years, even after Voldemort came back in fourth year.

He sighed, not raising his head, even when a sharp chime sounded, as McGonagall tapped a spoon against her drinking glass. The murmuring in the hall cut to silence, almost every head looking towards her. She smiled and stood.

"Welcome," Her voice boomed around the half empty hall, "To another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I thank you all for returning, and I thank those who are new for putting forth courage and riding the train to this wonderful place."

Draco scoffed under his breath, closing his eyes. Wonderful place? People died here. People died in this room just over a year ago and you are calling it wonderful? His thoughts reeled as she gave her usual warnings about the Forbidden Forest, the Whomping Willow and Shrieking Shack, and giving the warnings that no student below third year was allowed to go to Hogsmeade.

He then perked up when she started talking about prefects. He listed off each student, recognizing that the only prefect from Slytherin was Blaise. The boy looked ecstatic. Draco rolled his eyes, allowing him to have his fun, and then McGonagall continued her speech.

"Now can I please ask Ms. Hermione Granger and Mr. Draco Malfoy to please stand?" She asked, and he obliged, rising, and seeing Granger do the same. "I ask for a round of applause of welcome and respect to our Head Boy and Head Girl for this year." And the hall filled with slow antagonizing claps for Draco, but then the odd few people who were hollering for Granger. It seemed everybody was happy for her and pissed that he wasn't hanging from a tree with a rope around his neck.

After a moment, he was instructed to be seated, and he did so with pleasure, leaning back against the cold stone, and closing his eyes. McGonagall's voice died out, mixing with the low rumble of voices when she started the feast, and once again, repeating what he had done for God knows how long, he didn't eat anything, and asked for fire whiskey in his cup using his thoughts. It filled the cup with the brilliant red liquid, and he drained it. That's the only thing that gave him relief. The red-hot liquid burned down his throat as he swallowed, and soon he felt numb. Draco made sure he only got tipsy as he did have to speak with McGonagall and Granger after dinner, so he didn't want to be slurring his words, but if he could stand, he would be fine. He had two more glasses, before making himself stop, and setting the glass down.

Blaise had been watching his friend the entire time, and then said, "Why must you drink yourself into submission? I am sure there is another way to make the pain from Pansy's death fade away-" 

Draco turned him out. He said her name. He had verbally said her name. Everybody knew not to say her name around him but here Blaise was, throwing it around like it was a toy. Draco closed his eyes, leaning over onto the table, taking deep and shaking breaths, to try and calm his mind. He was drunk, and angry, and hurting.

Dinner ended, and he got up, swaying slightly, but then managing to walk in a straight line. He made his way through the hall and up towards McGonagall, where Granger already stood. He swallowed thickly, blinking away the daze. His professor watched him approach, instantly knowing the poor boy had been drinking at dinner, but said nothing, knowing that nothing she said would change his habits.

Granger was studying him, eyes boring into his, and he just ignored her, looking at McGonagall, as the woman spoke, "Good to see you both again, follow me. Mr. Malfoy do be careful of your head when we go into the dorm. I advise you duck, just for now while I know you won't notice the low ceiling."

Draco nodded, as they made their way towards the dorm. Keeping her advice in mind, he ducked when entering, and staggered as he had to stop. He emerged into a massive common area, holding the wall slightly, eyes unfocused. Granger was beside him and little did he know that the pressure on his back was her arm, and that he hadn't heard McGonagall tell her to hold him up right.

"This is the head dormitory. As you walk in, on either side of the room there is a door, and there are both bedrooms, both identical, and can be decorated using magic. The one to the right is Mr. Malfoy's room, and the one to your left is Ms. Granger's. There is a kitchen, stocked with food should you need it, and a library is behind the door beside the fireplace. You both have your respective bathrooms for privacy, and your bags have all been unpacked and are ready for you." She said Draco only heard a bit but understood. He blinked and nodded along to her words.

"Mr. Malfoy?" She asked, not getting a response. "Mr. Malfoy can you hear me?" she asked, and his head raised slightly, giving a subtle nod, "Good. Do not resist the help you are receiving. You, in fact, are fully at fault for your current state, and I expect that you do not show up to classes on Wednesday with a hangover. You have expectations now as a head. I bid you both good nights."

Had Draco been sober, he would have noticed that as he leant against Granger, that the stabbing pains in his chest once again faded back to nothing in her presence, but he would not remember this in the morning. He was insistent on trying to walk on his own, holding the wall, swaying a bit, but that weird pressure on his back never faded, as she never fully let him go. Her hand closed around his doorknob, opening it, and leading him inside, making him sit on his bed, as she pulled off his tie, and then robes. She left him in a dress shirt and dress pants, using magic to remove his shoes and socks.

Hermione knew that she would never have been able to be this close to him if he hadn't been under the influence, so she took this chance to help him as much as she could, getting him laid down, and tucking him into bed.

"I'm sorry Malfoy, that you feel the need to get drunk. I won't rest until you are healed. McGonagall told me to help you, and after all, out of everybody, I think you deserve a second chance." Stroking the hair from his drowsy silver eyes. "You, need to go to sleep. I'll make you breakfast in the morning. Harry never feels good after a drunk night. Sleep well Malfoy." And she blew out the candles. Draco's eyes slid shut, and he passed out, falling into a deep sleep, something he hadn't had in months. And he dreamt of a girl with curly brunette hair.

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The next morning, all he felt was a massive pounding headache that seemed to throb through his entire body. He groaned, turned over, and promptly fell out of bed with a thud. He stayed on the hard wooden floor, in a bundle of quilts and sheets, groaning.

He heard a voice and then pounding on his door, "Malfoy! I heard a thud! You, ok?"

He didn't answer, and the door opened. He heard footsteps approach the side of the bed he fell out of and heard an annoyed sigh. "How many times are you going to fall out of bed in one night? Are you awake this time?"

He slowly raised himself from the floor, groggy, and rubbing his eyes. He had a bad bed head, his eyes fuzzy, and he had pulled his dress shirt open as he had gotten hot during the night. He blinked, focusing on the girl. She was wearing muggle jeans, and a flowery tank top, with sandals, her hair tied up in a messy bun, no makeup on her face. He was surprised at how much she had changed. She seemed to have slept off the deep shadows under her eyes, and she had obviously eaten a good breakfast, bright eyes surveying him.

"Your gonna answer that or just stand there dumbfounded?" She asked.

He shrugged, bending over, and picking up the blankets, shoving them back on the bed, as she sighed, "Do you remember much about last night?"

He thought for a moment, and then shook his head as he made up his bed.

Granger huffed, "You got drunk at dinner! You openly drank alcohol! You are Head Boy! You should know better! You can't just go around doing that now…"

She looked at the blonde as he finished his bed and looked at her and tilted his head towards the door.

"What…? Are you hungry?" Hermione asked, confused.

He nodded, and walked towards the door, but then looked back at her, his expression clearly reading, 'Are you coming?'. Hermione, taking a second to shake away the surprise, nodded.

Draco walked out, slightly confused as to why she was once again openly speaking to him, his head pounding still from a major hangover. He rummaged through the pantries, and found a vial of a sobering potion, drinking it. He let out a little groan, as his emotions slammed into him like a hippogriff, and he instantly swallowed them and bottled them up. Then he felt the throbbing in his chest again. He heard Granger walking behind him as they searched for the kitchen, finding a door, and walking in. He let her walk in and then closed the door. For just a second, the throb faded, as her hand brushed against his side, and then almost as quickly as it happened, it faded.

He walked towards the table, grabbed an apple, sitting down, and took a deep breath, and slowly ate his fruit. He watched as Granger walked and started making something at the stove. He didn't let her see the smile, but he did smile slightly as she stood there. Draco caught himself smiling and instantly stopped, taking a deep breath, and steadying his features. He finished the apple quickly, but ate nothing else, staying silent and letting her calmly eat some more food. Draco studied her more, and when she finished her food, Hermione looked up.

"Why don't you talk…?" she asked quietly, watching his emotions flash before he closed off. "Malfoy, what happened to you…?"

He stayed silent still, watching her. Draco then waved it off, clearly not wanting to speak, but also...wanting too? What was happening to him around this girl. He heard her sigh deeply, and say, "I know you won't, and don't remember but, I told you last night that I believe you deserve a second chance…. McGonagall trusts you, and I know you haven't done anything bad…If you will let me, I want to be your friend. I think it's better us be friends, rather than living together but being enemies…. How do you feel about that?"

Draco stared at her, his mouth slightly open, watching her face for any signs of this being a lie or prank or something to push his buttons. Then he slowly nodded. He wanted that. He wanted her to be his friend. He really didn't want to fight anymore. But it was strange, that she was being so.... Accepting of him. He found it odd. Had she really changed that much since the war?

He took a deep breath, as she smiled and got up, slinging a bag over her shoulder, "Alright, I'll see you in a little while. I am meeting Harry in the library so I can help him find books for the school year. I'll come find you for lunch then, Malfoy?" 

He nodded, watching her leave the room, and slowly the throbbing pains increased, just enough to be a bother. He rubbed his chest, wincing slightly, allowing himself to feel these pains once more. He soon left the common room, heading towards the library as well, going back, far away from where she was. 

The stabbing pains were incessant, and he had finally decided that they were worth spending his time to try and figure out what was wrong with him, or at least find possible solutions.

He had access to the library. Now to figure out what was wrong with him. He pulled many books from the shelves, making a stack of about seven, all massive, and old. He got onto a sofa, and started reading the first one, searching for any symptoms he was having. The stabbing chest pains.

The first book was a book published in 1582, by a warlock who got burned at the stake by his neighbors five days after publication. Draco raised his eyebrows at this, wondering how correct it would be, but he searched through it. The book pages felt thick, like it had been parchment that got stitched together to make the book. He felt the spine, rubbing along it as he read, not finding anything useful. Every other page seemed to be screaming that he had a weird disease spread by a creature that in this warlock's time was a rampaging venomous issue but has been extinct to Draco's knowledge since the 1700's, so he had nothing to worry about there. He groaned, slowly closing the old book to keep it safe, and placed it on the coffee table beside him, as he lounged back, reading the next one. 

This book was one he had used in third year, in his care of magical creature's class. Draco wasn't sure why, but he felt like this book may help. It was small, so he set it aside, tucking it under his leg as he reached for another old, styled book. He opened it, but it started yelling in Latin at him, and he chucked the book across the room, slamming it shut against the wall, eyes wide, heart hammering against his chest. Why do we even have books that do that, he thought to himself as he picked up another book.

Draco read this one, which continued about how he may be affected by some strange curse, which when he consulted a spell book, was proved to be fake, used by someone who had been trying to trick a village into thinking he was a wizard. He groaned and tossed that one to the floor, rubbing his face. He looked up at the ceiling, getting frustrated.

He reached for another book, which had the same idea as the first book, and it was utterly useless. He grabbed the rest of the books, and the care of magical creatures' book, getting up and walking to check out these various items.

He set them down in front of Madam Pince, who stared at him, eyes horrified, "You dare set foot in my library…"

Draco stayed silent, eyes downcast. He pushed the books forwards, just wanting to check them out and not cause any issues. He didn't speak as usual, but he slowly looked up, and let out a small sigh, clearly pleading.

She glared at him, "You are not taking any of these!! I cannot trust that they will be brought back!! Nobody can trust someone like you!"

His mouth opened and his eyes looked hurt, and he grabbed her sign out pen. 

"I REALLY NEED THESE BOOKS...." 

Pince glared at him, "Get out of my library.... NOW!!

Draco looked broken by the words, eyes slightly tearing up, not speaking, and taking the books into his arms, unaware of two pairs of eyes, Hermione's, and Harry's as they sat gathering up books, seeing the entire thing. 

"Please" He mouthed, but she pointed at the door.

"You better get lost before I call the headmaster...."

Draco quickly set them down, leaving the library, having left them on a table. He rushed down the hall, feeling panicked, his breathing jumping, and growing uneven, and he had to yank at his tie, barely able to take in breath. The hall span, everything mixing, and he somehow found himself stumbling through the portrait hole, and shutting it behind him, managing to get a few steps in, before he collapsed, curling in on himself, having a panic attack. He gasped, sputtering for air, eyes wide, but unseeing as his heartbeat jumped. He couldn't focus, could barely breathe, and couldn't stop. Couldn't calm down. Everybody hated him. Hated him to the bone. He couldn't even check out books.

As this happened, Hermione was sitting with harry, having just finished gathering his books for the semester, and they had both seen this event happen. She stood up, walking over, and collecting the books he had wanted, along with Harry's, and walked to Madam Pince who hadn't noticed this.

"Can I check these out please?" she asked, making sure to remain kind. 

The librarian smiled, "Of course dear, let me get these." Stamping them all with a due date. 

She handed the books back to Hermione, who quickly gave Harry his, and said, "I'm sorry for having to rush, but I think something is wrong with Malfoy."

Harry sighed but understood her worries. He always knew that Hermione saw good in everybody. He watched as she ran off with a few books in her hands, rushing to her dorm.

She opened the door, calling out, "Malfoy!? Malfoy! Malfoy where- Oh Merlin- "She dropped the books, walking towards him, kneeling slowly so he didn't scare him. She reached out, and touched his wrist, the boy flinching away, whimpering, not able to calm down.

"Malfoy…Malfoy listen to me." She said taking his other wrist. He flinched from her grip, as her hands, her fingers slowly rubbed his palms. He felt some form of relaxation start to work its way into his system, and he listened to her words. 

"Breathe, you must breathe Malfoy. Listen, breathe in….and breathe out…" She said gently, rubbing his palms still. She continued to instruct his breathing, and after a few minutes, his staggered breathing tried to listen to her words. He was still crying, but he slowly was able to adjust his rapid heart rate and breathing.

He took a deep breath, and then let it out, another deep breath in, and then out. He felt slow calmness wash over him, his panic starting to fade. Slowly he drew in deeper breaths, and he was able to calm down fully. He slowly closed his eyes, panting, body shaking. He felt her arms around him, lifting him up, carrying the lanky boy towards his own room. She nudged the door open, watching his face, as he slowly relaxed more, until she believed he was in an almost asleep state. She laid him down in the bed, keeping back, watching him for a moment, until she knew he was asleep.

"You can't stay silent forever…. And I am not going to let you…" She muttered, watching the boy for a few more moments to make sure he was ok, and then went to pick up his books. She pulled out a quill, writing a note for him.

'Malfoy,

 I saw what happened in the library. I'm sorry people treat you that way. I checked out the books you left on the table, and I've left them for you. I hope you remember what happened after you ran, but if you don't, come meet me in the Room of Requirement. Just think of me, and it will send you into the room I am occupying.

 -H. Granger'

She left the books on the side table beside Malfoy's bed, checking on him once more, before leaving, and going to the room of requirement, where she created a small room, with fluffy pillows and a comfortable bed. Each pillow was different, all of them made of varied materials and of different stuffing's. She sat beside a beautiful solid window, that looked like a massive opening in the wall, but it was a window. She was curled up buried in multiple pillows, and a few body pillows. She had a book called 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' by Newt Scamander and was reading each of the creatures when she read a certain one. 

"Veela are semi-human magical beings; beautiful women with white-golden hair and skin that appears to shine moon-bright. When angry, Veela take on a less pleasant appearance; their faces elongate into sharp, cruel-beaked bird heads, and long scaly wings burst from their shoulders."

She continued to read this, seeing the next paragraph read, "Veela's are something that can be passed through bloodlines, along with skipping multiple generations, up to seven. A full-blooded veela will always be a woman, attached to a male, who will become their mate when they turn of age, or 18. However, being passed through blood, over years of skipping, a half-blooded veela will be produced, male or female. They will be attached to someone of the opposite sex, a male to a female, or a female to a male, of which they are unable to control, picked at random. The change of being a half-veela, would result that their transformation does not change their face shape, but their eyes will lose their natural color, taking on an obsidian black color, their hands will grow into sharp claws, and from their mouth, fully extended fangs will grow from their canines. As a full-blooded veela, the person will have full control over the creature inside of them, and will be one with the beast, able to call upon certain abilities, no issues of losing control, as they are full veela, no human. Yet, as a half-blooded veela, the human and veela are separate minds, thoughts, feelings, speeches, put into one body. There will be switches of control, where the veela will be there, or the human. On occasion, the half-blooded veela may sprout wings, in times of great stress or anger, but it will cause the person immense pain, but will not leave any remaining damage. Both full-blooded and half-blooded veela's will start feeling pains on their 18th birthday, which will slowly grow worse over time, as they approach their 19th. They will start trying to find their mate, full-blooded veela's will know exactly when and who their mate is, while half-blooded will just feel their mate, not knowing what is happening, just that something is slowly hurting them. Shall the veela's not find their mate before their 19th birthday, on their birthday, they will have a slow death of rejection, of a veela's broken heart. Half-blooded veela's are known for pale complexions, extreme height differences, and the same white-blonde hair that full-blooded veela's will have.'

Hermione read over this a few times, absorbing it and finding it interesting, just as the door opened, and Draco walked in. He spotted her, and he dropped his hand from his chest where he was having severe chest pains. He walked towards her and sat down in front of her.

She closed the book, studying him, and said, "I'm glad to see you up and about. Did you like the books?" Hermione watched him some more.

He nodded and gave her the ghost of a smile. He looked at the book she was reading, and then up at her, eyes curious, but strongly guarded.

She said, "Oh, it's the book by Newt Scamander. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. It's brilliant. He has magnificent experiences with so many creatures from kelpies to pixies to unicorns, to veela's! It is so interesting what happens to veela's, and I never knew it could be passed down multiple generations and not show. Also, Unicorns never mate with other unicorns! They mate with horses, but the unicorn gene is dominant, so it takes charge over the horse genes!"

Draco was listening to her and had leaned back against some of the pillows. He wanted to speak slightly, for the first time since the end of the war, but he didn't. He reached out, hands open, and she handed him the book.

He looked over the page for veela's, keeping his face steady, but inside his entire world had just connected. The chest pains! Started on his 18th birthday! He needed to investigate this more….

He smiled, and handed it back to her, and pushed the page down, asking her to mark that page. She smiled, raising her wand, but Draco jumped up, and away from her, eyes terrified, locked on the wand.

Hermione looked up at him, "What?" she asked, confused, and then it clicked. She quickly put the wand away, "I'm so sorry! I didn't even think you would have PTSD from wands being near you!"

He stared at her, and slowly came back to her side, watching her every movement now. He sat a good distance from her, and then felt another sharp stab of pain in his chest that he couldn't ignore. He grabbed his chest, making a noise of discomfort.

Hermione studied this but stayed quiet as he obviously didn't want to be questioned over this. She then said, "Malfoy, are you going to speak again?"

He rubbed his chest, making the pain fade slightly, and shrugged. Maybe.

Granger sighed, and said, "Well, you came in here to figure out what happened. You ran out of the room, out of the library, and I don't know what happened in the hallway, but you found your way back into the common room. I checked out the books you wanted, and then went back to our dorm. I found you panting on the floor, holding your chest, crying. You couldn't calm down, so I grabbed your wrists, and started telling you how to breathe, making you take deep and calming breaths. I rubbed your palms, and slowly you seemed to calm down, so I picked you up off the floor and carried you to your bed. You fell asleep in my arms, and I put you to sleep, tucking you in, and then wrote the note. I just wanted you to know that nothing bad happened. I also want to apologize for Madam Pince. She doesn't understand…" 

Draco listened, pulling one leg up, resting his chin on his knee, looking at her. She stared at him, both silent for a while, until she broke the silence.

"Seems we are both trying to figure out each other…. I can help you with that, but either way. We are damaged people. It may take a while. But I am going to figure you out Malfoy." She said, and Draco noticed that it had a hint of a threat, as if she wouldn't take no for an answer. Or in his case, she wouldn't take it if he shook his head, so he slowly nodded.

She smiled, checking her watch, "Seems you woke up just in time for lunch starting. Come on Malfoy. You can sit with me at the Gryffindor table, as I saw your two mates going out to play quidditch when I came to find you."

Draco nodded, and stood up, as she got up beside him. He looked down at her, and smiled, noticing how short she was. Hermione was about 5'4 5'5, and Draco was a towering 6'5. He watched her crack a smile and swat his hand away.

"I am not short. You're just a giant!" She laughed. He let himself have a ghost of a smile before locking his emotions again, following her out of the room of requirement, out into the hallway. She led him down the hall, as he wasn't very familiar with the route to the Great Hall from where they had been.

As usual, he attracted the attention from the entire hallway right onto him, but he ignored it, glaring at some third years who were gawking up at him. He sneered towards a group of fifth years, all girls, who squealed and ran down the hall away from him.

Hermione looked up, "You know you really didn't need to do that…"

He just shrugged in response, avoiding eye contact as she led him into the Great Hall. He walked beside her, and sat down on her left side, avoiding the eyes of every student in there for lunch. There were so many more people. People had avoided the welcoming feast, and now he wished he hadn't accepted her offer to sit with him.

Hermione said happily, "I ran into Malfoy in the hall, so I thought I should bring him to lunch. Is that alright with you guys?" And her expression clearly read that she would kill anybody who said no. Draco wasn't looking, staring at his plate as usual. Hermione looked towards him, face slightly concerned, "Hey Malfoy, the bread rolls are brilliant. Want some?" He shook his head, nervous, but he wouldn't let them see that he was.

The pain in his chest was growing, and he rubbed the side his heart was on, looking in discomfort again, wincing. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and his head snapped up, the pain disappearing suddenly. He looked at the granger's hand on his arm.

"Hey, are you ok? You keep rubbing your chest and look in pain." She worried, rubbing his arm. 

Tingles exploded in his arm, making him feel giddy, as she rubbed him a bit more. He ripped away, almost falling over the seat, as he felt the urge to hug her, and something started hurting in his mouth. He staggered back, and bolted out the hall, towards his dorm, his room. He burst in, slamming his door open and bolting into the bathroom, slamming into the sink. Confusion exploded as he pulled his gums back, and his canines on the top and bottom had expanded into massive fangs. Pearly white and the tips were so sharp that when he touched them, they poked him like a needle. He hissed, yanking his hand away, running it under cold water. He turned his head both ways, baring his fangs to watch them, as he opened and closed his mouth. They didn't slice his mouth, like a protection spell was over it. He rubbed his arm where the tingles had been, and he felt the aching pain explode even worse.

He groaned, and watched as the fangs slowly sank back, morphing back into his regularly sized canines, and he winced. That hurt.

He rubbed his mouth a bit, and looked at his finger, but the injury was fully healed. He looked closer, amazed. He then inspected his mouth again, but nothing was out of the ordinary.

 His chest was aching worse, as he heard the door to the common room open. He pulled his shirt off, aching more and more, and he walked outside, blinking a bit through the pain.

Hermione was sitting in a chair beside their bookshelves, and looked up, her face burning red. "What are you- where's your shirt?"

He shrugged, tossing it behind him. He sat down across from her, and took her Fantastic Beasts book, looking at the facts about veela's, and became more convinced. He looked up at Hermione, and stayed silent, seeing her studying him. 

What was happening to him? 

Ok so this story is doing much better, and I think this one will work a lot better. [CD1]