Chapter 9

We are sitting on the bed in my dorm room holding each other and I can swear that it is the most pleasant moment of my life that I have experienced so far. I could sit like this on his chest forever just listening to his breathing  relaxed and the sound of his heart beating at the same rhythm as mine.

 - Did you like it? Does it hurt?

 He breaks the silence between us as he places a kiss on my forehead.

 -Yes...

 - Yes, what? Yes, did you like it, or yes, did it hurt?

 I lift my head from his chest, enough to look him in the eyes and kiss him on the lips.

 - Yes, I liked it. Very much. I didn't think everything could feel so good. It was the first time and I should worry if you liked it or not.

 He places a short kiss on the tip of my nose and smiles.

 - You were phenomenal. It was more than pleasure what I felt at that moment. It was also special for me. Because it was your first time... Was it as you expected it to be?

 - I made love for the first time with the man I love and have by my side... For me it was more than I imagined it would be the first time.

 He widens his eyes when he hears me talking and it takes me a few seconds to realize what's wrong with me. After that everything hits me like lightning. I told him I love him. God...

 Please don't say anything. Please...

 -Kate, baby...Do you really believe this? Do you really love me?

 Damn...What am I saying now?

-Is that gift for me?

 I close my eyes at my question and I feel so stupid for choosing to change the subject but...I think I'm afraid to tell him what I really think. I mean....Everything my father did to me is still  there. Present. I don't think the mental wounds will heal as quickly as the physical ones.

 He sighs and gets out of bed getting dressed.

 - Yes, it is for you. I allowed myself to give you a present and I would be very proud if you chose to wear it to the meeting tonight.

 I get off the bed and put on the bathrobe, then I take the gift bag and take out a blue dress made of a fine material, split on the right side up to the middle of the thighs. I see two cords that seem to tie around the neck and  my throat dries up at the sight of the dress. I have never worn anything like this. For me, such dresses seemed much too sexy.

 -Sam, this... I mean, I don't know if...

 - It will look great on you. Try it on.

 -I should take another shower and tighten the sheet. I don't want anyone to see...this.  I motion to the red spot on the bed.

 - I'll take care of the sheets. You go and take a shower.

 I take everything I need, this time without forgetting my underwear and almost run to the bathroom. I quickly run the shower, only washing my body this time, then I quickly wipe myself. I still feel the pain like a burn, but  not unbearable. But a constant pain like irritation. I take my underwear on and for the first time I worry about my underwear choices. I have to organize my clothes... Maybe even buy new ones. But leaving all  these aside....I run again down the hall of the dorm to not make Sam wait too long. I enter the room and take off my bathrobe without realizing what I'm doing. I just stayed at  bare chest and only in panties in front of Sam. I see him sipping me with his eyes and cover my breasts with his hands. He approaches me and takes my hands, placing them next to my body.

 - You don't have to hide from me. You are beautiful. You should be proud of the shapes you have. He says and takes my face in his hands, caressing me gently and gently.

Why do I feel like I have a flock of butterflies in my stomach? I stand up on my tiptoes and give her a short kiss, then I start to put on the dress.

 -Let me help you.  He says and sits behind me tying the straps of the dress in the back, then places a kiss on my shoulder which makes me blush.

 - I have a question, Sam.  I say looking at us in the closet mirror.

 - I'm listening to you. He says and places another kiss on my shoulder.

 -You...You...love me?

 He turns me to face him and puts a strand of hair behind my ear.

 -What's with this question all of a sudden?

 - I just wanted... Leave it alone. Forget what I asked you.

 I look down at the ground in shame and feel like clapping my hands to recover. If he made love to me, that doesn't mean he loves me, but only that he was attracted to me. And I... I can't  I think I've come to think about whether he loves me or not. Even if he doesn't, I owe him. He saved me from my darkest nightmare and made me the person I am today. Come back, Kate.

 I adjust my dress once more and give Sam a smile that leaves him breathless. At least that's how it seems.

 -Kate, baby...

 - No. Don't say anything. I don't want to hear how you feel about me. I took you too suddenly. I don't want an answer now, okay?

 He laughs and pulls me to his chest, kissing me on the forehead.

 - I wanted to tell you that you look irresistible, but if you don't want to hear my opinion...

 -Oh gosh....

 He takes my hand and we leave the dorm room. I see a few curious glances thrown at our sight and a few whispers are heard. I try not to hit my head with them because it's not the first time they gossip about our age difference. I'm used to it  with that, and Sam doesn't seem to be affected at all by what happens around him.

 We get to the car and after we both put on our seat belts, Sam takes it off and I have an impression that it will be some luxury restaurant and I will have to return again to the status of heir to a business that I never liked  .Mafia. How does God, a real estate businessman like Sam, fall in love or please save his life from her black nightmare who is none other than the heiress of the biggest and most feared mafia? If someone had written a book,  I would really have laughed at this whole thing, but this is us.

 Sam is my savior, my knight in armor, and I am precisely the messenger of death that must be deprived of happiness, not receive it.

 Damn... And the worst thing is that when I have to let him go, I won't be able to... because I love him.