I think I am High

I think there was something inside the soup I ate this morning.

And by something, I meant narcotic substances like opium or magic mushrooms.

I mean, I was hallucinating. I am hallucinating. I'm hearing things ever since I visited the nearby forest and bumped into a damn horse...and that damn horse just would not let me go.

No, it wasn't carnivorous, thank god for small mercies.

It just couldn't stop acting like one of those creepy and clingy fangirls who met their favorite pop star.

Yes, I'm going crazy alright.

"Bro, like, I can't believe I met Lord Poseidon's grandson! A grandson who also smells so much like Lord Hermes! Like...divine chicken!"

Now, that's just disturbing. Divine chicken? That sounds like something out of a five-star hotel's secret menu list.

...Wait. Did this horse just say I smell like chicken?

"So yeah, I'm so gonna tell all the other horses out there ya know, since the bitches love a good gossip and-"

I tuned out the neighing horse and turned away.

Is there anything...anyone who can give me an excuse to shut this horse up? , I asked in my mind.

And as they always say, I should have been careful about what I wished for.

"ABDERUS! YOUNG MAN, YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

That was my mother. My mother who was also a very pissed-off demigod of Poseidon.

Rightfully so, considering the fact I sneaked out by myself. I was still five years old, so there's also that. The final nail in the coffin was that I had a tendency to use a butcher knife as my practice sword.

She also said something about monsters, but I knew the forest nearby was safe. Forests near civilization were almost devoid of large carnivores, after all. I also had a knack for using knives by being a son of Hermes, so there's also that.

How am I so sure about me being a demigod? Here, let me show you.

With a jolt, I freed myself from the horse and started running. Running at the speed of an adult top-level athlete, I may add. No young kid can do that.

Sadly for me, my mother was also a demigod. A powerful demigod, I may add. And being the daughter of Poseidon, she had complete control over all animals that could be classified as a 'horse'.

"CATCH HIM!", she ordered the horse that was nagging me.

The ground shook with her voice. As in, quite literally.

I was suddenly reminded of the fact that my grandfather was also called the Earthshaker for a reason. It obviously ran in the family.

" MA'AM YES MA'AM!", the stupid buck-toothed beast neighed in the sheer epitome of obedience.

"FUCK!", I shouted.

"LANGUAGE!", my mother shouted back.

Truly, horses were my absolute nemesis. The anti-Abderus. Those things have no loyalty, at least to me.

What? They need carrots and a whip? Let them earn deez carrot-OW!

That....that damn horse caught my sleeve with his ugly bucktooth and swung me into the air! How dare he-

"Got you."

My blood froze when two arms snatched me from the air and put my neck in a gentle but agonizing chokehold.

"Wait, mother, time-out, I'm sorry!"

I gasped and wheezed, trying to free myself but to no avail. My mother was too damn strong. Hell, I saw her punch a rampaging cow in the marketplace once.

Spoiler: the cow is now one horn short.

My dear mother smiled at me sweetly, but I could see the veins bulge out on her forehead.

"Abderus...my dear, lovely, child....how many times did you sneak out by yourself to play with knives in the forest....hmmm...?"

I gulped. I knew I was in the wrong, though I had no other option if I wanted to train...

My mother would not let me touch anything sharp (as any responsible parent should) and she did not want to teach me how to fight.

So I just looked into her eyes, conveying the fact that we both knew what the other was thinking.

My mother let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes.

"Do you want to train that much, my son?", she asked softly. I nodded.

...Little did I know that would spell out my doom.

When my mother opened her eyes again, I felt a chill run down my spine. Anxiety pooled into my stomach as I watched in horror as her lips quirked up in a predatory smile that reminded me of a starved shark who smelled a gallon of fresh blood three meters away.

I knew, at that very moment...

"Well, well, well...why don't you say so~. Fufufu....it's TIME FOR THE AMAZONIAN STYLE BOOTCAMP: CHIRON EDITION!!!!!"

I fucked up.