Departure of the Forsaken

"Meriane—," Nicolas shook the princess in an attempt to wake her up, but she only replied with an upset grunt. "Meriane, this is not your room," when he got no reaction from all of the shaking, he decided to carry her back to her room. It was a brief walk through the cold breeze of the night. He knocked on the door several times but the room he thought was occupied earlier is now confirmed to be deserted. Tilting the unlocked knob, he let themselves in. "She might have ended at Anton's room after all," he thought as he laid down Meriane at her bed.

After fixing her bed, blanket, and all, he quickly tried to excuse himself when Meriane called him.

"Hey Nicolas," she smiled pulling the prince by his hand then wrestled him down the bed, sitting over him just like at the pond earlier. "You know, Selene taught me that an average human body is 60% percent water."

"What about that?" Nicolas wondered why that would be relevant now, his face painted with condescend since it's a fact that he already learned a long time ago. He desperately tried to free himself, but the princess made use of her entire body weight.

"Since you are 60% water too, would you let me take a sip?" Meriane blurted, pinning him down back to the bed.

"Take a sip? If you're thirsty then I'll get you a drink," Nicolas's brows almost merged out of confusion. A face he had never made since his arithmetic lessons.

Holding Meriane by her shoulder, he gently pushed the princess, but she caught him by the wrist and pinned it back to the bed. He stiffened like a dead log, her hands giving warmth to his cheeks as her soft pinkish lips touched his.

Not knowing what got to him, he let himself be swayed by the provocation. He savored their exchanged as if it was his favorite dish, letting every flavor envelop his pallet. Meriane's hand freed his wrist and caressed his hair as the other travelled from his neck and collarbone until the buttons of his shirt, popping them one by one. Her breath reeks the smell of wine as it comes in contact with Nicolas's face.

He pulled her close, wrestled her to the bed, switching positions as he bored his lips to her neck. Siezing her hands as a retaliation from earlier, heaving, he pulled them pass her head as he continued mapping the unknown. Slowly losing himself to the cardinal sin, he continued to travel south, but with his fingers inches from reaching its destination, he froze.

Taking a glimpse of himself through the mirror, he felt chills down his spine. Breathing heavily, all the things he did finally caught up to his logical brain. He knew this is wrong, a little more and he might have gone the path of no return. Regretting what he had done, he quickly retracted, but before he could fully leave the bed, Meriane caught him again by the end of his sleeve.

"Did you feel anything from that Nicolas… or all of that did not even reach your numb cold heart even a little?" she blurted grasping tightly to his sleeve.

"This is a mistake. I should have not drunk that. Let's— let's just talk tomorrow," Nicolas's heart is still beating wildly as he tried to dismiss the question.

"Answer me," she yelled, to which Nicolas replied silence. "That's what I thought, even an alcohol and aphrodisiac won't make you look my way," she let him go. "Just so you'll know I opened that box"

"Why would you do that, I told you not to"

"I'm not done talking yet," she tucked herself to bed. "I opened it because I thought it's for me, why else would you prevent me from seeing it if it's not a surprise right?" she tried to laugh but it sounded bitter and sad. "But I was wrong. As I picked it up, oh how wrong I was, with a simple glimpse of it I already knew who it was meant to be, or at least who once took possession of it," her voice began to falter as tears fell down her cheeks. "If I remember correctly, it was hers, right?"

"What do you mean hers—"

"For the second time, I'm not done talking," she again yelled. "I know it's hers because although we're still young at that time, from the other side of the table I saw how bright your smile was as you looked at her. It's a smile that I never once saw when you look at me."

Nicolas has no way to reply. He is guilty and he knows it, he thought he had masked it properly, for most of the people at least it did. Meriane is an important part of his life, with her, his life at least had a sprinkle of color. He cares for her as if she's his sister and would do anything to protect her, but as tragic as it is for the princess, this cold prince had never seen her that way.

"I'm sure it's hers because you're holding that hair clip when you got back from outside, blood stained and all. The night when you laughed at her mother as you said that she died. When you slashed your father and almost killed that boy," Meriane explained not planning to step on the breaks.

Nicolas's eyes widened as he heard what she said, "What did you say?" he felt more terror down his spine.

"Don't you remember?" Meriane's tear flowed even more, damping the blanket and her pillow. "I was also there, didn't you notice me, am I too irrelevant to be seen or you just casted me away together with your memories, sealing it at the back of your mind."

Something from the depths of Nicolas's mind is knocking profusely, its desperately trying to surface as a shear pain engulfed his head. He knows what it was, he can feel what it is, it is the memory that he so tried to forget and now he was haunted by the bottle that he forcefully sealed for so long that it's now starting to break.

"Is that why you can't answer my question? you liked her don't you," Meriane continued her woes as she covered herself with the blanket, failing to notice Nicolas who's trying so hard not to have a breakdown on the floor.

Nicolas felt like crying as the memories he tried to run from but never really forgot finally caught up to him, but still, tears does not seem to come. All he felt was his head pulsing and his chest being punctured. It hurts as he tried catching his breath while leaning against the wall.

"She's already dead Nicolas, LET HER FINALLY REST IN PEACE. I'm here for you and I'll always will, why can't you open your heart to me."

"SHUT UP, MAKE IT STOP," with the princess's continues cry and his growing confusion paired with the rapid resurfacing of his memories, he could only yell. It was painful, but it got him closer to the truth.

"She's dead, why can't you accept that," Meriane whispered.

Without any other words, Nicolas ended the conversation there. He got up, opened the door, and slammed it shut. His first impulse was to go to the old well to clear his mind, but the echo of the past is already screaming at its peak.

Any place or thing that might remind him of the past might break his sanity. "She's already dead," it drilled in his right ear while the laughs of the man, the cause of this all can be heard on the other. Nicolas felt dizzy as he stopped and sat on the steps. He took a deep breath. His right hand clenching his hair, while the other on his chest trying to stabilize his breathing and the pain. Amidst of his agony, two familiar voices from below are heading towards him, so, he quickly hid.

"It's nice to see your kingdom finally on its feet again," King Ferrol congratulated Frederick as they swayed left and right with each step.

"It's all thanks to your assistance that I can finally repay you for your help"

"You don't have to worry about that. All I want is to make our kingdom's bond to be strong, but it can be stronger, if you know what I mean"

"This again?" Frederick waited for him.

"Well, didn't you say yes, the first time? You even risked bringing your son almost every month for a week to Algernon so that he and my sweet daughter can be close enough," Ferrol hiccupped. "Close enough for a marriage."

Nicolas whose waiting for them at the top felt Goosebumps on his skin but still he kept silent. So many things are going on through his mind, too many emotions to process, and here are the kings placing another layer of questions to his mind

"It's true, one marriage can be the answer to this all. We can shut up those merchants in one fell swoop"

"If I did not know you, I would think that you're using your son as a payment," Ferrol laughed, and Frederick seconded as they walked pass Nicolas who was silently hiding in a corner.

That last joke took a toll on his tolerance and capacity. "Payment, father?" he emerged from the shadows.

The kings were shocked as if their hangover had been lifted in one single swoop. All there's left are their stunned faces, pale and worried.

"What are you doing here Nicolas, it's already late," Frederick desperately changed the subject.

"What am I to you, father, a livestock? Born and raised to be harvested at the right time? What do you want me to do afterwards? Breed? Produce an heir as soon as possible? How lucky am I to be your son," he yelled.

"I was planning to tell you in the right time," the king replied, shaking while Ferrol froze in place unable to move.

"In time? When is that? When you already left me no choice? When I am unable to say what I wanted? When you refuse to hear what I wanted to say?"

"It's not like that—"

"I trusted you with everything, even if it's not in line with what I want. I believed that you really have brought me there to learn, why didn't I realized your ulterior motif," the prince laughed.

"Listen first Nicolas"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD LISTEN TO ME, FATHER"

His eyes were burning with anger and Frederick was pretty sure it was the same rage that night. Once again, he felt scared for his life. "I just want what's good for you," he tried explaining as he backed away together with Ferrol. He can see the same foreign boy in his eyes he saw that night.

"Deciding about my life without me knowing? You don't know what's good for me, father. You're just doing things that you thought was good for you and you're using me as an excuse. I am not an expendable pawn that you mindlessly feed to your enemy on your game of chess. I respected you, father, and I never thought you could fly this low."

"Listen to me first," Frederick yelled.

"Do I look like someone else to you father? Will you ask me again if I'm Nicolas, let me remind you, everything that you see in me right now is all your fault. Scolding me for almost everything I do be it right or wrong, disregarding my feelings because you're too angry to consider others. Even the drug, you're the one who put Meriane up to it didn't you," Nicolas roared as his eyes started to glow blue, letting out everything he wanted to say. "Where is the good for me in that? All you think about is this Kingdom, have it not crossed your mind that I too have a dream of my own"

Frederick was severely hit by those words, heavily wounding his emotions, guilt, and shame as he backed away further. But these thoughts still bothered him, "There's those eyes again," as he started to grow weary.

"Nicolas? what is happening here?" Queen Natalia squealed, a few steps away from where the prince stood.

Nicolas too was startled, and he's rage dissipated into worry and sorry. He's eyes went back to normal as he scanned everyone, the scared look on everyone's faces registered to him. That's when he realized that he had gone too far.

With everything he said echoing back and forth his mind, and the disappointed look in his mother's eyes pasted together with it, he ran back to his room, locked the door, and placed a chair under the knob before sitting beside the windowsill. The panic that he's trying to suppress had already gone out of control.

Though tears did not come, he felt his chest aching as if it would burst from all the emotions he's feeling. At the same time, his head feels like it will split in two as he reminisced what happened that night with no cuts or forgotten scenes.

It was a painting with blood and agony as the paint. He was the painter and canvas as he watched himself make each stroke come to life, clear and vivid. He paid no attention to the knocks outside. He did not hear any of it. All he heard were the pleads he made to that bearded man, his laughter, and the warning that they'll be back to take him for good.

When the morning came, the King and Queen finally ordered the servants to forcefully open the door, and to their surprise, he was gone. His bed was trashed along with other scattered belongings. His cabinet was open, and they found the passage way he used to escape.

All they found at the table in the middle of the secret room was a piece of paper.

Dear Mother,

I apologize if you needed to see such a thing on your most important day and I'm sorry for leaving without any notice but a letter. It took me years to remember but I can finally answer the question father asked me from years ago. Yes, I can finally remember as bright as the fireworks that night, the color of the blood of the one's I killed. I am neither such a good son nor a person after all.

As for my leave, don't bother looking for me. I will be fine. Things will be better if I leave now, that bearded man will come back for me again and it's better if this Kingdom will be spared from such tragedy.

Worry not because I'll someday return and face you all once again when I'm finished with my quest.

I wrote everything that happened on the other paper down to every detail, I'm sure his majesty will find pleasure of reading it, if he's stomach could bear it of course.

Your loving son,

Nicolas Gregory

Nicolas could only take one final glance at the castle. He can already picture on how much his departure would break his mother's heart, but he also knows that it's for the best, deep down, he wishes he's making the right choice.

Taking a deep breath, he poured his attention towards the memorial of his friends. He kneeled. His hands clasped together as he tried to remember their faces as much as he can.

"I've come to say goodbye. I can remember everything now, but that's also the reason why I'll be leaving Gregoria for the time being. I can now remember what I did…," he called upon his sword.

"This ability, It's quite interesting one but at the same time it's a curse. One that plagues our blood ever since and I have no doubts that it's also the reason why that man came for me. I just know that he'll be back," he stood up.

"So, before that happens, I'll be the one who'll look for him, of course I need to learn more about this thing first. Alisa, Arthur, please guide this lost boy"

He ran his fingers through the map, tracing the path he plans to take while making sure not to touch any of the major cities. Betting his journey through countless wild animal infested forests and treacherous mountain tops to the map he took from the royal library that will him to the other end of the continent.

Optimism kept him exhilarated thanks to the survival skills he was forced to take as a child, not knowing what awaits him, "I should avoid the villages in our territory and pass through the forest here. It will be dangerous but that should take me two weeks to reach the Republic of Matthiola, a journey that would take months if I were to follow the usual route of carriages," he can't help but smile as he finally went pass the abandoned well.

"Isn't this exciting Alisa, there might not be monsters here, but I'll get to go on an adventure like Sasha."