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Fantasha Online

First book I gave published would love for feedback

Botboi · Jogos
Classificações insuficientes
2 Chs

Chapter 1- Start

«Almost everyone has thought of going to a different world. Some people would gladly die if it meant that they would live a fun magic filled life in said new world. But Fantasha Online can be that world, a game that allows you to do almost anything. What will you do?»

Valent loved this ad. He read it everyday before bed and after waking up, waiting for the day for the game to finally release. He pre-ordered the game with the money he saved up from his jobs.

He worked three part-time jobs and lived frugally, worked eighteen hours a day, only taking one day off a week to work out and sleep a little to keep healthy. But he felt that all it would soon pay off.

*Ding Dong*

Once he herd the door bell ring he shot up to open the door. When he opened it up he was greeted by the Destopea tech people who were going to set up his VR capsule.

After a couple of hours of waiting for the set up to finish he lead them out, shut the door and ran back to his room where they set it up. He marveled at the coffin sized box that looked like it could be a cryo chamber. After opening it up the capsule he stepped into it, closed the top and started it up.

A sudden light blinded him, when he could see again he was standing over a battle field of different races battling each other. On one side their was the classic Light races such as Humans, Dwarfs and Light Elves. On the other side their was the classic Evil Races such as Humans, Orcs and Dark Elves.

Then their were some just watching. Valent though that they must be ether scavenging races or a neutral race. They consisted of Lizard men, Gnomes, various Beast races such as, Wolf kin, Fox kin and Bear kin.

Valent marveled at the sight and kept getting more an more excited as he kept watching. He then looked up and saw a giant countdown that was about to reach zero. So he quickly made his character. He chose to make a human character. It looked exactly like him.

His jet black hair, brown eyes. His slim, fit, but not muscular body was covered by a ragged animal hide shirt the you would only see in medieval times. His pants were the same dirty brown as his shirt. He was also wearing simple brown boots.

When the countdown reached zero the space around him warped, when the surrounding finally calmed down he saw people slowly appearing around him. His excitement reached his peak and so he looked around and started off on his adventure.

Thank you to reading.

Would love constrictive Criticism.

If you would like me to list all the different races descriptions and pros and cons tell me and I'll make.

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