Chapter 218. A Pair of Confessions (The Amnesiac)

"You look happy," Jaime mutters, smiling in adoration.

"Yeah, I am," you grin. "Because of you two. I'm really glad I have you."

"Aww..." Jaime puts her hands under her chin and pouts, her eyes sparkling. "I'm so happy that you're happy..."

You glance at Emiru, looking for her reaction. Her face is expressionless as she stares down under the table.

"Emi?" You call, leaning over to see around the tablecloth.

She slowly looks up, hearing her name.

"Huh?" She mutters, her eyes dazed.

"Are you ok?" Jaime slowly asks.

"..."

"..."

Your heartbeat pulses in your chest, fingers, and neck, and you can feel all three in the overwhelming silence wrapped around the room.

Where... did all the sounds go?

I don't even hear Lily anymore. What happened?

"Can you check your phone?" Emi finally mumbles, still staring down at her screen. "I don't know what this means."

"What what means?" Jaime asks, thoroughly creeped out.

You reach into your pocket, still unable to shake off the peculiar sensation of blood coursing through your body.

Come back to the house as soon as you can. We have something we need to tell you.

"Rae texted me."

"Me too," Emi responds. "She asked me to come to your house. It's about you."

"Why?" Your heart pounds. "What happened?" You look at Jaime, seeing her face contort as she reads a similar text.

"I don't know," Jaime mutters. "But it must be bad."

"Stop that. You're not helping," Emi shoots back, glaring at her. "Let's just go and see. Maybe it's nothing..."

...

Your mind feels foggy. Your hands are sweating bullets, but you barely notice. The incessant anxiety looming over you makes every step feel heavier than the last.

Emi reaches for the door, much more composed than you, and opens it.

"..."

Thirteen girls lie inside the living room, some by themselves, some in groups.

Huh? What is this?

The atmosphere is thick with an oppressive sorrow that envelops you the moment you step inside.

The air seems intoxicated with grief and anguish, and you can't ignore the overwhelming feeling that something is very, very wrong.

You step inside, kicking off your shoes without taking your blurry eyes off the sight. The stillness is soul-crushing, and it seeps from every corner of the room, tearing apart the comfort of the space you once called home.

As you blink away the fog, the truth finally dawns upon you.

They're crying.

All of them... are crying.

Aria and Sydney sit in one corner of the room, clutching pillows to their shuddering bodies. Their frightened eyes lock onto you as you take a step inside.

On various couches around the room sit Tina, Leslie, Jodi, and Celine, who all simultaneously sit up straight as you enter, covering their gasps with their hands.

Standing around the room are Miyoung, Imane, Janet, and Brooke, dabbing the corners of their eyes with tissues. Some of them turn away as you walk inside.

Lily, who remains the most stone-faced out of everyone, stares coldly into the ground.

Finally, Rae and Hyoon sit side by side on the loveseat, shoulders inches apart, hands in their laps, motionless.

A few more of them break out into tears as they register your presence. Rae stands up, wiping away a fallen tear to approach you.

"Baby..."

Her voice is faint, but it finally breaks the dreadful silence.

"Is everyone ok?" You ask, gulping.

You look around, counting thirteen girls, then turn around to see Jaime and Emiru, equally bewildered. Jaime taps Jodi on the shoulder and whispers something, but Jodi simply shakes her head in response.

"Have a seat, babe," Rae says, gesturing to the wide-open couch moved to the center of the living room. It was the same comfortable couch you had lounged on for months, yet it had never looked so ominous, lying empty in the middle of the cesspool of your teary-eyed lovers.

Everywhere you look, you catch glimpses of stained cheeks and wrecked expressions, making your chest clamp furiously. You grab Rae's hand, on the verge of letting the familiar black ball building in your mind come dangerously near the surface.

"What's going on? Please tell me, Rae," you beg, squeezing her hand. "I can't keep doing this. I can't keep hearing everyone not tell me things. I can't keep letting you keep things from me..." You plead.

"We're gonna tell you, babe," Rae says, lightly kissing your cheek. "I just need you to sit down for me, ok?"

Your knees buckle, but you manage to land in the chair before you fall. Your lightheadedness turns to nausea.

I don't know... how much longer I can do this...

"Lily?" Rae calls.

Stepping out from where her small figure was sitting, Lily slowly walks up to you, her hands behind her back.

"How'd you get here before us...?" You ask, not really caring for the answer, just hoping to escape the silence.

"Here," Lily says, bringing out her right hand. In it lies the one and only leather-bound book that had escaped your search, exactly as you had remembered it.

Is this... what this is all about?

She extends her hand, offering the thick journal to you.

You stay frozen.

"Should I... read it?" You ask, staring at her hand.

She gently sets it down on your lap. "Later. I can tell you what's in it now."

Her tone is robotic and forced, and you sneak a glance at her, her blank, pale face confirming your intuition.

She practiced this. All these words she's saying... she's practiced.

"I'm going to tell you what it is that brought us all here, ok?" She says, with a warm, breathy tone.

Rehearsed. It's all rehearsed.

But you nod again regardless.

"Are you ready?" She gulps, her voice wavering for a second. "Or do you need to prepare more?" She asks. "If you-"

"Stop. Just tell me."

She squeezes her fist and takes a deep breath.

"..."

"..."

"You have an inoperable brain tumor. It's terminal. You're... dying."

...

Her pen finally stops mid-air, lowering to the page for a moment. "Excellent. Have you ever read Charles Dickens? A Tale of Two Cities, perhaps?"

"I've heard of it, but no. Is that important?" You squint, praying this won't turn into a literature lesson.

She tucks her hair behind her ear, smiling widely. "Oh, it absolutely is. See, that story is about dichotomy. The split between two forces, completely in opposition to each other, yet very similar in nature. I'm sure you've heard the first few words: 'The best of times, the worst of times'?"

You nod in recognition.

She folds her small manicured hands in her lap, contemplating. Her bright red lips flutter as the words form in her mind.

"That is what we embody. Embracing dichotomy. Being two in one."

"You mean, like a-"

"Oh, no, no, nothing so crude!" She scoffs, brushing away your words before you can formulate them. "We're not in an action film, dear. You only get to live one life. But knowing how to split it in half is crucial."

"...split it in half?"

"Yes! Everyone learns at a young age how to split their life into two parts. Usually more than two, in fact. Children act one way at school and a different way at home. Adults act one way with their coworkers, a second way with their friends and family, and a third way with their lover. As long as those worlds don't collide, nothing bad happens."

"And what happens if they collide?"

"Hmm... well, have you ever had the displeasure of introducing a girlfriend or boyfriend of yours to your parents?" She laces her fingers under her chin, amused with herself.

"Can't say I have," you shrug.

"Aw, lucky you! It's quite terrible, you see. Dealing with parents is fine, dealing with a lover is preferable, but having them both in the same room just makes everything worse."

She tugs the collar of her white button-up, reaching in to scratch her neck.

Your fingers drum on your forearm, adding to the cadence your tapping foot started minutes ago. Your eyes dart to your watch, then up to the clock above the woman.

"'The best of times, the worst of times. The age of wisdom, the age of foolishness. The epoch of belief, the epoch of incredulity. The season of light, the season of darkness. The spring of hope, the winter of despair.'" She rattles off the words rapidly and clearly, as if reciting an obvious fact.

"..."

"Master the art of living in dichotomy," she finishes.

Her hands brush down her thin black skirt as she rises from her seat.

"Are we done already?" You ask.

"Oh, yes. There's nothing more I need to see," she dismisses, gathering her belongings. "You're good to go."

"..."

You wisely keep the rest of your thoughts to yourself.

"Oh, there is one more thing, dear," she says, turning around.

"Yes?"

"Do you have a therapist?" Her voice is softer. "A proper one."

"No. I don't need therapy," you curtly reply, sticking your hands in your pockets.

She sports a tired, knowing grin.

"That's what they all say, darling. And they've all been wrong."

...

Your eyes drift down to the book in your lap. You gently run your fingers over its spine, feeling nothing.

Not a single breath or tear flows out of any person in the house. The world comes to a standstill.

"The best of times, the worst of times."

Rae's eyes shoot open, brimming with tears.

"The age of wisdom, the age of foolishness."

The words find their way out through your lips in breathy whispers, but they are not yours.

"The epoch of belief, the epoch of incredulity."

There is no thought, no understanding behind them.

"The season of light, the season of darkness."

The girls stare at you as if you're a ghost, and your paling face begins to resemble one.

"The spring of hope, the winter of despair."

You stare blankly, lost in the fibers of the carpet under your feet.

"...baby..." Rae whispers, placing her quivering hand on your shoulder.

"Hmm?" You look up, blinking.

She gulps. "Did you... hear what Lily said...?"

You turn to see Lily, standing exactly where she was a minute ago, stiff as a rock. Her lips are pressed tightly together, her hands clutched in her sweater pockets.

"...yeah, I heard her. How much time?" Your voice is plain and flat.

Suddenly, you sense that you're suspended above the couch. Your feet no longer make contact with the carpet, and your limbs are numb.

"..."

"How much time do I have?" You repeat.

"Around two years," Lily says, her voice still not wavering from its practiced tone.

Colors seep from the world like a vivid stain being washed away, and with every blink, everything turns a little dimmer.

"Wow. And you never told me?" You ask. "That's a bit mean."

The room turns kaleidoscopic, and every mirror is turned on you.

The girls blink in sheer astonishment, desperately trying to comprehend your behavior.

"Can you at least tell me why?" You ask.

"Um..." Rae says again, her eyes bloodshot. "Are you sure you understand-"

"I understand, Rae. I know what a terminal illness is," you calmly assure her.

She jolts at your calm, collected tone. "But do you... remember?" She pries.

"..."

No. I don't remember anything about a tumor.

You shake your head.

"Maybe it's better that way," you sigh. "I need to use the bathroom. Give me a second."

Brushing yourself off, you slowly stand up and drag yourself to the bathroom, not saying another word.

...

"What the fuck what the fuck whatthefu..." Jaime's face twists into an ugly cry as Lily's words finally get through to her.

"What the fuck!" Emi finishes for her, her booming, raspy voice cutting through everyone's thoughts.

"What ... is this...?" She menacingly whispers. "This is a joke. A stupid fucking joke. I know it is."

"It's not a joke, Emi," Hyoon says, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Tell me, then! Tell me everything! Why didn't I know about this before? If this was in the diary, then what the hell have you been doing this whole time?"

"We'll wait for them to come out, and then Lily will explain everything," Rae quietly voices, staying composed.

"Why are you so calm, huh?!?" Janet bursts, releasing another torrent of tears refueled by Emiru's outburst. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Rae? And you too, Hyoon! Don't you care at all? Do you realize what this means?!?"

"..."

Rae blinks slowly.

"And you brought us here... to do what?" Jodi adds to the unbridled anger of the girls. "To make us watch as they find out their life is going to end in two years? You wanted to make us sit through that horrible news, and then be forced to see them go through it too?!?" She laments.

Rae stares at her feet, softly weeping. She wobbles back and forth, her feet barely keeping her upright.

"Don't blame Rae!" Hyoon exclaims, stepping around. "She only just found out today too. We all did. Other than Lily, Aria, and Sydney, we didn't-"

"Oh, so it was you three!" Poki growls. "How dare you!"

"Tell us why you kept it a secret!" Celine cries, completely bawling.

"Aria, why didn't you say anything when-"

"How are you sure the cancer is-"

"How are we ever going to-"

"STOP!" Hyoon shouts. "Stop yelling at each other. Now."

"What do you want us to do then, Hyoon?" Miyoung clenches her fists by her sides.

"..."

"..."

Hyoon reels at the pure rage pronounced in every glare directed at her.

"I don't know. I don't know what we're supposed to do now. We'll answer all your questions after they come out, but after that, I don't know. It'll be up to them to decide what they want to do, and we'll just have to work with it."

"..."

The tendrils of rage constricting the room slowly loosen. Hyoon's words don't put out a single one of the many fires the news had set aflame, but the girls start to realize that they don't have any other choice but to bear it.

"...all the plans we had..." A muffled voice whispers into her sleeve. "...i can't believe it..."

The bathroom door on the other side of the floor creaks open, and everyone shuts up again.

...

As you swing the bathroom door open, you find your reflection staring back at you curiously. Stepping onto the soft carpet inside, you lean back on the door until it clicks shut.

"..."

"..."

"Is this it?" Your reflection mutters, watching you with scorn.

You stare back at them, focusing in between their eyes.

Your reflection threatens to speak once more, so you lean over the sink and twist the knob as far as it can go.

A few painfully stinging splashes later, the voice stops, and clarity returns.

You step out of the bathroom to the uncomfortable sensation of a dozen hushed, overlapping feminine voices halting all at once.

Your head stays lowered as you walk back into the room and sink into your seat.

...

"How are you feeling?" Rae asks, cupping your cheeks.

"Alright," you nod.

Despite her gorgeous face just inches away, it feels like she's miles out of reach. The fear in her eyes grows every time you speak.

"Do you want me to explain everything that's been going on for the past few weeks?" Lily inquires, her face regaining some color.

She leans in to get a closer look at you. With her face next to Rae's filling up your entire vision, it looks like two goddesses are looking down at you. The thought almost makes you smile.

Lily's still wearing makeup...

"Yeah, sure," you sigh. "Might as well."

I guess it'll answer some questions.

Your words make the girls glance at each other, still trying to grasp what's going on inside your head.

Lily clears her throat and closes her eyes, preparing herself. The rest of the girls finally pull their attention away from every flicker of movement you make to hear what Lily has to say.

"They first wrote about their condition in their diary a few months before the accident," she starts, "when they found it by accident and got it diagnosed. They didn't tell any of us because they wanted to protect us. And that's also why they broke up with many of you. To try and escape all the relationships they'd formed so it would hurt less when they passed."

You lean back in your seat, impressed with her straightforwardness.

So that's it. Hm. That's kind of dumb.

"As to why they didn't break up with Rae, Leslie, Miyoung, or Aria..." Lily glances at each of them in turn. "I'm not sure. They mentioned something about... promises."

You catch a flicker of momentary terror flash across Rae's face. Miyoung's eyes widen into saucers, and Leslie clamps a hand over her mouth. Aria's deadened stare seems even hollower.

Lily glances back at you, checking for any reaction.

You stare back, unmoved.

"Soon after they came back home, Aria found-"

"Lily," Aria's hoarse voice calls out. "I can explain this."

"...ok. If you're sure," Lily responds, gratefully sitting down and escaping the spotlight.

Aria remains sitting while the girls clear out the space around her.

"I took your diary a few days after you came back. I don't know why - I just remembered that they were there and I couldn't resist. So I read through them, and once I got to the last one, I realized everything."

She knew I was sick from the very beginning.

"I didn't know what to do," she says, letting her eyes droop closed. "I wanted to tell you, but I was so terrified. I wanted to check if there were any updates on cures for your condition, so I kept it a secret and started looking."

"...why'd you break up with them?" Rae asks.

Aria's thumbs fiddle with each other in an erratic dance as she gathers her words.

"...because I'm not worthy of being your girlfriend," she speaks, directly to you. "Girlfriends don't hide this stuff, they don't do what I did." Her words are pierced with misery, but the girls around her don't speak a word of comfort.

"At first, everything I found said there was no cure," she continues. "But then I found a website by some doctor who said he had developed an experimental cure for exactly the same kind of tumor. I got in touch, and he said his team had successfully healed some rats with the same condition. He told me that with more funding, he could speed up the trials and get it ready for you in time."

Lily squeezes her eyes shut, the first sign of emotion she's displayed throughout the entire encounter.

Sounds like a scam to me.

"I talked to Lily about it and showed her the diary. She told me... that it was probably a scam."

You exhale sharply.

"But I didn't listen. Sydney read your diary and found out about your condition after your accident, and all three of us agreed that we had to try to get the treatment. So we started saving up money to send to the doctor. We all started streaming a lot more and taking more brand deals whenever we could, just to have more money to send."

You inhale deeply as you turn to look at Lily's incredibly fatigued, droopy eyes.

That's why...

"Everything seemed to be going well. The doctor sent us results every now and then, and it really seemed like the cure was going to work. We were... so happy. It felt like a miracle." Aria sighs.

"...and then...?" Brooke asks.

Your eyes snap toward Brooke as you suddenly realize she's here - the one person you still hadn't gotten the chance to meet again - and her presence jolts you out of your stupor.

It's only been a few weeks since I've come back home... I haven't even properly met everyone.

"He ran away with the money and cut contact. Or they. I don't know how many people were running the scam," Aria says. "We found out earlier today, so I finally fessed up to Rae."

She leans backward until her head lands on the carpet, avoiding every pair of eyes burning through her.

"I'm sorry..." She murmurs.

"When I found out about it," Sydney starts, "It was after you'd read the diary and passed out from it. I was so scared that if we told you about your condition, you wouldn't be able to handle it, and you'd have another traumatic incident. So even if it wasn't for the possibility of a cure, I wouldn't have wanted to tell you right away. That's why I agreed to hide it from you."

With that, all the pieces of the story fall into place.

Aria found the diary, went searching for a cure but stumbled across a scam instead, and had Lily and Sydney help fund their payments. They were afraid to tell me because of what happened right after I got my hands on the diary and passed out from it. And now that the inevitable happened, I finally get to find out about it.

And I... have two years left to live.

Hm.

...

"I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep early today," you mumble.

No one dares to question you as you climb the stairwell, letting your footsteps fall into a soft, tranquil rhythm. You find your way to your bedroom and slip inside, eyeing the comfort of your bed. Its warmth has never felt so appealing, and you gratefully slide under the sheets, sighing as you wrap yourself up.

As soon as you disappear from earshot, the floor beneath you explodes into a chaotic melting pot of rage and denial.

"What made you think you had the right to keep this from them? And from us!"

"Yeah, what if they remembered on their own?"

"How could you have fallen for something so stupid, Aria?"

"How do you know for sure that the tumor is even -"

"Wait, I have more questions!"

"Stop!" Rae finally exerts, standing taller and putting her hands out forcefully. "We can't do this here. Everyone should go home, and we'll talk more tomorrow. I'll stay with them and see what we need to do. Ok?"

"You expect us to just go home after that...?!?" Emi's gaze burns with vivid rage.

"Yes," Rae says, not backing down. "You're all going home. Now. We need to talk a lot more about what this means, but we can't wake them up with our arguing right now."

"Well, what are we supposed to do now?" Tina cries, starting to hyperventilate. "None of us are getting any sleep tonight! They're... they're dying..." She can barely mutter the final words before her entire presence is wracked with a crushing misery, bringing her to her knees in anguish.

Any semblance of denial the girls had worn upon hearing the news was now obliterated, replaced by the haunting realization of the truth.

"I know this is awful, but none of us can think straight right now. Let's wait until tomorrow, and then-"

"Two years!" Jodi bursts, causing the girls around her to back up in fright.

"They have two years left, and you're saying we should wait until tomorrow! How many tomorrows do they have left, huh? What's your fucking problem?" She slaps the couch under her. "This is everything! They... they are everything."

Jodi's tone drops eerily quiet. "You should know that better than anyone, Rae."

"..."

"This must be exactly why they never told us when they were first diagnosed," Lily observes, her quiet, collected voice cutting through the aura of rage. "They didn't want to make us angry and hateful at each other and the world."

"..."

"They just wanted us to be happy. For all the time they had left," she finishes.

"..."

The fuming anger in the room fizzles out. The girls glance upstairs, finally remembering who was at the epicenter of their argument, and although their blazing rage at the injustice of the world stays lit, they keep quiet.

The girls shuffle toward the door, putting on their shoes and coats without another word.

Their thoughts smolder with a million hopes and dreams, all ruthlessly demolished.

...

Aria slowly walks back to her room, her head spinning. She had always known that the conversation was inevitable, but no amount of preparation was enough.

A flesh claw wraps around her elbow, gripping her with a mechanical force.

"Did you think you'd get away with this...?"

The sheer malice emanating from Leslie's tone is nightmarish, and Aria turns her head back, almost in disbelief that such a tone of intense hatred could come from her.

"You hid this from us," Leslie continues. "You knew this whole time, and you didn't say anything."

"Does it even matter anymore?" Aria replies, slipping back into her depressed slump. "Nothing's changed. I just spared all of you for a week longer."

"You didn't have the right to make that choice," Miyoung says, making Aria yelp as she swiftly turns around to find the speaking girl right behind her. Aria attempts to pull her arm away from Leslie, but Leslie doesn't let go, and the two girls surround her in a corner.

"You even bought that cake, didn't you? The 'I Love You' one? I can't believe we ever thought that they broke up with you," Miyoung scoffs, "when you were the one hiding everything."

"I... I did all this for them..." Aria says, sweating under the intense stares of her two roommates. "I just wanted to help..."

...

The gentle hum of the car engine is just loud enough to drown out the sound of Celine's sniffles. Imane taps her on the shoulder and beckons inward, letting Celine lean her head on her shoulder. Imane wraps one arm around her crying friend's upper back, holding them together as she softly weeps into her shirt.

Tina sits in the front passenger seat, her arms crossed. She stares out the window, shivering.

Sydney keeps her eyes on the road, pushing aside her desire to check how the girls are doing.

Having known about the elephant in the room for nearly a week now, her fear and anger are much more tempered, and her smooth driving reflects that.

Her hands are steady and secure on the wheel, and the car decelerates smoothly as she reaches their driveway.

As soon as they come to a full stop, she glances in the mirror, seeing Imane staring back at her, her gaze void of emotion.

At that moment, something snaps inside Sydney. The mental dam holding back all her regrets and fears finally shatters, inundating her with terrifying thoughts. She dashes out of the car, panting as she runs inside.

"Celine...?" Imane softly whispers. "Want me to stay in your room tonight?"

Celine brushes her nose affirmatively against Imane's collarbone.

Tina glances back at the two of them, frowning.

...

"Lily..." Emi mutters, her head down. She crosses her arms in the hallway connecting her bedroom to Lily's.

"Yeah?" Lily weakly replies, one hand on the doorway of her bedroom. Her voice is strained, and she's moments away from passing out.

"You're not getting any fucking sleep tonight until you tell me everything you know," Emi coldly says, finally looking up.

Lily sighs slowly, devoid of the energy to offer any response.

"..."

She glances at her bed longingly.

"Lily. I said... you're not sleeping tonight until you answer my questions."

"But Rae said... we should wait until tomorrow," she resists.

"Fuck that. You're telling us everything, now," Jaime says, her torment now fully transformed to seething wrath.

Their words scorch Lily, forcing her to clench back tears.

"...ok..."

...

Jodi's fists clench and unclench as an invisible storm continues to brew dangerously within her.

Janet stares at her phone, scrolling mindlessly between different social media apps, her neutral frown never leaving her face.

Brooke stares down at her shaking hands, unsure of everything.

The three of them sit as far away from each other as they can in the back seat of the cramped car.

Their Uber driver glances in the rearview mirror a few more times than usual, picking up on the fear-inducing ambience.

"You girls have a fight or somethin'?" He asks.

He clamps shut as three pairs of irate eyes dart in his direction.

...

Rae rocks back and forth on her heels and butt, curled into a tight ball with her arms wrapped around her knees and her chin tucked to her chest.

"I'm such a bad girlfriend. I'm such a bad girlfriend, Hyoon, I-"

"Rae!" Hyoon whispers, putting a hand on her arm. She digs her fingers between Rae's arms, pulling them away from her body. "You're not a bad girlfriend."

"I can't... believe that..." She finally lifts her head up, revealing the fresh droplets slowly tracing down the beaten path of her dried tears.

"Hey, let's go somewhere else. It's not good for us to stay here," Hyoon softly suggests, glancing at the mess of couches and pillows that were all occupied just a few minutes ago. She can still hear the echoes of the anguished wails that had erupted in this room.

"You're so calm..." Rae mumbles as Hyoon pulls her up.

"Someone has to be," Hyoon mutters under her breath.

Rae finally manages to stand, and they walk together to the kitchen, where Hyoon sits down and examines her.

"Did we make the right choice, Hyoon? Do you really think it was a good idea to tell them?" Rae sobs, throwing her arms around Hyoon and tugging her in for a hug.

"Shh..." Hyoon mutters, delicately brushing Rae's hair behind her head.

"Hyoon, I can't just calm down! They're going to spend months thinking that-"

"SHH!" Hyoon places a finger on Rae's lips, but it does little good.

"Hyoon, what am I going to do? How can I look them in the eye anymore? I think I get why Aria broke up with them now, it's just too much to - MMPH!"

Rae's eyes gape and a gasp slips from the corners of her parted lips as she feels a soft pressure against them. Hyoon pushes a little further forward, letting her tongue slightly drift across Rae's bottom lip. Rae's eyes flutter closed for a second as Hyoon's aura completely absorbs her presence. But they instantly spring open again, and she abruptly jerks her head backward.

"Hyoon?!?" She gasps.

Hyoon draws back, as collected as ever.

"Feel better?" She asks, placing a hand under Rae's chin.

"...isn't this... cheating?" Rae mumbles.

"You should really listen to yourself, Rae," Hyoon chuckles. "Besides, I just did it to keep you quiet."

"...right. Sorry," Rae apologizes.

"It's okay. I think you should go be with them for as long as they need you, and I'll keep working for now."

Rae nods, her mind still struggling to function at full capacity.

Hyoon leans in until her lips nearly touch Rae's ear.

"We have a lot to do," Hyoon whispers. "I know it's hard, but stay strong, okay?"

Rae nods stiffly.

"I'll get going now, ok? Call me if you need anything."

"Bye, Hyoon." Rae manages a small smile.

She exits the room with a small, reassuring wave.

As the echo of the front door's jingle fades into silence, Rae delicately lifts her hand to her lips, gently pressing two fingers to the soft, tingling surface.

...

Upon opening your eyes, the pre-dawn darkness envelops you, assuring you of the several hours remaining until the sun shows itself. The heat of your bedroom is more intense than usual.

As your eyes adjust to the darkness, a soft shuffle from an unusual direction turns your head.

Miyoung?

Her small body is cuddled up between you and Rae, fitting snugly like a child between parents. She's lying on top of the blanket you and Rae share, with her own blanket wrapped on top of her.

Leslie?

She's lying at the foot of your bed under Miyoung's blanket, her mouth half agape. Her arm is draped over your feet, and her legs hang over Rae's.

You steadily sit up, retracting your arms and legs.

...aria?

You finally notice Aria on the other side of the bed, behind Rae, and nearly out of view. Somehow the three of them had found comfortable spots on the bed.

A warm, unbidden tear suddenly strokes your cheek. Your hand brushes across your face, erasing the evidence.

Huh...?

As you survey the room once more, it all comes back to you.

Right. I'm dying.

Almost forgot.

You swing your legs over the edge of the bed and hop out, careful not to disturb anyone.

Tiptoeing to the door, you gently pull it open, wincing as it creaks. Not looking back once, you step out and descend the stairs. Your feet move on their own, expertly dodging the creaky spots.

The walls seem to hold their breath. The muffled sound of your bare feet on each wooden plank resonates into the deepest, darkest corners of the house, making your home seem far bigger than it ever had.

What do I do now?

The subdued glow of the streetlights streaming through the front window draws you closer.

The next few moments pass in a blur, and your senses only return to you once your hand grips the doorknob and twists it open, exposing your skin to the elements of the outdoors.

That's nice...

The cool breeze hits you as you descend the porch stairs, and the streetlights cast long, skinny shadows on the sidewalk under your bare feet.

Every rustle of leaves and rumble of a distant car engine registers in your heightened awareness. You close your eyes for a moment, breathing in the symphony of the world.

As you make your way through the quiet neighborhood, another tear finally falls loose.

By the time you wash it away, yet another has followed.

No... don't do this.

Your feet continue carrying you onward while your eyelids wage a losing war against fear. You break into a run, but your pounding skull stays attached to your pumping legs.

Is this really happening?

Am I...

You grab your head, fighting the pressure on your skull, but it's no use.

The anxiety coursing through you doesn't relent, and your feet continue stumbling forward in every direction. The world around you is a blur of colors and sounds, swirling together in a dizzying vortex of emotion, and your sense of balance is soon swept up in the confusion. Every second feels like minutes.

I need... I need to... oh...

"Hey! Are you ok?!?"

It takes a few moments to realize you're staring up at the night sky, only kept above ground by a pair of small arms hastily wrapped around your back. Your crossed eyes slowly come to focus on the wired glasses and pretty features of the face partially visible above you.

"Lily..." You mutter.

You reach forward, clawing at the air. She slowly tilts you back up until you can get your feet under you.

"What are you doing over here? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?!?" She gasps.

You turn around, finally noting where you'd ended up.

"Come on, come inside!" Lily sharply nudges you toward the door. "It's freezing out here."

...

You close your eyes, sinking into the embrace of the warm towel draped over your neck and shoulders.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Lily asks, picking your chin up. "Why were you outside our house?"

"I don't know..." You mutter. "I stepped out and somehow ended up here."

She sighs, unnerved. "Well, it's a good thing I wasn't sleeping. I saw you through my window and came out just in time to catch you."

"..."

"Were you crying?" She asks. Your heart lurches as she leans in, her thumb grazing over your cheek to detect the remnants of your tears.

"Yeah, a little," you respond, hesitating as her enlarged, captivating eyes hold your attention.

"..."

"..."

"I'm sorry I lied to you," she says, gripping the sleeves of your shirt. "I'm so sorry..."

She bites her lower lip in shame.

"Lily, I'm not mad at you. If anything, this means you won't have to work yourself to death with sponsored streams anymore, right? You can finally relax and get some rest," you reason.

"Why, you-!" She charges up, nostrils flaring as she squeezes your arms too tightly. "What is wrong with you?!?"

Before you can answer, she turns away, shaking her head.

You giggle, always amused by her irritation.

"What?" You finally ask. "Am I wrong about that?"

"You're fucking weird. That's what's wrong," she sighs, crossing her arms.

"Hey, you're pretty weird too," you grin, your spirits suddenly lifted. "I know it's been a while since you found out the news, but you're taking it really well. And you helped everyone understand, including me."

"You're... well, you're really brave," you confess, sincerity coloring your words.

Her smile quickly sours into a grimace.

Your gaze lingers on her, paying close attention to the various emotions that strike her expressive face.

She mumbles something under her breath, her eyes never leaving the floor.

"What was that?" You whisper.

"...you're the one who's dying, and you're calling me brave?" She mutters again.

Your eyes prickle with tears as she utters the unthinkable word. It still feels hollow, like a concept whose meaning is completely out of reach.

You surround her in your arms. She gladly leans into it, gratefully slipping her arms around you and squeezing you tightly.

"You did all that for me," you whisper, speaking so softly that you can feel her heartbeat thumping against your ribcage. "Even though you knew it was probably a scam, you sacrificed so much to try it. Thank you..."

The scent of her hair wafts into your nose. Her glasses press against your shirt as she nuzzles into your chest, and you pray that she can't feel how fast your heart is racing.

"Don't thank me," she replies. "No amount of money is worth your life. If I could trade places with you..."

"Lily!" You gasp. "Don't say that."

"But I mean it," she murmurs, her quivering voice on the cusp of breaking.

"..."

"..."

"Because I love you."

You give her a gentle squeeze. "I love you too, Lily."

Her latched hands grow taut as she buries her head into you. You squeeze her back, but her grasp keeps getting stronger, constricting around you until you're nearly suffocating.

"Lily!" You wheeze. "H-hey, ease up a little-"

"I love you," she mutters in a low tone.

"...huh?"

Her arms loosen around you as she finally breaks down.

"I can't... do this any longer!" She wails, muffling herself in your shirt as she becomes a heaving, sobbing mess. "I'm not ready for this!" She cries between gasps for air. "I'm not strong, I'm not brave. I'm just so fucking scared - sniffle - of losing you..."

The rush of adrenaline flooding her finally forces out all the words she's thought about saying a million times.

"I can't do this without you. I can't live without you," she nearly howls from the pure emotional agony of finally releasing herself, and it wracks you with terror.

"..."

"I tried so hard to be your best friend," she confesses, her words singed with desperation as she unloads everything pressing at the seams of her mind.

"I knew what you were going through, having all those girlfriends to take care of. You needed a friend who you didn't have that commitment to, someone you could talk to. I wanted to be that person." She charges through the tears, squeezing you.

"But I couldn't. Even now, I can't. I want to be strong for you, I want to help you cry and deal with your emotions and I just can't... because I love you so fucking much." She's completely broken down, but the words flow out of her unrelentingly.

"..."

"I tried talking myself out of it so many times, and every single time I thought it worked, you'd say one of your dumb, immature jokes or show me your stupid, pretty smile, and I... I'd realize how much I still wanted you. I'd remember how much I still loved you. I'll always love you."

"..."

"..."

She remains perfectly still in your grip as a teardrop lands squarely on top of her head. Every fiber of her frame is tense, her breath completely gone.

Oh... my...

Even if she could see your face, she wouldn't comprehend the look of pure recognition as the emotions bundled into forgotten memories flood back into your heart.

"Lily..." You finally mutter. "Y-you feel that way too?"

"I- wait, h-huh?" She finally exhales.

"Listen, Lily. You are brave. Maybe you don't see it yet, but you are. And I... I have something I have to do now," you mutter. "Please don't hate me, okay?"

"W-what are you-"

You pull her arms up to wrap them around your neck. With one hand under her chin, you tilt her head up, getting to see her look of sheer surprise the moment before your lips touch.

You kiss her deeply, tasting the salt of her tears.

Her trembling hands haphazardly push you away, gasping, and your lips disconnect just as quickly as they contacted. Her soft eyes desperately scan over yours, reading your mind in the way only she knew how to do.

"N-no..." She mumbles. "You mean..."

"...yeah... I do..." You nod.

Whether it was you or her who initiated it the second time, you'll never know.

But the feeling of her heavenly lips on yours, satisfying a desire you never realized was buried in the deepest recesses of your mind, is euphoric.

The two of you get lost in the intensity of each other's presence. Her fingers dig into the back of your neck, pulling your bodies flat together.

Her skin aches for you, and every touch reminds her of the endless desire she'd pushed down for years.

You place your hand on her hip and gently slide it down. She gasps and freezes, letting you finally pull your lips away for a moment of respite.

She stares at you with utter longing, waiting impatiently to lean in again. Her intense gaze makes your body flutter with a giddy delight, and as your fingers reach the hem of her pajama pants, she glances up.

You take her by the hand and silently lead her up the stairs. She stares down at your laced fingers as she follows, still trying to determine if she's hallucinating.

You finally get to her bedroom, where you lock the door behind her and step toward her again, her eyes pleading for you to continue what you started.

She stands on her toes as you lean in. This time, the kiss is more urgent, more powerful, as you both finally acknowledge that you've been waiting for this moment for years.

Her fingers fiddle with her pajama top until it flies off of her, and she reaches for your shirt, yanking it up and off your shoulders. Her hands explore your toned arms and chest, squeezing your sculpted figure. You finally reach into her pants and pull down the stretchy fabric, making her gasp and close her legs on instinct.

"...are you sure this is ok?" She pants.

"...I want you, Lily," you whisper, glancing at her gorgeous, petite body and slender thighs. "I want you so badly."

"..."

"..."

"No, I want you more," she giggles, resurrecting the endearing, annoying side of her that you'd fallen in love with all the same.

"Shut up and take it off," you laugh.

She finishes stripping down her pants and unclasping her bra. She crawls onto the bed, unintentionally getting you to stare, slack-jawed, at her pristine body.

Every other girl I've been with is someone I've seen nude before. Even if I didn't remember it, it felt familiar.

This, however...

It's exhilarating, and in an instant, you're sitting on the bed, letting her crawl closer to you as she tries not to stare.

Her lips look delicious, and the vivid image of her wrapping them around your cock immediately springs up your erection, making Lily go bug-eyed for a moment.

But the residual tension of your history still lingers between you two, and you know that you have a much deeper, personal barrier to demolish.

So you crawl forward as she lies on her back, spreading her legs around you. Her skin is unbelievably soft on your fingers as you sensually rub her thighs, warming her up.

Your cock graces the outer layers of her pink folds, sending her into a wave of tense convulsions.

"Sh-sh-shit," she groans, her nipples hardened and her hands squeezing the sheets. "I haven't done this in a while..."

You lean over her to let her grasp your lips again, hoping to loosen her up a bit more. You grip both of her breasts in your palms, making her moan into your lips. Your erection throbs at the sound, and you squeeze her breasts again, eliciting more.

Her hand slides down your chest to your cock and hesitantly strokes it. Her soft, nimble fingers feel incredible, and you soon exchange groans of delight.

"Put it in..." She pleads. "It's been so long... since I first dreamed... about this..."

Her words continue to reach into the locked parts of your mind and pull out heaps of memories, but you focus on aligning yourself and giving both of you what you need.

As the tip pushes her wet lips apart, her jaw hangs open, and her gaze softens into pure bliss. You continue pushing, barely resisting the urge to speed things up with such an incredible body lying in front of you, belonging to an equally incredible woman.

"I love you..." You mutter, leaning forward again as you push in further.

She gets even tighter as you explore her cavern deeper, yet the feeling of her repeating those magical words is the greatest sensation of all.

"I love you too..."

Her hands cup your cheeks, holding your faces steady, while her hips brace your waist.

Her lips purse as you finally hilt inside of her, sending ripples through her body.

She sighs, finally relaxing under you. Initiating another set of kisses, she quickly kicks it up a notch, making it steamier than before.

You pull out, lifting your hips all the way until your tip is barely inside, then push again, groaning at how her slick walls expand to fit you.

"AH~!" She yelps as an orgasm suddenly rips through her.

Her hands grab your face, holding you as her body quivers and squirms. She mutters quiet prayers of gratitude to you, swelling your heart.

"Sh-shit, don't stop now," she cries out. "Keep going~"

You start gently pushing in and out with more confidence. She gets back into the rhythm, her mind still cooling from the heat of the unexpectedly quick orgasm.

Your hands reach around her to her lower back and butt, and you gleefully squeeze her flesh.

"You look so good beneath me, Lily," you say, a tingly feeling surrounding you as you say her name.

Your thrusts grow in power, slowly enveloping the two of you in the bounce of your hips on the bed. Her back arches with each pulse, bending her small frame. The bed begins to creak under you.

"And y-you look so good on top~" She groans. "Touch me, more~!"

You tilt your head to the side to suck on Lily's slender neck, and her hips rock forward in reply.

You run your hands up her back, holding her to you. She's hot and trembling, and each thrust adds to the friction between your rubbing bodies.

Her pussy tightens around you again, signaling that another eruption is incoming. You reach down for her clit, rubbing it in small circles.

"Ah~! P-please! YES!" She beseeches.

Her writhing gets louder, and if you had any sense of the outside world, you might be worried that someone in the house would hear.

But right now, it's just you and Lily, and every thought leaves your head as her dainty feet wrap around you. You move your left hand to her waist, holding her down to deliver your thrusts even faster.

"Tell me what you want," you say, spreading her legs wider to expose more of her throbbing core.

"Fuck!" She yells, her body shaking as she clamps onto your cock. "I want t-to cum! Make me~ AHH~"

The sound of her orgasmic screams is infectious, and your hips thrust even harder to match.

She bucks her hips up to meet yours, your groans merging into a harmony of lust. She reaches her hands back to your lower back, pushing you in even deeper.

"Ah! OH! F-fuck, please don't stop~~" She pleads, already past her orgasm and looking for another. Her voice only makes you harder, and her beautiful arched back, pushing her small yet perky breasts into your face drives you towards your own climax.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum soon..." You say, surprising yourself. "You're so good at this..."

She's nearly delirious from the overload of delight. Every semblance of friendship or romance the two of you had ever had disappears in this moment as your intertwined bodies curl up in anticipation, heaving against each other in a mad dash to get each other to the finish line.

Her muffled screams vibrate your body as you feel her pussy ripple around you.

"D-don't stop! It-it's so fucking good! I'm gonna-"

"Not yet!" You command. "Wait for me."

Too lustful to oblige, one hand reaches forward to tug your face to her while her other hand reaches down to her clit, fingering herself.

You feel her force her walls together, squeezing your cock as tightly as she could.

"F-fuck..." You moan, fighting the urge to cum right up inside of her.

"Are you safe?" You ask at the last possible instant.

Your orgasm washes over you, and you thrust your hips with all of your might, gasping.

"HNNNGH~!" She moans louder than before, her body shaking in your arms.

Her legs squeeze tighter around you, her pussy milking you for all you have to give. Her hand pulls your head towards her while her hips keep you buried inside of her.

"Yesss~!" She pants, trying to catch her breath.

...

You lay down on her chest, tingling all over. The pounding pace of Lily's heart in your ear gradually descends, and your breathing follows suit. She gently strokes your head, resting her arms on your back.

You pick your chin up to look at her. She looks down, noticing.

The one fact you'd believed all along is finally proven true as you slowly pull out of her, your cum dripping from her overflowing pussy, and scoot up to kiss her.

It's delicate, sweet, and lazy, like a prolonged goodnight kiss between two lovers.

"I'm so fucking in love with you," she mumbles, echoing your thoughts precisely.

"...we should get some rest," she continues. "It's almost morning."

"Can I stay here?" You ask.

She nods. "I really hope no one finds out..."

...

Your eyes drift over to the figure beside you, lying on her side.

Your heart beams with memories of last night. You roll over to get next to her and gently place your hand on her hip.

How is she so sexy? I've always known that she's attractive, but... wow...

Your hand slides down her curves, gently squeezing her ass before moving up to her boobs.

A soft moan escapes her lips, followed by a more innocent yawn.

"Huh!?!" She gasps. Her eyes flash with recollection, and after a moment, she settles back down, no longer wondering why your hands are playing with her boobs.

"Morning," you greet.

"Good morning..." She sighs, stretching her hands.

A stupidly wide smile stays plastered on your face as you watch her wake up.

Imagine waking up to this every day...

One of her stretching arms very conspicuously grabs your cock through the blanket, and she giggles as she fondles it.

"If you get to play with me, I'll play with you too!" She huffs.

"You won't see me complaining about that," you chuckle.

You grin, waiting for her cheesy retort.

"Good," she quietly answers instead.

Her hand continues groping your hardening cock through the sheets, exciting you.

She glances back up at you. Her look instantly sets your heart ablaze, and she bites back a smile as she notices.

"I guess we're not really best friends anymore, huh?" You needlessly ask.

She lifts the blanket, revealing your erect cock.

"You tell me," she slyly utters.

The confusion at seeing her slipping under the blanket is the last coherent thought to reach your head.

"L-Lily?! What the-!" You groan.

You put your hand over the round, vertically bobbing shape hidden under the mattress.

"That's a definite no..." You moan as her lips reach the base of your cock, her nose pressing into your navel. She pulls back for air, then continues her rapid motions, swallowing you down her throat.

"Where the fuck did you learn how to do that..." You lie down, unable to move.

"Girls' nights," she giggles around your shaft. "I practiced."

"Shit, you better invite me to the next one. I'll be the dildo."

She tries not to choke as she laughs, humming massaging vibrations through your body.

Her blowjob feels better than anything your imagination could conjure, adding to your already sky-high mood.

...

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck~!" She squeaks out another profane word with each thrust.

She's lying flat on her stomach, only picking her head up to look back at you, while you pound her pussy from behind.

"I always knew you had an ass," you mutter, squeezing both of her cheeks, deeply red from your spanking.

"What does that mean?!" She cries out, offended.

You chuckle. "It's not like you show this thing off much," you continue, giving her another slap and holding back your drool at how it ripples. "But you could. Shit, I'd be all over you if you showed off a little."

"You are all over me," she retorts, turning back to hide her blush.

You slam your hips again, taking even more delight in how her body looks taking it than the feeling of her wrapped around you.

She bites her lip and resumes pretending that she isn't adoring the attention. Struggling to bite back her moans every time you spank her without warning, she finally lets one slip.

"~ahhh~ OH!" She clamps up too late.

"Oh, now you're really in for it," you chuckle. "You're not gonna be sitting straight for a month."

"Oh, please..." She rolls her eyes.

...

"Cum, cum on my tongue..." She groans, sticking it out. She sits on her knees, shaking from her orgasms, now only focused on yours. Her hand ferociously jerks you off at light speed.

"Beg for it," you demand.

"Are you serious?!" She scoffs.

"..."

"Please, please cum on my tongue..." She coos, her lust making the choice for her. "Put all your cum in my mouth... I'm begging you... Please..."

You throw your head back and release, letting her direct your cannon where she desperately craved it.

The ecstasy blurs your senses as every ounce of tension escapes through your orgasm. She groans in muted delight as ropes of cum shoot on and around her mouth.

You finally slump down, exhausted.

"Happy?" She whines.

"Oh, yes," you grin. "Not as happy as you, though." You reach forward to gather some of your cum from her cheek on your index finger.

"Excuse me! Why would-"

You put your finger in her mouth, pressing the cum down on her tongue. Her lips pucker around your finger, licking it clean as you slowly remove it.

"Yeah, I'm right," you smirk.

...

"Lily?"

"Hmm?" She places a kiss on your neck, teasing the sensitive spot she'd already left a hickey on.

"Why are you so... bold?"

"...huh?" She pulls away, hanging her head a few inches above yours. You brush her tickling hair over her ear, making her blush again.

"I know that we've made our feelings clear, but I thought that you'd be hesitant to do all this, or at least a bit uncomfortable. But you're just... carefree. You don't seem unsure about anything."

"You're right," she says, wrapping her arms around you as the midday sun shines through her curtain.

"If everything was different, I wouldn't have had sex with you last night. I would've asked to talk about everything first to see what this means for our relationship. I would've wanted to make sure we're on the same page before we do anything we might regret."

"...if everything was different?" You whisper.

"If you... weren't..."

She chokes silent.

"..."

You slowly fall from the heavens, crash-landing back in reality.

"If you only have a few years left," she says, powering through the traumatic words, "I'm not wasting another second of it being shy or uncertain. I love you. And I'm not going to hold myself back anymore. In our sex, in our love, in anything. I'm not going to regret a single moment with you."

Her words are poignantly bittersweet.

She's already accepted that I'm going to die.

Have I?

Her kind, ravishing eyes bring a sense of order and calm to the sparks of despair threatening to ruin you.

You lean in for another kiss; not one of romance or passion, but a cry for help.

Cradling your jaw and caressing you with a gentle kiss, she unknowingly starts to unravel the strangling threads of helplessness threatening to choke you.

While you're fully aware that it won't last long, every fleeting second of her kiss keeps the world cloaked in an ethereal perfection.

In this moment, you don't want it any other way.