Do You Blame Me?

Cecily approached me and greeted despite the other people trying to stay away from us. Unlike most of the people, she seemed glad of finding someone.

"Hey, how have you been?"

"Hello Spencer, I'm fine, I'm learning some administrative work with Dr. Harting… sorry to ask but I have heard a lot of things right now, it's the invasion true?"

"To be honest we don't have a visual confirmation yet, but everything tells me that it's true."

She was scared, she probably remembers the escape from the clinic and how dangerous it was.

"Can I stay here? I don't know many people and don't want to be alone…"

"I probably will have to leave soon, but I have no problem with you staying here."

"Thanks!"

She went to my group and recognized some of them, mainly Emma who was also someone we rescued from the NDR. Cecily joined and started to talk with Isabella whom she also met when she was at the hospital.

Cecily wasn't the only face that I recognized in the gym, there were people I have seen on the streets, working around the clinic and some people from the meetings I had with Dr. Harting.

Hayley's friends were in between the crowd and tried to come to greet me when they noticed, but when they saw the snake, they stopped moving and stood in between the crowd. The explanation that I gave about Cai-Cai and Cecily calmness when she came to talk to me was enough to convince them to say hi anyway.

Hannah had changed a lot, she used to be Hayley's Nerd friend back at school. In the last year she made an extreme makeover, she had a dark eyeliner, changed her hair color to a dark blue and instead of the ponytail that she used to like, her hair was free and wild, well the last part might be because she didn't get the time to comb it because of the evacuation.

When I was together with Hayley, Hannah was probably the one that I talked the most of her friends, because of that, I know that her father and mother worked at the clinic, her dad was a paramedic, and her mom was an accountant.

I'm not sure what Megan parents do, but I suppose that they are important and it was because of them that she and Hanna are here.

"Hey girls, long time no see Hannah."

Hannah was apparently a little shy and uncomfortable, even if she changed her looks deep down she is still the self-conscious nerdy girl that I use to know.

"Hi Spence, actually we both saw you in the evacuation from the clinic."

"I know, but we didn't even talk at the time, so it doesn't count."

"Hey yesterday we just greet each other, that doesn't count either right?"

"Okay, okay, after this is over both of you are invited to come to dinner if you want."

They looked around the group looking for Hayley. They couldn't find her when we arrive, but they thought that she might have been out of sight because of the amount of stuff that we were carrying.

"She is not here."

Hannah was a little dejected because of it, she probably wanted to apologize as Megan did. Megan looked around and noticed that Hayley's dad was with us, so she found it weird.

"Her father is here, and they don't split families in different refuges right?"

"She is with Gerhard and Hope in the hunting teams HQ or moving around helping."

"Hunting teams? Really?"

"Yup she didn't tell you the other day?"

"Hayley mentioned that she needed to get going to the HQ, but I thought that she was going to meet with you there or something I didn't think that she was a part of them."

"Wow… the hunting teams are like the new army right? Too bad, I wanted to talk to her."

The guilt could be clearly be seen in their eyes as they didn't find what to say.

"You know that you have to stop blaming yourselves for what happened right? Hayley is fine now, and just wants to forget that day."

Hannah looked at the floor. I knew that she was still blaming himself for what happened. Megan was the one that answered me this time.

"We know but it's difficult, you wouldn't understand you are not the one that failed to her."

"No, but it's not for you that you need to let it go, it's for Hayley, she needs her friends back. And as long as you keep blaming yourself that is going to keep you apart, so after you apologize and she accepts it let it go and talk about… whatever girls like to talk about."

They gave me a wry smile and nodded. Sometimes even if something is obvious to everyone, some things needed to be heard from someone else, that the moment when they make sense.

Okay, now they all seem a little depressed, and that is even worst that guilt.

"Cai-Cai come here."

As soon as I called, she left Rose's pocket and came to me in her small form.

More than a snake she looks almost like a long worm. This seemed to wake up the girls of their stupor and focus her gazes on the little snake. They seemed a little reluctant, but I encouraged them.

"Come here, she doesn't bite…"

Hannah got near and extender her finger, to caress her scales. Megan was watching from the side and focused on the reaction of the little snake.

Cai-Cai liked to be spoiled, something that she discovered because of Dana who hugged and played with her all the time. I'm sure that if snakes could purr she would be doing it right now.

I wanted to make some chit chat before leaving and made a huge mistake.

"Are you here with your families?"

Both made complex faces when I asked.

"Sorry I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's ok, it's just difficult to talk about it."

Hannah was the one that started. Apparently when everything happened her father was at his work in the clinic, so she was alone at home with her mother. After the meteor shower, they left the house to go to the clinic, in their way, they were attacked by a beast, her mother acted as bait and sacrificed herself to give Hannah the opportunity to escape.

Shaken and scared by her mother's death she moved to the clinic, on the way she found some people going to the clinic and tagged along. When she arrived at the clinic, it was in chaos, but she managed to find his dad and stay there with him until the first invasion happened and they had to move here.

Megan story made me feel guilty right away. She luckily still has her mother who right now is working in providing food to the different refuges, she was assigned there when they came here.

Her dad was a different story, I never met Megan's Dad, so I had no idea how he looked but he was alive a week ago, and his current situation was unknown… probably dead.

After a car accident two months ago he lost the mobility of his legs, he was always angry and a little violent since then. She was hopeful that with time he can recover … but after the invasion the situation became dire, and her father's attitude became even worse.

When the time for the evacuation came, his situation left him in the second floor for a commission to decide if he was coming with them or not. Hannah said that she already knew what was going to happen before the commission arrived. The grumpy man didn't let the commission check his case and not even his name was stated when they arrive for the checkup, the commission not knowing anything about his case decided to leave him behind…

I remembered the guy right away…

And understood that in some way I was one of the people that took Megan's dad from her. Does she know that it was me the one that decided to left him there to die?

As I heard her story, cold mind helped me keep my emotions in check.

If I knew that he was Megan's father would I have acted differently?

Probably I would have tried to check him at least… I would have done the checkup and achieve a decision accordingly, but what weighed on my mind was that we didn't even take our time to check if he could come or not. Aura view might have been enough, but I didn't use it either.

"Do you blame me?"

Megan's gazed fell on my eyes for a second trying to understand what I was talking about…

She didn't know.

She thought about the meaning behind my words for a second before her emotions fell into chaos.