Useless

'How? How did Felix get three cores? Did he fight against three Beasts? In one hour? And he won?' Stell's thoughts turned chaotic.

The pride that was deeply etched into him by modern society refused to accept defeat. It refused to accept that overwhelming difference, the unbridgeable gap.

He didn't care about Damian. Damian was a person he knew nothing about, after all.

However, Felix was different. Felix spent almost every moment in the new world with Stell. That was why Felix showing three cores to Stell just broke him.

With unwilling eyes, Stell asked Felix pleadingly. "Did you find them somehow? What happened?"

He refused to accept the overwhelming difference between his friend and him. The difference between the S-class protagonist and a normal human like him.

"Oh yeah." Felix chuckled, slightly scratching his head. "After I killed a weird deer and a turtle, some strange bird appeared. Luckily, I was able to fight in the air and managed to defeat it. It carried an interesting item. Do you want to see it?"

'A weird deer? Did he just say a weird deer?' Stell felt his heart turning cold as his emotions overwhelmed him.

'Also, a turtle? Doesn't that turtle have the same powers as me?' He didn't even consider other possibilities, solely judging facts based on his own logic.

He realized it. He was inferior. He was worse. He was nothing compared to the real protagonists. Felix even found some kind of treasure.

'It must be a treasure.' He didn't even doubt Felix's luck. Laughing, he lifted and covered his face, barely suppressing the tears from falling down.

Felix noticed Stell's weird reaction. Just as he wanted to ask what happened, he felt something deep inside stopping him.

It was his intuition. Since he knew about himself, Felix was born with an intriguing intuition. The intuition allowed him to make the right decisions at critical moments.

For some reason, since he arrived in that world, his intuition appeared more frequently. At that moment, he felt a strong feeling of rejection.

He felt that he might regret asking Stell. Maybe even addressing Stell might bring unwanted outcomes.

With a sad look, Felix quietly watched Stell laughing. After some time, Stell wiped the corners of his eyes as he dropped his head, looking at Felix's shoes.

It was the first time he properly observed Felix's shoes. They were simple blue-colored sneakers with a yellow stripe.

"Let's go." Stell turned around, not bothering with Felix. He stopped caring whether Felix would follow him. 'Maybe... It's better if he doesn't.'

Felix followed Stell quietly, not uttering a word. His deep gaze followed Stell's back as his smile disappeared.

Stell was trying to control the raging tides of negative emotions, hoping to find balance. He knew that he wasn't in the right mental state.

After all that hard work, he had a mediocre result at best. Felix, on the other hand, in his eyes at least, didn't work hard at all but had extraordinary results.

His envy overwhelmed him as he controlled himself, trying not to look at Felix. Trying not to lash out at him.

He read so many books and articles, challenged himself, and even overcame his fear... What for? What did he gain from that? Disappointment?

As his negative thoughts overwhelmed him, Stell and Felix reached the city gates.

Without turning, Stell quietly said, almost whispering. "I'll go to the alchemy library. You do whatever you want."

Without even waiting for Felix's answer, Stell walked in the direction of the Alchemy Association.

Felix felt like crying. With a tired expression, he wandered aimlessly.

Once Stell reached the alchemy association, he didn't even greet the receptionist or look around the first floor's shop as he climbed the stairs and picked a book about elements.

He wanted to research as much as possible. He didn't want to lose. He refused to believe that he was that inferior!

And yet, no matter how much he tried to concentrate on reading, his mind wandered.

***

"Stell!" A woman in her thirties yelled in frustration. She held a pan and wore an apron.

"What?" Stell yelled back with an annoyed tone, holding a book in his hands.

"Can you come down and help me, for God's sake?!" Her frustrated and domineering voice echoed in the house. "You never do anything useful! Just read, read, and read?! Can't you live in the real world?!"

"I am living in the real world!" He yelled back, frustrated at his mother's words. "What do you want me to do?"

"To stop with your hallucinations! Stop envying other people and live your own life!" Stell guessed that his mother probably broke something from her voice.

With a heavy tone, he started losing control of his emotions. "Hallucination?! What hallucination? Did I ever do something wrong? Why are you yelling at me all the time?!"

"Because you are useless! All you do is eat, shit, read, and sleep! At least try earning money for your sister!" His mother almost started screaming, her dissatisfaction overflowing in her voice.

It was a daily occurrence in Stell's house. He would read fantasy books while his mother and sometimes father would yell at him for not doing anything.

"I am in the goddamn high school! HOW CAN I EVEN EARN?!" His scream echoed throughout the street, alarming the neighbors.

"Then find a girlfriend or something! You can't spend your time doing nothing! Look at Karu. He is the best student in the school!"

Karu was a bully Stell frequently met. When they were kids, they were best friends. However, as Stell grew up, he stopped spending time with him.

Not wanting to be a whistleblower, Stell only frowned, deciding to ignore his mother. So what if he was worse in school? So what if he didn't have a girlfriend? It didn't matter anyway. After all, he lived in that boring world.

***

Remembering the irritating memory, Stell's thoughts turned chaotic again. He wasn't in that boring world anymore. But he was still worse. Far worse.

Suppressing the deep sadness that invaded his heart, he tried focusing on the book.

But he couldn't. No matter how much he tried to, the faces of people he knew flashed through his mind.

Karu's mocking look. Mia's disappointed face. His mother yelled at him.

Even Felix's innocent smile and Aaron's derisive smirk.

He wanted to abandon all of them. He didn't want to be weak anymore. He didn't need to meet their expectations.

He didn't need it.

And yet, something was stopping him. He felt like he was running. Like he gave up.

"Give up?" He bitterly chuckled. With a mocking grin, he slammed his fist against the floor. "Do I want to give up? Everything that I wanted happened! Here I am, in another world! Here I am, with superpowers!" He aggressively muttered.

With a resigned expression, he leaned against the bookshelf. "It's not them. It's not the cheats. It's me being useless."