Chapter Twenty: Gain or loss

Maybe we're all just a bunch of fools

Everyone lives with a love that has come to an end

It's not that I still have feelings for you

I know we can't work out

But why does it feel like I'm having indigestion?

As if my insides will explode

Cries come up my throat

Making me throw up

In my imagination, I fight with you

Make up with you and understand you

Your hand gestures, your eyes

They are faded but not gone

Why won't it go away?

_Let Me Know

______________________________________

'1st September'

Jungkook Pov

"Jimin-ah see are these balloons right in place?"

"Hyung just move them to a little right."

"Yes, yes like that. It's perfect now."

"Taehyung-ah where're the ribbons you brought?"

"Hyung, they're in any shopping bag right there on the table."

"hosoek-ah did you checked for the cake?"

"Yes Hyung, it'll be delivered in evening."

My head hurt when the random voices started echoing in my ears. At first, those voices were low and distant but as they kept on becoming louder and clearer, I experienced a pounding headache.

I knew those familiar voices belonged to my Hyungs but the pain my head was going through, I desperately wanted those voices to stop or to just disappear.

My eyes fluttered open, when I couldn't endure it. At first everything was blurry but it became vivid within few seconds. The headache slowly began to fade as my vision became clearer. I looked down at myself to find myself in a hospital bed. I tried to move my body but I felt nothing. I couldn't feel my body.

I panicked, trying to call anyone but my voice didn't came out. What was happening to me? Why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I speak?

I looked around to find all 6 hyungs were busy laughing and talking. The walls of room were full of balloons and my pictures hanging with them by some ribbons. What were these decorations for and why were they so happy?

But the scene in front of me, where my hyungs were smiling and giggling while too immersed in decorating the room, gave me a strange feeling of sadness. They were so happy. Those smiling faces were like a dream to me. Was it real or was it dream? Why was I tearing up?

I closed my eyes again as I thought it was just a dream.

But a sudden knock on the door startled me, giving me the realization that it was real. I really was in hospital and Hyungs were really there. This made my heart clenched in my chest, cause if it was real I didn't want Hyungs to know that I couldn't speak and couldn't move. I didn't want their smiles to fade away. So, instead of showing any sign of me waking up, I kept my eyes closed.

Someone entered the room, cause I could hear the foot steps getting closer and closer. I was literally holding my breath so no one could know I was awake.

"You? How dare you enter this room?"

It was loud roar that echoed in the room. And I knew to whom that voice belonged to. V Hyung! But why was V Hyung yelling at the person that just came in? Who was that person?

"Taehyung, please listen to me once.."

A feminine voice pleaded V hyung. That voice felt familiar but I couldn't remember whom that voice belonged to.

"I had told you and I think I was crystal clear that I have nothing to do with you or this kid. I'm sending you money every month and when this kid will come into the world, I'll let the world know about its identity. That's all I can do. So, disappear when I'm being nice. I don't want to ruin this day."

Kid? What kid? And Why was he taking her kid and her responsiblility? Who was that female? And why was V hyung venomously harsh? I had never heard him this rude to anyone in his whole life.

"Taehyung please I'm here to apologise to you and Jungkook."

Her voice held pain. I could feel she was at verge to break down in tears. But why did she wanted to apologise to me and V Hyung?

"Hahaha.. Apologise? Okay let me think... Uhhh you want to apologise right? Then wake him up. Get him back to life, I'll forgive you. Can you do that? Tell me? Can you?"

V Hyung snapped. I could feel hatred and scorn in his voice. And along with hatred, a pain that only I could sense.

"It's... It's not like that. I'm really remorseful towards you and Jungkook. Please just for once listen to me. I'll disappear from your life forever like your wish. Please for Jungkook's sake just once."

That woman was literally begging, I could feel her crying.

But I couldn't understand why was I the part of the conversation? What she did wrong to me? Why couldn't I remember anything?

Silence took over the room. It lasted  few minutes and when V Hyung didn't replied, Jin Hyung spoke.

"You should sit down first and don't cry, it's not good for baby."

Jin Hyung voice was soft but it felt like it was fake. Like he was trying hard to be soft. But why?

And what was that baby? Whom baby was that?

"Taehyung since childhood we were so close and I was always attracted towards you. But I was afraid to tell you. Cause I thought you wouldn't like me back the way I liked you. So to stay with you forever, being friend with you was the only way. But I didn't know when my feelings for you kept on growing until I became obsessed for you. I loved you Taehyung all these years and still love you."

She sobbed. But my heart sank in my stomach at her confession. Why did I feel like ripping apart? Why did it gave me a strange feeling?

"Love? If what you did was love, then I wish love would disappear from this world. What you calling love is your mere obsession and selfishness. You want to know what really love is?"

V Hyung paused, I could feel him exhaling out of extreme loathe.

"Do you see him? It's been 8 months since he's in coma. And you know why he's here? He's here because of me. He jumped in front of the fucking truck to save me. That day, when he saw me with you, he was broken and hurt. He was annoyed that he didn't want to hear me or see me. I thought he would never talk to me. But when it came to my life, he risked his life without even thinking. That's what love is.

And you.. You took advantage of me and risked my reputation, my career and on top of that you almost killed both me and Jungkook and you call it love? You're just a shame to love. And ironically you made me the part of your so called love. Even if he wakes up now, I doubt I will able to face him and stay with him. Cause staying with me will only bring him pain."

8 months? Accident? It was when flashbacks began to appear in my head. An agonising pain stroke my head. I tried hard not to show any sign of waking up. But those memories were so painful to remember.

So, everything I kept hearing while I was in coma wasn't a dream. It was real. She was Miran and she was pregnant with V hyung's baby?

A tear involuntarily rolled down my eye. I wished no one would see it. Cause now I literally wanted to disappear from this world. Cause somewhere deep I knew I was the reason that it happened. If I didn't break up with V Hyung that day, nothing would have went wrong.

"Taehyung I admit that I was wrong. That night I drugged your drink. I was jealous cause you were insanely in love with Jungkook. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted you to be just mine. So I thought If I get your baby in my stomach you won't be able to get away from me and you have to leave Jungkook."

She drugged V Hyung? Why didn't I think of that? May be I was so furious that time. But I never thought her to be shamelessly despicable.

"Hahaha... Congratulations then.. You have succeeded. Now even if I desperately want to stay forever with Jungkook, I can't. You strangled me with the responsibility of this kid. Even though I don't want to see you and this kid in my whole life, it will still stay my responsibility. And I don't want Jungkook to go through same pain again and again because of you and your kid. "

V Hyung broken voice hit me deeper in my heart. It felt like he was in pain and despair. He had given up on life already.

"Taehyung.... I'm dying."

She announced between hiccups.

"What?"

V Hyung felt shocked.

"I was diagnosed with last stage brain tumor two months ago."

"if this is yours sometype of trick, then end it here. Cause this is not funny, Miran."

V Hyung warned her with utter seriousness but I didn't feel like she was lying, which made my heart tremble.

"I'm serious. I'm serious for the first time in my life Taehyung. I had never been a good person till now. I used the people I loved and made them the target of my selfishness. But for the last time in my life, I want to be a good friend to you and good mother to my child."

She paused but there was no reply from the other side. I wandered if everyone was in shock like I was in. When she got no response, she continued.

"It had been two months since I was diagnosed with cancer but I didn't bother you. I wouldn't have appeared again but I had to,for you and for my child. My delivery date is getting closer. I don't know how long I can take this. So, I wanted to confess my wrong doings and give you this."

She said while giving V Hyung something. I couldn't tell what it was cause my eyes were closed.

"What is this?"

For the first time in a while V Hyung voice softened. I knew he was angry just from above, deep inside he had a soft heart.

"These are the legal documents saying that I'm a surrogate mother for your child. And this baby's legal guardians are you and Jungkook. Since, I'm near to die. And I was the one brought this misfortune to you. This is my biggest punishment that my child will never know that it has a mother. And this is my apology to you and Jungkook. And a last request to raise this child together with Jungkook since its your blood."

Me and V hyung's child? Her words felt strange to my ears. Even though I wanted to have a family with V Hyung but I didn't want it to be like that. I didn't want Miran to die. Even if she did wrong to us, I didn't wanted her to die all of sudden. And I was sure V Hyung would have the same thoughts as mine.

"Miran..."

V Hyung paused, like he was still in trance of what just Miran said. Like he was trying to ingest everything just happened.

"Miran, after all you did to me, I was annoyed, hurt and disappointed cause it came from my best friend from childhood. And to be honest, for everything you did to me, I had forgiven it long time ago. But what you did to Jungkook, I.. I just can't get myself to forgive you. But still I'm not that cold hearted person to take away the name of the mother from her child. It doesn't matter to me. You don't need to be surrogate. You're the mother and you have all rights on your kid. And about your cancer, I'll talk to the best surgeons in the world to remove your tumor. If something happens to you, it won't be punishment for you, it will be punishment for the innocent kid who will be left motherless. You need to survive for this kid cause even a good father can't replace a mother's love for her kid and to be honest, I am not even eligible to be called a father. So, don't die on me, I have no heart to go through this.."

Even though V hyung spoke bluntly, but I could feel fear in his voice.

"Taehyung, I've tried everything already but there's really no chance. It's last stage. It's unremovable now. If they try, I'll die along with our baby. So I've given up to fate and you should accept it too. And just keep these documents. I hope you and Jungkook will forgive me one day. That may ease my soul."

The despair in her voice, broke my heart. She didn't deserve this big punishment. She didn't had to end like this.

I heard footsteps again like she was about to leave.

That was when I decided to open my eyes and turned my head to see Miran was leaving.

"I forgive you Miran." I blurted out.

I gasped, when my own voice echoed in my own ears. I could speak?

Everyone turned to me in utter shock.

"JJ.. Jungkook?"

And the room echoed with my name as everyone nearly ran to me.