His mother, on the contrary, told him that only if a lady was single and emotionally available, was he allowed to go and win her affection. Otherwise, it would be better for him to let her go. If the lady had indeed fallen for another man, he should walk away before it was too late.
His mother had even told him an example based on her personal experience. She told him about what happened between her and Xue Yilan. Xue Yilan used to be her closest courtier, who was obsessed with her. She, however, fell for Shen Jiuli instead; thus, kickstarting a series of disputes.
All three of them were forced to deal with one another for three centuries. Xue Yilan did not intend to let her go and chose to stay by her. However, her heart already belonged to another man. Eventually, she married Shen Jiuli. Xue Yilan, however, ended his life miserably in ashes and sorrow. Three centuries of tireless pursuit became entirely fruitless.