Back in time

Sunlight flooded through the partially opened windows of the small chamber. The curtains fluttered at the slight breeze and the birds could be heard chirping from the tree by the window.

The aroma of flowers floated over my nostrils and I can't help the tears that started streaming down my cheeks. My cries faded to whimpers and sobs as I shakily took in my surroundings.

I can picture my small vanity packed with my favorite flowers and several brushes and paints that I used to love. I could see my modest wardrobe full with of dresses that my mother and I have created. I could see several of the paintings that I did and they were neatly lined on a corner. Most importantly, I could view the enormous flower fields over my window and the sea at the horizon.

My gaze drifted back to my small vanity and I shakily stood from my bed. My palms trembled as I took in my image in the mirror. My long purple hair was a jumble and my amethyst eyes were wide with astonishment and disbelief. I checked my fair skin for any evidence of scrapes or bruises but found nothing. My hands quivered as I cautiously lifted my nightgown to check my flat abdomen. There was no discoloration and no mark.

My eyes began to sting and my breathing got heavier as I questioned whether this is a dream. To be back before all the chaos started, I wish that I would never wake up from this dream.

My head began to whirl and I eventually surrendered to darkness.

The loud gust of wind awakened me up from my slumber. My head was pounding yet I still forced my body to be awake. I studied my surroundings and realized that I was truly in my old room in the countryside. The window in my room was left open and the starless night can be seen in my view. The drapes swirled in the breeze yet the large moon casted its radiance across the field.

My breathe caught as I strained to lift my body once again. I slowly strolled around my room to confirm whether everything is true. I hesitantly stepped out of my room and entered the hollow corridor. The only sound came from my footsteps that appeared to echo in the tiny hallway. I first landed on the room on my right and remembered that it belonged to my mother.

With a heavy heart, I entered the frigid chamber. It looked just how it was in the past. The room of my mother which I kept neat everyday was how I remembered it was. I bit my lip to suppress my emotions once more. If I could just go back to when my mother was alive, if only . . . My thoughts were jumbled but I nevertheless resumed my tour. The modest kitchen and living space was the same. It seemed as though I reverted to the time that I was fourteen years old.

I resumed roaming around and confirmed that everything is true but how? How was it possible? Did I truly go back in time? Was my former experience actually something that I went through? Was it a nightmare?

It feels like my mind will burst if I kept searching for answers. Looking at the clock, it's already past three in the morning.

If I genuinely went back to the past then the events that would unfold in the near future would happen and so will the start of my tragedy.

My eyes closed reflexively as I remembered the horror of an experience that I had. The abuse, humiliation, and treachery still seemed fresh in my memories. I involuntarily cowered at the corner as I recalled everything.

Everything went downhill the time my mother was troubled by an illness. It was regarded an epidemic brought upon by the enemy land as an attack against the kingdom. The town that I live in is located in a rural area near the border. This was originally the soldier's barracks and eventually evolved in to a little village. Although far from the capital and adjacent towns, the livelihood and quality of life was modest and cheap.

My mother and I enjoyed a peaceful lifestyle till she passed on. I was extremely miserable and depressed that time as there was no one to lean on. It was just me and my mother and although we had quiet lives we were not welcomed in this community. Which is why we lived a little further from town. I never understood why the folks shied away from us as if we have a contagious disease. Even during my mother's burial it was only myself and a few church people.

A few months after, a messenger and several knights from the royal palace came to our residence. I remember having mixed thoughts about the new information. I was a princess! A daughter of the King of Gervase! Such news gave me hope that even if I'm not with my mother, I could finally reconcile with my father.

But I was wrong, extremely wrong.

It took us two months to reach the capital and the royal palace. I was urged to not bring any of my previous possessions other than clothes to change throughout the trip. The trip itself was unpleasant even if it was my first time to ride a gorgeous carriage. I was used to the frigid treatment of the villagers so the uncaring demeanor of the knights and maids weren't new.

My first day in the palace was a disaster. There was no huge entourage to greet me and it was as if my journey to the palace was kept a secret. The palace itself was lovely and vast with wide gardens and lakes but I was not given enough time for a tour when I was escorted to the outermost section of the palace. I was advised to freshen up, change, and join the royal family for dinner. No time to rest, no time for queries, and no time to become accustomed. I was grateful nevertheless, as it was my first time to be treated and served by maids. Even if they were indifferent, I still tried to warm up to them.

It was my first time to get clothed in such lovely outfit, it was a rich maroon hue with silver linings and a little bow at the front. It was a modest dress with long sleeves and ruffles at the end. My hair was tightly pulled in a little bun at the base of my neck and my face was densely pressed with various cosmetics. It was as unpleasant as my tight corset and it was overwhelming.

I had to suffer my high heels with the long walk from my residence to the main dining hall. I was sweating hard and my heart was racing loudly. I occasionally hear of the royal family, my family. The royal line of Gervase had long since practiced the concept of polygyny. Meaning, the King can have have more than one wife in a hierarchical manner. The King has formally honored four spouses and has a total of eighteen descendants and all of us are currently dwelling in the palace. However, there are circumstances such as myself where the mother was not formally acknowledged thus cannot live within the palace walls.

It might seem like an odd manner of living but it is only allowed in the royal family so the citizens have nothing to say against it. Still, there are quite a few things that I've heard during my trip that are fairly hard to believe.

My wandering thoughts were halted when we arrived in front of the huge double doors. Two servants with scarlet faces tentatively pulled the door open. The scene that confronted me was outrageous.

I stood paralyzed amidst the sensuous noises I'm hearing.

Two people were indulging in an amorous entanglement in the dining hall.

"Yes . . . Ahhh . . . deeper my prince."

"Just a bit more . . . ahhh."

The sound of skin slapping and water slushing resonated through the room and my ears seem to be buzzing and I can feel my face heat up.

I stood awkwardly not knowing what to do since the doors behind me were already closed.