Ball Of Energy
I woke up the morning after the party with the worst hangover imaginable. My head was pounding and I spent nearly half of the morning by the toilet. Sawyer and I killed the whole bottle & finally, when we were drunk enough we decided to try their concoction of mixtures. Once I was finally done puking up my insides, I walked into sawyers kitchen.
Her mom is dressed in a pink satin robe, her short brown hair barely touched her shoulders. She flashed me a smile "Good morning Iridessa, you feeling better hun?" she said this with her cute southern drawl. "Yes ma'am, I just need some water and bacon" my lips say these words as my stomach grumbles at the thought of grease. Anything greasy always made my hangovers feel better.
After chugging a whole bottle of water, I prepare myself some bacon, eggs and coffee and sit down to eat. "so what do you plan on doing after graduation?" Mrs. April looks directly at me with her light brown eyes as she says this. Her and Sawyer looked just alike, honestly they were almost twins their baby pictures, childhood pictures, and even pictures of April as a teen, they're almost identical. I think about what she says for a moment, knowing sawyer and I are going to different schools, and will be no where near each other.
"Well, I am planning on going to school for psychology, I got accepted into Berkeley. The semester starts in a little less than 2 months." I pause for a moment, I wanted to be happy saying these things, but leaving all of my family and friends seemed like an impossible and miserable task. "I know I will be far away, but I will come and visit everyone as often as I can" I say reaching for Sawyer's hand and squeezing it.
After leaving Sawyer's house I return home. When I walk into the front door the atmosphere seems different. It's extremely quiet, and I hadn't gotten any texts from dad or mom all night. "shit" I said in a whisper. I forgot to text them and let them know I was okay when we got back to Sawyer's last night. I had never done that before, and honestly I didn't know how they were going to react. My feet begin walking up the staircase leading to all of the bedrooms. After walking down the hallway to my room, I go to turn the door knob when I hear "oh, look who decided to come home"
It was mom, she seemed pissed with me. I had never heard her use this tone. "what do you have to say for yourself" her arms are crossed and she is frowning so hard it is making wrinkles form on her forehead. "I'm sorry mom. My phone died last night and I fell asleep before I had a chance to text you guys. It hasn't happened before and it won't happen again" I flash her a smile and a wink, trying to warm her up. I noticed her expression only seemed more angry. "Your phone was probably dead because you were posting stories all night of you and your friends drinking." She says this in a loud tone, and I don't know how to respond. "It's a graduation party mom, didn't you do things like this as a child"
She shifted her neck back in response to this, as if I had said something offensive to her. "No, I didn't get to do things like this. My parents were poor and I knew if I wanted to make a better life for myself, I had to work for it. You have been so privileged, we give you everything you want all the time." She says all of this so fast she has to take a deep breath in. It's like she had an epiphany about how spoiled of a child I am. "I did not raise you to be like this. What happens if Berkeley sees these videos?" She doesn't even give me time to answer "Huh? What happens then? You don't ever think about anything hit yourself. I probably wouldn't have even seen those stories if you would have just texted me or your father. But now, instead you keep us up worrying all night only to find out you're out getting drunk." She finally pauses long enough for me to say "I get good grades, I got into a good college, I'm always a good girl. Anytime I make the smallest mistake you blow up like this" at this point I am raising my voice back. I feel myself getting frustrated. I admitted I was wrong, why couldn't we just move forward from this? Lesson learned. " you will not raise your voice at me in this house." She points her finger in my face and begins walking closer. "I did not ask for all of these responsibilities." As soon as she says this something inside of me snaps. Does she mean me? Does she mean she did not ask for me? These emotions run through my body, feeling like a ball of energy travelling through me. Before I know it may hands are outstretched and I say "Leave me Alone". A small pulse of energy comes from my hands and my mother goes flying backwards.
I am so confused by what just happened. I had always been a little different, but I had never expected anything like this to happen. When I was younger, my father was heading to work one morning. I was about 6 at the time, and I was begging my father to stay home. Apparently I told my mother that I had a dream that dad was at a stop sign by his job, and suddenly a bunch of cars crashed into him at once. My mother kept brushing it off as a "young child's imagination", but I wouldn't stop. I cried, screamed, jumped up and down, blocked the door, and eventually my father called in sick. We watched the news later that night and there was a 6 car wreck at the stop sign in front of my father's job.
My mother thought I might be possessed after this and insisted I prey every night, and attend church with her. This happened a few more times, but only with minor things. Like, if my mother was looking for something important. I would have an inkling for where it was, and I was always right. I always knew before someone was going to come to the house. I just had a way of knowing things. My father said I was "intuitive". My mother I felt, was always convinced I could be something evil. Regardless of this, she was an amazing mother to me. She made sure I had everything I needed and more… and now I have hurt her.
She looks into my eyes frightened, terrified, as if what just happened confirmed that I was in face evil or at least dangerous. I want to go to her and comfort her, apologize and make sure she is okay. The way she is looking at me though, causes me to turn and run for the door. Pushing the back door open, I head for the woods. Not wanting my mother or anyone to find me, I want to be alone. My feet run until they're aching and my lungs are burning, begging for air. I stop by a big rock, the rock has dark green moss almost completely covering it. My hand rested upon it, but I quickly pull it back when I realize how moist it is.
There are birds chirping in the trees above me, and I can hear the distant sound of water flowing… but I cannot tell what direction it is coming from. My eyes scan the mossy forest floor, and I realize that I am lost.