Water Weight

Andrew sat down in his chair at the end of a long day, just like he had done every other day for the past three years. He readied himself for what he knew was to come next. "Andrew you motherfucking slouch! Give me a hand!", his roommate Horace yelled. Andrew, accepting his fate, rose from his chair to assist his friend.

As he made his way into the kitchen he was greeted by the scent of food, but not just any food, the scent of Horace's food. Horace, although not a physical worker like Andrew, was known for his ability to make delicious food out of damn near anything.

"ANDREW!!", Horace yelled straining his voice. Andrew, not wanting to alert Horace to his presence, remained silent as he entered the cooking area. Horace, fed up with the lack of response, began to turn around but was only to find Andrew seated at the table behind him. "You're an asshole, you know that? All you had to do is answer me.", said Horace . Andrew, looking at his friend, shrugged. "You know its so much more fun to watch you get angry. It's not like you could do anything anyway.", said Andrew, alluding to the fact that although Andrew was tired, he could still more then handle Horace.

Horace, although a great cook, was no physical specimen. Standing all of 5'6 180 he was not as large as Andrew. Although roughly the same height, Andrew was far stockier then Horace due to the fact that while Horace worked in an office setting, Andrew had spent the last three years getting down and dirty at a physical labor job that caused a rapid gain in mass in the form of muscle. "You may be bigger than me but I'll still fucking stab you.", Horace muttered, a vicious glint in his eye. "Always relying on weapons.", chuckled Andrew as he from his chair to assist Horace with what appeared to be a large loaf of bread.

"What is this thing?", asked Andrew as he strained under the heavy loaf."It's a stuffed bread filled with meats ", explained Horace as he beamed with pride "Well, this bitch is heavy", grunted Andrew as he set down the bread. Horace chuckled, "Guess Mr. Big Shot isn't so strong after all'. Andrew, having just set down the food, looked at Horace with malicious intent. He suddenly decided he wasn't that hungry and made to push the loaf to the floor "I. Will. Kill. You.", threatened Horace as he turned around at high speed. Andrew smiled sheepishly, "I was just kidding". Horace glared "If that hits the floor I will put every knife in this mother fucking kitchen into your ass". Andrew saw the look in Horace's eyes and decided that the loaf wasn't worth putting his life in danger for. He giggled to himself and waited for Horace to seat himself at the table. "This shit is delicious!", Andrew thought to himself before continuing to gorge himself on the mystery meat loaf.

After their meal concluded, Horace, still mad at the sheer idiocy of Andrew, attempted to return to his room. He purposely left dishes on the table and in the sink knowing that due to his inability to deal with clutter, Andrew would clean up the mess. Andrew, knowing exactly what Horace was doing, tried to stop him by yelling loudly "YO!". Horace ignored him and increased his speed, making a beeline for his bedroom door which was about ten feet from where he was. "YO Horace!", yelled Andrew with a sense of desperation in his voice .

Horace, a mere four feet from his door at this point, dared to turn around to mock Andrew by yelling,"Ha Bitch have fun with the dishes ". However, as he did this he hadn't realized that he should probably have opened his door before he had decided to commit his brazen act of treason. Horace ran head first into the door, laying himself out in the hallway. This left an opening for Andrew to leap out of the chair he was in, make his way like a gazelle over Horace's limp body, run the rest of the way down the hallway and quickly make it inside his room before Horace had regained his ability to remember who and where he was.

Andrew, having made his way into his room, closed the door and laughed like a possessed man. Horace, having at this time regained his composure, rose to his feet and grumbled to himself, "...asshole always wins". He resigned himself to once again returning their kitchen to a livable state. As Horace made his way to the sink the lights suddenly flickered and shut off. "Andrew stop this shit!", yelled Horace with a hint of fear in his voice. "The hell you talking about?", Andrew yelled back, his door still closed. "The lights!", Horace managed to get out before the sink behind him came alive.

The lights suddenly came back on in the kitchen and Horace stared in astonishment as the water that flowed from the sink increased in pressure and started to form a shape that looked strangely humanoid. "What the fuck is going on!", yelled Andrew as he threw open the door to his room and peered down the hallway. "What happened to the lights just now Horace?". Horace didn't answer so Andrew proceeded to head back down the hallway towards the kitchen. As he made his way into the kitchen he noticed that the floor, walls, and table were wet. That puzzled him greatly but he continued on. The sink, unlike the rest of the kitchen, was bone dry. The faucet handle was up, indicating that the water was on but no water came out.

"Hmm that's weird....", Andrew thought to himself he turned the faucet off and returned to the table. As he approached the table he noticed it had become dry just like the sink and that the water that was earlier on it was flowing towards him at an alarming rate. He attempted to turn around but was unable to due to a sharp feeling in his ribs. He felt a wetness there but was unsure of what it was. Before he could investigate further the world went dark.