Chapter 7

Reversing from the space that had originally contained my car, I took another drink. The burning sensation now masked, as I reached the halfway point of the bottle.

Incrementally, I increased the speed of the car in correlation to the amount of alcohol I was consuming. My vision now just an endless streaming blur.

Memories rushing back, clouding any vision I did have.

As they rushed to the front of my vision I lay back on the couch. I was now only 7-years old. My father no longer in the picture. My mother, the sole 'carer' and 'guardian' for both me and my brother.

No one knew at the time what a huge mistake those titles in front of her name would mean for us, until it was too late.

More men and women began to gather in the house, an endless pack of them flooding through the doors. Alcohol overflowing, sticking to the floorboards and creating a cloud of odour.

Sexual ritualistic acts being performed at every square inch of the residence, with no concern or moral understanding of the impact this would have on my brother and me.

A collection of men and women using our home as a club/brothel for their own amusement.

I attempted to stay out of the way, concealing my brother from the monsters that now lurked and surrounded us.

However, my efforts were futile as I was swiftly spotted. Completely intoxicated, one of the many men stumbled over to us. In one hand a can of beer lay loosely gripped by his chubby, clammy hands, in the other a cigarette – half burnt to the bud. As he dropped the can, almost instantaneously, he reached out the same hand and aimed for my 2-year-old brother.

Manoeuvring myself, I stretched out my body, extending the 7-year-old body I had across the face of my brother.

Sheltering him from this grotesque human, I left myself open for the attack. As his oily skinned hand coiled around my arm and gripped tight, I was pulled closer to him.

Knees scraping the sticky wooden surface, splinters shot up into my legs piercing the skin. The amber horizon covered my eyesight, as the barrel of the cigarette came hurtling toward me. The scorching of my skin as the ash flaked away in the air, left smiles in the eyes of the man.

My skin arched in on itself, leaving a noticeable impact crater. My eyes clenched back the tears from escaping their prison.

After a several dozen burns were etched into my skin, he had clearly been pleasurably fulfilled and now sought after a new release. That was when his eyes lined up my brother. A 2-year-old would seem favourable to an animal like this.

His eyes glowed with delight at the sight of my vulnerable brother, like a lion spotting a calf left abandoned by its parents.

Within an instant I snapped and picked up the closest object, proceeding to smash the man repeatedly over the head. Yet my attempts were in vein.

The grown, grotesque individual threw me around the room, all the while my drugged up drunken excuse for a mother lay upstairs with her legs spread wide open pleasuring the same men that would abuse us.

Was their pleasure more important than her own children's safety?

Was their money or attention of more worth that our lives?

I continued driving whilst paralysed as a result of the onslaught of repressed memories. Drink after drink; I attempted to block these feelings and recollections, but every attempt was proven ineffective.

The car veered off to the left, as I was left motionless and unreactive. Within moments the car collided with a worker's site sign. The sign being elevated from the road and smashing the windshield. I still lay- unresponsive.

Almost instantaneously to this, the car began to rise and tilt horizontally as if in slow motion. Inside the car, glass from the windshield and the, almost empty, whiskey bottle rolled around alongside me.

Glass piercing my skin, a constant attack gashed my face, leaving deep cuts as a result.

By the time the car had stopped its almost endless mid-air summersault consisting of numerous roles, it crashed to the surface below. The metal casing of the vehicle crumbled around the seats.

The car stood still upside down. I was suspended only by my seatbelt. Street signs and billboards lit up the crash site, and along with it a clear line of sight, yet a hazy one.

Undoing my tightly gripping seatbelt that grasped the core of my neck, I crashed into the now crumpled roof of the car – colliding with a bed of glass. Digging my nails into the ground ahead of me, clawing onto anything that would take my weight, I pulled my body and the torn clothes that covered it across the floor.

Finally emerging from the wreckage that now stood behind me, I was blinded by the harrowing lights ahead.

As I fell to my knees and looked into the sky, searching for answers I crumbled. Questioning myself and the things I had done as well as the people I had hurt, I soon found myself cocooned in a self-pity shell.

Hours must have passed until I realised what it was, I had to do. I dragged myself from the floor, putting all my weight into the now destroyed leather shoes that covered my feet and found myself face to face with the devil within.

I may not have found my answers within the stars, but the devil certainly answered my prayers.

"Well Hello David. It's about time that we met, don't you think?" The devil spoke with such eloquence.

"wh- who the hell are you?" exclaiming with what little air I had left in my lungs.

"What? You're telling me you don't recognise your own face? It has been a long time since you've truly seen yourself, I guess." He replied as quickly as I asked.

"No! I'm sorry but you are not me. You're your own parasite, a manifestation created by my own twisted mind to torment me." Angrily screeching back at him.

"I am what I must be. I am who I am, and you are who you are. However, in this moment, we are two souls trapped within one vessel."

"And your point is what exactly?" I replied, curious to the answer he would give.

"Two souls cannot inhabit the same body; the vessel will burn up and go mad. That is why I will take this as my own."

Standing face to face with the inner, darker me, I found myself surrounded by clouds of pure darkness both of us secluded within my mind. This was not a battle that could any longer be won through psychotherapy medication. This was the ultimate battle for complete control. The most important battle I would ever undergo, and I have to win it.

Starring at the mirror reflection of myself that stood before me, I soon realised the difference between us, one subtle difference: his eyes. Our eyes were different shades of brown.

A subtle difference, but a distinguishing factor to anyone that knew me. Although I was beginning to come to terms with having a parasite burrowed and manifesting within my brain for years, I am still unwilling to accept that we are the same.

However, all demons and angels that lie beneath the surface are creations from one's own mind.

Majestically, created creatures, made only to amplify emotions or actions that would otherwise lie subconsciously buried within the mind of 'ordinary/normal' people.

Those dark urges manifested as a survival technique that never just never left the continuous evolutionary battle of nature vs. nurture.

Turning my body clockwise toward the parasite, I glared into the doppelgangers' eyes with a mixture of fear and rage.

Despite this, the parasite returned with a generous, cunning grin as he was clearly not as easily intimidated.

The battleground of my mind was a desolate one to say the least; torn up battlements and struck down defences truly illustrated my fragile, mutilated state of mind from years of mental and physical torture.

Nevertheless, the state of this stage, it was becoming evident that it would play host to one final battle - in turn, determining the victor, the one that would gain full control over my body.

As I took a closer step toward him, a domino effect began to take shape, both simultaneously forming our hands into fists, our stomachs tensing and faces beginning to squint in anger.

Moving with viscous intent, my first thrown punch, was blocked with intense purpose.

Punch after punch, each attempt I made to connect with the organism seemed futile and to some degree, an utter waste of energy. This became even more humiliating when all of the shadow's blows would successfully connect time after time.

Grabbing the lapel of my shirt, it gripped tightly, pulling me closer to it. its arms tensed, squeezing all of its blood into the muscles most intended for pain and torment. Withing, seemingly seconds, of being pulled toward it, I was launched several meters back. Colliding with a dining room table, splinters pierced my skin, carving my skin into segments.

"So, are you giving up yet? Surly by now you have realised how pointless this is?" It exclaimed with such confidence.

Having barely enough energy to stand, never mind continuing this pointless bout, it soon became clear how far out of my depth I was.

This was his realm, he had lived here indefinitely, he knew the rules and how to play them to his advantage. I was a stranded visitor within my own mind. Here I was the invader. The parasite.

Spitting blood stained saliva from my lips, I pulled myself back to my feet and wiped blood from the newly formed cut that lay upon my forehead.

It's face soon turned toward me, grinning, and laughing so much, even his eyes seemed to imitate this. The clouds, formed from pure darkness, moulded, and shaped themselves into new objects and surroundings as though he was controlling them.

The clouds forming a room, with a single bed. No posters. No toys. No indication of who's room it was or for what age range.

As we both stood, I could only ponder on the thought of why he would bring us here. However, after much searching it became clear, and after a young boy crouching in the corner of the room revealed itself, I remember this exact memory.

For as long as I lay submerged within my own mind, he could use any and all of my memories to torture me, forever.

As more memories flooded in front of me, and I was forced to relive all of my worst highlights, the walls holding back the repressed memories crumbled. Now everything was available to him, and nothing was off limits.

"I- I cannot. Wh- why?" David lay there, a shattered version of himself. And now I was finally in the driver's seat. For all intents and purposes, you may call me… Human.

I know a little forward, but I kind of like it.

If you want to know what I showed David to make him crack like an egg and lie in front of me cowering, I can show you. Would you like to see all of his worst highlights of his life? Just playing for you.

Then let the highlight reel begin.