Chapter 6

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Means letting go

To free yourself

Because life is harsher

In black and white

But clarity is easier to fight

You can't make it right

You can only forgive

To continue to live

To be free

To say you are you and I am me

And we

Are no longer

Chained together

Forever I am gone

Moved on

From the effect you had

Someday I will be glad that I forgave

To shave off the pieces of you left over

My beautiful love

I shall one day forgive you

So that I may be able to live too

To live on

The black and white photos

Will gain beauty

Because one day

I will say

I am me

And I forgive you

Or do I?

Wake Up

Wake up

And smell the coffee

The rain

The daisies

What a wonderful array

Of things today

But in the end

All must change

What a range

Of things to twist and contort

To miss and distort

No more

Why can't we just leave things be

So we can see the beauty

But no

Things must go

Must be different

And we must be indifferent

In order to save our minds

What kinds

Of horrors lie

From getting caught up on the past

On things that never last

A sigh, a tear, a broken gasp

Of a choking man

Who chokes out a sob

No home and no job

Crying in the rain

Drenched and in pain

He is yet to have slain

The immortal dragon

Which drags him down

From out of his town

To the depths of the earth

For better and for worse

Then drowning in dirt six feet under

That's got to hurt

View of the World

Dragged through the mud

And dragged through the dirt

Worlds full of pain

And worlds full of hurt

And people with joy

And people with sadness

A blanket that envelopes the world in madness

Inches from life

And inches from death

One final blow

And one final breath

With a pretty red bow

Around the rest

Life

And death

And everything in between

Love

And hate

And all the unseen

On the screen it is watched

In horror and insanity

The view of the world of insecurity and vanity

A scream and a cry and a choked out sob

On the screen

On the wall

In the house

In the neighborhood

In the town

In the county

In the state

In the country

In the world

In the universe

Lies the view of what the world truly is

The Little Gray House

In the house down the street

With a little red door

And 15 rooms

But with windows even more

In that little gray house

With its familiar decor

Sits a little old woman

With lavender hair

And knitting needles

She sits on the porch and just spends her days

Watching the cars pass by

Hours and hours

Weeks and weeks

Until one day she died in her sleep

And she no longer sat on her chair outside

And watched the cars just passing by

Stars on a Chessboard

Twinkle twinkle little star

Fucked up people don't get far

Unless they run away

And leave their families behind

In the search for a new day

For a new dawn

For a new way

To escape the life of a pawn

To be the king and queen

Of their own lives

On the chessboard

Boredom doesn't help

When you're already depressed

It just makes the feelings worse

It just wears out the purple dress

And leaves behind a mess of life

And emotions

And everything

Devotion to the other pawns

Keeps you stuck behind

In your quaint little unlivable life

I deserve what comes to me

I can take it all

But what I can't take is the is the keeping everything bottled up inside

I can't take the hiding

And I can't take the fighting

Anymore

It's all too much

For the little pawn

And the little star

Tommy Brollow, Aaron Joint, and the ghost of Cody Brock

Muddy Hollow

Arrow Point

Born to follow

Born to point fingers

And arrows at the hearts of the muddy faced assassins

In the back of the class

In the old, broken chair

At the pencil marked desk

With the deadliest stare

Sits a young, sunken faced boy

With a pen and a bruised, black eye

From the biggest guys in the class

Named Tommy Brollow

From Muddy Hollow

And Aaron Joint

From Arrow Point

They rule the classroom

And own the weak

And one day, the sunken faced boy

Called Cody Brock

From Willow Rock

Disappeared into the ocean

Him and his bruised, black eye

Never to be seen again

A scene of horror

A scene so zen

Not one could process the event

Not Tommy Brollow

Not Aaron Joint

Until they followed

Because the guilt pointed at them

And broke their minds

That they accidentally killed little Cody Brock

From Willow Rock

So Tommy and Aaron

Ran ashore

Got on a boat

Just a little more

Said Tommy

As they sailed into the sea

And the ghost of little Cody

Could see the two jump off

And see the two start to drown

And did nothing except start walking

Back to his hometown

He walked into his old house

And walked into his room

Trailing muddy footsteps

And trailing trails of gloom

Then the very next day

He went back to the sea

And little Cody Brock could see

Tommy Brollow

From Muddy Hollow

And Aaron Joint

From Arrow Point

Washed up on the shore

Destined to be Apart

A wall, a wall

Stands between the lovers

Of day of night

Of love of fight

Of time and death

Till final breath

Stand beside the wall

Speaking in low voices

To the other on the other side

Words of love and longing

Words of life and pain

Lovers kept apart

And lovers kept in strain

Kept apart forever

Under the blood moonlight

Never to be together

Destined for the nightly visits

In secrecy, a rendezvous of purest emotion

Not one day of seeing

Not one day of touch

Destined to be fleeing

Fleeing from the world

Fleeing from all the too much

Two different kingdoms

And two different lives of loneliness

And lives of sadness too

Lives of stained blood windows

And so she becomes an unwed widow

River

Rockabye baby

On the tree top

When the water flows

The baby will drop

Down in the river

Down in the stream

Down in the water

Down in a dream

Alone with a Violin

12:30 pm on a warm summer's day

Out in the wind

Out in the gray skies

Walks a girl named Violet

With her mahogany violin

Off to her lesson

Off to begin

Her walk to the school

Where her lessons take place

Off the greenhouse

Off to her space

Where before her lessons

She sits and plays

In the comforts of herself

And the comfort of her ways

When she gets to the greenhouse though

Someone else is there

And in the panic of someone seeing her

She throws herself behind a bush

A stickler bush

And it pricks at her hands

As she sits on the ground

On the ground by the bags of sand

Her hand starts to bleed

And her eyes start to water

She wants to cry out in pain

But falters

When the person inside the greenhouse comes out and looks at her

Down on the ground

With her blood stained, stickler caught hands

And walks over to her and extends his own

So she takes it

Now his hand is covered in sticklers

And they bleed together

On the ground

Hand in hand

By the mounds of bags of sand

Together

Glittery Tears Flow as I Fly in the Wind

Scars on my arms

And scars on my thighs

Glittery tears

In watery eyes

Terrible truths

And terrible lies

Into the wind

Preparing to fly

But falling instead

Onto the concrete

And lying there dead

Alone with me

But then I am found

Alone and half dead

I am walked up to

And the figure has said

You shall not die

No you shall not die

It is not your time

Do not say your goodbyes

And so I awoke in a hospital bed

With IV's and heart monitors

And an aching head

Pages

Thumbtacks pushed into the wall

Holding up a picture from her childhood

Everyday she sits

And stares at the picture of herself

Wondering what changed

Where was that little girl in the picture

Where had she gone

And what happened to the life

She was too ungrateful for to fawn over

She wondered when the page had turned

And how she hadn't noticed

She wondered why she felt the burn of unnoticeable change and truth

Of the loveliness of youth

When

Oh when

Did the page turn

And why had it turned

Why could the reader not read the same page forever

Why oh why

Must she cry

Simply because as the reader reads their book

She inches closer to dying

The Clouds

The clouds waft through the sky

Simply blowing along

Listening to the birds chirp their song

Never feeling

Just floating

Showing off

Until it rains

Thunder

Lighting

Cloudy skies

Gray and heavy like clay

It playfully electrocutes the world

Teasing the earth

With its terrifying games

The Lunatic, The Lover and the Poet

From heaven to earth

From earth to heaven

Determine the worth

Of the the imagination

Eyes meet eyes

And hands to hands

Of the lunatic, the lover, and the poet

Two seeming bodies

But one shared heart

And now return home

Back to the start

Of the life of the lunatic

Sick with envy and hate he grew up

Bile sits with a vile taste in his mouth

Until the taste of the feeling grew too strong

And it broke him to the brink of insanity

But now, having met another lunatic

They sit in one room

Hearts beating together

Now to the start of the lovers

One grew up rich

And one grew up poor

And the poor lad was thrown out the door

Of the castle of the richer lad

Thrown by the father

Assumed of a bother

Never to be seen again

But night by night at the gates did they meet

Until one day the fleeting thought of running away

Passed through his head

And the poorer man had said

"Let us run together to be happy for once."

And the other agreed

And the very next night did they run together

Two bodies of one heart together fully once more

And now to the start of the poet's story

A man grew up as a sweet little boy

And was teased for this fact

And with every scene of horror did he no longer wish to go on

Until his poetry was discovered

And he realized

That it could be

His reason to see

The wonders of life

And love

And death

And one day he met

His fair Juliet

With hair of gold and her heart shared with his

And those are the stories of the lunatic, the lover, and the poet

Two Dead Men

Out on the water

The river

The sea

Dead with you

And dead with me

On a ferry

Out on the water

The river

The sea

Dead together

And death to be

Drowning

In water

In snow

And in peace

Drowning and living

Dying as well

The riptide pulling

Gosh how swell

As I stand

With my feet in the water

The river

The sea

And I step on some seashells

And my feet start to bleed

Together

Just two dead men

Bleeding out in the water

The river

The sea

Welcome to Hell

Hello

Welcome to hell

How swell it is

That we're meeting again

How have you been

Am I insane?

Maybe a little bit

But it's all a game

So the fire of the flame

Is just entertainment to me

And you will be the main act of this circus that I'm the ringmaster of

So welcome to hell

How swell it is

That I can play with you again

Life Goals Bitch

When I grow up

I'm gonna be skinny

And pretty

And a slutty little stoner bitch

In high school

I'll be cool for once

And I'll get passed around

And suck dicks for weed

As the pretty high school stoner slut