Chapter 16: Her Tears

If you don't have a plan, then you're planning to fail.

Words i heard from some corner on the internet. Probably from a passing YouTube video I watched and yet that quote has been stuck in my mind for god knows how long. Only now does it become apparent with the things I want to achieve.

Until now i kind of planned the things i was doing and till now i was doing fine. At least better than the average person, but that is not an achievement that it should satisfy anyone with. Sure i did improve and reached heights that someone of my past self would be proud of, but satisfaction is relative.

It would indeed satisfy my past self, but there is a reason why i improved myself and has long moved on from being my past self. What i want in life is something much more than the average person could ever dream of. To just live life for the sake of it and only strive to survive every day is not enough.

Maybe it's enough for some people, but not enough for me. Far from enough.

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. What was i talking about again? Oh yes, about planning.

Now it has come to my attention that my goal of bringing down Bradley and the principal from their mighty thrones is well… to say the least, I'm better off plating flowers in the middle of nowhere. But hey, the pursuit of the impossible is what makes life fulfilling noh?

What is the point of life if the goals we are striving to achieve are easy and attainable? When the pursuit of something almost insurmountable is what challenges us and pushes to limits that we didn't even believe to be possible. It's what breaks the limits we supposedly believed and reach heights that we couldn't even imagine previously. If life is just easy, then it will get boring fast.

I'm getting sidetracked a lot lately, but whatever. The plan for taking down the supposed kings is in motion people. Sounds cringe, but whatever. For now, let's continue doing the project with Lorelai first.

"Malik, that color goes here and not there."

Lorelai stopped me from painting red on the life like eye she drew. She scorched over beside me, grabbing the brush i was holding and replacing it with the color blue. I watched as her delicate hand painted the iris ocean blue with careful strokes and, in a while, she was done with that part.

"Why can't we make it red?"

"Malik, i know you wanted to paint it red because of the movie you just watched."

I sat bewildered by what she said and a little insulted that she assumed it that way. Though i won't deny it as it is true. I thought it would be fun and colorful if we painted it red instead of blue.

"Okay, maybe that is true, but still, it would've been cool, right?"

Lorelai didn't respond and just looked at me with her own blue eyes. She gave a sigh after a few seconds and said.

"Dude, even though i would also love to paint red, because i also thought it would be pretty painting it red, but the class teacher were submitting it too isn't exactly a fan of seeing a drunk's eye."

Thinking about it for a bit, she was right. Mrs. Clarice isn't a fan of seeing painting what she deems as 'Crude'. If I do remember correctly, there was a person who submitted a painting of a literal garbage can, and even though it was one of the most beautiful paintings i saw, Mrs. Clarice failed it the moment she saw it.

She said it was 'The most crude and insulting piece of art I have laid eyes on'. After that she grabbed the painting and threw it in the trashcan, but in my view it looked a little ridiculous since the painting didn't fit the bin.

In subsequent events, she gave the person a D because of it. I would also like to mention that the person who painted it was Ace. Yup, it was Ace. Out of our friend group, he was the most artistic person me and Neil have ever seen. The guy could paint shit so real that someone would mistake it for actually being real.

Well, after that whole fiasco, Ace didn't seem to have any reaction to what just happened, he just moved on after that and never looked back. Though maybe because of that, he started painting the most obscure and 'crude' things whenever he attended that specific class. Ace can be really petty sometimes.

"Ok fine, you have a good point."

I sighed and stood up, wanting to grab a drink from the fridge for us. Just as i was about to go get it, Lorelai also stood up and grabbed my shoulder. She seemed a little flustered on the face, reacting as if she did something wrong.

"Uh wait… I mean, it's not impossible that we can't paint it red."

Puzzled, i look to Lorelai for answers as didn't she just said that we couldn't paint it red? I said what was on my mind and she responded.

"Look, i don't want to upset you because of this, Malik. It's both of our project and so we both should have a say on how we paint it."

"Oh i see, i dint think of it that way."

I nodded as i understood a why she reacted like that. Giving her a kiss on the cheek, i turned around and walked to the fridge to grab us a drink. I didn't notice but Lorelai's face turned beet red because of what i just did.

Grabbing two water bottles, I go back to what we were doing and notice that Lorelai had her back turned to me, but i saw that her ears were a little red.

"Lorelai, are you okay, your turning all red for some reason."

"No… What… You!"

Lorelai turned to me with apparent embarrassment on her face. She had a calm temperament surrounding her, but her obvious redness was giving away her charade. I had a grin on my face when i saw her being like this. It was cute.

"What? Why are you looking at me like!"

Lorelai said as she busted into a huff about my expression. She was a little pouty, i see. I sat down slowly as i grabbed her hand and to pull her into me. She showed a flustered expression but went along as with me.

We sat down, Lorelai sitting on my lap as i hugged her from behind, trying to soothe her annoyance. And it apparently worked since she started to lean against me with her whole body, seeming to be falling into a deep slumber.

Though i do indeed like the moment we having right now, i look in another direction and saw the painting unfinished, with only the irises being half done with the other half still not being painted.

I was about to remind her, but the peaceful expression on her face as well as her smile, made me unable to say anything except gently stroking her hair as she fell asleep. Gazing at her, i sat wondering how i was able to be her boyfriend. There was a little voice in my head telling me that i wasn't worthy of someone so kind and beautiful as Lorelai.

Yet the words and actions Lorelai has shown have been the complete opposite of what i was feeling. She has held my hands through everything i have experienced in this short amount of time. Supported me through the roughest times i have experienced these past few months. Lorelai was always there when i needed her.

And i intend to do the same and more.

I snap out of my thoughts to look at Lorelai. I saw that instead of being seemingly asleep; she was really asleep at the moment. But considering that she was drawing all morning, i understood why she was like this. I tried to move my arms so that i may lift her up but failed as she snuggled deeper into my chest.

On normal occasions i would have loved it but this isn't really the best place to sleep. We were currently on my house's living room floor and this is not the best place for her to rest. She might catch a cold and that is not a good outcome in any situation.

After some careful monitoring by me, i managed to stand up while i held Lorelai in a princess carry. She wasn't heavy by any means and i was able to carry her up into my room on the 2nd floor.

Opening my bedroom though, i made my way in as i put Lorelai to sleep in my bed. Gently laying her down on the uncomfortable sheets of my bed, i made sure that i was to not wake her up as i have somewhere to go right now.

Tucking her in under my blanket, i tip toed going out of my room, making sure to not wake her up. Just as i was about to close the door, i heard a voice coming from my bed.

"Malik…"

Hearing my name from Lorelai voice, i thought that she woke up from the noise i was making, but as i looked closer, i saw that she still had her eyes closed, burying deeper and deeper into my bed. Giving a slight sigh, i said goodnight to Lorelai as i carefully closed the door.

Closing my eyes, i forced myself to head back down into the living room. Needing to prepare for some things crucial to my plan. As much as i would love to stay and take care of Lorelai, there were still some things that is needed to be done.

And so with firm resolve, i walked down stairs feeling a hint of loneliness in the air. The atmosphere felt suffocating, making me feel the dreadful road i was about to embark upon. I wanted to tell Lorelai on what i was about to do, but i backed down in the last second, not bothering her with the thought of my plans.

Grabbing my bag, i strode over to the door and opened it intending to go to the bus stop. I already prepared the things i needed in my bag, some were legal while some were bordering on illegal. But you can't bring down a king without using specific weapons to slay it.

Before going to the bus stop, let's go to Ryan's house first. There were some things i needed from him. And Ryan's place happened to be the house next door. How fortunate.

I crossed the street and went over to the house directly in front of our house. Going up to the door, i knock on it for a few times and waited. In a moment, the door opened and saw that it was Ryan's mother, Melissa Cuningham.

"Oh Malik, How are you? Are you visiting Ryan?"

"Yes mam, may i ask where is Ryan at the moment?"

"He's in his room. Wait a moment deary, ill call Ryan down."

"No, it's fine Mam, ill just go to his room."

I said as there were some things i need to talk with Ryan, alone preferable.

"Alright then, why don't you come in and go to his room?"

Mrs. Melissa said with a bright smile on her face. Mrs. Melissa was always one of the kindest people i have met as she has always been so helpful to my mom. She wore a blue apron over her grey t-shirt and blue jeans. Round face and brown eyes as her facial features were younger than her supposed actual age. I don't ask for her age as i won't live to tell the tale. Overall, she was a drop dead gorgeous woman.

Walking into the house, i notice the minimalistic design of the house. Unlike our house, that was filled with various stuff ranging from paintings and furniture, Mrs. Melissa's house was the complete opposite. There were only the bare necessities in the living room.

Passing the kitchen, i saw that everything was symmetrical. Anything and everything in their correct place and nothing was out of place. Everything was in order. This is the only similarity i can point out between our two households. Mom may have a lot of stuff, but the stuff was in order and is put where it should be.

I made my way upstairs and saw a door at the middle end of the corridor. This was Ryan's room. Not bothering to knock, i just open the door and saw the other side of it. Neat and orderly but the difference between Ryan's room and everything else in the house was the amount of wiring, screens and keyboards in his room. Some might mistake it for a gaming apparel store.

Ryan's seated by his computer. he had three monitors in total. Two at his desk and one above those two. He had his back turned to me but i notice that his screen was full of code. I may have learned code in my spare time but the complexity on his screen was far beyond what i have learned.

I came near him and tapped on his shoulder, jolting him to me with a shocked expression on his space. He must have not noticed me coming into the room.

"Dude, you scared me! You should have knocked first, you know?"

Ryan grumbled at me as he then ignored me and went back to what he was doing. What he said is indeed has merit, its basic manners to knock first, but there's a problem with that statement. It's Ryan's door I'm knocking on.

The guy ain't exactly the most aware person of his surroundings. Back when i just met Ryan and started getting to know him, the amount of times i had to force him away from the screen was a fucking pain. I once had to go to his house to hang out and at that time i didn't know, but i did indeed knock and that this little shit didn't even hear it.

I knocked on his door so many times that in time, i was banging on his door like a battering ram and even then he didn't notice. Because of that, i got lightly scolded by Mrs. Melissa, but she did give me a joke afterwards and told me not to do it again. What a kind woman.

"Shut up dude, you wouldn't even notice."

"That may be true, but basic formality is needed now?"

Ryan said as he continued typing on his board. If it was any other person, they would be annoyed because Ryan wasn't even facing them as they talked, but this time I understand because he was acting this way due to me.

And so i waited for a while in his room, sitting down on his bed and pulling out a book to read from my bag. This was going to take a while. So after half an hour of waiting, i notice that Ryan was already sitting on the opposite side of me.

Now do i notice his current state and it was miserable to say the least. He had heavy dark circled under his eyes like he hadn't slept for days, pale white skin from the apparent lack of sunlight. His dark hair being covered by his hoody was unkempt, to say the least.

"You look like a bright ball of sunshine, Ryan."

"Shut up, this was your fault, you fuck."

Ryan said as he rubbed his eyes with his two hands. I won't deny that, but eh, you can't win a war without sacrifices. And this sacrifice was Ryan's sleep.

"But it's not like you don't look like a sleep deprived person any other day."

I retorted as what i didn't say was wrong.

"That maybe true, but you forgot one thing."

"And what is that?"

Ryan's piercing dark brown eyes looked at me with indifference.

"It's that your request this time was beyond absurd and illegal."

He said as he buried himself in his chair while crossing both of his arms. There was a pervading silence that followed after, as i didn't want to say anything. Indeed, the request i made to Ryan was borderline illegal but hey, we need a special sword to slay a king.

"Good point. But what's done is done. Now, did you get it?"

Responding with some anxiousness in my voice. Ryan sat there, not responding and just looking at me with arrogance on his face.

"How is that even a question? Of course i got it."

He pulled out a USB drive from the pockets of his hoodie, waving it in the air as if it was some holy sword enough to slay a dragon. And my description isn't far off, but instead of a dragon, it's a king and a prince.

I reached out with my hand as i tried to grab it, but Ryan pulled back his hand, sitting there with a grin on his face.

"Tut tut patience, Malik, you still haven't given me what i want."

Pulling back my hand, i calmed my raging emotions, controlling my breathing and remembering that this was a deal, not a charity. I opened the zipper on my backpack and took out a similar black USB. Now there weren't many things a Hacker of Ryan's caliber wants, but thanks to a passing comment he made back then, there was only one thing he wanted. And it just so happens i was able to acquire it.

Ryan's playful expression was broken in an instant, replaced with an expression of pure joy and excitement plastered on his face. He tried to grab the USB i was holding but i pulled back my arm in time.

"Tut tut patience Ryan, you still haven't given me what i want."

Ryan looked at me with a hint of resentment in his face, but he sighed in a moment and pulled out his own USB. He reached out his hand, displaying the USB with this time, i grabbed it without much interference. Admiring the subtle gleam of black to it, i already foresaw the outcome to my plan.

Tossing the USB in my hand to Ryan, i grabbed my backpack and made my out of his room. Before i left, Ryan said.

"Malik, you do know that whatever you're going to do with that won't end well. That thing is the best piece of work i had ever done, and even i don't know the damage it will cause if you let it loose. Are you sure you wanna continue?"

I didn't respond to what Ryan said. What he said made me recall the pain i went through because of them, but the pain i went through couldn't compare to the tears Lorelai had on her face.

"Positive."