Im here for us

Chapter 46

Khadija decided to stay at the local clinic serving the residents, I think she still has much hate towards me. Zafar was out and about taking care of the team's health and Elham had to leave after a week of being pampered and followed around by Mutaq. Wonder if she's still into him…after seeing that side of him. The attacks were once in a while but security was still upgraded, to ensure that in the future nothing of this sort occurred again, so none of their pockets will hurt.

It was finally winter, a time where the organization’s visited to drop off blankets, medical supplies, and food to the mainland. Our crew had it's own provident, I usually volunteered during my free time, serving out meals as I tried cheering up everyone. I temporarily closed the gallery in Japan, I wasn’t looking forward to having other people's work sell in the store, im still confused about so many paintings getting sold speaking of sold i forgot what it feels like to spend money.

“you good?”I say handing him a water bottle

“yes of course, can you tell me about Elhams past?”

“to be honest that isn’t my place, you should ask her yourself.”

“I don’t want it to look like im crossing the line, anyway let’s change the topic.”

“ we'll be out of here soon, ” I say waving towards our comrades

“ I might stay for a while…”

“ Are you sure about that? You saw how dangerous this place can be…what if you never go back.”

“Then it’s destiny.”

Destiny, the last thing I would like to think about. Reminding myself of the terrible choices I’ve made while being with Zafar, how our relationship is everything but normal.

“ I missed you, ” he said wrapping his arms around me

“ I missed you too, how was today?”

“tiring as always…do I smell bad today?”

“you smell like perfume, Musk?”

“Bingo, I know you weren’t complaining about the disinfectant smell…but I wanted to have a good image around you.”

“Still trying so hard after being married for almost 5years.”

He smiled, “ I have to be impressive.”

“And you question why I look like bread compared to you. Honestly.”

Somedays we’re easy, others were challenging. Sometimes I felt like giving up on everything, running home into my mother's arms, but it’s not like doing that will help me deal with my demons. The air out here, the people, the food, the company was a different kind of beautiful. Even if our job was on the violent side, we still looked out for each other…I had a bonus with my personal doctor beside me. We lived and prayed like it were our last, leaving at sunrise fully fed and clean, returning and sunset dusty and tired. A life I never thought I would end up living…

True love is described as someone accepting you fully, loving you with all your flaws, and forgiving you easily. A love that ill undoubtedly always find in my lord…so even if for that day I had no one precious beside me, or I felt a little lonely or lost…I would look up, shed a tear, and smile knowing that my Rabb(lord) is looking right back at me.

Sometimes at night, it would be difficult trying to fall off to sleep, as thoughts and events from the past creped into my mind, but once I read from my Quraan I felt at peace. All these years I chased the world and its possessions but after almost encountering death numerous times and watching my father lay helplessly with a full bank account, clearly, it’s not worth it, I just want a normal down to earth life, with a cup of coffee at hand and Zafar on my lap as we laugh about our mistakes and hold hands during prayer, but who knew that a life like that would cost more than a leg…more than our lives.

“ How are you feeling?”

“ me, im okay…im happy to, we'll be home in a month.”

“true, Zafar already left, he served his time as a doctor already…what are your plans once you arrive home?"

“this time I might actually settle down, start a family. Maybe continue working in the company, life looks completely different especially if death could knock on your door at any given moment.”

“True, we need to live a righteous life…my mother said the buildings complete so hopefully on the new year my business will finally open.”

“im happy for you…”

“and I am for you.”

Mutaq wasn’t lying about being a changed man, i often watched him pray, before he did anything. He's most certainly finally a grown-up.

“ Packing up?” My Comrade asked handing me a map.

“one last time? I know you’ll be spending the next two months on guard duty, pity I won’t see you again.”

“Who knows we might meet again in the future, ” she smiled leaving the room.

My phone, I have no idea where Mutaq put it, but I do miss society a lot. I started getting nightmares about the field and people dying, it became a lot more intense than I thought it would be. I followed the rest to our new location, at least for the remaining months I won’t be using violence against someone.