7: Drunkin Cthulhu Pirate
I couldn't help myself with the sea shanty, the spot and deity just made it to perfect
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Leaving the guild, I noticed Zuno had been sitting outside with Pandora waiting for me, causing me to snort at the sight. Given that, plenty of people were going around the Warg and Phoenix because they realized they're tamed monsters. Except one person who is likely one of those who hate tamed monsters, he was currently drawing his blade, about to execute my family as they are MINE, probably thinking that he wouldn't get in trouble. Whistling, I watched the man's head turn to me, as my fist met his face followed by a left hook to the stomach, bringing him to his knees before I round house kicked the side of his head into the ground with a curb stomp mixed in. He didn't have a chance to process much as he quickly was put out of commission with blood pooling from his mouth with some teeth dust and bits.
With a nod, I motioned for the two to follow me, Zuno walking on the downed man as he followed me while Pandora rode his on his head. Those who watched what was happening didn't bother speaking up as the man had done a breach of etiquette between Adventurers as some owe their lives to Tamers for saving them. So targeting a Tamers monsters unprovoked and like how he had done wasn't earning him anything as people walked around him letting him suffer. As we walked through the city, I stopped out in front of the Hostess of Fertility due to Ais and Riveria having spotted me, with the teen of the two flagging me down silently.
Raising two fingers, I lazily saluted the two with a small grin. Riveria did bonk me with her staff for biting her ear earlier in the day, but there was no power behind it, just a chiding tap. The two were with what could be called the Loki family's main attacking force, although I didn't know their names beside Gareth's as I have funnily enough met with the Dwarf and drank with him during the two something years I was in the city helping raise Ais. When he saw me, the old Dwarf perked up and bellowed a hearty laugh as he grinned at me and my monsters.
"So it was YOU that these two mentioned being back! I'll be damned that you actually came back! Thought Riveria and little Ais would've chased you off for good, good to see you again though, Dakota. You feel like sharing a drink like old times?"
Shaking my head, I gestured to his flask of Dwarven liquor, and he gladly unclasped it from his belt and threw it to me. Unscrewing the cap, I took a whiff of it and gagged slightly at how strong it smelled before taking a swig and screwing the cap back on, tossing the flask back. Blowing some literal fire out of my mouth as my infection processed and expelled the substance as a burning feeling stuck with me. Gareth cackled and took a swig of the drink shortly afterward before setting it back in place on his belt once more. The Pallum of the group looked at me with surprise, but a smile seeing how three of his people acted with me. The two Amazons of the group looked between us four before smirking at each other and muttering something to each other. The Wolf Beastman though tried, and I mean tried, to be a big bad alpha male, but didn't expect what happened to him. From Ais of all people, as she took some offense to what he was saying.
"Who the fuck are you?! Why are you acting all chummy with Ais, Riveria, and Gareth huh you fucking pests! Especially Ais you - BWAHBFHHAFF…."
Ais reinforced her legs with some wind and standing drop-kicked the Wolf man with an actual annoyed expression on her face. Landing on her feet as the wolf was caught by the Pallum, he struggled to stand up but managed. Looking at Ais as if he didn't understand why she had suddenly attacked him or why she was showing an actual expression, a negative one at that, towards him.
"Don't be rude, Bete. He is allowed to be unlike you. Right, dad?"
At being called dad, the rests perked up and Bete looked like he just sucked on a Goblins cock covered in lemon juice. Gareth looked at Ais and had a shit-eating proud grin on his face, seeing the teen say more than one word and say something like that. Riveria looked at Ais with a smile, as the Elf looked at her affectionately for showing some clear emotions. Chuckling wryly at being put on the spot by her, I shrugged noncommittally at the girl.
"Well, I'm not biologically your dad, like Riveria isn't your mom. Or Gareth being the grandpa. But family is who you choose and are those you cherish. However, if you still really want to call me that even though I left for fourteen years, then I won't stop you. I did try my best to help raise the kid I was frozen in time with for the two years I was around."
"Nn, not relevant. Dad is Dad."
Chuckling at the blonde teen, I walked over to her and ruffled her hair, getting an annoyed but pleased sound from her. The Pallum spoke up with a smile, seeing how happy Ais looked currently as my monsters came near and greeted the girl.
"I won't say anything rude given your relationship to Ais, Riveria, and Gareth, mister. However, I should introduce myself since you may get dragged to dinner with us. My name is Finn Deimne, the Hero of the Pallums and the Loki families Captain. You've met Bete Loga, our Werewolf, the Amazons are Tione and Tiona Hiryute, we all comprise the main team of the family."
Thinking a bit and looking at them, I glance at Ais before introducing myself since, they're not that bad even Bete he cares clearly, just shows it differently.
"Dakota Carter, adoptive father figure of Ais and suffering parent figure with Riveria Ljos Alf. I look like I'm thirty-one, but I'm over a thousand years old, yet I'm Human, so wrap your head around that."
Oh? the poor Amazons actually tried, but the one called Tiona looked as if I had scandalized her world by just existing and looking young. Finn nodded, likely knowing Ais's circumstances, Bete though looked absolutely floored as he looked between me, Ais, and Riveria with his mouth moving at times to speak before it closes. Grinning at the man, I decided something on the fly, I narrowed my eyes at him, letting some bloodlust and pressure of my ascending soul crash into him, making him buckle with his eyes dilating as he looked at me. He shook it off quickly and growled at me, which made me smile like a crook.
"You've got some spunk kid, you'll go far just like he did. Well, if you actually put your desires and stubborn pride to use after pulling your head out of your ass."
My words tripped his attitude up as he dumbly asked something.
"What?"
Yet, I wouldn't elaborate since while it was weak, he could shrug off the bloodlust of one of the first Adventurers. Adventurers that fought hordes of monsters alongside the Divine, and their offsprings such as Hercules, to push the Dungeon back and clear the surface. So yes, he'd go far if he gets his head out of his own ass and triggers the hidden function of the Falna to create TRUE skills tailored for himself. Because if people can get stronger due to skills being created by love or determination to achieve something with the right mindset, then if he'd do so he'd soar farther and higher.
Ais was getting pushy though as the blonde teen slowly pushed me into the restaurant. Upon entering, I noticed a certain rabbit with a waitress and decided to make myself known to him. Stomping on the flooring, I began singing a sea shanty that made him perk right up and gape at me as I sang the shanty. Cthulhu must've been watching, as I didn't create the sea-themed pirate ships or anything. Guess even squids love this shanty.
"What will we do with a drunken sailor?
What will we do with a drunken sailor?
What will we do with a drunken sailor?
Early in the morning!"
I could see the mumbled no, so I got more boisterous. Zuno watched me with morbid amusement, seeing who I was tormenting. Pandora added well-timed thunder crackling sounds to Cthulhu's ocean theatrics with the ghost ships and pirates.
"Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Early in the morning!"
Bell and the waitress with him looked on with two expressions, dread and curious amusement. The owner of the place watched amused with a dangerous grin as she picked up what I was doing. Several drunk Adventurers couldn't resist singing along as they began raising their mugs with amusement.
"Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!"
Ais, Riveria, Gareth, Finn, Tione, Tiona, and Bete watched with various levels of amusement or confusion. My eyes locked with Bell's as his red eyes shook with pleas for this to stop. My smile only got more crooked when my Warg began barking along.
"Put him in a longboat till he's sober
Put him in a longboat till he's sober
Put him in a longboat till he's sober
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises"
I slowly and methodically made my way to Bell, my monsters on my heels as they enjoyed the foolery.
"Early in the morning!
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!"
Bell tried running, but the waitress next to him kept him in place. As I stood before him, stomping my feet and clapping with an extremely crooked smile. My deity and monsters are just goading on the song with delight. Cthulhu because he likes fucking with people, and it's a sea shanty, he is an ocean eldritch. Pandora because she knows this is a rare moment and that, well, Bell just makes it too easy to fuck with him. Zuno is doing this just because I don't know, honestly…. He may be a troll? Probably.
"Put him in the bed with the captains daughter
Put him in the bed with the captains daughter
Put him in the bed with the captains daughter
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!"
"Dakota, please stop… I'm not a kid anymore…. Please!"
My eyes glimmered a red light as I heard his plea before picking up the pace. Grabbing the rabbit from his seat and making him dance along.
"That's what we do with a drunken sailor
That's what we do with a drunken sailor
That's what we do with a drunken sailor
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning!"
The quick pace and rambunctious style quickly made the teen fall against the bar counter, tired. The Adventurer's drunk off their asses stumbled away or passed out in their seats. The staff was just giggling a storm up, seeing me and my monsters messing with the white haired teenager. The owner was leaning on the counter, grinning as she watched us. So, I decided to strike and do even more emotional damage to my previous charge.
"Names Dakota Carter, thank you ladies for taking care of Bell here. He's just a shy little piece of shit, you know? Because there's this one time he had decided-"
Bell tried his best to shut me up going as far as putting his fingers panickingly inside my mouth. Well, I bit his fingers, drawing blood, causing the teen to hurriedly pull his fingers away with a yelp. Grinning at him with blood on my teeth that had some edge to them, I asked the boy a question.
"What did you learn, Bell?"
"Never stick my fingers in your mouth without thinking to stop you from talking…."
"Would you like to be healed?"
"Yes, please… your teeth are sharp…"
Cackling softly, I healed his fingers by applying some paste from a sealed container I had hidden in a pocket. Rubbing a dab of it on his fingers that were bleeding, the wounds knit themselves together. Storing my Restorative Balm, I ordered some Spaghetti from Momma Mia, as she calls herself. Riveria, Ais, and the rest of Loki's main team sat at the bar with me and Bell. Bete tried insulting Bell, as apparently he ran screaming covered in Minotaur blood from Ais in the Dungeon earlier because he nearly died. Drawing a .305 magnum from my duster loaded with blanks, I shot Bete in the head while taking a sip of some water that Riveria passed me. If she doesn't want me to drink, I won't drink, since I now have both of my charges with me. With Bete falling out of his seat as a blank round hit him between the eyes, I just kept the magnum out, laying it on the counter.
"What was that song? Who is he?"
Looking at Ais and seeing the blush on Bell's face, I caught onto what was going on and decided to just do my duty as the father figure. Cock block Bell. Pointing at him, I began talking when my food was placed in front of me, it was a large portion, so I was going to likely feed some to Zuno and get Pandora the meat from it.
"This is Bell Cranell, my charge for the past fourteen years. He's nicknamed Rabbit because he acts like one a lot of the time. As for the song? That's a sea shanty called Drunkin Pirate, and Bell here liked singing it whenever he and the village kids played "Land Pirate" after I thought him it. He'd sing it whenever he just felt like being a "dastardly" pirate, the villagers and his grandfather found it adorable as Bell would run away whenever I joined in because I fucked with him hard due to my deity. Cthulhu liked having me create skeleton pirates drenched in seawater and sea fauna and having them chase him as I ran after him singing the song."
Ais blinked and just started giggling seeing me doing such, as I did the same thing with her when I was around. She only had two years of it, Bell had fourteen years of it to live with. Riveria looked at me like I was absolutely the worst person for traumatizing children, thanks to my deity. Gareth was cackling and choking a bit on some strong liquor with a flushed face. Bete was about so say something rude, so I shot him in the dick, making the man howl a high-pitched note. Finn was amused seeing me just mess with the teen, making Ais giggle as Bell hit his head on the bar counter. Tione and Tiona were absolutely livid with amusement that they were giggling while miming some stuff, the wrong stuff, as they were getting drunk. The staff of the place were just working and giggling at Bell's misery as I cock blocked him because I am Dad to Ais, so I must do my duty.
Giving half my food to Zuno, I feed Pandora a meatball while deciding to ask Bell something as Hestia and him likely live in a dump in the slums.
"Hey Bell, know anywhere near yours and Hestia's place in the slums that I can just claim? Preferably with criminals in it that won't be missed. No one will miss those people."
Bell sucked in a breath of air before looking at me as if I were just some magical trickster that shouldn't know things.
"I really don't want to know how you know I live with a Goddess or that we live in the slums…. But there is one place near our home that has some that use it as a hideout. I could take you there if you'd like?"
"Just point me in the direction, then we'll go hunting. No need for you to see the sights that'll go down kid, after all I plan to get messy. Zuno and Pandora don't have experience fighting Adventurers yet, and before you ask, this is the city of Adventurer's Bell, chances are high they have a Falna."
"Ah… alright, I'll take you to the general area later then."
"N, Good luck."
"Don't be too loud, your guns make a racket."